Not my turn by Emulated

[Graeme]

Not my turn by Emulated

 

Aaron was days away from coming out when his brother held a family meeting...

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[Red_A]

It is never as bad as you think. This is a story that every gay person should read, the story is a delight.

[Andrew Q Gordon]

Emu,

 

Great story. Aaron's unconditional support for his brother in his greatest time of need was handled really well. Ash's fear, Aaron's quick defense, his confronting his parents, daring their wrath to shield his brother is a great theme. But even better was how Aaron drew on his brother's actions to find his own courage to do what he most wanted - be open about who he was.

 

Well done, I enjoyed it.

 

Andy

[AnytaSunday]

Heya,

 

I really enjoyed myself with this story. I guess I especially liked there was a little sticking up of straight people in it too. (each to their own, right? And acceptance to all.)

 

I thought the timeline (the flashbacks) were really well done and added to the suspense of the story. I felt an active part while reading it too.

 

 

I'll be on the lookout for other stories you write. All the best,

 

Anyta

[Lugh]

hey Emulated!

 

That was a smooth read. I liked the dual use of the theme. Good job.

[Nephylim]

that was freaking aweseome. The scene with Ash telling his parents was fab... it was such a change from the usual coming out. It was his own coming out and the result was pretty much the same.

 

 

You dealt with the emotions wonderfully and I was there with them all the way.

 

 

And the ending was perfect. All in all it was the perfect short story.

 

 

[Benji]

.............. A great story, loved the way you had us hanging there for awhile on what Ash had said that set his parents off like that! Of course, I thought, as I'd guess many of the readers did, that Ash beat Aaron first in the admission being gay. It was great the way he defended his brother and left giving his parents time to cool down and let Ash calm back down. I was a bit surprised about the pregnancy , but I guess Evan wasn't he certainly deserved Aaron's attention!! The ending was the beginning, it was definately Aaron's turn! great story!! Edited September 13, 2010 by Benji

[Conner]

First of all, Johan's a sweetheart!

 

I congratulate you for your courage in addressing abortion in your story. It's an issue where people can hold very strong views but one that doesn't usually get talked about unless it's staring you in the face in the real world.

 

Bravo!!

[Graeme]

Well done, Emulated!

 

I couldn't stop when I read it. Like others, I wondered what Ash had said, and wondered if he's come out, but there were enough clues to indicate that that wasn't the case (Aaron's subtle warning to Johan that he wasn't alone when he returned, being one), but I didn't pick it until it was revealed.

 

Like Conner, I salute you for dealing with the tough topic of abortion, though it wasn't the core of the story. I had the impression that Aaron would have equally supported his brother if the decision had been otherwise.

 

Again, well done!

[Emulated]

Thanks everyone for all your kind comments! I'm really pleased you enjoyed reading the story!

It is never as bad as you think. This is a story that every gay person should read, the story is a delight.

Thanks, Red_A!

 

Hehe, that's quite a statement! A very kind one too.

 

Thanks!

 

 

Emu,

 

Great story. Aaron's unconditional support for his brother in his greatest time of need was handled really well. Ash's fear, Aaron's quick defense, his confronting his parents, daring their wrath to shield his brother is a great theme. But even better was how Aaron drew on his brother's actions to find his own courage to do what he most wanted - be open about who he was.

 

Well done, I enjoyed it.

 

Andy

Thanks, Andy!

 

All of Aaron's own fear about coming out went straight out of the window when his brother was on the firing line, which was one thing I enjoyed writing about. And as you said, by the end of the story, he was ready to finally tell his parents, perhaps drawing on what he learned during his brother's ordeal.

 

Thanks!

 

Heya,

 

I really enjoyed myself with this story. I guess I especially liked there was a little sticking up of straight people in it too. (each to their own, right? And acceptance to all.)

 

I thought the timeline (the flashbacks) were really well done and added to the suspense of the story. I felt an active part while reading it too.

