starboardtack
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Everything posted by starboardtack
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I have binge read these stories over the last few days and your chronicles of the messiness of life is what has kept my attention. They are so much more than The expected “tab A fits into slot B” and they all loved and loved happily ever after, after they had a good shag. I appreciate your craftsmanship and look forward to more stories written on lined paper.
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It would have been all too easy in real life, and all too cliche in a story, for Nick to “give in to his passions.” You set up and wisely left the moral dilemma unresolved. Good work.
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Those Moments of Silence
starboardtack commented on Drew Payne's story chapter in Those Moments of Silence
My father did not talk to me for 4 years when I converted from Judaism to Christianity (long story, no assumptions please). When he finally did open the door again, I had a feeling that we did not have enough time to go through another estrangement so I never came out to him. What once was a vibrant, open, and close relationship became stilted and guarded as I made sure not to come too close to the truth in any of our times together. I was right — he died a year later. I am clear that I made the right decision but it is a decision I always will regret. This story captures that part of my life. -
So glad you did not tie this up with a pretty ribbon and make it nice. You handled this just right.
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The scope of your imagination is astounding.
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Intelligent, well written fun. Good story!
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Chapter 8 - Going Commando
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 8 - Going Commando
You are such a great story teller. Your pacing, characters, inner and outer dialogues, and scenes are spot on. I am very curious what you will do with Penn, Nash and Cam. I hope you do not have Nash and Penn betray or come close to betraying Cam the way Lee and Paul betrayed Nash. Can you avoid the stereotype of the uncontrollable lust of the gay man? That would be too cliche and so far you have avoided most of them — except for repeated references to Penn’s utter perfection. A delicious cliche but a cliche nevertheless. LOL -
Chapter 6 - Trying to Cope
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 6 - Trying to Cope
Another excellent chapter. -
The First General 3 -reupload
starboardtack commented on gabz2000's story chapter in The First General 3 -reupload
Just when I think you have outdone yourself, you outdo yourself yet again. Marvelous chapter, incredible twists- 20 comments
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Confusingly written chapter.
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Is This the Man I Want to Be?
starboardtack commented on Tallguyct's story chapter in Is This the Man I Want to Be?
Very much looking forward to how this develops. Good start. -
Mr. Neighbor and his crew
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Mr. Neighbor and his crew
I loved the way you created a relationship between Donovan and the group of older gentlemen. It was respectful and hilarious. Wonderful writing. -
Never crossed my mind.
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You have a good “eye” for the lives your characters lead and a good ear for dialogue. I am looking forward to see what you do with this story. One question, you named the three Knott brothers as Ryan, Penn and Nathan and then wrote about them as Ryan, Penn and Logan. Did I miss something and, if so, I apologize?
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Just an added thought/twist — one of the long term effects of TBI can be issues with emotional regulation. Levi’s emotional outbursts do smack of that. Not sure whether you had this in mind while writing his character but it would be consistent with his injury on top of the anger about his other trauma related losses. Could add a complication to the plot that you would not want to deal with though. Enjoying this story a lot.
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I'm a Little Different
starboardtack commented on FlyOnTheWall's story chapter in I'm a Little Different
I was worried about remembering who the characters were, what roles they played in each others lives, and their stories/histories. You did a superb job re-introducing them. Now I can look forward to the upcoming chapters without feeling like I have to play catch up. Please remind me, how old was Noah when he first came to live with Charlie and how old is he at the end of this chapter. -
Delightful end to this chapter,!
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It is so good to have you back. I have missed your writing!!! Ireland, redheads, and horses, you sure know how to win this guy’s heart.
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I seem to have been making a mistake passing by these various and sundry poetry contributions. Today I stopped and it was as if I opened a canvas bag and out tumbled jewels of every color and description. Mistake corrected! Thank you for your contribution — these are wonderful.
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Love the dialect — reading it and figuring it out help keep my mind agile and helps me appreciate the cultural diversity both within the story and between the story and me.
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There is a touch of Piers Anthony (Crewel Lye: A Caustic Yarn) and a whiff of Woody Allen (The Whore of Mensa) along with a huge dose of your originality in this retelling. Nice.
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Dad’s I Found A Brother!
starboardtack commented on Dahawk's story chapter in Dad’s I Found A Brother!
It is great to have this story back! This is a whirlwind of a start and I am having the same problem I had at the close of the previous book. You have so many characters and relationships that it would be helpful to have a cast of characters or genogram of some sort to help us (well me) concentrate on the story rather that constantly try to remember who is who, who is related to who and who is doing who (sorry about that last one.) Whether you provide that or not, you have a follower here. -
I started thinking that I would read a chapter or two, it would become formulaic and predictable, and I would quit. Just the opposite has happened— I am utterly hooked. This is a jewel, an unexpected delight! Each scene is fresh, crisp, and intriguing. The twists and turns are brilliant. Great imagination and great writing.
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Happily Ever After, Ltd
starboardtack commented on Richie Tennyson's story chapter in Happily Ever After, Ltd
There is a touch of Piers Anthony’s “Crewel Lye — A Caustic Yarn” about this: The way the frames are reshaped, cracked or fractured. This is fun. -
Great — love how it is all unraveling
