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Hi, all. This is my first time visiting this forum. I've been reading the chapters as soon as they come out, and I'm enjoying the story. At first I was irritated by Colin's slow-on-the-uptake responses and the way he keeps forgetting to tell the cops important information. Well, I'm still irritated at his refusal to tell cops important information. :o) But he does seem to be standing up for himself more, and catching on to what's going on faster.

 

Mainly, I came here to see what people were saying about Kit being the killer. I'm sure of it. Just waiting to see how it all plays out.

 

In the meantime, Colin is surrounded by assholes, Whitehead being the biggest of them all. I've been slack jawed at the way he's treated Colin, and Colin only now, in Chapter 20, is realizing what a douche he is. Why Colin's sister like him I'll never know. I don't know where the author is going with the character, but he seems damn near irredeemable.

 

Um, also, is Billy the next victim?

Edited by Geemeedee
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Hi Geemeedee, and welcome. 

 

I think there are quite a few people to be suspicious of. Trust no one. I agree that Kit may be one of them. In hindsight, he could have easily followed Colin and Denny that night at the Duck, as he followed them outside. Also, his car parked at home, when he was out of town. It all could be nothing but coincidence. 

I also think of Derek and Hugh, high profile family and political figures who could have a lot to lose, if incriminating evidence of their lifestyle were to surface. We don't know them well yet but the upcoming dinner could change all that and up the stakes. We need motive! 

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I don't think Kit is the killer. However, I wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be law enforcement of some kind. Or a PI. I too suspect that weekend retreat (to which Kit conveniently invited himself...) will reveal a lot of things. Also, Denny's letter and that journal of his.

 

I have to say Ben is growing on me. I've even stopped calling him the brute... The reason Janet likes him must be because he is essentially a good man. Something happened to him to make him question himself (loss of a partner at work?), which has made him difficult to interact with. Also, even if he appears to enjoy the company of men, I think he's still not out. Perhaps because he hasn't met anyone worth coming out for. Until now...?

 

I do hope Billy doesn't end up dead. I'm more concerned about Roland and Lizzie...

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I don't think Kit is the killer. However, I wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be law enforcement of some kind. Or a PI. I too suspect that weekend retreat (to which Kit conveniently invited himself...) will reveal a lot of things. Also, Denny's letter and that journal of his.

 

I have to say Ben is growing on me. I've even stopped calling him the brute... The reason Janet likes him must be because he is essentially a good man. Something happened to him to make him question himself (loss of a partner at work?), which has made him difficult to interact with. Also, even if he appears to enjoy the company of men, I think he's still not out. Perhaps because he hasn't met anyone worth coming out for. Until now...?

 

I do hope Billy doesn't end up dead. I'm more concerned about Roland and Lizzie...

 

Have I not said all along that you have good instincts? Is what's happening here in the UK only related to the the UK, or something more international and more involved? Just throwing that question out there. In which case are there other governments involved? Maybe, maybe not. I hope you're with me right now and don't hate me for what's about to happen. Ouch. I'll say no more. Brian

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At first I thought Kit was law enforcement -- an American cowboy galloping in to save the day -- but I kept thinking back to how the killer was good-looking, and Tony was willing to kiss, but the killer didn't want to (DNA?).

 

And then there was the intimate knowledge of how to avoid leaving forensic evidence. If it's not Kit, good lord, is it Ben?

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Have I not said all along that you have good instincts? Is what's happening here in the UK only related to the the UK, or something more international and more involved? Just throwing that question out there. In which case are there other governments involved? Maybe, maybe not. I hope you're with me right now and don't hate me for what's about to happen. Ouch. I'll say no more. Brian

Oh no! I hope this doesn't mean something bad for brooding, subdued Billy who is thinking about something he's seen or heard...

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My first thought about Billy's behavior is that he's upset Colin hooked up with Ben and then refuses to admit it. But I may be totally wrong. :unsure:

 

And I'm :pissed: that Colin does not cotton on to the significance of the lipstick USB. I need to cool off before I go ranting in reviews. :fight:

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Ughhh am going to kill Billy for interrupting Colin the Detective! Should have called Ben wen he got the message and informed about the stalker or watcher watever he is. Love the fact that Ben is avoiding random sex and comes running to Colin:D Can't wait for the next chapter!!!

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For an educated guy, Colin can be very thick. It's a bit like watching Voltaire's Candide blunder about in the best of all worlds..

