Catering with Benefits (2) - Second Course - 42. JULIA WILL BE FINE

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A few days after the family dinner, Julia called Justin and asked if they could meet somewhere private. Justin suggested his mother’s place and Julia agreed. Justin called his Mum to advise her and the meeting was set.

Justin arrived early so he and his mum could discuss the matter, but soon realised there was nothing more to discuss. Everything relied on Julia’s explanation. Jessica prepared sandwiches in advance so that she did not have to be in the kitchen or delay the meeting when Julia arrived.

After greetings they all sat down with drinks and Julia started the conversation. “Jessica and Justin, what I’m about to tell you, I’ve never told anyone else before. What I need from both of you is assurance that you won’t share this information until I’ve had a chance to tell Hannah and the boys. I really don’t want to tell them, but if I don’t they may find out from elsewhere and that would be worse.”

“Certainly Julia.” assured Jessica.

“The same goes for me too, Aunt Julia. But there is one other person that needs to know and that is Jared. What do we tell him?”

“Can we leave that until I tell you my story?”

“Sure Aunt Julia, please go ahead.”

“Obviously my brother is the main character in this story. You both know how homophobic he is and it seems he has always been like that. Jessica, do you know his history and what happened to him when he was an altar boy?”

“Yes, Julia and I’ve told Justin also. I told him when Brendan murdered that young man. I needed him to understand what made his father the way he is.”

“Good, you did the right thing.” Julia paused, took a deep breath and continued.

“When we were growing up, Brendan and I were very close in the early days. He was my big brother, I looked up to him and he protected me as a big brother should. But when he was about 10 years old, he started to change. He became secretive and we did not share anymore. He also started to have mood swings. I was only eight and did not know how to cope with him, so I just thought that is how boys are. It was not till many years later that he told me about his treatment by the priests. Anyway, even after he told me that, when he was nearly 18, his moods did not improve. It was about this time that I began to realise my feelings were more towards girls than boys. Because he had finally confided in me about his altar boy experiences I decided to share my feelings with him. I was hoping that he could see past his homophobia for the priests and accept me, his sister for who I was.” Julia paused again. “I just need a few moments.”

“Of course, would you like your drink topped up Julia?”

“Thanks Jessica.”

“Justin, why don’t you freshen up our drinks while I get the sandwiches?”

“Sure Mum”.

Then Julia continued, “One evening when Mum and Dad were out playing pokies at the club and Brendan was out drinking with his mates, I was home alone thinking about girls and decided that I would share this with Brendan first, before telling Mum and Dad. I thought my big brother would support his little sister and that would make it easier when I eventually told them. As it turned out he came home first that night. He was a bit drunk but seemed in a good mood so I gave him a beer and asked him to listen to what I had to tell him. He listened without saying anything at all. I thought it was going well, so when I finished I asked him how he felt about it and would he support me if I told Mum and Dad. But, he just sat there sucking down beer and seemed to be almost ignoring me. When I pressed him again about supporting me, I realised why he had said nothing. He was sitting there fuming, anger rising in him. I had seen it before, but not aimed at me. He usually got like that when Dad chastised him or a teacher had upset him. I had never before been the focus of his anger”.

Julia paused to take a sip of her wine, then continued, “I did not want a fight with him so I got up to walk away and leave him to deal with his own anger. As I walked away he said ‘Come back here you filthy bitch. You don’t tell me something like that and then expect me to support you. Furthermore, don’t just walk away, you need to learn a lesson’. I asked him what he meant by that and he told me I needed to be taught how to be a woman.” Julia took a long pause and swallowed a few times before continuing.

“Before I could get away he grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me straight in the eyes and said what you need is a good fucking from a man. Being a bit cheeky I said to him ‘So are you going to get one of your drunken mates around here to do that’. He pushed me onto the floor and said ‘No, I’m man enough to do it myself’.

“Oh Julia, don’t go on. I think we have heard enough. There is no need for you to suffer through that again.” pleaded Jessica.

Justin stood up and started to pace up and down the room.

“Are you all right Justin?” asked his mother.

“No, I’m not all right. That fucking, fucking bastard; he’s lucky he’s in jail otherwise I would kill him myself.”

Jessica had never seen her son like this before and it scared her. “Please don’t say that Justin, you are starting to sound just like him.”

“Don’t say that Mum, I’m nothing like him and don’t ever want to be like him or even want him as my father. I wish he was dead. He’s dead to me.”

As Jessica tried to calm and comfort her son, she said to Julia “I’m sorry Julia. You are the one we should be supporting after all that he put you through and you having to keep that secret all these years”.

“It’s OK Jessica; it must be a big shock for Justin. I can understand him being so upset”.

When they had all calmed down Julia asked, “Can I finish my story, so that I don’t have to visit it again?”

“Sure, if you feel you are up to it.”

“I want to get it all out now... Well, as it turned out I became pregnant. When I told Mum and Dad I was pregnant they would not believe me that it was Brendan and accused me of ‘slutting myself’ with some local boy, Mum’s words. Eventually I dragged Brendan into the conversation. I expected him to deny it all, but instead he said he did do it. He was proud of what he had done and told our parents’ why he had done it. I could barely believe what happened next.”

“Are you sure you want to tell us more.” asked Jessica.

