For The Love

[Graeme]

Hrmmmm, that would explain the hidden cameras!

You've misunderstood -- the hidden webcams are something he did in his effort to be an utter bastard. There are OTHER hidden cameras watching him being a bastard, but as these are focused on Eric and not the boys, they haven't found them yet.

 

I highlighted Graeme's very appropriate use of "high stakes". Well, the guys are up on top of a cliff, so that's high, and stakes, well, they are staked out, so definitly "high stakes."

 

Actually, I wish I'd have thoguht of that, it would have made an excelent title for this chapter!

Feel free to go back and change the name of the chapter. I hereby relinquish all rights to the phrase

[Bondwriter]

There really are some clues in the chapter, seriously.

OK: first, what do we learn about Eric? He has superpowers to find them in the desert without owning a vehicle (apparently, since we can't know if he didn't park next to the Jeep.) Or he got a ride from his cronies.

In any case, how has he gone on performing criminal activities such as drug dealing (actually, this is the first time we hear about him peddling drugs, though by now if he was selling radioactive waste to terrorists, we wouldn't be too surprised, would we?)

 

He's nervous, as CJames pointed out by highlighting the added line. So he could be frightened of his accomplices; in which case, if they gave him a ride, why don't they help him out in disposing of Steve and Chris? If they need the password, they'd all be there, with a laptop to make sure they get the good one... And once they get it, make sure they'll never be bothered anymore.

 

Maybe he's in a hurry: some deadline (drug delivery?) is coming up, and Eric needs to clean things up before he beats it. The most puzzling thing, and maybe where we've been misled by CJ's relentless "industrious tyke" chanting, is Eric's possible number one position in the crime ring. What if when he was in the "custody" of the Piedmont sheriff, he actually managed to get control of the guy (he might know a few dirty little secrets about him).

 

So there is no doubt left as to Eric's evil side. I can't believe he's being watched by Thaddeus/ PS as he 's taking care of Steve and Chris, and he's willing to let them die. Were he watched from far away, there's always a way to let a little slack in the rope so they might escape after a while. But apparently, he's willing to have the boys grill in the sun.

 

With CJ's gloating over reality not being what it seems, we should really try to outwit him by drafting a possible scenario of what's going on behind the scenes. A secret passage in the bookstore; Thaddeus hijacking the LVPD computer (or is there a mole in the LVPD?); Eric putting up a porn website hosted overseas; Eric in the drug business; the Piedmont sheriff willing to kill Chris (and Steve). How does this all tie up together?

[Jack Frost]

Dream on, like they would die now. Too early...plus, they're expected to die in the car off the cliff.

 

Another great chapter buttt....

 

Another goddamn f**king annoying cliffhanger.

[C James]

You've misunderstood -- the hidden webcams are something he did in his effort to be an utter bastard. There are OTHER hidden cameras watching him being a bastard, but as these are focused on Eric and not the boys, they haven't found them yet.

Feel free to go back and change the name of the chapter. I hereby relinquish all rights to the phrase

ROFL!!!!!!!!!

 

Hrmmm, I like the idea of a reality show... And a second set of hidden cams... but, is Eric capable of acting evil enough to have a chance?

OK: first, what do we learn about Eric? He has superpowers to find them in the desert without owning a vehicle (apparently, since we can't know if he didn't park next to the Jeep.) Or he got a ride from his cronies.

In any case, how has he gone on performing criminal activities such as drug dealing (actually, this is the first time we hear about him peddling drugs, though by now if he was selling radioactive waste to terrorists, we wouldn't be too surprised, would we?)

 

Yep, Eric kinda blabbed on himself when he remarked about how much he'd normally sell the Keto for.

But, we all know that he's industrious, a real entrepreneur, so another little business sideline was to be expected.

 

He's nervous, as CJames pointed out by highlighting the added line. So he could be frightened of his accomplices; in which case, if they gave him a ride, why don't they help him out in disposing of Steve and Chris? If they need the password, they'd all be there, with a laptop to make sure they get the good one... And once they get it, make sure they'll never be bothered anymore.

 

I didn't say he was nervous, I just pointed out that his hands were shaking. It could mean nervous, or it could mean something else.

 

But apparently, he's willing to have the boys grill in the sun.

