William's Love - 31. Chapter 31

Deep Breaths and Sight Seeing

“Morning gorgeous,” Liam said quietly to me.

“Hey,” I answered him and lifted my finger to trace the outline of his face, so handsome, “Love you so much,”

“Me too, Honey.”Liam’s smile was warm and loving. “I have to go to the gallery this morning, the woman said I’ll be four or five hours and again tomorrow. Can you promise me you’ll call our psychologist, I don’t want to have to bring out the big guns to make sure you do,” Liam said with concern.

I looked over Liam’s shoulder then turned to lie on my back, “I promise,” I said sheepishly staring at the ceiling. He moved across and laid his cheek on my chest looking up at me. “I will, I promise,” I could feel my face flush with humiliation. Liam cupped the side of my face, “Babe, there is nothing to feel embarrassed about, it’s been a hellish year, the scales seem to tip from incredibly fantastic to extremely awful then back again in the blink of an eye. We barely have time to catch our breath and deal with it. There doesn’t appear to have been a middle ground for us, where we had time to just cruise boringly along. It’s breaking my heart to see you struggle. I love you so much, please do this for me, for yourself.”

I stroked my fingers through his hair, “I promise you, I will. Maybe I should see her one-on-one for a while.” I said thinking out loud, continuing my thought with, “I’m sorry I’ve hurt you.”

“Oh my love,” Liam whispered and moved over the top of me, so we were eye-to-eye and kissed me affectionately. “Everything is going to turn out fine, you’ll see. We just need a little help right now. There’s no shame in that.” Liam finished, rubbing his thumb across my cheek and I gave him a weak smile.

He grinned back at me, “That’s my sweet boy. Now get your gorgeous ass out of bed and get in the shower with me so I can thoroughly inspect your naughty bits and make sure they're clean.”

I chuckled and lazily made my way to the shower.

<>-<>-<>

Liam left for the gallery when I was on the phone to our psychologist’s office making a time for her to call me back as there was no urgency, but I did need to speak with her today. The receptionist said she would call me at around one-fifteen this afternoon. There was a quiet knock on the door and a pause then Mom walked in.

“You ready to go Momma? I forgot to ask Liam if there was anywhere he didn’t mind us going without him, so I thought if you like we could do some girly clothes shopping for you. And maybe they’ll have some funky shops to find something for Lee.” I said.

“Are you sure? Actually, don’t answer that,” Mom said putting her hand up as if to stop me. “It will be nice to have someone to shop with for a change. I’m going to be gracious and say thank you, Will, that would be lovely. But we will need nourishment to keep us going, so breakfast first.”

“Great sounds yummy,” I grabbed my wallet and phone putting them in the pocket of my Levi’s, I put my hand out in gesture, “Lead on Momma,” I said laughing.

I took Mom to breakfast. She was none too happy that I paid. I told her to “get over it,” it’s not like I bought her a car. Enough said I guessed when she didn’t have a comeback. It was slow going at first. Mom wandered around feeling the fabrics, umming and ahhing. We finally came to a place, her eyes lit up. I think we spent two hours in there. I was her gopher and consultant. I really have no fashion sense, didn’t really get that gene. But I do know what looks nice at least if someone’s already wearing it. So I roped one of the sales ladies into helping us, she was great, she seemed to enjoy our banter and had the patience of a saint. Her name was Danni, and working her way through school. Danni was studying to be a lawyer, and her scholarships didn’t cover all of her costs so she worked as much as she could. Lovely girl.

“Is Kit your Mom?” she asked while we were waiting for Mom to try on her fiftieth outfit.

“Sort of, mother-in-law,” I said smiling, that didn’t hurt to say, so that can’t be what upset me last night.

Danni frowned at me, “I thought she only had a son?”

I chuckled, “She does, my husband.” I pulled my phone out to show her a picture of Liam.

She screwed up her face, “What a shame,”

I chortled, “What?”

“You’re both so gorgeous, it’s not fair when you have the personality to match the looks and then go and fall in love with each other, us girls get stuck with the leftover creepy assholes.” She said and gave me a fake pouty face. “How old are you anyway, you don’t look old enough to be married?”

“We’re seventeen, we got married last weekend. Our parents had signed the consent forms before one of us got pregnant out of wedlock.” I laughed.