 

 

I'll be on the lookout for other stories you write. All the best,

 

Anyta

Thanks, AnytaSunday!

 

I really, really hate that b-word. It's bigotry, pure and simple. I very much agree with 'acceptance to all'.

 

I was a little unsure of how well the timeline/flashbacks would work. I didn't want to drag things on toooo far, but also keep them at bay just long enough. I'm glad it worked well for you.

 

Other stories? (Removes other stories from eFiction!)

 

Thanks!

 

 

hey Emulated!

 

That was a smooth read. I liked the dual use of the theme. Good job.

Thanks, Lugh!

 

I didn't want the main theme (the pregnancy) to dominate the entire story so I balanced it out (through the flashbacks) to make it happen.

 

Thanks!

 

that was freaking aweseome. The scene with Ash telling his parents was fab... it was such a change from the usual coming out. It was his own coming out and the result was pretty much the same.

 

 

You dealt with the emotions wonderfully and I was there with them all the way.

 

 

And the ending was perfect. All in all it was the perfect short story.

 

 

Thanks, Nephy!

 

Yep, it really was a coming out of sorts. Unfortunately, the outcome was the same as what many would expect...

I was debating ending the story with, "I'm pregnant."

 

Thanks!

 

.............. A great story, loved the you had us hanging there for awhile on what Ash had said that set his parents off like that! Of course, I thought, as I'd guess many of the readers did, that Ash beat Aaron first in the admission being gay. It was great the way he defended his brother and left giving his parents time to cool down and let Ash calm back down. I was a bit surprised about the pregnancy , but I guess Evan wasn't he certainly deserved Aaron's attention!! The ending was the beginning, it was definately Aaron's turn! great story!!

Thanks, Benji!

 

HA! Got you in the trap! But yeah, I liked the idea of playing around with the timeline to move things about a bit. In the end I think it worked out quite well, and the effect worked.

 

Hehe, I'd have given Evan a punch too!

 

Yeah, the story really doesn't end with the last line, but our observation of it does...

 

Thanks!

 

First of all, Johan's a sweetheart!

 

I congratulate you for your courage in addressing abortion in your story. It's an issue where people can hold very strong views but one that doesn't usually get talked about unless it's staring you in the face in the real world.

 

Bravo!!

Thanks, Conner!

 

Oh, Johan's a real beauty. (Behind the scenes extra: He's a Swedish beauty too! )

 

You're right there, it is quite a topical issue with many viewpoints. I really wanted to remain neutral through the story, yet portray how the characters 'wanted' the abortion as it was the choice that provided the least amount of repercussions.

 

Thanks!

 

Well done, Emulated!

 

I couldn't stop when I read it. Like others, I wondered what Ash had said, and wondered if he's come out, but there were enough clues to indicate that that wasn't the case (Aaron's subtle warning to Johan that he wasn't alone when he returned, being one), but I didn't pick it until it was revealed.

 

Like Conner, I salute you for dealing with the tough topic of abortion, though it wasn't the core of the story. I had the impression that Aaron would have equally supported his brother if the decision had been otherwise.

 

Again, well done!

Thanks, Graeme!

 

There were a few clues, but I didn't leave many. I wanted the first thought to have been a 'coming out', but enough questions to have something bugging the reader at the back of your mind. Until, of course, it comes out.

 

Again, tying in with the above, abortion was something I wanted to bring up, but to not make it the main focus. And you're absolutely right, Aaron would have definitely supported his brother had he really come out.

 

Thanks!

[Cia]

Wonderful story Em!! You definitely led the reader into believing the younger brother Ashley was coming out but I thought that was just a tad too formulaic for you I was waiting for the twist. The scene at the park bench was what clinched it for me, I just had to think that it would have gone differently had they both been gay. Aaron is the embodiement of the responsible older brother. I had a sister, much closer to me in age, but with it just the 2 of us as the older one she often took care of me, bearing the brunt of things when times were difficult. It's so very wonderful to see you write a relationship like that into what was a very emotional story overall.

