[Jack Scribe] DESERT FANTASIES

[Jack Scribe]

Welcome to the forum. BTW, I was in Las Vegas two weeks ago. The growth is crazy. On the Strip acreage where my new casino in the story is located (just south of the Bellagio), there is a 6.2 billion dollar hotel/casino/resort/condo complex being built. http://www.citycenter.com/default.aspx?CMP...oogle-City_Corp.

 

Hope you enjoy the story.

 

Jack

[C James]

Welcome to the forum. Let the games begin. BTW, I was in Las Vegas two weeks ago. The growth is crazy. On the Strip acreage where my new casino in the story is located (just south of the Bellagio), there is a 6.2 billion dollar hotel/casino/resort/condo complex being built. http://www.citycenter.com/default.aspx?CMP...oogle-City_Corp.

 

Hope you enjoy the story.

 

Jack

 

It looks like it's off to a great start. Cray's actions and reactions, especially to adult authority figures, strike me as very real.

 

Looks like an interesting setup he landed in the midst of.

[Jack Scribe]

It looks like it's off to a great start. Cray's actions and reactions, especially to adult authority figures, strike me as very real.

 

Looks like an interesting setup he landed in the midst of.

Cray's going to experience some interesting situations. I swear I didn't ask O.J. Simpson to appear in Las Vegas and create a little extra excitement to promote the story. This is vintage Vegas at its wildest.

 

Jack

[C James]

Cray's going to experience some interesting situations. I swear I didn't ask O.J. Simpson to appear in Las Vegas and create a little extra excitement to promote the story. This is vintage Vegas at its wildest.

 

Jack

 

I'll bet Cray is going to expiriance some interesting situations! Vegas is an unusal and sometimes wild place, that's for sure.

[Benji]

Cray's going to experience some interesting situations. I swear I didn't ask O.J. Simpson to appear in Las Vegas and create a little extra excitement to promote the story. This is vintage Vegas at its wildest.

 

Jack

 

 

..Don't worry Jack, remember our slogan "What happens here, Stays here" Someone forgot to tell OJ, give him a snickers bars, cause he's staying here!

[Conner]

Great story, Jack, I'm really enjoying it.

 

Mario's a sweetheart...an angel with tatoos...I like that.

 

Young and cute really opens a lot ofdoors...just so long as you're careful about which ones you enter, I guess.

 

Ok, that chapter was totally warm fuzzies....which means, of course, some stuff is gonna hit the proverbial fan soon enough. I know how you authors work.

 

I'm curious about the wallet. I'm thinking Drew or Bob had a look at his ID.....and....?????

 

Conner

[wildone]

Jack,

 

I'm really enjoying the new story.

 

Cray seems to be an interesting character right from the start. I'm glad that he got away from the Stepdad, and even though he may not realize it, he got to kick his butt before he left. Then, when he could have fallen easily into the wrong crowd, he did indeed find his angel with tattoos to help him out.

 

It will be interesting to see what happens now that it appears that Bob and Drew may now know Cray's true age. Both of them seem to be on the straight and narrow and do things by the book (except working for a man who is in the mob ). Will his job stay around if Drew knows that he is actually sixteen?

 

This and many other questions are popping into my mind right now, as I hate to say you may have been influenced by CJ's writing and actually finished off that chapter with a "cliffhanger" .

 

I can't wait till the next chapter and am sure that we'll find out more about Cray's situation and how it will change with his secret being out with more than Mario (the age one that is).

 

Steve

[Lugh]

I'm curious about the wallet. I'm thinking Drew or Bob had a look at his ID.....and....?????

 

Heh.. birth certificate!

 

This could prove interesting... good job Jack.

[Benji]

Heh.. birth certificate!

 

This could prove interesting... good job Jack.

 

 

.......You really don't think that Drew or Bob would look thru his wallet do you? :wacko: Well, Jack you certainly have the Clark County Planning Commission pegged well, I haven't seen a road finished here that wasn't being continuosly torn up again. Yeah, it does seem that Cray's fortunate run is too good to be true, (a disclaimer for all teens thinking Vegas is a great refuge) sadly, this is not the case. Great story looking forward to more!!!

[TalonRider]

If Drew and Bob have discovered Cray's true age, I don't think they will use it against him. If anything, they will try to get the story out of him. I also think they would then stick to the big brother angle to try and help him.

 

You forgot something Wildone, CJ doesn't do cliffhangers, or so he says.

 

Nice chapter Jack. Can't wait for the next one.

 

Jan

[Jack Scribe]

Don't worry Jack, remember our slogan "What happens here, Stays here" Someone forgot to tell OJ, give him a snickers bars, cause he's staying here!

Benji, The Vegas authorities were so anxious to get O.J. out of town. He's not that good for business.