“Oh, you,” she said gently hitting my arm, “You don’t have any single straight friends, do you?”

“Um… Well, there’s Oliver,” I showed her a picture, “But he and his girlfriend just had a baby, which my husband seems to think is his.” I said laughing and told her what happened before we left for the airport yesterday.

“That’s hilarious,” she said laughing, “so what brings you to town, I’m assuming you’re not on your honeymoon.”

“My husband has a show at a gallery here, it opens next week. You should come, if you like photography that is, I can put your name on the list for the opening with a plus one. Liam won’t mind.”

“Oh my God, it just clicked. Are you talking about Liam Sands? That’s your husband?” She grabbed my forearm in excitement.

I nodded my head “Yes,” and smiled.

“This is so cool, they’ve been plugging his show all over town. One of my girlfriends Jilly is a photographer, she’ll just die if I can get her in for the opening. He won the National Geographic photo competition the picture with the alligator right?” She bounced in anticipation, “Could you really get us on the list?”

“I’ll send a text now, what is your full name and your friend’s,” I asked handing her my phone, so she could put them in the message, and I worked with their names.

“Thank you so much, this is going to be great.” Danni seemed very excited.

Mom walked out of the dressing room, I screwed up my face. “No Mom… just no! You are a petite woman, and that makes you look frumpy.”

Danni smacked me on the arm, her eyes bulging, “You can’t say that to a woman.” She walked over to Mom and made her turn around so she could look at her properly, “I’m afraid Mr. Tactless over there is right, it’s definitely not the right outfit for you. We have something in a similar tone, and the material is just as light, but it’s a dress instead of a top and skirt. Would you like to try it instead? This divides your body all wrong, thus giving you the appearance of frumpy since the offensive word is already out there.” Danni smiled warmly at Mom.

Mom gave her a look of uncertainty, “Sorry Mom, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. You always look beautiful and that color suits you, try on the dress what have you got to lose.” I said moving toward her giving a hug and kissing her cheek.

“Alright then, why not. Thank you, Danni.” Mom smiled and went back to the dressing room, and Danni went to find the dress. She fluttered back to us and handed the dress through a gap in the curtain. Then turned on me with daggers.

“Don’t say anything,” I said waving my hand across in front of my body, “I already feel like a royal ass. I love that woman and would never want to hurt her. She’s the only Mom I’ve ever had.” My phone started ringing, and I looked at who was calling. It was my psychologist. Hmmm, good timing.

“Mom I’m just stepping out, I have to take this. Just give me a minute I want to see the dress on you.” I called out.

“Go ahead my sweet boy,” Mom called back.

I left the shop to have my conversation. I told my psychologist what happened last night at dinner, she was concerned with me being so far away. I could feel the panic rise in me as I was talking, especially after what I just did to Mom. She walked me through an exercise to help curb the panic and calm myself, which was helpful right now. Thank God for small miracles it’s working. I asked if this is normal as things did seem to be getting better. She told me not to dwell on it, I’ll only work myself up. Sometimes things get worse before they get better and it’s not surprising with how much we had to work through. It’s a minor setback, and things will get back on track. She’s told me to concentrate on what’s in front of me right now. I’ve also been set to see her alone while Liam is away to work on it. And to call her again if anything else further happens. I felt better after talking to her.

I took a deep breath and exhaled, picked my myself up and went into the shop to see Mom. She took one look at me and knew there was a problem. Nothing was said right now, but I knew it would be coming. She had that concerned Mom look on her face. Her and Danni stood from where they were seated Mom still in the dress, she had waited for me.

“Oh Mom, beautiful, you look amazing. That is definitely a thousand times better than that outfit you had on previously. You should wear this to Liam’s Gallery Opening.” The dress was figure hugging without being tight showing off her beautiful womanly figure stopping just above the knee. Mom looked sophisticated and classy, as always. “Those shoes you liked, at the other place, would they go with this outfit?”

“They’d actually be perfect for it.” Mom said with a grin. The only reason she hadn’t bought them was that she didn’t have anything to go with them.

“I saw you had those little hand purses and accessories, do you have one for Mom. Or do we need to get one covered?” I asked.

