[Jack Scribe] DESERT FANTASIES

[hatterass]

Things seem to be simmering down on the "war" front, and I loved the car scene... I especially liked the concluding Dickens paraphrase, but I have to wonder... Are things going too good? In other words, is another shoe about to drop? (What can I say; I'm paranoid... )

 

Great chapter, Jack!

I was wondering the same thing. Lou's SUV is just sitting there in the condo's garage, just waiting for someone (Spike's brother Henry?) to start it up and set off the bomb that the bad guys planted. I hope that doesn't happen. I really like Spike, and I don't want that to happen to him.

 

I'm really enjoying the story, though.

 

hatterass

[GaryK]

Hi hatterass.

 

That's a scary thought.

 

I assumed Gallant Security had checked the SUV and Jack just forgot to mention it because it would be practically a given.

 

However Spike did notice the SUV was still dusty as he returned home which leads me to wonder if anybody has checked it out.

 

I guess we'll just have to wait and see what sort of evil lurks in the mind of Jack.

[Jack Scribe]

Hi hatterass.

 

That's a scary thought.

 

I assumed Gallant Security had checked the SUV and Jack just forgot to mention it because it would be practically a given.

 

However Spike did notice the SUV was still dusty as he returned home which leads me to wonder if anybody has checked it out.

 

I guess we'll just have to wait and see what sort of evil lurks in the mind of Jack.

My mind is running out of evil lurks. Gallant Security would have checked out the vehicle and Spike did plan on washing the car when he noticed the dust.

 

Just another day on the 'back forty' in Vegas.

 

Jack

[Tiger]

Awwwww... I really loved the latest chapter. I was wondering when Cray and Michael would finally go there.

[GaryK]

Thanks for clearing that up Jack. However please don't let all the evil stop lurking in your mind. Some of it is essential to your great stories.

 

Hi Tiger. I just posted a comment in your blog. I also just started reading the first chapter of Second Chances.

[MikeL]

"Family Planning", Chapter 23 of Desert Fantasies has been posted.

[GaryK]

Thanks, as always, for the notice of a new chapter, Mike. I can hardly wait to start reading it. IIRC Henry is going to be in town in this chapter. It should be very interesting.

 

[MikeL]

Thanks, as always, for the notice of a new chapter, Mike. I can hardly wait to start reading it. IIRC Henry is going to be in town in this chapter. It should be very interesting.

 

Henry does arrive, but Chapter 24 may have more about his visit. In this chapter, plans for the Gallian family businesses are revealed along with some welcome news for Drew and Spike among others.

[GaryK]

Yep, I just finished reading it. It wasn't a very exciting chapter but it was certainly needed. It seemed to set the stage for a lot of big things in the future. Which ultimately means Desert Fantasies or its sequel(s) have a long life ahead of it. And that makes me very happy.

 

Another well done chapter, Jack. Even when things aren't exactly exciting I still enjoy your writing. Loved the reference to Bette Davis.

[Jack Scribe]

It wasn't a very exciting chapter but it was certainly needed. It seemed to set the stage for a lot of big things in the future. Which ultimately means Desert Fantasies or its sequel(s) have a long life ahead of it. And that makes me very happy.

 

Another well done chapter, Jack. Even when things aren't exactly exciting I still enjoy your writing. Loved the reference to Bette Davis.

Uh, oh. Setting the stage was definitely on my mind and I realized that it wasn't too exciting. Just hope it isn't boring.

 

Originally, Chapter 23 was "The End". However, by the time I had prepared the final draft, the length was almost two chapters. I made the decision to take a logical break and finish up next week. Maybe I over-engineered it?

 

Let me ask the readers this: on other editions (GA is the early read), should I re-attach Ch. 24, make it 18 or so pages and make it one final chapter? I need your feedback.

 

Jack

[GaryK]

Uh, oh. Setting the stage was definitely on my mind and I realized that it wasn't too exciting. Just hope it isn't boring.

 

Originally, Chapter 23 was "The End". However, by the time I had prepared the final draft, the length was almost two chapters. I made the decision to take a logical break and finish up next week. Maybe I over-engineered it?

 

Let me ask the readers this: on other editions (GA is the early read), should I re-attach Ch. 24, make it 18 or so pages and make it one final chapter? I need your feedback.

 

Jack

 

It was not boring, Jack. That's why I told you I thought it was another well done chapter and that even when things aren't exciting I still love your writing. Stop worrying about things you don't need to worry about.

 

I think 18 or so pages is worthy of its own chapter if it adds something substantial to the story before bringing this portion of the story to an end. If not then I'd recommend including it in Chapter 23 and calling it "The End".

 

I do hope you're planning on another sequel.

[GaryK]

Let me ask the readers this: on other editions (GA is the early read), should I re-attach Ch. 24, make it 18 or so pages and make it one final chapter? I need your feedback.