 

I'm curious about the wallet. I'm thinking Drew or Bob had a look at his ID.....and....?????

Just a baby cliffhanger, Connor.

 

This and many other questions are popping into my mind right now, as I hate to say you may have been influenced by CJ's writing and actually finished off that chapter with a "cliffhanger".

No one, Steve, can out cliffhang CJ. I'm a novice by comparision. Although I understand that ShadowGod does a pretty good job.

 

If Drew and Bob have discovered Cray's true age, I don't think they will use it against him. If anything, they will try to get the story out of him. I also think they would then stick to the big brother angle to try and help him.

Good point, Jan. You've spotted a key part of the plot.

 

The first couple of chapters made several readers a little nervous. However, the story is just starting to unfold and there are still other characters that need to make an appearance. We will go several directions through the fall (and winter) and experience a few dark moments along the way. But, all in all, I think you'll enjoy the ride.

 

 

Jack

[Benji]

Benji, The Vegas authorities were so anxious to get O.J. out of town. He's not that good for business.

 

Just a baby cliffhanger, Connor.

 

No one, Steve, can out cliffhang CJ. I'm a novice by comparision. Although I understand that ShadowGod does a pretty good job.

 

Good point, Jan.

 

The first couple of chapters made several readers a little nervous. However, the story is just starting to unfold and there are still other characters that need to make an appearance. We will go several directions through the fall (and winter) and experience a few dark moments along the way. But, all in all, I think you'll enjoy the ride.

 

 

Jack

 

........Yeah and no, the City Fathers don't want him here (Image HAH!!) but business was good for downtown, with those extra 2 thousand newshounds & company. Now I have got to say that either you come to Vegas often or once lived here with your descriptions of the strip and getting around and such. Keep up the good work Jack, looking forward to more on this series!

[C James]

Hrrrrmmmm, methinks they found something they don't like in Cray's wallet...

[EMoe57]

I put off starting this story until you had a few chapters out so I'd be able to get the feel for it... and I read right into a cliffie

 

You've a good base with the previous storyline and maintain the continuity here while building from a different angle. I like what you've got so far, Jack!

 

Just a baby cliffhanger, Connor.

 

...

 

No one, Steve, can out cliffhang CJ. I'm a novice by comparision. Although I understand that ShadowGod does a pretty good job.

That is how they start, Jack! Just so NO!

[C James]

Benji, The Vegas authorities were so anxious to get O.J. out of town. He's not that good for business.

 

Just a baby cliffhanger, Connor.

 

No one, Steve, can out cliffhang CJ. I'm a novice by comparision. Although I understand that ShadowGod does a pretty good job.

 

Good point, Jan. You've spotted a key part of the plot.

 

The first couple of chapters made several readers a little nervous. However, the story is just starting to unfold and there are still other characters that need to make an appearance. We will go several directions through the fall (and winter) and experience a few dark moments along the way. But, all in all, I think you'll enjoy the ride.

Jack

 

I'd say this was a pretty darn good cliffhanger (though, I feel the need to remenind everyone; I never use them myself).

 

My guess is; I agree with Jan, they've discovered his true age.

[TalonRider]

When it comes to cliffhangers, whether intentional or unintentional, they still happen. Some authors write them in, others don't. I think the real cliffhangers are the ones that a story doesn't get update for weeks at a time. They keep you waiting for the next chapter. Those could be consider cliffhangers.

 

Jan

[Jack Scribe]

I think the real cliffhangers are the ones that a story doesn't get update for weeks at a time. They keep you waiting for the next chapter. Those could be consider cliffhangers.

I agree, Jan. Unless the San Andres fault erupts - it runs through Palm Springs - the chapter updates will occur weekly into the winter. And Chapter Four (due 9/26) has no cliffhanger. Just a few questions that hover in the background.

 

A technical second: I write several chapters in advance to give the reader a timely continuity. It also allows me to go back to earlier chapters and adjust certain aspects to match with how everything turned out.

 

BTW, to answer Benji's question, I worked in Las Vegas several years ago at Caesars Palace and was back on a management consultant project at Lake Las Vegas two years ago. Saying that...I LOVE GOOGLE for factiod searches.

 

Jack

[C James]

I agree, Jan. Unless the San Andres fault erupts - it runs through Palm Springs - the chapter updates will occur weekly into the winter. And Chapter Four (due 9/26) has no cliffhanger. Just a few questions that hover in the background.

 

A technical second: I write several chapters in advance to give the reader a timely continuity. It also allows me to go back to earlier chapters and adjust certain aspects to match with how everything turned out.

 

BTW, to answer Benji's question, I worked in Las Vegas several years ago at Caesars Palace and was back on a management consultant project at Lake Las Vegas two years ago. Saying that...I LOVE GOOGLE for factiod searches.

 

Jack

 

 

I am very much looking forward to 9-26, then.