“Let me see, I’ll be right back,” Danni said with a huge grin.

Mom gave me a quizzical look, “What, between you and Katherine I pay attention. Some of your girly nonsense creeps into my brain,” I said chuckling, “Mom, Danni is right, I was tactless, and I shouldn’t have said what I did…”

“Oh nonsense, my sweet boy. I know I can always count on you for the truth. I know you weren’t being facetious. Don’t think another second about it. I should be saying thank you.” Mom said warmly. That went a little way to placate me a little, I would hate to hurt her. “Baby boy, is everything okay, you’ve been a bit off the past few days.”

I took a deep breath, “No not really, we can talk about it later. Not here.” I stated with a weak smile.

“Fair enough, let me get out of this dress,” Mom said walking back into the dressing room.

“PING!”

From: Liam

Message: Done my sweet husband, I miss you today, and I love you too, Babe.

Turns out Danni did have a purse to match the outfit perfectly. I told her that Liam had contacted me and let me know her and her friend's name is now on the list. She squealed and hugged me, then realized what she had done. Mom and I laughed. Mom also bought the outfit and purse. Then dragged me back to the shop which had the shoes. We decided to stop and have lunch, thank God. Shopping with a woman is tiresome. Being dragged from one place to another and then back to a store you’d already been to. On top of that, you become their pack mule. As we were wandering along looking for a place to have lunch, we stumbled across a whole in the wall t-shirt place. It had all types of shirts from slogans to concert tees. They also did custom makes. You can make your own shirts.

I dragged Mom in there to look for something for Lee. He liked vintage concert tees. At the moment he was into Australian Rock Bands, from the 70’s and 80’s. I spoke with the lady at the counter and told her what I was looking for. She had bright pink hair, shaved down one side. Her outfit was small and short, and I think was supposed to give the illusion of Catholic School Girl uniform but way too tight. Her feet were covered with Doc Martins that laced all the way to her knee, with socks that finished just above the knee. It was cute for an eighteen-year-old I suppose, but she must have been close to thirty. But it seemed to work for her, anyway, she had a couple of them. A band called Cold Chisel and another by the name of Rose Tattoo. I took both because I couldn’t make up my mind. She also recommended a local music shop that would have cd’s to complement the shirts.

I asked the girl if they also did baby clothes, she smiled and nodded her head, “Yes, we can do just about anything. We can even drop ship it if you like.”

“Fantastic,” I ordered a onsie for Noah. It said ‘Cute as my Uncle Will’ on the front and ‘Almost as cute as my Uncle Liam’ on the back. I had it delivered home and addressed to Noah.

I made Mom come with me to the music store, I managed to get a Best of CD for both bands as well as two other CD’s a group called The Angels and one called The Radiators. Australians have very unusual band names. I know he could probably download them but what’s the fun in that. They were both available on Vinyl also, but that was way too expensive. Vinyl is really for collectors anyway. Mom stopped me from spending any more money on Lee. “You spoil that boy,” Mom said sternly, but I could see a small smile on her face.

“I can’t help it, I missed out on growing up with him. I like to give him things he wants. You guys make sure he has everything he needs. It’s not that big of a deal. Besides he’s my little brother, aren’t I suppose to spoil him a little.”

Mom rolled her eyes at me and slipped her arm through the crook of my arm as we walked along.

<>-<>-<>

Liam had already left for the gallery, we’d had room service together for breakfast. We were meeting him this afternoon to go sightseeing and Mom wanted to meet an old college friend for brunch, so I was lazily reading a book in bed. My phone rang, and it was Dad.

“Hi Dad,” I said brightly.

“Son, I’ve just spoken with Kit. Why didn’t you tell me you were struggling?” Dad sounded upset, not angry, but honestly, hurt and sad. Damn Mom. After shopping yesterday we went to lunch, and she had me spill my guts.

I ran my finger over the pattern on my PJ bottoms, “I feel ashamed and embarrassed,” I said quietly into the phone after a pause to gather myself, “I’ve been trying to handle it, we’ve been seeing a psychologist,” I said.

“That must be costing you a fortune, you know my insurance will cover you,” Dad informed me.

“We’re okay,”

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry I should have kept a closer eye on you. Maybe you and Liam should come home for a while. Just until you feel like yourself again.” He said hopefully.

