Catering with Benefits (2) - Second Course - 2. GLAMARAMA

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When Edward’s drag queen program aired on 2GAYfm it was well received by the community. The listener comments on the station’s website and social media were mostly favourable and this boosted Edward’s confidence about the new project.

Edward already had two programs recorded for the premier of ‘Edward Listens’, so he started setting dates for further interviews, to ensure he could always be a few weeks ahead.

While scanning through old copies of the Sydney Star Observer he found this advertisement. ‘Do you like pain? Do you want to share with like- minded men? No Master and Slave roles, just the enjoyment of pain. Email painlover@gmail.com.au’

He immediately emailed the pain lover, explaining what he wanted and received a reply a few days later.

The next easiest interview, in Edward’s opinion would be the interview with Romel and Craig. He liked recording his interviews at an appropriate location so that it gave the program an atmosphere of authenticity. He thought the interview with Romel and Craig should be in a drug related place. The safe injecting room in Kings Cross gave him a flat NO, the local police were not keen on him using their station but the local sergeant promised to pass his request up the line and get back to him. He heard nothing more so put the pressure on Romel to ask for permission to use the A & E at his hospital. When both Romel and Craig approached the director of emergency medicine and explained the history behind their request, he remembered having nursing students in on Saturday nights when he was an emergency doctor in another hospital. He agreed to their request and asked for Edward to contact him. He and Edward set appropriate protocols so the interview would have authenticity, yet protect the privacy of patients and not interfere with the medical and nursing staff procedures.

The interview was recorded on a Saturday late shift with the appropriate background noises of a busy A & E.

*****

The summer heat in Sydney can become quite oppressive when the humidity is high. The harbour really is one of the most beautiful in the world but it does bring high humidity right into the city and nearby suburbs.It was on a hot humid Sunday morning that Jared suggested to his house mates that they should all go to the beach for the day. Andy said, “Oh thanks for the invitation, but beaches aren’t really my thing. I love my Irish heritage but it has handed down to me this pale skin that turns to crackling at the slightest exposure to sun.”

“We can cover you in sun block, from head to toe.” suggested Thomas.

“Thanks all the same, but you two go and enjoy yourselves.”

They set off for Bondi beach but upon arrival decided it was too crowded with families and drove a little further north to the next beach. Tamarama was a much smaller beach and one so favoured by the gay community that it had earned the nickname ‘Glamarama’. Jared had not been there before but quickly understood why it had been given that name. The park and the paved areas around the beach were populated by ‘paraders’ on a rare day off from the gym, and the beach area covered in near naked bodies displaying either a matching set of pecs and abs or bubble butts barely covered by Speedos that only got wet in the laundry.

As they reached the water’s edge they both dropped their towels and bags then ran into the bracing water. One of the anomalies of the Australian east coast is that no matter how hot the atmosphere, the southern tides keep the ocean cool. This often comes as a shock to international visitors. Thomas was not a strong swimmer, but had grown up with an understanding and respect for the ocean and was aware of his limitations. He kept to a safe depth while Jared, a more accomplished swimmer, went out further, swimming strongly and body surfed back into the shore.

They returned to their towels and spread them on the sand. Thomas, in his modest boxer style shorts, sat so he could watch the passing parade of bodies while Jared lay on his towel and added to the display of Speedo covered butts. Jared turned his head towards Thomas and said “I had another reply from the ad about pain loving the other day”.

“But that was placed months ago”.

“Yeah, but this isn’t someone wanting to join me in pain loving; it was a guy from that gay radio station. He wants to interview me for a radio program”.

“Are you going to do it?”

“I will at least meet him and talk to him. It could be interesting.”

“So, what does he want to interview you about?”

“Pain loving, what I do and how I got into it. Stuff like that.”

“When are you going to meet him?”

“He wants to come over one evening next week. I just have to confirm with him”.

“At the house?”

“Yes, he thinks the interview will be better if we do it in my studio with my gear around”.

“Does he want a demonstration?”

“He didn’t say so, but that might be a bit boring on radio.”

“Not if you moan and scream a lot.”

“You know I don’t do that.”