 

With CJ's gloating over reality not being what it seems, we should really try to outwit him by drafting a possible scenario of what's going on behind the scenes. A secret passage in the bookstore; Thaddeus hijacking the LVPD computer (or is there a mole in the LVPD?); Eric putting up a porn website hosted overseas; Eric in the drug business; the Piedmont sheriff willing to kill Chris (and Steve). How does this all tie up together?[/font][/size]

 

Gloating? Would a goat gloat? But, yes, there is much going on that has only been hinted at. The next few chapters reveal a great deal indeed.

 

Dream on, like they would die now. Too early...plus, they're expected to die in the car off the cliff.

 

Another great chapter buttt....

 

Another goddamn f**king annoying cliffhanger.

 

Actually, all blame for a cliffhanger (if this is one, and I'm not saying that it is, as I never admit to using cliffhengers) must lie with... shdowgod, our anonymous beta reader. Yes, it is shdowgod's fault! (just like global warming).

 

Ya see, he made a comment a while back about me not having had a cliffhanger with the guys dangling from a cliff yet... So, that inspired me to change the last word in the chapter from "rocks" to "cliffs". Therefor, all is, unquestionably, shdowgod's fault.

[shadowgod]

First things First...

 

Whats with the girly fire? C'mon more work was exerted in the flower bed at the Williams residence. For future reference a fire pit is not a fire pit unless it is six foot around and at least five feet deep.

 

Had our hero's invested effort in said fire pit, that insidious little (insert expletive here) wouldn't have had a chance, the whole clearing would have been lit up like noon at the OK coral.

 

I do have to say though this chapter was a real eye opener for me, I have maintained some modicum of hope for Eric all along. But with his little plan here I'm not sure I can maintain such a optimistic outlook for his future. Maybe it would be best if he fell victim to a certain plot device.

 

And yeah... blame the anonymous beta-reader!

[C James]

First things First...

 

Whats with the girly fire? C'mon more work was exerted in the flower bed at the Williams residence. For future reference a fire pit is not a fire pit unless it is six foot around and at least five feet deep.

 

Had our hero's invested effort in said fire pit, that insidious little (insert expletive here) wouldn't have had a chance, the whole clearing would have been lit up like noon at the OK coral.

 

Shdowgod knows what of he speaks regarding campfires. He's posted pictures of his own camping trip in this post in the "Shot of Bourbon" thread. The enormous blazing inferno that shdowgod created took several guys to dig. Had Chris and Steve followed his advice, they would still have been digging when Eric arrived, leaving Eric with an even larger firewood supply. :fire:

 

But. he's right, for a real camping trip, nothing beats a real firepit.

 

I do have to say though this chapter was a real eye opener for me, I have maintained some modicum of hope for Eric all along. But with his little plan here I'm not sure I can maintain such a optimistic outlook for his future. Maybe it would be best if he fell victim to a certain plot device.

 

Ummm, which plot device? Driving the Charger into the Grand Canyon?

 

And yeah... blame the anonymous beta-reader!

 

Of course!!! It's so easy to do because of your anonymity. But, seriously, it was you who inspired me to change the last word in the chapter from "rocks" to "cliffs".

 

 

OK, I have a serious question for everyone!

 

In Ch 22, when Steve is hit by a tranquilizer dart, I originally had it written so that Chris noticed a flash in the darkness. The reason I wrote it that way is that the darts I researched use a tiny explosive charge to inject the target, and this causes a small flash in the darkness, and it says so on their website. Most .50 calibre darts use a very similar design, so I think the same would apply.

 

However, more than one person who saw the original commented that air rifles (which is what the dart gun is) don't make a flash. I considered altering the text so that Chris sees the dart itself flash, but that looked clunky. Therefor, I altered it so that he just didn't notice the flash (due to the dart hitting Steve out of Chris' line of sight).

 

The basic issue here is: it would be technically correct to have the dart flash, but as most people don't know that, it read odd so i removed it. What I'd like to know is; in future situations such as this, would you prefer that I use the actual information in full, or just use a plot device (such as Steve being hit in a place that wasn't in Crhis' line of sight) to omit the detail (which was irrelavant to the plot).

 

Thanks!!

CJ

[shadowgod]

OK, I have a serious question for everyone!

