Daydreamers - 17. Chapter 17

"I'm sorry I forgot to call you back," I said as Travis and I walked down our street; Honeysuckle Drive. "I've been really distracted since last night."

"Did something happen?" Travis asked.

"I came out," I put it as simply as I could.

"Oh," he paused. "I guess it didn't go well then?"

"Not really. My dad really freaked out."

"Are you okay?"

"Not really. I'm not really sure if I was actually ready to do it."

"Why did you?"

"Ryan was being a real douche bag during dinner. He was about to our AJ and Ty and, and I wasn't sure if they were ready or not, so I stopped him by coming out for myself."

Travis and I just walked through the town. We ended up at the lake. As we talked, I started to pick up stones and throw them into it. We talked about our families and we talked about what kind of music we liked and movies and almost anything you can think of. It was almost as if we were skating around what we really wanted to talk about.

"So, are you really sure that you want to come camping with us?" I asked.

"Yeah, I...I want to spend more time with you...if-if that's okay with you."

"I-I just don't know if I'm ready for all of this, Travis. I just came out and-and it's all new to me."

Travis started to look around and so did I. Once he saw that no one was around he moved closer to me. He took my hand and held my fingertips.

"I really like you, Sam. So, if you need time; I'm willing to wait."

"Really?" I couldn't believe he said that. "Why?"

"Because you're worth the wait to me, Sam, that's why." He looked me straight in the eye and held my entire hand now. "I've never felt for anyone what I've felt for you."

I had to pull away, but I wanted to take it back as soon as I saw the look on his face. He was so hurt that it made me want to cry.

"I'm sorry, Travis. I just don't think I'm ready for all of this. I really like you. I just don't know how to do this and not freak out inside. I think you deserve better than a scared guy that's barely one step out of the closet."

"I want YOU, Sam. There's no one better than you for me. So, I'm telling you that if you want to wait, I will wait."

"Travis, did you ever think about what's supposed to happen when you go back to LA. What's supposed to happen to me then if we get together?"

"I don't know, Sam. All I know is that there hasn't been a day that I've been here where I don't think about you at least once. That's got to mean something."

It was like he was reading my thoughts. Every since he got here, I can't think of anyone else. I think of him when I wake up. I think of him right before I go to sleep. I even dreamed about him once or twice. He really does deserve better than me, but if he wants to wait for me, I'm not going to stop him.

"Okay, if you wanna wait for me...I'm gonna stop you, but I can't promise anything."

He smiled. "I bet you can promise me one thing."

"And what's that?" I asked.

"Promise me you'll always be incredibly adorable?"

I blushed. "Travis..." I whined.

"What? Now that's a promise you can keep. Trust me. You'll never stop being adorable to me."

He put his hand on my waist. I knew I shouldn't let him, but I didn't have the strength to push him away. His touch was like muscle relaxer to me. It made me all wobbly and dizzy. As I was in this trance, I pulled him in close to me and kissed him softly. After the kiss, Travis looked at me with a smirk.

"So, are you still not ready to be with me?" he asked.

"You make it hard to be scared and insecure, you know that?"

"Look, I know what it's like to be just coming out and not really knowing who you are or what you want. You just have to let me help you, Sam."

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was a text. I sighed when I read it.

"I have to go. Kyle has a soccer game and I have to take him."

"Can I come with you?"

Wow, I couldn't believe he asked me that. I really wanted to say yes. I mean, I really wanted to say yes. But I wasn't sure if Kyle would like that. He made it no secret that he didn't like the fact that I'm gay. He probably wouldn't like it very much if I bring my quasi boyfriend to his game. But this moment, the only word that I could say to Travis was:

"Yes. I want you to come." I smiled and hugged him. "I can't think of anything better."

"Great," said Travis. "I was hoping you would say that."

I let go of him. "But we have to go now or we're gonna make Kyle late."

We quickly walked back to my house. We didn't necessarily run or walk fast. We just got there as quick as we could. When we got there, Kyle was already ready to go.

"Let's go or I'm gonna be late," Kyle complained.

"Okay, I'm here. Let's go," I said.

We got into my car. Kyle was put off by Travis getting into the front - the spot that he usually sat in. He was silent on the way to the park.

"So Kyle, how long have you been playing soccer?" Travis asked.

"What do you care?" Kyle snapped right away.

"Hey," I quickly looked back at him and then back at the road. "Don't talk to him like that. Mom and dad taught us better than that."

"Whatever, just hurry up; I'm gonna be late."

"You know, I don't have to take you to these games. You could just walk. Now, if this is about the gay thing again, then you need to take it out on me - not Travis."

