Welcome to the premiere of year two! I promised a special issue and here it is. My thanks to one exceptionally clever member who sent in all the questions used this month. Due to the number of authors featured, I will dispense with the individual blurbs this month. Instead, I’ll share the comment sent in with the questions:

I thought, why not recycle some of our—ok my—favorite authors, in an Inside the Actors’ Studio rip-off? Here are questions from James Lipton, Marcel Proust, and Bernard Pivot.

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@AC Benus

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To what faults do you feel most indulgent?

There's nothing indulgent about them, but I have many faults. Chief among them are the problems I tackle everyday as a severe dyslexic. Certain mistakes of my own are nearly impossible for me to "see," like barley for barely, illiterately for literally, defiantly for definitely, and one poor @Lisa had to tackle for years as my editor: finially for finally.

Fortunately, when I read other people's text, I don't have these problems.

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? 

Well, assuming all the many questions I have for Him are barred, I guess he'd ask me what I learned this time around. My answer: "I learned to love and not expect anything in return."

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@aditus

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What do you most dislike? 

Regarding last year, being sick.

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? 

Surprise!

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@Carlos Hazday

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Who are your favourite fictional heroes? 

Superman- The ultimate Boy Scout. Honest to a fault, and Henry Cavill is HOT!

Dirk Pitt- Clive Cussler’s character spends most of his time in the water, and owns a great car collection.

Jack Ryan- Tom Clancy’s retired Marine uses brains and brawn to beat up the bad guys.

Any of the bad boys created by Mann Ramblings. 

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? 

“Don’t get too comfortable. I’m sending you back so you can kick some more homophobic ass. And may the force be with you.”

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@CassieQ

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What is your least favorite word? 

Creamy, especially when used for a non-food related item.  When I was younger,  I read a novel where the heroine was described as having a creamy bosom or some kind of nonsense like that, and for the life of me I couldn't get the image of a woman walking around with boobs made of cream cheese out of my mind.  Unless it's talking about peanut butter or ice cream, I don't want to hear the word creamy in a book. 

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? 

Hmm.  I would like to imagine him saying something like "Betcha believe in me now bitch."    But in all seriousness, in this kind of scenario, I would like to hear him saying something about my family and friends that I've lost being in there waiting for me and that I could go and join them.  It's a comforting thought.

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@Cia

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In what country would you like to live? 

I'd live in Ireland. I have red hair and a metric ton of freckles. Not to mention the whole burst into flames in the sun thing. I'd finally fit in somewhere! My husband called me an Irish vampire and made the kids bust out laughing by trying his best mix of Dracula camp and Irish brogue with the quip, "I vant to suck your Lucky Charms!" 

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? 

Well, even in a question/answer scenario I can't really make believe the whole "God might say...." answer. I'm an atheist through and through.  If there is something beyond this body when it finally craps out on me, I'd like to think it's another one, because there's still so much to learn and experience. I hope we get more than one chance even if we don't know it. All matter remains matter, right?    

Besides, I'm a redhead. We steal souls, one per freckle, apparently. Pretty sure that'd send me right down to the Abyss instead, and the Devil would be welcoming me as his right-hand woman since I have innumerable freckles, so clearly I brought a LOT of business with me. 

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@Cole Matthews

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What is your idea of earthly happiness?  

These are interesting questions, to which my answer is about the same.  I believe we were born to do good  and help others by being ourselves.  I believe that for a person to achieve happiness, they strive and work toward becoming their best self.  This path and series of achievements are the most positive possible manifestations of happiness.  True joy comes from your work and effort during the process of becoming you.  I'm always happiest when  I've done my best.  Success for me isn't winning, per se.  The honest, earnest attempt is the achievement.

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? 

When I arrive at the pearly gates, I hope God says, "Good job!  You have done more good in the world than ill.  You've atoned when you trespassed.  Your soul is shining with the light of your happiness.  You are tried to be a good example and to ease suffering of all kinds in others. Sometimes you've fallen short, but you never gave up.  Welcome home!" 

