Daydreamers - 15. Chapter 15

The night I came out to my parents, I felt horrible. I came out way before I was ready and the feeling in the gut that it was giving me was completely horrible. I didn't really want to talk to anyone, but everyone kept coming up to me and telling me how great it was that I came out so my brothers wouldn't have to. All I wanted to do was lock myself in my room, sit in the dark, and never come out.

I was finally alone for a good amount of time when Tyler and Julian left for the theater. It was good time for me to really think about what I was gonna do next now that I was officially out to my family. But that alone time didn't last for long. I got a knock on my door.

"Go away!" I hollered.

"Honey," it was my mom. "Honey, please let me come in."

"I just want to be alone."

"We need to talk, Sam. Please."

"I don't want to talk. Please, I just want to be left alone!" She came in anyway. "Didn't I tell you I want to be alone?"

"Sam, I just want to tell you that I love you...whoever you are or whoever you love, I still love you."

"Okay, you said it, now go."

"What you did for your brother; that was a very nice thing. I'm sure he appreciates it."

I forgot that she only knows about Tyler and not Alex. "Yeah, well...it wasn't so nice for me. I wasn't ready."

"I understand."

"What about dad? Is he mad?" I asked. I know I didn't want to talk, but I figured I'd ask since she was already in my room. She stood awkwardly at the door.

"He's - He's not too happy. But he'll come around. He's just gotta get used to it."

"Wait until he finds out about Tyler. He'll really blow a gasket then."

"We'll handle that when the time comes." She paused and shifted her wait. "How are you doing?"

"Not good, mom; but I don't want to talk about it. Please, just leave."

"There's dessert; apple pie. It's your favorite."

"Yeah, I'm not really up for dessert right now, mom. But thanks anyway."

"I love you," she said in a soft, concerned tone.

"I love you, too."

My mom left the room and I stayed sulking in my room until Tyler got home. He came in with a giant smile on his face and he fell back joyfully onto his bed. He sighed. I just put my head back onto my pillow and kept sulking.

"What's wrong Sammy? It's such a wonderful night!"

"Not for me," I mumbled.

"Sam, what's wrong; seriously."

"I wasn't ready, Tyler. That's what's wrong. I wasn't ready to tell them."

"You shouldn't have done it, then. Alex and I would've been fine. You're the sensitive one; not us."

"I just couldn't sit there and watch while Ryan bashed you two. I had to do something and I couldn't think of anything else."

"I'm sorry, Sam. I wish there was something that I could do." He sat in thought. "I know!"

"What?"

"I'll come out too."

"Oh no you won't."

"Why not? It's perfect. Then all the heat won't be on just you."

"NO! Then I would be going through all of this shit for nothing. No, you come out when you're ready."

"Who said I wasn't? Mom already knows. I've just gotta go out there and tell dad before he leaves for work again."

I was seriously pissed. Did I really just come out for no reason at all? I wanted to punch Tyler in the face.

Then again, he never said he wasn't ready to come out. That was always my issue; not his. Maybe I really was ready to come out. If I wasn't, why did I do it? If I wasn't, I would've never had the guts to yell it out not matter what was happening to Alex and Tyler. I wonder if Alex is ready. If he isn't, at least I spared one of my brothers from humiliation.

"Is Alex here?"

"I didn't see him downstairs. Maybe he's in his room."

"I'll see him tomorrow," I said.

And I did see him. I never left the room all night. I didn't see the rest of the house, in fact, until had to leave to go to the bathroom. That's where I ran into Julian. He had a towel around his waist and he was a bit wet. When I saw I ran into him, I mean that literally. He's a bit shorter than me, so his face ran into my chest. He fell back onto the floor, knocking his towel loose. He quickly retied it, but I did get a glance at the goods. Tyler sure is lucky. If it's that big normally, I can imagine how big it is hard. I gave him a hand to help him up.

"I'm so sorry," I said.

"It's cool. Sorry for the show."