“Dad you have a full house, I spoke with our psychologist yesterday. She’s given me some exercises to use when I feel myself starting to panic. She helped me work out a couple of my triggers, it will get better,” I told him, I wish he wouldn’t worry.

“What are the triggers?” Dad asked.

“For some reason, it’s anything to do with that woman who gave birth to me. Another is the guilt I apparently feel over everything that has happened to Liam. Everyone keeps telling me it’s not my fault, but the actions of others. None of which I could have stopped or changed, because I didn’t even know what they were doing or have any indication there was a problem. Well except for that woman, but you can’t predict a crazy person’s actions only stay away, which is what we did. The doctor keeps assuring me even a restraining order wouldn’t have helped because she never did anything directly in person. But my head just can’t seem to come around, even though I am aware they’re right.”

“Oh son, that’s truly awful. I wish I could take it all away.” I could hear the emotion in Dad’s voice.

“People keep hurting Liam to hurt me, I can’t work out what I did to be such a horrible… horr…” I started crying.

“Come now Will, please don’t cry Son. You’re not a horrible person. You are kind, loving and selfless. You have a healthy amount of confidence usually. You aren’t responsible for what others do Will, that’s on them.” Dad croaked out.

“I should probably get in the shower, Liam will be back soon we’re going sightseeing,” I said deflated.

“Don’t let them break you, Will, I want you to start fighting back. Push back twice as hard. Show them you’re a force to be reckoned with. They’ve chosen the wrong people to fuck with. It might help you start to feel like you again. You’re not broken, just a little bruised. Take back the control, I’ll bet that will kick start your recovery from the place you feel you’re trapped. You have a whole extended family of support. Every single one of them will be behind you. They’ll prop you up, dust you off and send you in again. Now get to it, chop, chop.” Dad said with an angry but confident voice.

“Language Dad,” I chortled and sniffled. “Where would I even start?” I asked.

“Start with your lawyer, I’ll speak to Callen, see if he can’t find you someone other than the guy you’ve been using. We’ll have to pay, but it will be worth it. I’ll even break my trust to do it. Have the lawyer contact the FBI and start getting all of that mess sorted. See what we can do about your Mother, maybe we can work on the deals that have been made. We have no loyalty to her, and we owe her nothing. Right now all I want you to worry about is yourself, Liam and getting through this week, I’ll take care of the other for the moment. When you get home, it’s team Blundell-Sunderland-Sands,”

“Wow, that’s a mouthful. Okay, thanks, Dad. I love you, I’m glad Mom blabbed. Give Papi and Lee a hug for me and tell them I love and miss them. I better go. Thank you for calling me, I feel better.” I said with a smile in my voice this time.

“You’re welcome, we love and miss you too. We’ll see you soon.” Dad said happily.

Holy shit, maybe I should be paying Dad instead of the psychologist. I feel better than when I spoke with her yesterday.

<>-<>-<>

It had been a couple of days since Dad, and I talked. Liam had the next two days off from the gallery and today is Liam’s Dad’s birthday. We are sitting down to a room service breakfast, and the mood is somber. I’m holding Liam’s hand while he eats. We both had a big cry and cuddle this morning. We miss him so much, I wish he were still here. These two are my favorite people on earth, and I hate that they are hurting. I’ve organized a lunch for them together at a nice restaurant, and they could do whatever they wanted with the reservation, not even go if they didn’t want to but it was there, so they didn’t have to think about it. He was grateful for the time with his Mom.

There’s a knock on the door, we all frowned at each other. I got up from the table, wiped my mouth with a napkin, kissed Liam and put my hand on Mom’s shoulder as I went by her. I expected room service again or a hotel employee but, no, three smiling faces bowled through the opening. Mom got up and went straight to Dad, and her emotions got the better of her. She sobbed into Dad’s shoulder, explaining how happy she is, he and Papi were here. Liam had tears in his eyes while he hugged the stuffing out of Lee, and I reached out for Papi.

“What are you all doing here?” I asked smiling.

“Well, it’s William’s birthday, and if he were still with us, we’d all be celebrating together. Doesn’t seem like a need to change that. We all carry him in our hearts everywhere we go. I say let’s do him proud, and show him the sights of Washington.” Dad said with a big smile on his face.