 

In Ch 22, when Steve is hit by a tranquilizer dart, I originally had it written so that Chris noticed a flash in the darkness. The reason I wrote it that way is that the darts I researched use a tiny explosive charge to inject the target, and this causes a small flash in the darkness, and it says so on their website. Most .50 calibre darts use a very similar design, so I think the same would apply.

 

However, more than one person who saw the original commented that air rifles (which is what the dart gun is) don't make a flash. I considered altering the text so that Chris sees the dart itself flash, but that looked clunky. Therefor, I altered it so that he just didn't notice the flash (due to the dart hitting Steve out of Chris' line of sight).

 

The basic issue here is: it would be technically correct to have the dart flash, but as most people don't know that, it read odd so i removed it. What I'd like to know is; in future situations such as this, would you prefer that I use the actual information in full, or just use a plot device (such as Steve being hit in a place that wasn't in Crhis' line of sight) to omit the detail (which was irrelavant to the plot).

 

If the information has no relevance to the story I'd say leave it out, as it is chunky useless information. Concerning said information would CHris have remebered that detail anyhow? Or would he have more preoccupied with the situation to notice something as trivial as a small flash.

[Graeme]

I agree with the anonymous beta-reader. Unnecessary detail can detract from the plot. The key point was that Steve ended up with a dart in him. The odds of Chris looking in the right direction to see a flash OR to see the dart as it flew are so slim that it's not worth wondering about. Unless there is a plot reason for Chris to see it, why complicate the matter with detail that doesn't add anything to the story and could confuse?

 

Having said that, I'm drunk, so please take any advice with me with a large grain of salt (or beverage of your choice).

[ethan thorn]

Ok maybe there not hanging off a cliff but there roasting in the hot desert summer sun. Under the effects of special K no less thankgod there is only 3 or 4 more days to wait.

[Bondwriter]

Same as Graeme and Steve. Do not bother with (very) small details too much. Chris is tipsy, so there's no obligation for him to notice what's going on. Or is your question a way to tease us poor readers who just want to know what is to happen? (eg Ethan just above)

 

If Eric is shaky, could he be suffering from some withdrawal symptome? What drug is he hooked to anyway?

[EMoe57]

Ok maybe there not hanging off a cliff but there roasting in the hot desert summer sun. Under the effects of special K no less thankgod there is only 3 or 4 more days to wait.

OH, no... you are going to be so disappointed. The next chapter doesn't resolve this. Instead, the goat wrote about

 

$*)LJKASD{GW )Y* @ H@J* +))J* + )NUI +@ FN+)@* )NU + $RNURV INWR NUWER )J*(J * )J@$ H&*_@ $H&_(@$ HBVFNKLSDVNM PUO{OAQW FGG@$*()@$ RWGNOWGR*(*($@# QE ()&$HUITGSF)*!@#HNFGWER)Q_+HQURFRWGIH_WRHGWROP

 

This post has been encrypted using the same passwords and mechanisms as the original datastick.

[Graeme]

This post has been encrypted using the same passwords and mechanisms as the original datastick.

Thanks, Emoe! My opinion of Dex has taken a nosedive -- that was too easy to decrypt....

[C James]

If the information has no relevance to the story I'd say leave it out, as it is chunky useless information. Concerning said information would CHris have remebered that detail anyhow? Or would he have more preoccupied with the situation to notice something as trivial as a small flash.

Good point!

 

In this case, my original inclusion was not only chunky and useless, but confusing, so I'm very, very glad that I too my anonymous beta reader (shdowgod's) advice on the matter.

I agree with the anonymous beta-reader. Unnecessary detail can detract from the plot. The key point was that Steve ended up with a dart in him. The odds of Chris looking in the right direction to see a flash OR to see the dart as it flew are so slim that it's not worth wondering about. Unless there is a plot reason for Chris to see it, why complicate the matter with detail that doesn't add anything to the story and could confuse?

 

Having said that, I'm drunk, so please take any advice with me with a large grain of salt (or beverage of your choice).

 

The dart would have flashed when it hit, not during flight, but I agree; it would have been a detraction to include it. Were I writing in third-person I might have tried it as a background detail, but in first it would have been horrible.

 

Ok maybe there not hanging off a cliff but there roasting in the hot desert summer sun. Under the effects of special K no less thankgod there is only 3 or 4 more days to wait.