 

Seriously though, looking forward to seein how the cliffhanger resolves! I still think they discovered Cray's age.

[Jack Scribe]

I am very much looking forward to 9-26, then.

Seriously though, looking forward to seein how the cliffhanger resolves! I still think they discovered Cray's age.

 

Here's Chapter Four: http://jackscribe.gayauthors.org/desert/Chapter4.php.

 

Jack

[wildone]

What a great surprise to wake up to .

 

I will wait to comment as to not spoil anybody's enjoyment.

 

Steve

[C James]

Looks like things are looking up for Cray!

 

JAn was right about the cliffhanger; it was his age they'd discovered.

[TalonRider]

Looks like things are looking up for Cray!

 

JAn was right about the cliffhanger; it was his age they'd discovered.

Actually, it wasn't THAT hard to figure out. It's only natural to look to see who a wallet belongs too, even if you may already know. I'm glad he did open up to them and tell his story to them. I'm also glad to see they are willing to get him moved to another location. I think if Cray was to stay there too long problems could develop. I don't entirely trust some of the residents we've met so far at the house.

 

I also am beginning to think that despite their ages, Mario may be developing feelings for Cray, other than the love of a brother. It's not the age difference so much that's the issue but Cray's real age. Given Mario's profession, that could spell big problems, even if nothing happens between them. I do like the fact, that Mario is willing to help He's probably seen guy's hit rock bottom in his line of work.

 

Good chapter, Jack.

 

Jan

[Conner]

Another great chapter, Jack!

 

I'm pleased Cray is allowing himself to trust a few people. In his situation, it would be extremely difficult. Seeing that protaganists are always put to the test, he'll need people to back him up.

 

Ok, so where will the first challenge come from? The obvious one would be his mother taking action to have him returned home.

 

You can post Chap 5 anytime now, Jack.

 

Conner

[wildone]

Great chapter once again Jack

 

I too wonder if the mother will come into play, but get a feeling she won't. I seem to recall something about him trying to tell his mom about his step dad, but she couldn't see past the paycheque he was bringing in. I don't think she even probably cares that Cray is missing. And probably won't, unless she sees an opportunity to make some money of the situation. Hmmmm, maybe some blackmail in the future. Which would be interesting since she would be pissing off three people who seem to have connections with two of the shadier kingpins in Vegas.

 

I also am beginning to think that despite their ages, Mario may be developing feelings for Cray, other than the love of a brother. It's not the age difference so much that's the issue but Cray's real age. Given Mario's profession, that could spell big problems, even if nothing happens between them. I do like the fact, that Mario is willing to help He's probably seen guy's hit rock bottom in his line of work.

 

Interesting idea. I didn't get that idea since Mario stated he had a girlfriend and seemed to be able to treat his job as just that, a job. Kinda reminded me of "My Own Private Idaho", where Keanu could never love River, as he believed two guys couldn't love each others, but could do the nasty to make a buck. At least that is what I was thinking when Mario explained his intentions. Maybe I'm reading too much into that.

 

Anyhow, thanks again Jack !!!

 

Steve

[Jack Scribe]

I too wonder if the mother will come into play, but get a feeling she won't. I seem to recall something about him trying to tell his mom about his step dad, but she couldn't see past the paycheque he was bringing in. I don't think she even probably cares that Cray is missing.

 

I didn't get that idea since Mario stated he had a girlfriend and seemed to be able to treat his job as just that, a job. Kinda reminded me of "My Own Private Idaho", where Keanu could never love River, as he believed two guys couldn't love each others, but could do the nasty to make a buck. At least that is what I was thinking when Mario explained his intentions.

 

Cray's mother makes an appearance in Chapter 5.

 

I love your character analogy of Mario vs. the setup in "My Own Private Idaho". I hadn't thought about that before but it makes for an interesting comparison. Mario has a sense of compassion and is able to compartmentalize his job.

 

Jan: I also am beginning to think that despite their ages, Mario may be developing feelings for Cray, other than the love of a brother. It's not the age difference so much that's the issue but Cray's real age. Given Mario's profession, that could spell big problems, even if nothing happens between them. I do like the fact, that Mario is willing to help He's probably seen guy's hit rock bottom in his line of work.

 

Mario is taking on the role of protector for the underdog. And you're right about the age difference. Even if there may be deeper feelings - which we don't actually know, but can suspect - Mario doesn't want to get into a legal snare.

 

Connor: I'm pleased Cray is allowing himself to trust a few people. In his situation, it would be extremely difficult.

 

Cray didn't have time, when he abruptly left home, to consider all the consequences of running away. Fortunately, so far, he's run into mentors who are looking after his best interests.

 

Chapter 5 takes a few abrupt turns. Unless posting problems occur again, look for the new chapter sometime Wednesday.

 

Jack