Cjay Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Out of respect for the friendship, I won't. But somehow though, who knows if my friend's ex is the one meant for me? LOL. I have to take into account that a relationship with my best friend's former lover may not work out, and that my friendship with him might come to an end, too. Would you date your best friend's ex? 1
PrivateTim Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Out of respect for the friendship, I won't. But somehow though, who knows if my friend's ex is the one meant for me? LOL. I have to take into account that a relationship with my best friend's former lover may not work out, and that my friendship with him might come to an end, too. Would you date your best friend's ex? It depends on how long they dated, how the relationship ended, what my best friend feels about it, how long ago it was and is my best friend in a relationship now. If my best friend dumped him or her, is in a relationship now, it was a three month relationship two years ago, sure..... If it is a recent break-up of a three year relationship where the ex did the dumping, no. Or at least not for a while and even then it would depend on how circumstances play out.
K.C. Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Tricky, tricky! It depends on the friend. If they are ok with it then go for it. You dont want to ruin a wonderful friendship over a "what if" Good friends are hard to find!
Dark Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Nope, definitely not. I've seen this go wrong way too many times to ever ruin a friendship by something so stupid.
TetRefine Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Nope. Happened to a friend of mine once. They were two very good friends, and one of them broke up with his girlfriend of 2 1/2 years. His best friend was dating here 3 weeks later and lets just say their friendship very quickly ended.
Cyhort Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Depends. I've always put relationships, or possible relationships, before most friendships so I'd most likely go for it unless they broke up because the ex was a horrible person or something. It's kinda moot for me though since I don't have a best friend right now, lol.
Ramon Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Generally, no. It's not worth risking a good friendship. I won't say absolutely not though. If, for example, they broke up amicably four years ago, the ex remained our friend, and I started to like the ex, then I'll talk to my best friend about it and sort of ask permission or something.
Michael9344 Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 No. I know I won't like it if I saw my (best) friend hanging to the shoulder of my ex. It's not just about the fact that he/she is dating my leftovers, but I expect he/she to understand that it will hurt me. So I won't - willingly - get myself in a relationship with my friend's ex. But as ppl here have already said, sometimes, it depends on circumstances.
Dark Princess Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 NEVER! Never ever ever date the best friend's ex. Even if they say its ok and they just want you to be happy, DONT! It causes massive problems between the friends and the partner.
TrevorTime Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Nope, not in a million years. It just leads to problems and drama down the road.
Goedric Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Have to play devils advocate or maybe just the devil. My answer is absolutely, without a doubt I am 100% sure I would date a lovers ex as long as i gave them time to make up and change their minds. And i wouldnt not hide the fact. I would be very open about it and i would give my friend notice so he wasnt surprised. Everyone seems to be concerned about losing a friend, - sorry but id be more concerend about losing a potential life partner. If the feeling was mutual and their old relationship was over its fair game. And my friend should be happy for me. If not, he (or she) wasnt really a good friend. We are not talking about breaking up your friends relationship. Its already over. anyway thats the way i see it. 1
Nephylim Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Why not? But only if I was absolutely sure that my friend was over them. It also depends on why they split. If it was becasue the ex was cheating or beating them then why the hell would I want to date them.
Goedric Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Nephylim that is absolutely correct. Obviously if one is considering dating the ex of a friend, then one has done some homework and sees potential. so we really dont have to worry about the ex being an abusive or uncaring piece of garbage. SO if its over its over and everyone deserves to find someone and be happy. so if it feels right take whatever steps you can to make it easier for all and move forward. dont cheat yourself out of something thats potentially great out of fear that a friend isnt beig enough to wish you and his or her ex the best in life as well. Jeff
thephoenix Posted June 22, 2011 Posted June 22, 2011 Never ever ever ever. What if the friend wants to take back his ex? It's asking for trouble.
Greg_A Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 As with most things in life, I'd say it all depends. If the two hadn't moved on then probably not. But if their relationship was over and they had moved on then I'd have to say why not. The important thing would be to talk to your friend about it and not surprise them with it. To me the whole thing boils down to respect and love. You need to respect and love your friend enough to be honest with them and discuss the situation with them before hand. And your friend needs to respect and love you enough to get over themselves and not stand in the way of happiness over an immature grudge. To me, if the friendship isn't strong enough to handle that, then what kind of friendship was it in the first place?
Matthew k Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 Mary Sue Milliken and Susan Feniger met over 30 years ago when they were both young chefs at a top notch Chicago, Michelin starred restaurant and quickly became best friends. Mary Sue married Susan's ex-husband. Mary Sue and Susan are the Two Hot Tamale and have been business partners for 25 years now in several successful restaurants, cooking books and their own TV series. So it depends.
intune Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I wouldn't, but one of my friends dated an ex of mine. Honestly it didn't bother me, and I think if the friendship is strong enough then it's fine.
B1ue Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 I'm from a small town (less than 2000 people). The dating pool did not fluctuate for thirteen years; you couldn't help but date your best friend's ex. If you tried, eventually the only person left to date would be your best friend himself. While obviously that would have worked for me, others generally excepted to such behavior, so dating ex's became kind of a wash.
Audi Posted June 23, 2011 Posted June 23, 2011 (edited) I would Only if that best friend of mine is ok and don't mind with it. Edited June 23, 2011 by Audi
TheGreyFrost.HW Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Hell no! My best friend......."certainly knows how to pick 'em". Even if he picked good guys I wouldn't feel comfortable with it. He plays his games and they get hooked. There are a few he's remained friends with over the years. Give him 5 minutes and he will, and has, had them back in his bed.
Percivial Posted June 24, 2011 Posted June 24, 2011 Depends on the reason for their break-up. Some break-ups are peaceful, others are hurtful. I'd never date a best friends ex from the latter category.
DragonFire Posted June 25, 2011 Posted June 25, 2011 It all depends on the circumstances, who dumped who… was it an acrimonious split etc. But as a rule I would avoid it out of courtesy. 1
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