Daydreamers - 23. Chapter 23

I can't believe I actually did it. I can't believe I actually had sex. Of course Julian heard the whole thing and couldn't wait to go blabbing to Tyler, who will certainly make my life hell for the next week or so, but I still did it and it was absolutely great. It was so much better than I expected. Then again, I did expect Travis to be the top since he's more experienced and all, but I didn't mind being the top and Travis didn't seem to mind either.

When we finally got back home it was almost a relief. Shockingly, Ryan never said anything about Tyler and Julian to mom. I was sure he was going to go straight to her. But it seemed that even with all of his anger; he's still found it in him to be a brother instead of a bigot.

"How was your trip?" Mom asked as soon as all of us walked through the door.

I'm sure we smelled like smoke and pine needles. She sniffled as soon as we got close. Travis stood beside me and she looked him up and down and then back to all of us.

"You boys need to take showers. You smell like a campsite. Go upstairs and I'll have dinner ready in an hour or so."

"Um, I should go..." said Travis. I think he could tell that my mom was uncomfortable having him there.

"No, stay little while," I said.

"Yeah, Travis, you should stay," said Ty.

"We don't have much more room in this house Tyler," said mom.

"Yeah, I gotta get back to my aunt. She'll probably want to know all about the trip." He smiled at me. "See ya later."

"Wait," I said. I put my hand on his arm and I started to do something that I couldn't stop myself from doing. It was like one of those moments where you see yourself doing something, but you can't really stop it. I brought him to me and pecked him on the lips. "See ya later," I said.

Travis looked around and I saw his cheeks turn red. Tyler's mouth was practically on the floor and Julian had a big smile on his face. Ryan just shook his head and went upstairs. Alex seemed too bummed to have any reaction at all. The room fell silent as Travis left. I looked around at everyone and smirked.

"I'm going upstairs," said Ty.

Everyone followed him and I was just about to, but my mom stopped me. "Hold on there, Sam. Come sit down. I wanna talk to you."

I slowly turned around and my mom was already sitting on the couch. I slinked over and sat next to her. For a few seconds neither of us said anything. We just looked at each other.

"How are you, Sam?" she finally asked.

"I'm okay," I said.

"Just okay?"

"Mom, what is this really about?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"That boy...Travis...he's more than just a friend right?"

"You know the answer to that mom. I told you and dad that...he's my boyfriend." I looked at her disappointed face. "Mom, I just kissed him right in front of you."

"Samuel, this is hard for me, okay. Its one thing to know your child is...gay. It's another to watch him with another boy."

"Mom, Travis makes me happy. I've never been this happy." I couldn't help smiling. "He's who I think of the first thing in the morning and the last one I think of before I sleep. I...love him."

"Love is a complicated thing, Sam. But when it's pure...it's beautiful."

"It's gonna be okay, mom."

She took a deep breath. "I love you no matter what, son. You remember that." She sighed. "And what about Tyler? How is your brother doing?"

I chuckled a little bit. "Mom, if anyone is doing great in this family, it's Tyler."

"Why's that?"

"He's got the Sullivan self-confidence. Being bisexual is probably the last thing on his mind. But if me watching out for him is what you want, then you can count on me."

My mom smiled and gave me a big hug. "Now go take a shower. I could tell you wanted to spend more time with Travis."

"I don't know. We spent all weekend together. He couldn't get out of here fast enough."

"Don't be so stupid, Samuel." She flipped her hair out of her face. "I could see in his face that he cares about you. You've just gotta take things slow. It's new love."

"What about dad?" I asked. "How's he doing with everything?"

"We've been talking nearly every night whether he likes it or not. I think his attitude is improving. He's not as mad about the situation as he used to be, but I wouldn't say he's totally okay with it."

"I saw him the other night, before we left for Twin Lakes," I said. "It was the middle of the night and I had gotten up to get a glass of water. He was in the kitchen just sitting. He couldn't even look at me."