Liam started crying, I pulled him into the bedroom quickly and closed the door then into my arms. I rubbed his back and gently held his head to me, “Are you okay my sweet boy?”

“I was worried I wouldn’t get through today, and the minute your Dad stepped in the room I knew it would be okay. It kind of makes me feel guilty for missing my Dad less.” Liam muttered into my neck while he fingered the collar of my shirt.

“I’m not sure you miss him less Baby, I think it’s just Dad. He makes us feel safe and loved, we need that sometimes, we’re still young even though we believe that we’re grown up.” I kissed the top of his head, “Are you going to be okay, did you want to wash your face before you come back out?”

“Yes please, I’ll meet you out there. Thank you, I’m so glad you picked me to marry.” He said with a sad smile.

“It’s your own fault, you made it, so you were the only choice,” I chuckled, “you’re stuck with me now.”

“Good, you’re all I’ve ever wanted and all I will ever want,” Liam said kissing me gently, “I love you so much.”

I kissed him back, “I love you too, Baby. I’ll see you back out there.”

I left Liam to clean himself up and went back to the common room. I sought Lee out and gave him a big hug. “Ooh, Liam, Mom and I got you something,” I said going back to the bedroom. Liam was walking out holding the bag with Lee’s stuff in it.

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to wait,” Liam chuckled as he went to hand me that bag, I indicated he give it to Lee himself. While I put my arm around Liam’s waist.

Lee looked at Dad and Papi like he was asking permission, “Go on Son, what did you get?” Dad asked while he had his arms around Mom’s waist to comfort her. She had her head resting on his shoulder. I love that they’re all so close.

“H o l y m o l e y,” Lee elongated his words as he held the t-shirts up for all to see. His eyes popping from his head, “how did you know about these bands?” Lee said excitedly.

“We’re smarter than you think? There’s more in the bag,” Liam said smiling, looked at me and winked. I smirked at him. At least that cheered Liam up a little. Even Mom looked a little amused, she was trying to put on a brave front. She’s a superwoman, that one. The strongest person I know.

Lee pulled out the CD’s and just about lost his mind. I couldn’t keep up with his words, he was more than a little-excited. He flipped off the shirt he was wearing and exchanged it for one we had just given him. I saw everyone’s face fall when we saw the scars on his body, a constant reminder of his past. We tried not to let him see we noticed them. He’s very self-conscious usually. But maybe he’s getting more comfortable with us.

“How does it look,” he said holding it away from his body trying to look at it.

“Looks great,” Papi said hugging him.

Lee came over to Liam and I and hugged us together, “Thank you so much, you are the best big brothers ever,” Lee’s smile radiating happiness.

Then he shocked us all, he went barrelling over to Mom and hugged her tightly, “Thanks, Mom.” Lee said. Mom cried because that’s what Mom’s do when us kids make them proud and happy.

Lee pulled back, he looked frightened, “Sorry,” he said quietly.

Mom pulled him back into her arms, “Don't apologize, my sweet boy. You just made my day… year even. I love that you think of me that way.”

“So I can call you Mom?” he asked cautiously.

“I’d love nothing more,” Mom said kissing his cheek. Lee’s face beamed with pride and happiness, and so was Liam’s when I casually looked sideways. Well, today is turning out much better than I’d hoped.

“How about we ditch this room service and take these boys to Freddie’s Beach Bar for breakfast?” Mom said with a little more pep than she had earlier.

“Hell yes, you guys are going to love this place,” Liam said clapping his hands together. I know we enjoyed the other night. Mom giggled at Liam’s enthusiasm.

“Just let me get my purse, and we’ll get going?” Mom said leaving for her bedroom.

<>-<>-<>

Tonight is Liam’s big night, he looks fantastic in his tux. I love seeing him naked, but there’s something mouth watering about seeing him in a Tuxedo, and it makes my knees weak.

“See something you like, Will?” Papi asked me smirking and handing me a glass of champagne. I nodded my head unable to talk with my throat all dry. I took a sip, ahh, that’s better. We were all standing in the common room of our suite. Papi, Dad, and Lee had arrived about ten minutes ago with a bottle of Dom under Dad’s arm.

