[Jack Scribe] DESERT FANTASIES

[Tiger]

Some editors are good at that, so you just need the right type of editor. Some editors will only fix spelling and major grammatical problems. Others (like my editors) will fix sentence constructs, too -- simplifying and improving them. Some authors like that (like me) and others hate it. It's a personal thing and it's just a case of getting a compatible editor.

 

As a side point, I'm yet to have a page of any of my stories without any corrections....

I would just like some suggestions. That does not mean that I have to implement them. Then again, I have noticed that thesauruses are good for mixing things up a bit. Synomyms prevent monotony.

[Graeme]

I would just like some suggestions. That does not mean that I have to implement them. Then again, I have noticed that thesauruses are good for mixing things up a bit. Synomyms prevent monotony.

Be careful with that, though. I've seen an example of someone who appears to have used a thesaurus excessively and the result was unreadable. Otherwise, good luck!

[Jack Scribe]

I would just like some suggestions. That does not mean that I have to implement them. Then again, I have noticed that thesauruses are good for mixing things up a bit. Synomyms prevent monotony.

Hi TLWT,

 

Suggest you peruse the Writer's Corner and check out past topics. I recall interesting discussions from a couple years back on several subjects that would be helpful.

 

To amplify Graeme's thoughts: each of the four readers/editors who assist me bring different talents to the table. Drew Hunt, an accomplished author who lives in the U.K. (he's sight-challenged, BTW, and uses an audible device on his computer to write/communicate), does a little grammar tweaking and gives me an overall reaction about the content. Brad, in Colorado, I affectionately call "the comma queen". He is a retired TV news producer and very precise about punctuation, proper tense and dangling whatevers. Trab, in Vancouver Island, is an editor's editor. He holds nothing back if the paragraph needs the words to be shifted around, etc. My Austin, Texas friend, Rock, drills in for the final manacure. It's maddening, after this process, that a few errors will still crop up...but they do.

 

I realize this must read very "anal retentive" but it works for me. My background - education and profession - was business. Before I discovered the joy of creative writing in this genre, my experience was primarily developing manuals, procedural guides, etc. But, like my work, I want what I write to represent the best I'm capable of creating.

 

Jack

[TalonRider]

And a very good team you have Jack.

[Tiger]

Be careful with that, though. I've seen an example of someone who appears to have used a thesaurus excessively and the result was unreadable. Otherwise, good luck!

If someone accused me of having to use a dictionary to understand some words in a story, the accusation would certainly be correct. I happen to be a bit of a nerd sometimes, so it doesn't bother me at all.

[Jack Scribe]

If someone accused me of having to use a dictionary to understand some words in a story, the accusation would certainly be correct. I happen to be a bit of a nerd sometimes, so it doesn't bother me at all.

Using reference guides isn't nerdy, it's being a competent writer. Gay Authors has a terrific link for terrific reference links: http://writers.gayauthors.org/author-resources.php.

 

Additionally, here are some off-beat ones that come in very handy:

 

http://www.urbandictionary.com/ - dedicated to current slang.

http://www.noslang.com/dictionary.php - Internet slang dictionary

http://www.effingpot.com/ - an American's guide to "Speaking British".

http://www.bored.com/findquotes/cate_757_Variety.html - famous quotes.

 

And although it's been discussed elsewhere, here's a respected author/editor's thoughts about writing gay fiction.

 

http://www.asstr.org/nifty/information/tip...ay-fiction.html - Pecman's tips

[MikeL]

Desert Fantasies, Chapter 17 has been posted.

[TalonRider]

Sweet chapter, Jack.

[YaP]

yes, a good chapter for a good story Jack !

Did i ever send you at least an email ? Because i have been following all the stories you posted at crvboy over the time, and i did like em all !

 

I do use a dictionary to look up words.. but my excuse is that i am a stupid german that just doesn't know all the words ;-)

[Conner]

Fantastic chapter, Jack!

 

The entire Spike and Lou scene was tremendous. Very romantic. Good for Spike for standing up for himself.

 

Cray will be thrilled with the news.

 

Conner

[Jack Scribe]

I do use a dictionary to look up words.. but my excuse is that i am a stupid german that just doesn't know all the words ;-)

 

I also use a dictionary, YaP. And English is my first language. I salute GA members throughout the world who navigate my stories and participate in the forums.

 

Thanks, Connor, for highlighting Spike's need to stand up to Lou. A M/M partnership, IMHO, will only survive if there is some sort of equal footing and understanding.

