Gay Men: Are you hetero virgins?

[Mark Arbour]

In the forum topic "Paternity," the question came up as to whether or not gay men experiment, at least once, with women. So out of curiosity, and for you gay guys only, I'm wondering if, in your exploration of your sexuality, you ever took a walk on the wild side. This is NOT a public poll, so your name won't be listed.

[PrivateTim]

Not really qualified to answer as I am not gay, but a lot of my gay friends have had sexual encounters with women. My older friends (45+ or so) did it for a variety of reasons, my younger friends (<25) seem to do it out of curiosity. I would say about 1/3 of my gay friends never have and can barely even say the word vagina.

[Daddydavek]

I did not vote. However, in my generation, almost everyone I know who enjoys man to man sex has also tried sex with a woman, at least once and for some many more than that. Like all rites of passage, most everyone tried dipping their tallywhackers that way.

[Conner]

Another "poppycock" poll. There's a presupposition here that gay men cannot have sex with women. Gay men can and do have sex with women. They can even enjoy it. Believe me, if all the gay men, particularly from my generation and earlier, hadn't married (a woman) and had children, there'd be a lot fewer of us around.

 

Many of you had fathers who were gay but went to their graves with that knowledge without ever revealing it, some not even allowing themselves to admit it.

 

Today's culture/societal norms allows gay men to live their sexuality more honestly, not all gay men, but certainly the majority. So, yeah, they tend to go with what they prefer - men. That doesn't mean they are incapable of heterosexual realationships.

[Mark Arbour]

Another "poppycock" poll. There's a presupposition here that gay men cannot have sex with women. Gay men can and do have sex with women. They can even enjoy it. Believe me, if all the gay men, particularly from my generation and earlier, hadn't married (a woman) and had children, there'd be a lot fewer of us around.

 

Many of you had fathers who were gay but went to their graves with that knowledge without ever revealing it, some not even allowing themselves to admit it.

 

Today's culture/societal norms allows gay men to live their sexuality more honestly, not all gay men, but certainly the majority. So, yeah, they tend to go with what they prefer - men. That doesn't mean they are incapable of heterosexual realationships.

 

Poppycock? Actually, it was in response to a topic of discussion loosely starting here.

 

There's no implication here that gay men can't or don't have sex with women. In fact, it's just the opposite. Sigh.

[Matthew k]

Another "poppycock" poll. There's a presupposition here that gay men cannot have sex with women. Gay men can and do have sex with women. They can even enjoy it. Believe me, if all the gay men, particularly from my generation and earlier, hadn't married (a woman) and had children, there'd be a lot fewer of us around.

 

Many of you had fathers who were gay but went to their graves with that knowledge without ever revealing it, some not even allowing themselves to admit it.

 

Today's culture/societal norms allows gay men to live their sexuality more honestly, not all gay men, but certainly the majority. So, yeah, they tend to go with what they prefer - men. That doesn't mean they are incapable of heterosexual realationships.

 

Not sure where you got that there was a presupposition that gay men can't have sex with women. The question is do they. The answer is some do, some don't. Some gay men might not be capable of having sex with a woman. They might not be able to arise to the challenge and that wouldn't be unusual, but by no means does it mean all men.

 

I think DaddyD had it right that for many gay men of his generation, maybe most, had sex with women because they were either trying to like it like Brussel sprouts or they were trying to hide their sexuality. My sons generation, at least here in CA, doesn't need to conceal themselves in the same way. Will he have sex with a woman, has he had sex with a girl? I have no idea, but I do know is that if he does it will be because he wants to for his own reasons, not because he feels he has to.

 

What is poppycock is that "many of you <us> had fathers who were gay", but we or they didn't know it. The percent of men who are gay just isn't high enough for that to be true.

 

As to you Mark, it is a good question and I assume you are refering to Will since I think the question/challenge has been raised and Will loves a challenge (he is also 14, horny as hell and probably a bit curious). I hope he "closes the deal" or what ever phrase it was that Darius used. It seems most of the gay men around Will, JP, Brad, Robbie, Cody, Matt, Wade, etc have had sex with women. Stef is one of the few who I think never has.

[mmike1969]

Please define "sex"...

Oral?

Handjob?

Actual str8ish sex?

[PrivateTim]

Please define "sex"...

Oral?

Handjob?

Actual str8ish sex?

 

Ummm.... in the poll topic, "For the following choices, sex with a woman is defined as penile penetration of the vagina. Please choose the option that best describes you:"

[methodwriter85]

Stef is one of the few who I think never has.

 

No, I'm pretty sure he did mention having sex with women, at least when he was a teenager.

 

It's kinda interesting that of all the men who've had sex with both men and women, Gathan's the only one that doesn't identify as being gay. Which I like. I hope we'll meet more bisexuals at this point.