Thanks for the great questions! 

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@Comicality

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What profession would you not like to do?

What job would I NOT like to do? Healthcare. Definitely.  

I'm a huge empath, and I can't bear to see people sick or in pain. Especially kids. I worked in an animal hospital for a few months when I was in high school, and I didn't have the stomach for it. Poor animals... I can't hack it.

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Hehehe, and if I got to the pearly gates, I'd love to hear God say, "You know..you just BARELY made it here!" LOL! I'm not an evil person, but I'd love to know that I had some 'fun' while I was alive.  

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@comicfan

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What is your motto? 

No matter what, find a way. I've had more than my share of issues and, while it might take a while, I find a way to do the things I need to.

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? 

Finally! Do you know that number of people and pets that have been waiting for you?

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@Defiance19

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What are you most proud of? 

The what, is my ability in knowing when and how to be patient. It has served me well as an educator, and as a mostly single mom raising a son, of whom I am most proud. Today I look at the man he has become, I hear how people speak of him, how they see him, and my heart swells. I like knowing I maybe had a little something to do with that. 

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?  

You did good, kid. I’m sorry, and I know I have a lot to explain. Your family is waiting, but if you need to hit the wine first, it’s down this hall.  

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@Graeme

What turns you off?

That's a pretty wide-ranging question, so I'm going to narrow it to just my reading habits. My other habits are private... 

I like stories that go somewhere. I'm pretty tolerant, but if a story doesn't appear to progress, I'll eventually stop reading. For example, I stopped reading Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series after ten books because, while lots of things were happening, the overall plot seemed to be going nowhere. I know that series is now complete, but after giving up on it, I haven't been able to find the motivation to go back and purchase the final few books in the series. 

The other big thing that turns me off are stories that feel forced. I like stories to flow naturally, and too much forcing turns me off. That's why there are some TV series that I initially liked, but then stopped watching because the writers forced things too much. Superhero/supervillain stories are a good example of what I'm talking about. Writers tend to introduce more and more powerful supervillains, which starts an arms race of more and more powerful superheroes...and it doesn't end well. 

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say, when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

I thought it was supposed to be St. Peter who met people at the Pearly Gates? 

Seriously, though, what I'd like to hear is "Thank you for helping people." The best praise I've ever received from a reader was being told that I had made a difference. That particular email still makes me proud and happy. That's the sort of thing I'd like to be recognised and remembered for when I leave this mortal world.

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@Parker Owens

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What sound or noise do you hate? 

Generally, I prefer sweet, close harmony and sounds that incline to melody. And I hate insistent, high pitched alarm sounds that keep me from thinking.

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“Hello, Parker. We've been waiting for you. What would you like to drink?”

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@Mann Ramblings

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What do you regard as the lowest depths of misery? 

That's a hard one. I imagine nothing goes lower than when despite all your best efforts, all your struggles and good intentions, the universe conspires against you and you still fail, causing you to lose the most precious thing you have, be it a person, place, or thing.

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

 "Good to see you! Your friends are at the martini bar and since I knew you were coming, I collected that rugby team and muscle bear lineup you like so much to keep you occupied for an eternity or two. Everyone's waiting for you inside. You know the drill, clothing optional."

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@Valkyrie

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What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

This is a difficult question because I love my profession.  What people may not know is I'm actually on my second profession.  I worked as a horse trainer/riding instructor for quite a few years before becoming a speech-language pathologist. In some ways, it was my dream profession, even though I had to give it up for physical reasons.  If I had my choice of professions to try, I would say teaching English or literature, or even being a chef, since I like to cook.  Or something involving travel, since I like to do that too 

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If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

That I lived a good, meaningful life.

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There you have it! Thirteen authors for Issue # 13. There are a few more like these I’ll share over the next couple of months. I hope that was as enjoyable to read for you as it was for me.