"I just wanna know one thing. Did this guy make you like this Sam?" Kyle asked very seriously.

"No, of course not Kyle; it doesn't work like that." I said.

"But you're like, together right?" Kyle asked.

"Kyle what's this about?"

"I just don't understand that's all." We reached the park and Kyle opened the car door. "Look, you guys don't have to stay. I'll get a ride home from one of my friends or something."

"But I always stay to see you play."

"Yeah, that was when I actually wanted you to stay. That was when I knew you were my brother. I don't even know who you are anymore."

Kyle just got out of the car and walked away. I wanted to cry, but I obviously couldn't in front of Travis. I didn't want him to think I was a total spaz. But I was visibly upset and he knew it.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I know that you and Kyle were close."

"He'd be like a son to me if he wasn't already my brother. I practically raised him." I found myself sniffing. It was hard fighting my tears.

"Sam, you can cry if you want. I know it's eating you up inside."

I finally let my tears fall and Travis patted my back. He couldn't hug me with the divider in the middle of the car. It wasn't a hysterical cry. It was more of I just lost a friend cry. It was calm and quiet with a few sniffles here and there.

"I j-just don't know wh-what to d-do," I hiccupped as I tried to get my point across.

"He'll come around, Sam. You just need to give him some time."

I wiped my tears and grabbed a tissue from the center console to blow my nose. I didn't want to go home and let my family see me like this and I couldn't stay here at the park. I had to think of someplace to go and quick. That's when I thought of our theater hang out.

"Wanna go somewhere with me?" I asked Travis.

"Do you even have to ask me that?" He asked back smartly. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," I said as I started the car again. I started to drive in the direction of the theater. It was a little bit outside of town. I could see on Travis' face that he was wondering where we were going.

When I pulled up to the old theater that looks like a complete dump from the outside, he scrunched his face up. I got out of the car and he got out with me. He looked up and down and around at the theater and didn't say a word.

I took his hand and led him inside. It was really hot outside, so inside of the theater was practically scorching. I had a plaid shirt on and it was getting pretty hot, so I took it off - revealing the white t-shirt that I had under it. It was damp with sweat. I tied my shirt around my waist.

I took Travis' hand again as we started up the stairs to the old projection room. There were framed posters of old movies on the wall beside the stairs. The posters were faded and the frames were cracked and dusty. Travis still hadn't said a word, but his head was moving in every direction - taking in all that was around him. When we finally reached the projection room that my brothers and I had fixed up, Travis smiled.

"You fixed this room up?" He asked.

"Yeah, me and Ty and AJ," I answered. "We used to hang out here a lot, but not anymore. I don't really know why."

"It's really cool," he said. He bounced onto the couch and I sat next to him. He put his hand on my abs.

"I'm sorry that I'm all sweaty," I said in embarrassment.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I don't know," I smiled.

Travis just looked at me, smiled and then kissed me. Somehow, his tongue ended up in my mouth and I liked it. We sat on the couch, kissing and feeling each other's bodies and I suddenly felt really confident.

I led Travis to lie down on the couch, placing myself on top of him. We kissed in this position for a while, but I didn't care. I could stay like this forever, but that was too much to ask. Tyler and Julian soon came into the room. Tyler was singing my name. I quickly got off Travis.

"Oh, don't we have the worst timing ever?" Ty asked.

"Why are you always doing that?" I asked.

"Just lucky, I guess," said Ty.

"We'll go somewhere else," said Julian.

"Like where?" Ty asked. "There's nowhere else to go."

"They were here first, Tyler," said Julian.

"Wait, can we at least talk about the camping trip before we leave?" Ty asked.

He walked into the room and squeezed his behind between Travis and me on the couch. Julian smiled and sat on a chair.

"Okay, so I talk to mom about it and she said that it was cool if we wanted to go."

"Great," I said.

"But there's a catch," said Julian.

"What?" I asked.

"Ryan has to come," said Ty.

I was mortified. Why would Ryan have to come? I'm almost an adult. Why couldn't I be enough supervision?

"Great," I said sarcastically.

"Right, so...do you guys still wanna go?"

"Yeah," said Travis. "We can't let Ryan spoil our fun."

"I agree with Travis," said Julian.

"Well, then I guess we going camping with Ryan," I said. "Ty, you can stay here. Travis and I will go back home. At least there's air conditioning there."

"Yeah, I could see that it was getting pretty hot in here, wasn't it?"

"Shut up, Tyler." I think my whole face turned bright red.

I got up from the sofa and then took Travis by the hand and lifted him off. We walked out of the theater holding hands and got into my car.

"Your brother is hilarious," said Travis.

"No, he's a pain...but I still love him."