Dad stood next to Liam, “Liam, you have always made us proud, and tonight is no different. We’re honoured to share in your big night with you. Here is to you and your talent taking you places you’ve never even imagined. We hope you enjoy the journey, this is just the beginning Son.” Dad held his glass up, “To Liam!” Dad said smiling, a proud father.

We all raised our glasses, “To Liam!” we all said and drank the champagne.

Liam came over and kissed me softly on the lips and slipped his arm around my waist, “I just want to thank you Mom and Will for coming with me this past week. And for you three coming out and sharing this with me. Dad, your timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I had no idea how I would get through Dad’s birthday without him here. But when I saw you walk through the door, I felt relieved and guilty all at the same time. Guilty because having you in my life makes me miss Dad less, you both share a lot of the same qualities and characteristics and helps me when I miss him. It’s like he’s still here. Amazingly you found a man – you Papi – who makes up what you are missing that was the make up of my Dad. Between you both, it’s like I have my Dad back most of the time and helps me deal with him not being here. I’m so grateful I have you.” Liam said with tears in his eyes.

I looked at Mom, “I agree with Liam, you’ve both made our loss more bearable,” Mom said smiling, “We can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for us.” She gave Papi a hug and kiss on the cheek and then did the same with Dad.

Liam did the same, they both whispered something in his ear, it made him smile as he wiped his eyes. I put my arm around Lee and gave him a side hug. “I’m so happy I’m part of this family now,” Lee said quietly.

“Not as happy as we are to have you, little brother,” I leaned and whispered in his ear, “your little butt is the one that completes our family,” I kissed his temple.

PING! CHOO CHOO! DING! DING! MEOW! DING!

All our phones went at once.

From: Kat

Pic: Noah in his onesie that I ordered last week when I went shopping with Mom. She’d sent a picture of him from the front and back so we could see the whole outfit.

Message: Seriously Will, I know this was you! And congratulations and good luck tonight Liam. We love you!

“Will, you didn’t?” Dad said laughing.

I scoffed, “Of course not I’m way cuter than Liam.”

Liam wrapped his arm around my neck and turned me until I was facing him “Yeah, you are,” he said biting my bottom lip then licking it. I rubbed our hips together, grabbing his waist. Seems we forgot anyone else was there. Must be the champagne. Oh, how I love this man, who cares about anything else when I have him.

“Okay!” Dad said clapping his hands together, “the Limo is here, we better head out before this gets pornographic and we’re all scarred for life.” Liam and I pulled back laughing. That definitely broke the spell.

Liam’s phone made that damn CHOO! CHOO! Noise all the way to the gallery. I really have to change that damn alert tone. Liam not taking any notice answering all of his messages. He passed me his phone, Alex had sent him a picture of Benny in his Batman onesie holding a sign saying “Good luck Liam,”

“Aww! How cute is that.” I said, they left to go back home yesterday. Kat ended up looking after Benny and Haley with the help of Seb and Beau so Dad, Papi, and Lee could fly out as soon as they could. Lee opted out of going to the race with them, and Oliver went in his place at Kat’s insistence. I don’t think Lee felt comfortable with people he didn’t really know.

The Limo pulled up in front of the gallery, which was lit up nicely. It had all the fanfare. One of those big lights that shoot into the sky, a carpet going from the sidewalk to the gallery with the ropes either side. A few people had gathered around them, I guess in case they got to see someone famous. This whole thing seems a lot bigger deal than I thought it would be. While the family was exiting the limo, I pulled Liam to me for a quick hug and kiss before we got out.

“Good luck tonight Honey, I’m so proud of you. You deserve this, are you nervous? You seem nervous,” I could feel him quivering a little.

“No Baby, I’m not, you’re just turning me on in that tux,” He chuckled, and we exited the limo, once we standing on the carpet he turned to me, “remember you love me, and please don’t be mad. I love you more than life it’s self, my Husband,” with that he kissed me on the lips and pulled me gently holding my hand toward the entrance, where the rest of my family had stopped and were all looking to the left, eyes gaping.

I titled my head, “Why would I be mad at you?” I said as we walked through the door of the gallery and looked in the same direction.

FUCK!!