"Hey, I'm not complaining." He smiled and looked down. I could see his cheeks turn red. "So, did you like the theater?"

"Yeah, it was a cool little hang out," said Julian. "When did you guys fix it up?"

"A couple years ago; we don't go there as often anymore."

"Maybe I should get dressed," said Julian.

We awkwardly walked past each other. I never thought talking with Julian would be that awkward. It was something that came out of left field.

When I looked into the bathroom mirror, there were bags under my eyes that definitely weren't there yesterday. Shit, I knew I spent way too much time tossing and turning.

Well, I spent a good amount of time brushing my teeth and washing my face. Then, I closed and locked the door to get in the shower. While I was in the shower, all I could think of was my dad, which was sort of weird, but he was on my mind. When he didn't have to work so much, our relationship was actually pretty good. I was just worried that my dad would hate me forever.

When I walked into my room, Tyler was still sleeping and my phone was vibrating on the futon. I ran to answer it with one hand on my towel to keep it on my waist. It was Travis. I wasn't sure if I was ready to talk to him after my coming out debacle. I didn't want my mom and dad to not only deal with the fact that I'm gay, but also have to deal with my potential boyfriend. I didn't answer.

I walked to my clothes and slipped boxers on under my towel. I dropped the towel to the floor and started looking through the closet to find a shirt to wear. When I found my blue and black plaid shirt, I laid it out on the futon. Then I grabbed a white t-shirt from the folded pile of clothes I was living out of since my quick move to Tyler's room. I got my black jeans from the pile next to it. When, I finished dressing, I saw that Travis had left a message on my phone. I dialed my voicemail and started to listen carefully.

"Hey Sulli, it's me; Travis. Well, I guess you're still asleep. I just wanted to see if you were up to going to the lake with me later on. I feel like a swim. Anyway, just give me a call back when you can."

I smiled and felt a blush. Just hearing his voice made my entire body tingle like crazy and my heart beat super fast. I hung up the phone and thought about dialing him back, but I still wasn't ready. He would probably somehow talk me into going over to see him and if he didn't then he would probably just show up at the front door anyway. I decided just to go downstairs and hope that I don't run into my mom, which was unlikely.

I walked downstairs and Julian was sitting on the couch watching television. I didn't see Ryan, so I assumed they weren't the best of friends at the moment. I don't see Julian liking what Ryan had done. I sat next to Julian since I couldn't sit in the kitchen. That's where my mother most likely was. I smelled bacon coming from there.

If you can believe it, it was even more awkward sitting next to him than it was earlier when I crashed into him. We didn't talk. He just kept flipping through the channels. He stopped at the morning news. It was completely boring, but it kept my mind off how awkward this feeling was between us.

Luckily Tyler came downstairs. He was in the clothes he slept in and his eyes were all puffy, but he was still a relief. He snuck in a kiss with Julian and then sat next to me.

"Are you guys seriously watching the news? How boring is that? Give me the remote."

Julian handed Tyler the remote. He started switching channels and rested on a rerun of Viva La Bam.

"So, what's going on today? What're we going to do?" asked Tyler.

"I don't know. What do you wanna do?" I asked.

"Let's go to the pool and oogle at the lifeguards," said Tyler.

"I think that out of the question, Ty," I said.

"But they're so hot," said Tyler.

"Hey," said Julian with a smirk.

"I'm just kidding around. This is boring. We've gotta do something."

"I've always wanted to go camping in the summer. Why don't we plan a trip?" Julian asked.

"You've never been camping in the summer?" Tyler asked.

"No. My family isn't a real quality time spending type of family."

"We should go to Twin Lakes," I suggested.

"Ooh, yeah! I think you'll like it there, Julian," said Tyler.

Twin Lakes is a pair of lakes that are connected. It's located just outside of a little town called Bridgeport here in California. The camp grounds around the lakes are surrounded by mountains and it's covered with pine trees. It's the perfect camping spot. Perfect.