"Give your father some time. You have to understand that he was brought up strictly with stern core values. My parents on the other hand were sort of like hippies before there were hippies."

"I just hope that dad comes around. I really don't want it to be like this for the rest of our lives."

After the talk with my mom, I went up to my room. Tyler and Alex were in there talking. Apparently Julian was in the shower. I sat on my futon where Alex was sitting.

"What're you guys talking about?" I asked.

"Brian," said Tyler.

"Oh," I said. "I think you should forget him."

"No way," said Tyler.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because it's totally love. It's so obvious," said Tyler.

"Ty, Brian told Alex that he has a new boyfriend. You're just setting him up for heartbreak."

"That's bullshit. Brian only got a new boyfriend to make Alex jealous," said Tyler.

"Look, I can see what the both of you are saying. But I just need to take some time to figure out what I want."

"Did you guys already take showers?" I asked. They had changed their clothes.

"Yeah," they both said.

I heard footsteps in the hallway from Julian. I got up to take my shower and when I walked out, I bumped into Julian again. This time he held his towel up.

"Oh shit. Not again. I'm sorry," I said.

"No, no it's not anyone's fault. I just wonder why this keeps happening," said Julian.

The hallway was pretty small so we were pretty close. I could smell his clean sent and his hair was a bit messy and dripping a bit onto the carpet.

"Where's Ryan?" I asked.

"He left," said Julian.

"I was hoping to talk to him."

"I think he just needs some space. I really don't know how we're gonna fix this."

"He's your best friend. I'm sure you'll find a way."

"Would you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your little brother?"

"I don't know. My best friend is a girl and my only straight brother is Kyle and he's a bit young for Delia. Unless you count Tyler because he's bi."

"Well, would you forgive Delia if she slept with Tyler?"

"I don't know if I would be mad if that happened. It would be really weird, but I don't think that could make me so mad that I couldn't talk to her again."

"Hey, what's going on here?" asked Tyler sarcastically, walking into the hall.

"Hey, Ty," I said.

"Hey gorgeous," said Julian to Tyler. Tyler walked up to him and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Aren't you a sexy piece of ass," Tyler stated looking at Julian in his towel.

"Okay, that's about all I can take. I'm taking a shower," I said leaving as quickly as possible. I couldn't take hearing my brother talk like that.

While I was in the shower, I thought I should probably go see Delia. I still haven't told her that I'm gay, much less that I have a boyfriend. I've always had a funny feeling that she likes me, so I've been kind of avoiding telling her for a while now. But I think I don't really need to go see her in order to tell her.

Mark McCall is having a party at his house tonight. Apparently his parents left on a little mid-summer trip this morning. I had gotten a call after my shower from Frank Harmon, a good friend of mine and Delia. He said that Mark was spreading the word around town about a party.

After I hung up with Frank, I walked next door to talk to Travis. I rang the bell and waited patiently for someone to answer. Jared, Travis' cousin answered. He smiled devilishly when he saw me. He's a really short guy so he looked up at me.

"I guess you're here to see my cousin," he said. "I guess I better let you in."

He stepped aside and I walked in. Jared closed the door behind me and called Travis.

"Travis your little boyfriend is here!"

"Who are you calling little, shrimp?" I asked.

He snarled at me and then walked upstairs. I saw Travis walk to the top of the stairs and then look down at me. He smiled a smile that lit up his face. He shuffled quickly down the stairs and straight to me. He put his arm on my hip and kissed me.

"I missed you," he said.

"It's only been half an hour," I said.

"So, I still missed you. Didn't you miss me?"

"Of course," I answered. It was true. I missed him as soon as he left the house. We walked into the living room and sat on the couch. He put his arm around me. I looked at him in that way that said ‘not here'.

"It's cool," he said. "Everyone in this house knows about me and you."

"Really? And they're cool with it?"