 

Jack

[Tiger]

I just read Chapter 17. Great chapter, Jack! Lou and Spike were made for each other.

[theschnauzers]

Lou and Spike were made for each other

 

That's one way of loooking at it.

 

In any event, Lou and Spike both owe Cray one big-time.

[Tiger]

That's one way of loooking at it.

 

In any event, Lou and Spike both owe Cray one big-time.

I'm sure they will find a way to show Cray just how grateful they are.

[C James]

Great job on 17!

 

I'm glad Spike is out the the "buisness". I bet Cray will be ecstatic.

[Tiger]

Great job on 17!

 

I'm glad Spike is out the the "buisness". I bet Cray will be ecstatic.

Yes, Spike is too good to be in the "business." He deserves much better. This story line reminds me a Pretty Woman. It's better with two men.

[Jack Scribe]

Yes, Spike is too good to be in the "business." He deserves much better. This story line reminds me a Pretty Woman. It's better with two men.

I must admit I thought about Julia and Richard when I wrote the scene. BTW, a friend of mine was working at Disney when they (the Touchstone division)were filming Pretty Woman. The original working title was "3,000" - a play on the woman's fee.

 

TLWT, you dog. How do you think the guys should pay Cray back? I'll let the reader continue that fantasy on their own.

 

Spike isn't exactly out of the business yet, CJ. He still has a few "loose ends" to handle. But Cray is happy his friend is getting out of the biz.

 

BTW, in my research, I found a data sheet on a rent boi that's for real. Even with the magnifier, however, you'll have to increase the size (of the type) more to read this.

[Tiger]

TLWT, you dog. How do you think the guys should pay Cray back? I'll let the reader continue that fantasy on their own.

 

I was thinking something a little more innocent, like a present. I was not thinking anything of an non-platonic nature.

[theschnauzers]

All I'll say is that in my last post, both sentences are deliberately ambiguous.

[MikeL]

Chapter 18 of Desert Fantasies has been posted.

 

Poor Brownie. Spike's emotions show that he is a decent person despite the seedy side of his life. He certainly deserves the change for the better awaiting him.

Edited January 16, 2008 by MikeL

[Tiger]

Chapter 18 of Desert Fantasies has been posted.

 

Poor Brownie. Spike's emotions show that he is a decent person despite the seedy side of his life. He certainly deserves the change for the better awaiting him.

I read it already. Yeah, I hope he gives it up sooner rather than later. He is too smart to be a hustler. Besides, it's cheating as far as I'm conerned.

[YaP]

Another good chapter Jack !

Is this the way Vegas works ?

lol, i have no idea.. never been there...

 

Yea, poor Mr. Brownie.... but IMHO not the worst way to go.. he had fun until his heart went out, and then it was a fast end.. no much suffering. But of course i wonder how he was connected to the "bosses" and how this will affect Spike.

I hope to find out more next week

[C James]

Hrmmm, I'm worried regarding Spike's "farewell performance" and I'm also wondering how Leo will feel about it.

 

I get a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[Jack Scribe]

Hrmmm, I'm worried regarding Spike's "farewell performance" and I'm also wondering how Leo will feel about it.

 

I get a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Spike will be very relieved when the final appointment is completed. I'm sure Spike is conflicted about this because he's entering into a partnership with Lou. However, there is a loyalty factor to his almost-former boss and he wanted to leave Mario on a positive note.

 

There may be another shoe dropping, but from an unsuspecting foot.

 

This story, Yap, is a fictional fantasy. the Las Vegas casino industry is controlled by very large corporations, many publically-traded. However, like any large international city, there is an underbelly of crime that slithers around. In the early days in Vegas, the mob from Detroit was very powerful.

 

Jack

[Benji]

Spike will be very relieved when the final appointment is completed. I'm sure Spike is conflicted about this because he's entering into a partnership with Lou. However, there is a loyalty factor to his almost-former boss and he wanted to leave Mario on a positive note.

 

There may be another shoe dropping, but from an unsuspecting foot.

 

This story, Yap, is a fictional fantasy. the Las Vegas casino industry is controlled by very large corporations, many publically-traded. However, like any large international city, there is an underbelly of crime that slithers around. In the early days in Vegas, the mob from Detroit was very powerful.

 

Jack

 

 

....... You got that right, the Mayor is trying to get the Mob Museum up and running.