***

Edward arrived on Wednesday evening with his recording equipment and a folder of notes. After the greetings Jared took Edward to his pain studio, where he had set up two chairs for them. Edward set up his recording equipment and said to Jared “Before we start the interview we’ll just have a chat and get comfortable talking to each other. Can you tell me what this equipment is and how you use it?”

They chatted for about fifteen minutes about what would be interesting topics to discuss and Edward ran some of his questions past Jared to ensure he would be willing to answer them. Jared was still feeling a bit nervous about the interview, so when Edward asked him if he could do a small demonstration Jared was happy to oblige. He had not done much lately, now that his time was occupied by Thomas. He also thought it might relax him a bit. Edward was thinking the opposite; that it might wind Jared up a bit and enhance the quality of the interview.

“What are you going to do Jared?”

“I’m going to try something I haven’t done before. I don’t know how it will go, but I will need your help. Are you OK with that?”

“Jared, I’ve not had any experience with this sort of stuff.”

“That’s OK, I’ll tell you exactly what to do.”

“All right where do we start?”

Jared went to the shelf and got a set of battery jumper leads. This startled Edward who said “You’re not going to ask me to electrocute you, I hope.”

“No, that’s stage two, but I won’t be doing that today. What I’m attempting today is to use the alligator clips to crush my balls.” He handed the clips to Edward who looked at the serrated ends of the clips and suggested, “These are really going to bite into your flesh”.

“That’s OK, I think that will be minor pain compared to the crushing pressure of the springs”. Then Edward tried to squeeze one of the clips open and realised just how strong they were. “Sweetie these are going to kill you.”

“I don’t plan to go that far, but I expect they will be tight.” Then Jared stepped onto his boxes, one foot on each, and reached for the chin up bar above him. He took a firm grip and then asked Edward, “Please give my balls a good shake and squeeze them with your hands to get me started. I need to build up some pain resistance before the full crush.”

Edward did as asked, but could not believe how Jared showed no signs of discomfort. “Squeeze a bit harder, will you?” asked Jared. Edward thought he was squeezing pretty hard, certainly hard enough to bring tears to his eyes, if it was him on the receiving end. He squeezed with all his strength and noticing that there was still no reaction from Jared he asked “How’s that?”

“Now I can feel it. Hold it for a few minutes at full strength, and then I should be ready for the alligator clips”. Edward was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. Playing with another man’s nuts was one thing, but inflicting extreme pain was another. He was squeezing so hard he was beginning to break out in a sweat and wondered why Jared was not.

After a few minutes Jared asked him to let go and get the alligator clips. Edward picked up one and squeezed it fully open. “Now put the open jaws completely over one of my balls and then let it close slowly. As he did so, Edward was feeling the pain himself. When the clip was at full pressure he looked up at Jared and noticed his body finally showing a film of sweat. “How are you feeling?” he asked Edward.

“Bloody wonderful” he replied through clenched teeth. But that was the only sign of discomfort he displayed. Then he added “I’m swallowing the pain now.” and started to breathe in heavy pants. Feeling worried Edward asked “Are you OK, your breathing is getting worrying?”.

“No problem, with each breath I exhale the pain, and when it’s all gone I will ask you to apply the second clamp.” Edward thought to himself, how can you breath out the pain, this man is insane.

“OK, I’m ready now,” said a red faced Jared, “but before you start, can you find the stopwatch on the shelf behind me. Set it to zero and start it as soon as you let go of the second clamp; now same procedure as before.” Edward slowly squeezed open the alligator clamp, put it around Jared’s ball and slowly released until it was completely clamped. The only sign of discomfort from Jared was the sweating and red face. Edward was thinking, this man either has balls of steel or the strongest willpower I have ever encountered. With both balls clamped he hung there and still managed to speak to Edward. “I want it timed so that I know what target I have to beat next time.”

“I get it,” replied Edward, “you are just over three minutes now. I will tell you as each minute counts down.”

“Four minutes.”

“Five minutes.”

“OK release one clamp, and stop the clock, then release the second clamp.”

As Jared stepped down, Edward looked around and found a towel for him. He handed it to Jared and asked, “I suppose you want to rest a while before we start the interview?”

“No, not at all, let’s roll with it while I’m still high.” A surprised Edward rushed to his recorder, retrieved his notes and started his first question.