Less than 12 hours, now. :-)

 

And you are quite right; unlike shadowgod, who is notorious for his cliffhangers, my characters are merely on top of a cliff being cooked to death, so I wouldn't call it a cliffhanger.

 

Same as Graeme and Steve. Do not bother with (very) small details too much. Chris is tipsy, so there's no obligation for him to notice what's going on. Or is your question a way to tease us poor readers who just want to know what is to happen? (eg Ethan just above)

 

If Eric is shaky, could he be suffering from some withdrawal symptome? What drug is he hooked to anyway?

Thanks!

Nope, I really did want to know how people felt. I'm a bit of a detail nut, so there was a bit of a desire to include things like that. It is fortunate that I reign in this tendency, otherwise you would have had a several-chapter-long detailed recount of exactly how Rob and Joe removed the dent in Steve's bumper after he rammed Veronica's mailbox.

 

As for Eric, would this be a good place for me to make my "Poor, misunderstood Eric" defense?

 

OH, no... you are going to be so disappointed. The next chapter doesn't resolve this. Instead, the goat wrote about

$*)LJKASD{GW )Y* @ H@J* +))J* + )NUI +@ FN+)@* )NU + $RNURV INWR NUWER )J*(J * )J@$ H&*_@ $H&_(@$ HBVFNKLSDVNM PUO{OAQW FGG@$*()@$ RWGNOWGR*(*($@# QE ()&$HUITGSF)*!@#HNFGWER)Q_+HQURFRWGIH_WRHGWROP

This post has been encrypted using the same passwords and mechanisms as the original datastick.

 

Emoe!!! No fair posting my unedited text! (OK< now y'all know what my typing looks like, and what Emoe has to deal with... It ain't easy to type with hooves!)

[Bondwriter]

As for Eric, would this be a good place for me to make my "Poor, misunderstood Eric" defense?

No.

$*)LJKASD{GW )Y* @ H@J* +))J* + )NUI +@ FN+)@* )NU + $RNURV INWR NUWER )J*(J * )J@$ H&*_@ $H&_(@$ HBVFNKLSDVNM PUO{OAQW FGG@$*()@$ RWGNOWGR*(*($@# QE ()&$HUITGSF)*!@#HNFGWER)Q_+HQURFRWGIH_WRHGWROP

OK, I've put a number of computer security experts on this one, and I'm eventually able to decipher Emoe's cryptic message. So, be warned, THIS IS A SPOILER!!!

"Enjoying the sun tan, guys? Wood wasn't enough, I thought a little gasoline could help to make a really nice bonfire! Mwah! Ha! Ha! I bet Thaddeus and my lover the sheriff will be pleased..."

[Jack Scribe]

No.

 

OK, I've put a number of computer security experts on this one, and I'm eventually able to decipher Emoe's cryptic message. So, be warned, THIS IS A SPOILER!!!

"Enjoying the sun tan, guys? Wood wasn't enough, I thought a little gasoline could help to make a really nice bonfire! Mwah! Ha! Ha! I bet Thaddeus and my lover the sheriff will be pleased..."

 

Actually, your decoder was wrong. Emoe was really saying:

 

"Forget about the lube...since you two don't need it. I hope you packed sun block SPF 32 and Fiji water. Get home and vote for Sanjaya on American Idol."

 

Emoe hasn't heard yet that Sanjaya was voted off last week.

 

Jack

[C James]

No.

 

OK, I've put a number of computer security experts on this one, and I'm eventually able to decipher Emoe's cryptic message. So, be warned, THIS IS A SPOILER!!!

"Enjoying the sun tan, guys? Wood wasn't enough, I thought a little gasoline could help to make a really nice bonfire! Mwah! Ha! Ha! I bet Thaddeus and my lover the sheriff will be pleased..."

 

Sorry, but not quite!

And why isn't this a good place for my "Poor, misunderstood Eric" statement? Well, I guess that wasn't working too well, so I'm turning over a new leaf: He's now "Poor, lovable, misperceived Eric."

 

Actually, your decoder was wrong. Emoe was really saying:

 

"Forget about the lube...since you two don't need it. I hope you packed sun block SPF 32 and Fiji water. Get home and vote for Sanjaya on American Idol."

