Daydreamers - 28. Chapter 28

When I asked my mom if I could go to LA with Travis for his family reunion, she wasn't too happy about. It wasn't that she was mad. It was more like she was disappointed. She wanted to spend my eighteenth birthday with me as well. But she suspected that she wouldn't be able to talk me out of it. But the catch was that I had to run it by my dad as well. And the only that I could do that was drive to the hospital and ask him at work.

Stone Lake Memorial Hospital wasn't actually within the town limits of Stone Lake. It was about two miles outside of the actual town. I drove nervously with my heart pumping fast and my fingers tapping on the steering wheel. When I got off, everyone who worked there knew who I was right away.

"You look just like your father," they'd say.

I'd smile and wondered if my dad thought that was a good thing or a bad thing. It was hard to tell what my father thought of me these days with him being so angry about my gayness. I walked to the elevator and to the top floor where his office is. Did I ever mention that my dad's the chief of staff? Yeah, well that's why he spends so much time here and not at home.

I knocked on his office door after his secretary said that it was okay. He called "come in" and I slowly opened the door and walked in.

"What can I do for you?" he asked with his face in a pile of papers.

"Dad," I said. "It's me."

He looked up. "Oh, Samuel, Come in. You actually have perfect timing. I was just about to go to lunch. You can join me."

He was in an unusually good mood. He was nothing like he was when I occasionally see him at home. It was kind of weird and I wondered who this man was and what he did with my father.

"Um, sure," I said.

My dad and I walked to the elevator. "It's good to see a friendly face. Our budgeting is really tight right now and the only faces I usually see are accountants, lawyers, and the occasional nurse."

"Yeah," I said. "I, ah...just thought I'd come and visit."

We got off the elevator and walked to the cafeteria. He ordered us two pasta plates, two small side salads and two sodas. We had a seat in one of the empty tables for two.

"So, what's new at home? Is everything going smoothly?" he asked.

"Yeah, as far as I know. I don't really spend much time there anymore."

"Oh, did you find a job?"

"No...Actually I've been spending a lot of time with Travis-my boyfriend."

"Oh...right..." He looked down at his food and shoveled some into his mouth. "Look, I shouldn't have reacted the way I did when you came out. I was just so angry and...and I didn't really understand. It's still really hard for me. I'm-I'm just gonna need some more time before I'm ready to talk about this with you."

"Well, I can understand that. Trust me, it took me a long time before I could just admit it to myself and even longer to tell someone."

"So...are you looking for a job?"

"Yeah, I was actually gonna ask Larry if he needed help at the diner."

"That sounds like a great idea. I'm sure Larry could always use extra help-especially in the summer."

"Dad, I didn't really come just to visit. I came to ask you something."

"What is it, Samuel?" he asked politely.

"I know you said that you didn't want to talk about this, but...Travis has this family reunion thing coming up in LA and...and I was wondering if it would be okay if I go with him."

"But it's your birthday. We always spend your birthday as a family."

"Yeah, but let's face it-we haven't been much of a family lately."

I could see he was getting angry and was sure that he was gonna say no, but after some talking, he eventually said yes.

"I want you to call everyday twice a day and let us know what you're doing and that you're okay. And I don't want you sleeping in the same room with that boy."

"Really? Are you serious?"

"I'm serious, Samuel. If I find out that you're sleeping in the same room as him, I'm never trusting you again."

"Well, it's a good thing I'm turning eighteen, then isn't it."

"This isn't a joke, Sam. I'm serious."

"Okay, okay," I said. "We'll sleep in separate bedrooms." I was lying of course.

"So, how many days exactly will you be gone?"

"Um, four," I said.

"Okay, but when you get back, you're getting a job. Even if I have to get you one here, you're getting one."

"Fine, I'll get a job. I was planning to anyway."

"Okay, that's that. I have to get back to work."

"Wait," I said. "Can't-can't you take the rest of the day off? We haven't spent a lot of time together in a while."

"I can't, Sam."

"But you're the boss aren't you?"

"I can't spend time with just you. I have your brothers to think about as well."

I put my head down in real disappointment. You'd probably think I was doing this on purpose, but I was genuinely disappointed. "Okay...its fine. I guess I just thought we could get to know each other better."

I could see his face fall to sadness. I got up and started to walk out. "Thanks for lunch," I said.

"Wait...Samuel..."

"What?" I asked, turning around.

"Walk with me to my office. I'll make some arrangements to take the rest of the day off."

I was happy. I was ten years old again and about to spend the day with my father. I just hoped that it wouldn't turn into another argument. I walked with him back to his office. He made a few calls and signed a few more papers and then we were off.

"So? Where to?" he asked. I guess that meant that I was driving.

"Wanna go to the carnival? It just opened an hour ago."
My dad smiled, "I haven't been to that carnival in years. The last time I was there I took-"

"Me, Ryan, and Tyler," I interrupted. "Ryan was eleven, I was eight, and Ty was seven. It was my birthday."

"You remember that?"

"It's the last time I was there too," I said.

"Really?"