 

 

I wonder though... would Ashley's confession and the resulting reaction by his parents make them think twice before they lose their cool after Aaron's reveal or would it make it worse? His dad could become angrier in reaction, blowing all things out of proportion because it's been too much for him. Or he could have realized that he ran the risk of losing his children with his behavior and will react in a more positive or at least neutral manner. I think that is the heart of what most people fear when they 'come out'. Very well done. Thank you for the great read!

[TalonRider]

I had the pleasure of editing this wonderful story, his second Anthology btw, and this was my comment at the end of the story.

 

Everything that I

[hh5]

That gay bar seen ... the guy speak as the world should be made up non-breeders ... that does hits home .... or add insult to injury - not a great place to talk over a family issue.

 

Its good that finally the mother steps in JIT to save the family from self destruction and to have an older brother to rescue the younger.

 

Nice touch of questioning the protection ... and ... it happens ... Little brothers big lesson ... become big brothers Lesson for courage,

 

It sounds like a family that's a little rough around the edges ... rather than explodes and family fragments are all over the place.

 

Now when can we tease Matt and Jamie vs Arron and Johan - for the Breeders Cup?

[Toast]

Thank you for your story, I enjoyed it. I liked that it was multifaceted. I also liked that everyone eventually worked together to find a solution. That gives me hope for Aaron and his turn.

[Emulated]

Wonderful story Em!! You definitely led the reader into believing the younger brother Ashley was coming out but I thought that was just a tad too formulaic for you I was waiting for the twist. The scene at the park bench was what clinched it for me, I just had to think that it would have gone differently had they both been gay. Aaron is the embodiement of the responsible older brother. I had a sister, much closer to me in age, but with it just the 2 of us as the older one she often took care of me, bearing the brunt of things when times were difficult. It's so very wonderful to see you write a relationship like that into what was a very emotional story overall.

 

 

I wonder though... would Ashley's confession and the resulting reaction by his parents make them think twice before they lose their cool after Aaron's reveal or would it make it worse? His dad could become angrier in reaction, blowing all things out of proportion because it's been too much for him. Or he could have realized that he ran the risk of losing his children with his behavior and will react in a more positive or at least neutral manner. I think that is the heart of what most people fear when they 'come out'. Very well done. Thank you for the great read!

Thanks, Cia!

 

The opening was one of the things I toyed around with. I didn't want to come out with, "My girlfriend's pregnant." Neither did I want to do anything that'd make a direct allusion to that fact straight away. So instead I made it a coming out, a coming out about the pregnancy.

 

Out of my five stories I've written/writing so far, 4 of the protagonists have siblings. It's a dynamic I really like to focus on. It's a great thing to write about and can lead to some really special moments.

 

Hmm, some interesting points you make there. Both outcomes are possible, and while I hope for the best, there's still a possibility the worst could occur. Even though I left the story with "I'm gay." I never decided on what the reply would be, or even if it'd be a positive one. I left it up for everyone to decide for themselves... myself included.

 

 

I had the pleasure of editing this wonderful story, his second Anthology btw, and this was my comment at the end of the story.

 

Everything that I've read is believable, not that I'm saying it's made up. I can see it happening like that.

 

You made a good choice for the title.

 

It won't do you any good to delete your stories in eFiction. I've got copies, remember.

Thanks, Talon!

 

As with my other High-school stories, the anthologies in particular, I really strive to make them as realistic as possible. I like the idea of them reflecting real life.

 

Nooo! You need to delete those copies!

 

That gay bar seen ... the guy speak as the world should be made up non-breeders ... that does hits home .... or add insult to injury - not a great place to talk over a family issue.

 

Its good that finally the mother steps in JIT to save the family from self destruction and to have an older brother to rescue the younger.

 

Nice touch of questioning the protection ... and ... it happens ... Little brothers big lesson ... become big brothers Lesson for courage,

 

It sounds like a family that's a little rough around the edges ... rather than explodes and family fragments are all over the place.