Edited December 11, 2011 by methodwriter85

[centexhairysub]

I am pretty sure that Stef did have sex with women... I am gay, 45 y/o and never had sex with woman. I have had a couple of different chances but really just never had the desire to have sex with a woman. I don't have an issue with the idea of a gay man having sex with a woman but don't understand why so many on here seem to be taking it as a fighting issue... Sex is sex enjoy it don't fight about it...

[Mark Arbour]

Remember back to the first CAP story, when Stef was banging Carol, Jeff's girlfriend.

[methodwriter85]

Remember back to the first CAP story, when Stef was banging Carol, Jeff's girlfriend.

 

I knew I was right!

 

This is a random iteration, but I always kinda wonder what would have happened had Stef and Greg had been about twenty years younger...if they would have tried having kids. I always kinda figured Stefan and Greg would have been parents who used a surrogate to have a kid if they had been a 30-something couple in the 2000's instead of the 1970's. I mean, I know that happened with JP, but that was also coupled with a straight marriage and because JP wanted to give Ace's son a home. In the 70's, to have a family meant you got married to a woman, not that you got married to a man and either adopted kids or used a surrogate. It's changing, but I've talked to gay men before who want families but have a hard time believing they can do it with another man because they just haven't seen enough of it in their own lives. Which makes me appreciate the fact that I had gay family role models growing up.

 

Tim and Max are practically screaming "future dads" at some point...it'd be cool if they adopted a little baby girl from some foreign country, as a means of reflecting some contemporating trends in the gay community. I remember walking in Rehoboth Beach and seeing these two forty-ish white dads pushing a black baby in her stroller...so cute.

Edited December 12, 2011 by methodwriter85

[Westie]

Well, I have had, and enjoyed, straight sex on a number of occasions with a number of women. I do (now) identify as gay, but I still admire and appreciate beauty and sexuality/sensuality in whatever form it takes. I do have a preference for men, to the extent that while I believe i can commit to being faithful to a man, I do not believe I could remain faithful to a woman. That is not to say that i do not find women extremely attractive, but I guess my rhythm and my mood are more suited to being with a man in a relationship context. If my life were more a series of hookups, I'm inclined to think my conquests would be more evenly distributed between male and female. They would probably incline more to female if I frequented the "gold digger" bars and clubs.

 

I also used to have a predilection for strip clubs and lapdancing clubs for straight guys, but I recognise now that it was more about the "taboo" than the fact that it was a woman shaking her extremities against my face.

[TrevorTime]

I was 17 when I had my first (and so far, only) sex with a female. Yes, I did penetrate her, but in my defense, I was somewhat under the influence of alcohol.

 

Did I enjoy it? Well I guess so, but it wasn't as satisfying as sex with a guy. Will I ever do it again? Doubtful.

[TetRefine]

Hmm, don't know how I ended up in this thread. I've always wanted to read Mark's stuff. Just too lazy to have gotten around to it. Maybe I'll start....

 

Anyway, I'll answer from the perspective of a 19 year old guy who identifies as bisexual, leaning male. I've never had sex with a girl. My entire realm of sexual experiences are confined to a couple of guys. I've done everything from bottoming to topping to sucking to getting sucked and most things in between. In high school, when I think back, I had several serious chances of getting laid with girls. I found them attractive and wanted to, but a part of me kept telling myself that I was gay and thats not what gay guys do. To me, you were either gay or straight with no middle ground.

 

Now I've matured to realize that there is a lot of middle ground, and while I fall closer to the 'prefer males' end of the spectrum, I don't putting having sex with a girl out of the possible future. Its not something I'll actively seek out like I do with guys, but if the chance comes and I want to, I won't say no.

[Arpeggio]

I have. Sometimes I wonder if im bisexual but I can't say for sure. I was sexually attracted to the girl I had sex with but only after being close to her, etc. Ive never found myself immediately attracted to females.

 

Its a hard ponder. Lol

[Mark Arbour]

Hmm, don't know how I ended up in this thread. I've always wanted to read Mark's stuff. Just too lazy to have gotten around to it. Maybe I'll start....

 

Anyway, I'll answer from the perspective of a 19 year old guy who identifies as bisexual, leaning male. I've never had sex with a girl. My entire realm of sexual experiences are confined to a couple of guys. I've done everything from bottoming to topping to sucking to getting sucked and most things in between. In high school, when I think back, I had several serious chances of getting laid with girls. I found them attractive and wanted to, but a part of me kept telling myself that I was gay and thats not what gay guys do. To me, you were either gay or straight with no middle ground.

 

Now I've matured to realize that there is a lot of middle ground, and while I fall closer to the 'prefer males' end of the spectrum, I don't putting having sex with a girl out of the possible future. Its not something I'll actively seek out like I do with guys, but if the chance comes and I want to, I won't say no.

 

You're always welcome around here. Walk in any time!

 

I have. Sometimes I wonder if im bisexual but I can't say for sure. I was sexually attracted to the girl I had sex with but only after being close to her, etc. Ive never found myself immediately attracted to females.

 

Its a hard ponder. Lol

 

And damn, it's good to see you around too!