Daydreamers - 30. Chapter 30

A few nights after my big climactic argument and then make up with my dad, I got a visit from Alex. He had tears in his eyes, but somehow he didn't seem sad.

"Alex, what's wrong?" I asked as he stood at the door.

"Can I come in?" he asked in a sniffle.

"Yeah, come in," I said.

We walked up to my room like nothing between us had ever happened. It's not like we were fighting or anything. It was just really awkward. Somehow the awkwardness was gone and we were able to be friends again. We sat in my room on bed like we always did.

"So what's up?" I asked. "You're crying, but you don't look sad at all."

"I came out to my mom," he said. "I guess these are tears of relief."

"She didn't blow a gasket, then?" I asked.

He laughed and wiped his tears away. "No and it feels so good to just have everything out in the open."

"What about your dad?" I asked.

"Oh, that's a different story. Sam told me he just barely got used to the idea of him being gay. I think I need to give it a little more time before I tell my dad."

"So, you came over here to tell me?"

"Yeah, I just needed to talk. I hope it's alright."

"Of course," I said. "We're still best friends right?"

"Yeah," he said. He smiled. I still get weak when he smiles. It's a great smile. "Since we're still friends...I have something else to tell you."

"What's up?"

"I met a guy," he said and I didn't expect it.

"Really," I said.

"Yeah, his name is Joey. He goes to South High, I think. I've never seen him at school before."

I didn't really know what to feel at this point. They way that I reacted told me that I wasn't totally over Alex like I thought. I suppose it was just wishful thinking that my feelings for him would go away overnight because of Paul.

"So...you like him?"

"Yeah, I really like him a lot and he likes me too," he said with a hopeful smile.

"That-that's good," I said.

What else could I say? I couldn't tell Alex that it wasn't good because I was uncomfortable with it. I couldn't tell him to stop seeing this Joey guy because it didn't feel right to me. What kind of friend would I be then? And, after all, didn't I start this by starting to see Paul?

"I have news too," I said. "My dad...he came around. He's not really keen on me being gay, but he stopped giving me a hard time for it."

"Hey! That's great!"

Alex seemed genuinely happy for me. Was I a bad friend because I wasn't happy for him? I was glad that I was saved by Matt who came into my room saying that I had to go to the grocery store with him.

At the store, Matt started to grill me about Alex, and that was the last thing I wanted. Actually, I think I'd rather back home talking to Alex than talking about Alex. I'm just so confused right now that I don't even know which way is up.

Matt got the hint and stopped asking questions, but then he started asking about Paul, which is even worse now that I still have mixed feelings about Alex. I really don't know what to do with my feelings for Paul. Come to think of it, my feelings for Paul probably aren't even real feelings. What if they're just rebound feelings? Even though there was nothing with Alex to rebound with, I still had a lot of feelings for him-or have-I don't know.

Anyway, I went to see Paul after helping with the groceries. His dad wasn't home again. I'm beginning to think that his dad is almost never home. It's not like it's a big deal. Paul is practically an adult. He can take care of himself. But it's just weird, ya know-his dad almost never being home.

"Hey, you have perfect timing. I was just about to eat lunch. Want some?" he asked when I got there.

"What're you eating?" I asked.

"I was just gonna make myself a sandwich and we have chips and stuff."

"Um, sure," I said.

He seemed really excited to see me. I was sort of excited to see him, I guess. I didn't really know what I was doing there. I just decided to go there for some reason. And when I followed him into the kitchen, I really just wanted to sit with him and eat. But, he had other plans. Once we had our sandwiches made, he sat down next to me and started to kiss my neck.

"What about lunch?" I asked.

"Let's skip straight to dessert," he said.

"I've never had dessert with lunch before," I said.

"Well, there's a first time for everything."

He started to kiss my neck again. At first I wanted him to stop, but it felt good-so I let him keep going. Eventually he made his way to my lips. But he stopped.

"What happened?" I asked.

"You wanna go upstairs?" he asked.

"Um..."

"We don't have to if you don't want to," he said, rubbing my hand. "If you're not ready, we can wait."

"No," I said. "Let's go."

He smiled, took my hand and started to lead me upstairs. I walked step by step, foot by food-slowly. We walked into his room, which was a typical guy's room, I guess. His bed was a double and could barely fit us both. We sat at the edge, looking in each other's eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I looked into his eyes. His black hair covered his right eye and I gently pushed his hair back. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I knew my answer.

"I'm sure," I answered.

I kissed him softly and we fell softly onto the bed. He rolled on top of me and started to unbutton his shirt, but I stopped him and started to do it for him. His strong chest popped out of his shirt and gave me and almost instant hard on.

"This," he started. "This is new for me. I-I don't really know what to do. All I know is that I want this. I want this so bad."