 

Now when can we tease Matt and Jamie vs Arron and Johan - for the Breeders Cup?

Thanks, hh5!

 

Yeah, Evan is a bit of an ignorant boy. Aaron certainly didn't think it through properly when deciding to tell him about his business.

 

Aaron definitely learnt a thing or two from the whole experience. How he approached his coming out was changed because of what happened with Ash. Hopefully it works out well for him too.

 

Let us remember that Matt and Jamie are 4-7 years younger than the other two, and haven't been together as long.

 

Thank you for your story, I enjoyed it. I liked that it was multifaceted. I also liked that everyone eventually worked together to find a solution. That gives me hope for Aaron and his turn.

Thanks, Bugeye!

 

At the risk of repeating myself above, it was the multifaceted factor that I liked when writing the story. I was entwining two stories into one, with flashbacks taking us between them. It was an interesting experience as a writer and I came away knowing a few things that I didn't before.

 

I have faith in Aaron. He has a strong and partner, while also having the luxury of not living at home. I think things will be ok for him.

[Rilbur]

A great story, and I love the way you told it.

[Emulated]

A great story, and I love the way you told it.

Thanks, Rilbur!

 

I'm really pleased you enjoyed it.

[Bleu]

Right.... I'll give up trying to shed some new light on your story through a totally original comment. Let me just say that I enjoyed it very much. I totally believed Ashley had come out to his parents after the first few paragraphs, and I also related to Aaron's wish to come out after the first flash-back. And yeah.... I'm a sucker for coming-out stories.

 

I also very much enjoyed the dynamics of the relationship between Aaron and Johan: there is trust and understanding, patience and love. Their home is a haven where both Aaron and Ash can get away from the drama.

 

Again, like with American differences, I feel like your writing is way beyond your years.

[NightOwl88]

I loved it, very Poignant. The love betweent he brothers was very touching; made me with I had a better connection with my older brother. I hate the fact that you left it in a cliff like that but it was fitting.

 

Loved it,

best,

NightOwl

 

 

[phana14]

I started reading this story last evening and decided to give it up till morning when the abortion issue arose. I'm glad I did! I'm thinking more clearly now.

 

As a *non-aborted* baby myself, I tend to lean towards *life* (please note that I said "tend"). But for the purpose of this story I wonder if the storyline would have changed all THAT much if adoption were offered as well as abortion. Or would that have just mucked everything up? Just asking.

Emulated,

In spite of what I said above, This is an extremely well written story! If this had been *book size* I would have had to read it at one sitting. It is that good!

Not a regular plot, this one.

Thank you very much for a great story!

[Kev de Cauchery]

Oh wow~~! What a fab story. Haven't read a story for a long time that ends right at the perfect spot, and this one, this one I'll say so fabulously ended that it almost outshone the plot and story.

 

But then, the key word being "almost", I enjoy the story a lot. The emotions were vivid and I was also relieved when they decided to abort.

 

 

 

 

And I'll agree with Conner that Johan is a sweetheart. I'm actually infatuated with the name "Johan" ever since I used it once.

 

 

 

 

Great read! Thanks for the story!

 

 

[wildone]

Great story Emulated , thanks for sharing it with us all.

 

I really liked this story due to the fact as a gay man I was expecting the climax of the story to be when Aaron revealed that he was gay to his parents. I think you achieved that but gave us so much more in reaching that goat with the story of his brother and even the one of Johan and himself.

 

I may have to be different than most though on thinking Ash was gay as well. The line of their Dad saying

[Agaith]

I must say that I throughly enjoyed this story, the twist of the story that puts Aaron's issues on the backburner was a brilliant idea.

As the older brother to a younger sister reading about siblings is interesting and makes me look at the relationship I have with my sister.

As for cliffhanger, it was excellent but very naughty

I loved it enough said well done Emu