 

Emoe hasn't heard yet that Sanjaya was voted off last week.

 

Jack

 

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And lube? I absolutely guarantee that the word "lube" will be appearing in the next chapter (24).

 

BTW, CHAPTER 23 has just been POSTED.

[Bondwriter]

Nice way to have the boys escape. The most plausible too. I

[Graeme]

I'm not sure what to make of this. I think I'll be charitable and say that after what they had been through, Steve and Chris were not thinking clearly. They've made numerous errors of judgement, as Bondwriter has pointed out, but given what they have been through, I think they can be justified in not being 100% rational.

 

I remember the comment about how hard it was to hammer in the stakes, so the way they got out was plausible, if a touch melodramatic. Waiting until Chris had lost consciousness before Steve broke free was slightly cliched, but, hey, this is an adventure drama. As if most action drama isn't melodramatic

 

Nicely done, CJ!

[old bob]

Hey CJ

You are as precise as a swiss watch

I was too busy last and this week to read the last chapters. I will check the comments ans read chapters 22 and 23 hopefully this evening. "For the love" is definitively the best story on GA .

BTW I like all the researches you made to stay up to date

[Bob D.]

BTW, CHAPTER 23 has just been POSTED.

 

 

AAARRGGg... to me this is a cliffhanger and they did do some cliffhanging to get the backpacks back...

 

But I already know Eric won't be there when the deputy arrives, and Dad will be home very soon... (Steve called distpatch, dispatch calls deputy, dispatch calls Dad... Dad flies like a bat out of hell to get back to the house to scold the boys for going into the desert without telling anyone!

 

Oh well, another day, and other day to wait!

 

Keep it up Goatman! and if you want to go camping before the summer heat hits, let me know...

[TalonRider]

I have to agree, I don't think Eric won't be there when the cops get there. He does seem to play Houdini a lot.

 

As for the Flying Lessons, I think that comes in when it was mentioned to drop him off the edge of the cliff, which is only a 30 to 40 ft. drop.

 

Good chapter CJ.

 

Jan

[C James]

Nice way to have the boys escape. The most plausible too. I

Edited April 24, 2007 by C James

[Conner]

This wasn't my idea of a great camping trip. But there was no gay-boi shishkebab either.

 

If Eric were really a bad person, he would have orgaized a tour of the bake-out site for all his porn site members. You know, so they could get autographs and stuff from their favourite porn stars. I know I would have signed up! It's hard not to admire a good business sense.

 

Another point in Eric's favour is that he was going to dispose of the bodies in the mineshaft. I believe that this would have been the environmentally correct thing to do! Good on ya, Eric!

 

Great job, CJ!

 

Conner

[Jack Frost]

See, CJ can't kill them yet.

 

But I do have a feeling that Eric may have escaped. What were they thinking leaving him there all alone for him to think how to escape? :s

 

Yes, CJ, I don't trust him...so shut up with the "poor misunderstood Eric" thing.

 

And if anything happens to Eric, Chris and Steve are in some deep legal hot water for not reporting sooner.

Of course, you don't have to make a legal deal out of this. It's your fiction, you can make it not happen and they get off dirt-free.

 

In all honesty though, I'm still learning (this is my first serial), and I make lots of mistakes. I've also had a lot of help regarding some of the technology, specifically how to operate modern cell phones, from shdowgod and Rick.

Don't tell me you don't know how a cellphone works.

 

Or if they don

[Bondwriter]

Another point in Eric's favour is that he was going to dispose of the bodies in the mineshaft. I believe that this would have been the environmentally correct thing to do! Good on ya, Eric!

I'm not 100% sure that it'd be the most environmentally correct way to do so. Any Sierra Club members to back your point of view? But good things can be said about Eric's entrepreneurial skills indeed. Someone willing to kill his own brother to save his unlawful business can't be all bad, can he?

And the bullet could be traced to them. Each police gun and the bullets are registered to the state, and each bullet has a unique marking from the gun that cannot be almost reproduced by other guns. Their ass would be grass if they used the police gun and didn't report the firing.

I doubt people who can cover their trail for an illegal porn site would have lots of trouble laying their hands on some anonymous weapons that could even be linked to a poor innocent sap they'd then pin it on.