Daydreamers - 18. Chapter 18

I walked back to my house and upstairs after Paul left. Should I just not show up at the lake? Would that be rude? I love Alex right? And he loves me, but he doesn't want anything to do anything about it. If this is a flirt on Paul's part, it's not like I'm with Alex. But why do I feel like I'd be cheating on him if I went? But I'm not, so I'll go. Paul's probably not gay anyway.

I grabbed my shorts from my drawer and changed. I shuffled down the stairs, but was caught by my dad.

"Brian, where do you think you were going?" He asked.

"I'm going to meet Paul at the lake," I answered.

"No. You're not going anywhere with him."

"Why ‘cause he's a guy?" When he didn't answer, I knew I was right. "I can't believe you, dad. I can't believe you're that homophobic. Paul's not even gay. He's just a friend. He offered to make this time a little better for me and I accepted."

His face was stern and almost unemotional. I stood there silently looking at him, waiting for him to somehow respond or even just to make eye contact with me. He didn't.

"I should've known better than to think that you would maybe be supportive of me." I cleared my throat-trying to keep from crying. "I've always been such a disappointment to you, haven't I? I guess this is just another way I've done that."

I left the house with my towel in and hand and tears running down my face. I walked all the way to lake like this-my nose running and my face wet with tears. When I got there, Paul saw me and his face turned from a smile to worry.

"Hey, Brian what's wrong?" he asked.

He stepped up to me and I sniffled. He wrapped his strong arms around me. I was practically a twig compared to his big muscles. My tears started to dampen his t-shirt and I pulled away.

"I don't wanna ruin your t-shirt."

He smiled. "Don't worry about that. What's wrong?"

"It's my dad. I don't know what to do about him. He's just do angry that-that I'm gay."

"I'm sorry. I-I don't know what to say."

I wiped my tears and wiped my nose and took a deep breath. "Let's just go swimming."

He smiled. "Cool"

He took his t-shirt off and I was mesmerized by his washboard abs and his defined chest. He threw his t-shirt to the ground and rubbed his hands up and down his torso quickly. He looked up at me and I was practically drooling at the sight of him. He smiled.

"Okay gay-boy, let's come out of Paul's hot land and get into the lake."

I shook my head. "Right, sorry." I took off my t-shirt.

"Don't be sorry. I told you that I don't mind if you look at me. I just wanna get in the lake. It's fucking hot out."

He walked into the lake, slowly. I followed him. We both stayed in the shallow part of the lake, just relaxing and cooling off. He dipped his head under the water and I did the same. He smiled at me again. He sure does smile a lot.

"See? Doesn't that feel better?"

"I guess," I answered.

"You guess?" He splashed water at my face.

"Hey!" I splashed him back.

We started to splash back and forth. He finally got a hold of my neck. It was sort of play wrestling. I tried my best to get loose, but every time that I even got close to breaking free, he'd change up his hold on me.

It took me a while, but I finally got loose and it was sweet victory. I made my way to the shallowest part of the lake, where the water only came up to my knees. I put my fists on my waist like Superman.

"Tah-dah! Sweet Victory!" I yelled out.

He smiled and laughed silently, shaking his shoulders. "You're really cute, you know that?"

That caught me off guard. My mouth went wide open.

"Oh, I mean-I mean cute in like ah, a little kid type of way."

I caught his stuttering and his lame cover-up story. No way would someone who's straight say that to me. This really had me curious.

"Don't try to play me, Paul. I know what you said."

"Look, kid, I like you. I really do, but don't read too much into the things that I say."

He started to walk out of the water. He walked right passed me. Normally the water dripping off of his abs and his chest would be enough to distract me from anything, but not this. He said I was cute and I wanna know where that came from.

"Look, I'm gay. We gays have perfected the cover-up over the years. You can't get anything passed me-especially with that lame story."

"I don't know why I said that, okay!" He started to holler like he was mad and annoyed. "It was just as much of a surprise to me as it was to you. It came out of nowhere!"

He was drying himself off already and I walked out of the lake and ended up in front of him. He stopped drying when I was only inches away from him. He started to look me in the eyes. I looked up at him. Never breaking eye contact, I put my hand flat on his abs-just above his belly button.

"How does this make you feel?" I asked him still not breaking eye contact.