"Yeah," he said. "It's even brought me and my uncle closer."

"Really? Who knew," I said. "Look, I came to tell you that there's a party tonight at Mark McCall's house. You wanna go?"

"Yeah, I love parties. It'll give me a chance to meet more people too. What times it starting?"

"Ten," I answered.

"Cool, that sounds really great. I can't wait to party with you."

"Well, I'm not going for the party. I'm going because I'm most likely gonna find Delia there."

"Your mysterious best friend that I haven't met yet."

"Yeah, some best friend I am. I haven't even told her that I'm gay."

"And you're gonna tell her at a party?"

"Yeah, is that not a good idea?"

"No it's not. Baby, you've gotta tell her when it's just you and her in a close moment. It's got to be the right place."

"What if I go tell her now?" I asked. "At her house"

"Yes, that would be much better." He pulled me closer and kissed me cheek.

"I should get this over with now. I'll make myself crazy if I don't do it now."

"You want me to drive you?" he asked.

"No, it's okay. I'll come back and tell you how it went."

"Naw, just call me and I'll come over to yours. If that's okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine," I said. The truth was that I wasn't sure if it was fine. I didn't know how my mom would react to seeing him again. She was okay when I was talking to her, but Travis wasn't there for that.

"Okay," he said.

I got up and he walked me to the door. I opened it and walked out to the porch. I turned around again to say by to him.

"I'll see you later," I said.

"You bet," he said.

He pecked me a kiss while holding onto my shoulders. He looked at me after the kiss. I started to step off, but he tightened his grip.

"Hey," he said. I looked at him. "I love you," he whispered with a smile.

I smiled back at him. "I love you too."

I walked back home and told my mom that I was going to Delia's. I took the keys and drove to Delia's house. It was a one story house with a high ceiling. It's was pretty beautiful, especially inside. It was like a museum or something.

I knocked on the door and Delia's mother answered the door. She was like Delia except older. She had short, brown hair and dressed a bit eccentrically. She let me into the house and let me go upstairs to surprise Delia.

"Hey you! It's been so long. I'm offended that I haven't seen you in like a month." She hit my on the shoulder.

"You could've called too, ya know," I said.

"Hey, we're talking about you not me. Anyway, what's been going on with you."

"That's what I came here to talk to you about," I said.

"Um...okay? Come sit down."

We sat down on her bed. "Well, there's been something that I should've told you a long time ago, but I guess I've been a little chicken."

"Shit, Sullivan, I'm your best friend. You can tell me anything."

"D...I'm gay."

Her face fell from a smile to horror. "Sam...your're-you're so not gay."

"Delia, I know that this is a shock, but you can't just tell me that I'm not gay."

"But Sam, you don't understand. We were supposed to be together. We were meant to be." Her eyes started to well up in tears.

"D, where did you get that idea?"

She bent her head back and wiped her tears. "Sam, I've been in love with you since we met." I could barely understand her through her sobs. "And now I know why you've never seen that."

I started to cry myself. "Delia I'm so sorry. You're such a good friend to me and you're such a big part of my life. I'm sorry that I never told you. It's just been such a burden to me and I really didn't like that part of myself. But then I met someone...someone who helped me love this part of me that's been such a weight on my shoulders for so long."

"You met a guy?" She sniffled and wiped her tears with her wrist.

"Yes," I said. "I met a guy." I wiped my tears. "His name is Travis." I smiled. "And I love him. I love him so much that it hurts. It oozes out of me and I don't want to hide myself anymore. I don't want to hide him."

She sniffled. "I think you should leave. I need some time to myself to think through all of this."

So I left. I drove back home and I drove slowly. Cars sped past me, honking their horns. But I couldn't concentrate on driving. I felt like I'd just lost a big part of my life. Even thought I haven't been spending a lot of time with her this summer, I still think about her every day. I usually take her into consideration when making huge decisions. I can't lose her. I just can't.