Make us laugh!

[Slytherin]

[MikeL]

     

A foursome of guys is waiting at the mens tee while a foursome of
women is hitting from the ladies' tee.

The ladies are taking their time. 
When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it 10 feet.  Then
she goes over and whiffs it completely.

Then she hacks it another ten feet and finally hacks it another five feet.

She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically, "I guess
all those " F---ING  LESSONS" I took over the winter didn't help.'"

One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it. You should have
taken "golf lessons" instead!"

 

        He never even had a chance to duck.

        He was 43...

       

[MikeL]

Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!
He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about, 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'

The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If we get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us.

Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Immediately, there was the answer. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really fine women in this cave!'

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might: 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Then he heard an answering call, 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!' With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The next day, the headline of the newspaper read: NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN

[Astro]

This guy decided to make a trade. 

 

[MikeL]

Old guys are helpful ...

 

An old guy was in Costco the other day, pushing his shopping cart
around, when he collided with a young guy also pushing a cart.

 

He said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for
my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

 

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's just a coincidence. I'm
looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little
desperate.

 

The old guy said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What
does your wife look like?"

 

The young guy says, "Well, she is 24 years old, tall, with
long blond hair, green eyes, long legs, big boobs and she's wearing
tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?"

 

The old guy says, "Doesn't matter. Let's look for yours."

Most old men are helpful like that.

Edited April 13, 2014 by MikeL

[Astro]

 

This would make me feel super guilty...

[JamesSavik]

[Astro]

[Slytherin]

 

 I love Dr Evil !

[JamesSavik]

[Andy78]

[Slytherin]

You are evil, Andy !!! Grrrr  !!

 

[Andy78]

LBO may or may not want to view this

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Slytherin]

I don't want to look... How do you add a "spoiler"-thingy ????

[Andy78]

Inside square brackets [ ] you type the word spoiler at the start of what you want to hide and then type \spoiler at the end.

[Slytherin]

 

 

 

 

Edited April 18, 2014 by slytherin

[Andy78]

Sorry typed the slash the wrong way.

 

It should be

at the end

[TalonRider]

There's another way to do it.

To the left of the the Font button a button for Special BBCodes. Click on the dropdown menu and scroll down to Spoiler. When you click on Spoiler, a box appears to type your text into.

[Andy78]

Thanks Jan.  I never knew that.

 

Been here two and half years and still learning new things

[Ron]

There's another way to do it.

I didn't know that either. How come the shortcut for quote isn't there? How come, how come, how come . . . yeah, I know. 

[Red_A]

 

If you go to the second line and 11icons in "speech bubble" thereis your quote box

Click outside box to exit quote box

[Ron]

 

Son of a gun!!

And there it is.  Thank you forum fiend, Red_A.

[Astro]

I like the talking on here. I think the forum is like a puppy...

 

[Slytherin]

[JamesSavik]

Edited April 21, 2014 by jamessavik