Come on guys and gals. Jack has asked for our feedback. It's the least we can do for him after all he does for us.

[Benji]

Uh, oh. Setting the stage was definitely on my mind and I realized that it wasn't too exciting. Just hope it isn't boring.

 

Originally, Chapter 23 was "The End". However, by the time I had prepared the final draft, the length was almost two chapters. I made the decision to take a logical break and finish up next week. Maybe I over-engineered it?

 

Let me ask the readers this: on other editions (GA is the early read), should I re-attach Ch. 24, make it 18 or so pages and make it one final chapter? I need your feedback.

 

Jack

 

............Sorry for the slow response, just got in after a long weekend, as for your question, either way will works for me!

[MikeL]

Uh, oh. Setting the stage was definitely on my mind and I realized that it wasn't too exciting. Just hope it isn't boring.

 

Originally, Chapter 23 was "The End". However, by the time I had prepared the final draft, the length was almost two chapters. I made the decision to take a logical break and finish up next week. Maybe I over-engineered it?

 

Let me ask the readers this: on other editions (GA is the early read), should I re-attach Ch. 24, make it 18 or so pages and make it one final chapter? I need your feedback.

 

Jack

Jack, without reading the final chapter (must it end so soon?), I can't really answer your question. I think Chapter 23 is certainly good enough -- as always -- to stand on its own and is not boring. Having read all of your stories posted on GA, I doubt you have over-engineered anything. I look forward to Chapter 24 and to your next story.

 

You are great. Thanks.

[Jack Scribe]

Jack, without reading the final chapter (must it end so soon?), I can't really answer your question. I think Chapter 23 is certainly good enough -- as always -- to stand on its own and is not boring. Having read all of your stories posted on GA, I doubt you have over-engineered anything. I look forward to Chapter 24 and to your next story.

Thanks, guys. I'm banking on Chapter 24, next week, standing on its own and being well-received.

 

Jack

[C James]

I'm late in reading (It's been a hectic week) but I've had an inkling that that story might be coming to a close now that the takeover has been defeated. Cray is where he needs to be, and things are looking good.

 

I can't answer the question on 24 as I don't know what is in it, but I thought 23 was a good chapter on its own.

CJ

[Tiger]

Thanks, guys. I'm banking on Chapter 24, next week, standing on its own and being well-received.

 

Jack

I look forward to reading it Jack. As for 23, it was a splendid chapter.

[MikeL]

Chapter 24 of Desert Fantasies has been posted. "New Year's Eve Edited February 25, 2008 by MikeL

[Tiger]

Wow! I am definitely nominating Jack for King of Evil Cliffhangers for 2008. A cliffhanger at the end of a volume is the ultimate in cliffhanging greatness.

 

Great chapter and story overall, Jack!

[Benji]

Wow! I am definitely nominating Jack for King of Evil Cliffhangers for 2008. A cliffhanger at the end of a volume is the ultimate in cliffhanging greatness.

 

Great chapter and story overall, Jack!

 

 

.............I think I have to agree about the cliffhanger looks like the Russian mob isn't finished yet!! Cray's father coming back into the picture?? I'm glad there will be a book three Jack, otherwise you really left us hanging

 

Great story Jack, looking forward to more!!

[GaryK]

.............I think I have to agree about the cliffhanger looks like the Russian mob isn't finished yet!! Cray's father coming back into the picture?? I'm glad there will be a book three Jack, otherwise you really left us hanging

 

Great story Jack, looking forward to more!!

Lots of us haven't read the chapter yet so please use the SPOILER feature in the future. Thanks.

[MikeL]

Wow! I am definitely nominating Jack for King of Evil Cliffhangers for 2008. A cliffhanger at the end of a volume is the ultimate in cliffhanging greatness.

 

Great chapter and story overall, Jack!

The ending is indeed a cliffhanger and Jack promises a sequel titled Shifting Sands in the future. I will be looking forward to that.

 

Thanks, Jack, for a great story.

[Benji]

Lots of us haven't read the chapter yet so please use the SPOILER feature in the future. Thanks.

 

 

:wacko: .....Shouldn't you read the chapter first before coming to this thread?

[YaP]

.............I think I have to agree about the cliffhanger looks like the Russian mob isn't finished yet!! Cray's father coming back into the picture?? I'm glad there will be a book three Jack, otherwise you really left us hanging

 

Great story Jack, looking forward to more!!

 

<-- what he said

Yes, this is a really good story, and a very good last chapter. I hope the next batch is ready to be published already.. i need my weekly "Las Vegas" fix

[GaryK]

:wacko: .....Shouldn't you read the chapter first before coming to this thread?

Silly boy. I didn't know there was a new chapter until I came to this thread!

 

I wish GA offered a subscription service so we can be informed when an author has posted something new. If there is something like there here please direct me to it. Thanks.

 

Right now MikeL is my subscription service to Jack's stories so I sort of have to come here first!