He waited a while before he answered, still looking in my eyes. "It makes me wanna kiss you," he said softly.

"What're you waiting for, then?" I asked.

He jerked his head back and then took a step backward. "No, I can't."

"What's wrong?" I asked. "Why not?"

"You're SIXTEEN, Brian. I'm twenty. This can't happen."

"It's not like you're forcing me. Shit, with that body you don't even have to ask."

"Is that the only reason you like me-because of the way I look?"

"No, but I am human. Looks do help."

"What, then? What do you like about me?"

I started going through all of his traits in my head. "Well, I like that you're honest and, and I like that you're really down to Earth. And you're just a really nice guy and easy to talk to. Is that enough for you or should I go on?"

"What about Alex?"

He had to mention Alex, didn't he? "We're just friends." I started to walk up to him again. I looked up at him. "That has nothing to do with what's going on here."

This time, he couldn't fight it. He bent his head down and kissed me. Once we had been kissing for a while and everything set in our minds, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into him.

When our kiss ended, he looked into my eyes and I looked into his. His eyes were dark blue. It would be easy to never look away from them again. I don't know why, but this felt different than when I was with Alex. Maybe it was because my feelings were actually returned this time. I don't really know.

He held me in his arms and I never wanted him to let go. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. They were comforting and strong and, most of all, they didn't judge me. Then, I suddenly remembered my conversation with my father. I told him that Paul was just a friend. He's gonna think that I lied to him now.

"That was different," he said.

"How?"

"I've never kissed a boy before."

"Never?"

"No, I never even thought about it until now. I don't know. Something just came over me." He smiled. "You came over me."

He pecked me on the lips again, quickly. I blushed and smiled. I wouldn't say it was love at first sight with Paul. It wasn't really anything I could figure out, but I certainly liked it. When he let go of me, I was really disappointed.

"Wanna go back to my place?" He asked. "My dad's at work."

"Oh yeah-and what're we gonna do there?"

"I don't know. We could hang out some more. And-And we could do other things."

His hand touched my hip and I shuddered with pleasure. But we heard footsteps coming towards us and he pulled away. My smile fell and I looked to see who was coming. It was Alex.

"Hey you two," said Alex. "What's going on here? Brian, did you get a new best friend behind my back?"

"Oh, no...ah...we were just swimming," I answered as he walked up to Paul and me.

"So, ah...my brothers are planning this big camping trip next weekend. Wanna come?"

"Um...I have to ask my parents, but it sounds great."

"You should come too, Paul," said Alex.

"No, I can't. I have to work," said Paul. "Sorry."

"Come on, Alex. Dry off. Tyler, Sam, and I are gonna go to the movies."

I turned to Paul. I really wanted to stay with him.

"Go ahead," he said. "I'll see you later."

I dried off and put my t-shirt back on. I followed Alex. We walked to his house where we hung out for a while. It was awkward for me, but I didn't know if he felt it too or not. We just talked and stuff. We didn't really talk about anything special. But then, he brought up Paul.

"So how lucky were you that you got to go swimming with that hunk, huh?"

"Oh, right...Paul..."

"What's wrong? You've been acting funny."

Thank God I was saved by Tyler and Julian walked in. Those two were always together somewhere. It makes me think that something might be going on between them. Well-anyway-as soon as they got there, Sam and Travis came down from upstairs. Alex had told me while we were talking that they were going together. I thought it was awesome and wondered if they were Stone Lake's first gay couple. I hoped that they weren't.

The six of us stuffed ourselves into Sam's car. It's a good thing that Alex, Julian, and I are pretty thin or we wouldn't have ever been able to fit Tyler in the back seat as well. It's a good thing the movie theater wasn't that far in a car. It would've taken forever to walk there, plus it was super hot. So, we weren't about to walk.

We got in to see the new horror flick thanks to Julian. I hate that you have to be twenty one to take minors in to rated R movies. I hate even more that they actually enforce that rule. What a stupid rule.

We walked into the movie and when it started to get really good, I spotted Sam jumping at the scary parts. He'd jump into Travis and Travis would hold him. I thought of Paul. Would he ever take me on a public date? He seems a little afraid of his feelings for me right now. I don't know. This is all so new to me. I always thought that my first boyfriend would be Alex, but I think I've sort of grown apart from him.

I still consider him my best friend, but my feelings for him have cooled off-I think.