“Yes!....then instead of being angry at him and throwing him out of the house, Dad merely chastised him as if all he had done was come home late. Mum said Brendan would have to pay for any costs associated with my pregnancy and would have to drive me to doctor’s appointments and such”.

“Julia can I interrupt and ask why you did not have a termination?”

“In a good Catholic family, are you kidding? It was not even discussed and I was too young to do anything about it myself. As soon as I began to show I was taken out of school and had to stay at home all the time, apart from medical appointments. The Catholic adoption agency was contacted and arrangements made for immediate adoption after the birth. I was booked into St. Margaret’s hospital for the birth. The nuns there were well experienced at dealing with such cases, both within their own ranks and the general public. I was not even given a glimpse of my baby before it was taken away. They even filled out the birth certificate details and gave it to me to sign. That was when I found out I had given birth to a son.”

“How awful that must have been for you, my dear Julia.”

“It was, Jessica, but I coped with it and have tried to bury it for all these years past.”

“Aunt Julia, may I ask you something?”

“Of course Justin, anything.”

“If you are the mother of Jared, why does it say on his birth certificate that the mother is Roberta Haynes? Who is she?”

“That is me. My full name is Roberta Julia Haynes. But I hated it when I was young. Can you believe my father named me after Roberta Flack the singer; apparently she was his favourite singer at the time. I simply hated the name because it sounded like a boy’s name, I knew of nobody else with that name and I hated it being shortened to Rob and Bobbie and such. So, I insisted on being called Julia. I told everyone at school I was Julia and so it stuck.”

“Would you like to see the birth certificate Aunt Julia?”

“Yes, do you have it?”

“I have a copy and I don’t know if you remember but look at Jared’s middle name.”

Through teary eyes Julia looked at the birth certificate for the first time in thirty year. When she saw it briefly for the signing all those years ago, she did not notice that her son had been given a middle name of Robert.

“Oh I see what you mean. I would not have chosen that.”

“Did you choose the name Jared?” asked Jessica.

“No, as I said the form was filled out by the nuns, but I vaguely remember hearing that one of the doctors was named Jared, so maybe the nuns chose that name from him.”

“Strange they didn’t choose a saint’s name” offered Jessica.

“I have another question I want to ask you Aunt Julia.”

“What’s that Justin?”

“Would you like to talk to your son?”

“I suppose we should meet sometime, if he wants to.”

“I meant would you like to speak to him now, on the phone?”

“I don’t know if I’m in a right state of mind for that yet.”

“No problem, just let me know when you would like to talk to him or meet him. We have become quite close recently. We have even started calling each other brother”.

Before coming to the meeting Julia had been determined to just tell her story and leave immediately afterwards; but now that she had unburdened herself of a thirty year old secret she felt freer and closer to Jessica and Justin. A sense of calmness and comfort started to descend over her and she wanted to remain in the company of her two confidants.

“Jessica, those sandwiches look delicious, I might have one and could you make me a cup of tea to go with them. I should not drink any more wine before I drive home.”

“It will be my absolute pleasure Julia.”

While Jessica was in the kitchen Julia asked Justin “Tell me about Jared, you say you are close, how long have you known him?”

“We met very briefly nearly a year ago, but it is really only in the last six months that we have seen more of each other and about three months ago we realised there might be a connection between us.”

“What work does he do?”

“He used to be in the army. You know he was SAS, that’s the really tough guys who do the most dangerous jobs for the armed forces.”

“That’s impressive. So is he married, does he have children?”

“No and no. He did have a boyfriend when we first met but I’m not sure how that’s going now.”

“So, he is gay also?”

Before Justin could answer, Jessica returned with the tea. “So, what have you two been talking about?”

“Justin has been telling me about Jared.”

“That’s nice; you know I haven’t actually met him yet. Justin you must invite him over sometime soon.”

“Sure Mum.”

They chatted about other matters while they had their tea and sandwiches. Then Julia said “Justin, I think I would like to talk to him. The motherly instincts have kicked in now that I’m more relaxed and comfortable with the decision I made to tell you about this.”

“When would you like me to arrange it?”

“How about now?”

“That would be great. Can I just talk to him first and explain that you are here?”

“And Justin, I don’t think you should tell him anything about what we have discussed today.” advised Jessica.

“OK Mum, is that all right with you, Aunt Julia.”

“Sure, go and call him and I will wait here till he’s ready, if he wants to talk to me.”

Justin went into his mother’s bedroom and called Jared.

“Hi Justin, how’s things going?”

“Great, big brother.”

“You mean...”

“Yes, we are brothers and in fact your birth mother is here with me now”.

“Roberta is there?”

“Yes, she is but is known by her second name which is Julia.”

“How did you find her?”

“I think I should let her tell you that.”

“But, don’t you have an aunt called Julia who you have been talking to about this?”

“Yes.....” Justin answered nervously.

“Are they the same person, your aunt and my mother?”

“I didn’t want to be the one who told you this, but, yes.”

“That means my parents are siblings?”

“Yes, Jared, but I don’t want to talk about that.”

“Ok, does she want to talk to me?”

“Yes, she does, do you want to talk to her now?”

“Of course, but I’m a bit nervous about it.”

“Don’t be, she is a very nice person. I’m in my Mum’s room so I’ll just take the phone out to her now, and good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Justin then went out and gave the phone to Julia.

“Hello Jared.”

“Hello...er...what should I call you?”

“Julia will be fine.”

THE END of Part Two.

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