"Mom would take everyone, but I never wanted to go. I always had more fun when I went with you."

"The carnival it is, then."

We got to the carnival and it was a colorful party of games and rides and cheerful music. We walked around trying to figure out what games we were gonna play. My dad wanted to play the basketball game.

"Oh, okay," I said.

He threw his three balls into the basket and made all three of them perfectly. I, on the other hand, only got one of them into the basket. My dad got a giant stuffed panda as a prize and I didn't get anything. He gave the panda to me.

"Travis is better at basketball then I am," I said. "He's tried to teach me, but I'm pretty hopeless."

"He likes basketball?"

"He loves it. He's really good at it too. I saw him play in the park with a bunch of guys and his team won because of him."

"Impressive," said dad.

I felt proud of Travis. Was my dad actually starting to approve of him? So maybe if I just shut up about Travis for a while-as hard as it is-I can bring him up again. I can talk about how great he is and maybe dad'll start getting used to me being with him.

Next we went to the balloon pop. I'm really good at that one and won a poster. I chose the one of Led Zeppelin. I was gonna give it to Travis because he loves them. It was hard not mentioning him at all, but I suddenly got the chance when dad went to the game where you have to knock over the cans with a baseball. Travis loves baseball too. I actually did better than my dad at this game and won a stuffed giraffe. My dad won a little bouncy ball.

"Where did you get so good at pitching?" he asked.

Perfect. "Travis taught me," I said.

"Oh," he said. "You spend a lot of time with him, don't you?"

"Yeah," I said. "I really care about him."

He tossed his ball into the air and caught it. "Up for some cotton candy?"

"Sure," I said.

We bought cotton candy and started towards the rides. Right away we thought of the spinning apples. It was my favorite when I was a kid. We got on and it was probably the most fun that I've had in a long time. The speed of the spinning cart pressed my body against it and caused my stomach to twirl with it, but in a good way. My dad was laughing like I've never seen him laugh before. I'd never gone on it with him before. It was always me, Ryan, and Ty.

When we got off, me and him were still laughing and stumbling in our dizziness. I dropped my prize stuffed animals and carefully picked them up. We walked over to a bench where we could collect ourselves.

"So," said my dad catching his breath. He put his hand through his blonde, graying hair. "This...Travis-he makes you happy?"

I sighed. "Very happy," I said. "I love him...dad."

It was his turn to sigh. "I'm not used to this." He paused. "Two men...together...it's not what I'm used to."

"I get it, dad. I know this. But try to understand that it's natural to me-like a guy and a girl is natural to you."

"Look, you're my son and I want you to be happy-"

"I am happy, dad."

"Let me finish." He sighed. "I want you to be happy, so if Travis makes you happy...then I'm okay with it."

I was so happy that words couldn't express it. All I could do was hug my dad tighter than I ever have before. "Thank you, dad. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"This was a good day, son. I think I might lighten my schedule and spend more days at home with the family. You were right. I am the boss after all."

I smiled. "While you're feeling generous-are you up for a corn dog?"

My dad smiled back. "I haven't had a corn dog in years."

After the carnival, I took my dad back to the hospital. He had some loose ends to tie up.

"Tell your mother that I'll be home for dinner," he said before he got out of my car.

"Okay," I said.

"I had a great time, Sam. Maybe we'll come back with the rest of the family." He paused. "You-you can invite Travis if you want."

"We'll see," I said. "I should get home anyway. I need to make the travel arrangements for this weekend."

I drove off and smiled the whole way home. I've never felt so close with my dad before. I felt like he was finally back to the dad that I used to know. He wasn't just Dr. Patrick Sullivan. He was my dad.

When I got back home, I couldn't wait to tell mom about the day that I had, but her mood wasn't very good. Her face expression was dark and confused. I sat next to her carefully, but it was like I wasn't there at all. She didn't budge.

"Mom," I said gently. "What's wrong?"

"Alex..." She sighed. "Your brother just told me that he's..."

"He told you he's gay," I said.

"You knew. Of course you knew. You and your brothers-you're all so close. I'm glad though." She had gentle tears and wiped them away. "I never had a close relationship with my sisters. We were always at each other's throats."

"Mom, what's really on your mind?"

She laughed and wiped more of her tears. "What did I do? Did I do something wrong bringing you boys up? Was your dad not around enough?"

"That's crazy, mom, and you know it. Do you really wanna be one of those moms who think it's their fault?"

She smiled. "I always hated when moms did that."

"See," I said. "Alex...Alex is gonna be okay and so is Tyler and so am I. We're tough. We're Sullivans."

She smiled. "You've got each other."

"And nothing can take that away from us. We're brothers until we die."

"That's really the only thing that gives me comfort." She blew her nose with a crumpled tissue. "What about Ryan?"

My mood definitely went south with the mention of him. "What about Ryan?" I asked back.

"I haven't seen him around. He doesn't spend time with you boys?"

"No," I said bluntly.

"Why not?"

"Because he's a closed minded bigot that can't even accept his own brothers."

"Samuel, you need to resolve this with him."

"I don't think we can."