"I want this, too," I said. "And just to let you know-this is new for me, too."

He put his strong hands softly between my t-shirt and my skin and slid them up to my chest, lifting my t-shirt up over my head. He tossed my t-shirt to the ground and then started to kiss my neck, the same spot as last time. His kisses moved south to my chest and then to my stomach. I panted as his kisses moved softly to my belly button. He started to kiss north again-kissing my shoulder and my shoulder blades. His body rubbing against mine got me ready to do it already and skip out on the foreplay.

So, I decided to take this into my own hands. So, I pinned him to the bed and he grinned. It was my turn. I started kiss his toned chest and his chiseled abs. Once I got to his waist, I unzipped and unbuttoned his jeans and started to slide them off of him. He had boxer-briefs on and they tightly hugged his thighs. His giant hard on made an imprint in them that went down his leg. I started to kiss it over his boxers. He moaned and shuddered under his breath.

I pulled his boxers off and his large hard on flopped out and stood straight up. I looked at it like it was a huge feast and I was starving to death. And once I got used to how big it was, I took as much of it as I could into my mouth and it was tasty. But he stopped me. I stood on my knees and he propped himself up on his elbows. I got off the bed and took off my jeans and boxers, revealing my own hard on which seemed so small compared to his. He lay on the bed and watched me.

I walked back to him and once I was on the bed, I walked on my knees. He grabbed me by the waist and swallowed me when my waist was in his face. He sucked me as I stood on my knees and he was propped up on his elbows. It started to feel so good that I threw my head back in pleasure. Soon, I couldn't help it. I came in his mouth.

His face was shocked and freaked out at the same time. He didn't really know what to do with my juices. So, he took a big gulp, swallowing it. His eyes went big and looked up at me.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"That was different," he said. He cleared his throat with a big scratch. "But it was okay," I guess."

I didn't feel his hard on beneath me any longer, so I decided it was up to me to get him up again. I started to kiss his well groomed balls softly and slowly and he perked up in no time. Again, I took as much of it as I could into my mouth, but it's big. I would estimate it at about eleven inches. I've measured mine before. Mine's about seven inches and I estimate that his is a little less than three inches longer than mine.

I sat bent at his cock for about ten minutes-sucking, licking, and stroking. Eventually, he came and when he did he started to moan my name.

"Br-ian-Oh, Brian-I-I l-love you!" He yelled as he shot his load all over his abs, chest, and some even hit his face. He panted and moaned and his chest fell up and down quickly.

I didn't expect him to tell me that he loved me. Maybe he was talking about the blow job. I don't know. But at that time, I didn't care. I started to lick up all of his juices, even the spots on his face. He smiled at me and then kissed me. His tongue came into my mouth, and I still had his cum inside it. Together we tasted the product of our sex.

He pulled his blanket out so that we could lie in bed together. He put his big arms around me and I cuddled into him. He kissed my cheek and I blushed. I don't know why. After all, we had just had sex.

"I really do love you, ya know," he said. "I know it sounds crazy. We've only been together for a week, but I feel like you're the one I've been waiting for." He laughed. "A guy. All that time I spent dating girls and the only person I've ever loved in this world turns out to be a guy."

"You don't really love me," I said. "You can't. Love takes time, Paul."

"It's okay if you don't love me back. I just want you to know that...that I love you."

He hugged me tighter and we just sat silent after that. I could definitely learn to love Paul. But did I want to? Wasn't Alex the one that I really wanted? But he was with Joey now. The best thing I can do for the both of us is stay with Paul and let Alex stay with Joey.

In lying with Paul, I fell asleep. I imagine that he did too. I woke up to a knock on his door. His dad came in and Paul jumped up next to me. He didn't have time to hide me and the look on his dad's face was pure shock and horror.

"Dad I-I can explain. It's..."

"Sorry," said Paul's dad. "I-I'm leaving."

The man turned around and left, closing the door behind him.

"Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit shit!" Paul got up and started to get dressed. "You need to go. You should leave."

"Paul, calm down. I don't think he was angry or anything." I started to dress as well.

"You don't understand! I'm not ready for all of this! He's gonna wanna talk about it and-I can't handle that."

"You don't have trouble talking to me," I said.

"That's different," he said. "You're, like, my best friend or something."

"Best friend? I thought you said you loved me."

"You know what I mean. I meant that it's easy for me to talk to you. I don't have time for this. I have to deal with my dad. Look, this was really...really great."

He pecked me on the lips and disappeared out of the room. I finished getting dressed. When I was done, I snuck down the stairs and out of the door as quietly as I could. I walked my way back to my house. I had to tell someone what had just happened. But who? I couldn't tell Alex. That's just too awkward. Telling Matt would be way too weird. I can't believe I don't have anyone to tell. I feel alone somehow. I'm alone with no one to turn to.