 

The bit about breaking in using the cat door is a known method of getting at the inside locks. Burglars can be very ingenious. I remember a 15 year old confiding in me how he broke into an office and stole  $50,000 from a safe without a trace. He broke in with a rubber band, a BB, and a cut piece of coat hanger wire. The safe was even easier. The guy with the safe was lazy and left the dial just to the side of the last number. The police figured it was an inside job and never were able to find out what happened. And no, the kid never was caught, but he's grown now and doesn't steal anymore. The people he took the money from were thieves in a way themselves, so it was comeuppance.

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Frankly no. The line was funny though.

 

So that means you thought of it as well, right? :D

 

 

I remember watching that movie with my mum. It was a favorite of hers.

 

I've never seen the film, but I once watched a program about a group of singers and an orchestra recording the songs with a conductor who was great fun to watch as he worked with them. And all the singers were have a blast, particularly the guys when singing 'There's Nothing Like a Dame.'

Edited by Timothy M.
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So that means you thought of it as well, right? :D

No, South Pacific is one movie/musical I've never seen. I'm familiar with the song, but it was the farthest thing from my mind.  Given the song, I see the connection though.  :)

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Hi guys and girls,

 

I have to be honest here and say that I am not happy at all with the last chapter. Drpaladin in the forum and JimP in his review summed it up when they wrote that Colin is coming across as an idiot, doing stupid things and taking ridiculous risks - and that is not what I had intended. Yes, he's more inept than a detective would be, but he's still a coherent character and I don't want readers to think that he can't have some redeeming features. Anyway, that particular chapter is going to need some massaging to get the balance right before I'm happy. 

 

So now I am being very cautious about what I'm writing before I post anything. So please hang fire a bit while I rewrite some of the subsequent chapters before posting them. Give me a couple of days.

 

Brian

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Oh, and I was preparing a speech in Colin's defence! I don't think he's an idiot. He's a guy who's ended up in something ge doesn't really understand. He doesn't want to bother Ben when he thinks he can handle things on his own (like checking out that car) and he also wants to help by gathering information he believes the police won't be able to get (such as the diary). That USB could to him be anything, so not telling Ben about that isn't stupid.

 

So in my opinion, he's doing a few stupid things, but he's not an idiot. He just doesn't want to accept that the killer is very close to him and therefore tries to go on with his life and keep busy best he can.

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Naively stupid yes, idiot no. Please keep in mind he is used to being in control in his classroom. I see him trying to regain some sense of control of situations that have spun beyond his comfort ... Vaughn, the murders, Ben and a potential move to a new life ... I think he's a bit crazy for some of what he's done but I can understand his motive.

Rework only if you truly believe you must.

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Hi guys and girls,

 

I have to be honest here and say that I am not happy at all with the last chapter. Drpaladin in the forum and JimP in his review summed it up when they wrote that Colin is coming across as an idiot, doing stupid things and taking ridiculous risks - and that is not what I had intended. Yes, he's more inept than a detective would be, but he's still a coherent character and I don't want readers to think that he can't have some redeeming features. Anyway, that particular chapter is going to need some massaging to get the balance right before I'm happy. 

 

So now I am being very cautious about what I'm writing before I post anything. So please hang fire a bit while I rewrite some of the subsequent chapters before posting them. Give me a couple of days.

 

Brian

 

Figures, just when I finally get caught up, everything slows down...:(.  Oh well, do what you have to do Brian but I think both Puppilull and dugh both make valid points regarding Colin thought process and his actions.

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Colin is not the only one being foolish, but we notice it more with him. I think Ben has been messing things up pretty badly too.

 

Apparently, he was attracted to Colin right from the start (he admits to wanting to kiss him and fuck him for weeks), and to me it sounds like 'love at first sight' or at least serious interest. But due to his fierce denial of conforming and commitment, Ben behaves like a boor and antagonizes Colin. If he'd approached matters differently, he could have had Colin eating out of his hand, and telling him everything. Ben could have sat down with Colin and gone through the exact sequences of various events and nudged his memory and gained his confidence. Colin wants to share, he's lonely and needs friends as well as a lover.

 

But yeah, it is a fine balance between having Colin make blunders to advance the story line, and annoying your readers too much, lol, But look at the bright side: this way you have 5-10 beta readers trying to help. :rofl:

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To be clear here, I never said Colin is an idiot. Things seem to slip his mind and he's done some things that were stupid. He is an ordinary person who has been thrust into a series of multiple murders. He has no background to deal with these things, few people do. I honestly think part of the charm of the story is the reader being able to say, I wouldn't do that.  I wouldn't be hasty about rewrites.

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