' Live-Poets Society ' – A Corner For Poetry

[AC Benus]

31 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

i started the first Poetry Prompt from @AC Benus' Zero to Hero book.  I've done 4 Tanka .. they seem to fit the FAQs.   🤔

 

i'll post them once i finish the last one .. argh LOL

Yay! Glad the self-check list is proving useful. Looking forward to seeing your Tanka 

[Mikiesboy]

12 hours ago, AC Benus said:

Yay! Glad the self-check list is proving useful. Looking forward to seeing your Tanka 

Tanka are emotional poems where the poet is present and guiding us through both the sights and feelings of the scene. A personal POV is all-important.[2] I can’t overstate that enough: Tanka are subjective poems rife with feelings, and because they’re not abstract, should be easy to relate to.

 

oh i think mine are missing something... like 'me' i think .. maybe not enough feeling in them.. they dont feel rife with feelings

 

1.      A biting wind blows,
so I wear my anorak
and my ear-flap cap
as I walk in the freezer
that is Mother Nature’s house.

 

I think they are Haiku-like with me, myself and i ...  ugh

Edited January 16, 2019 by Mikiesboy

[Mikiesboy]

i will go off now to think about how winter makes me feel and what i think of snowmen... 

[AC Benus]

3 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

Tanka are emotional poems where the poet is present and guiding us through both the sights and feelings of the scene. A personal POV is all-important.[2] I can’t overstate that enough: Tanka are subjective poems rife with feelings, and because they’re not abstract, should be easy to relate to.

 

oh i think mine are missing something... like 'me' i think .. maybe not enough feeling in them.. they dont feel rife with feelings

 

1.      A biting wind blows,
so I wear my anorak
and my ear-flap cap
as I walk in the freezer
that is Mother Nature’s house.

 

I think they are Haiku-like with me, myself and i ...  ugh

You have the personal POV, and that is important. We can relate to what it's like to slip into "Mother Nature's" house, so no need to beat yourself up over the poem as-is.

 

In general, the way you construct a Tanka should use the props of the world around you to be the mirror of what you are feeling. For this poem specifically, do you feel bound by the clothes needed to venture out, or you feel like you are in a safe cocoon, protected? Those might me sentiments to highlight if you want. Again, these are things other can relate to.  

 

Please let the examples in the prompt sink in a bit longer

[dughlas]

3 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

Tanka are emotional poems where the poet is present and guiding us through both the sights and feelings of the scene. A personal POV is all-important.[2] I can’t overstate that enough: Tanka are subjective poems rife with feelings, and because they’re not abstract, should be easy to relate to.

 

oh i think mine are missing something... like 'me' i think .. maybe not enough feeling in them.. they dont feel rife with feelings

 

1.      A biting wind blows,
so I wear my anorak
and my ear-flap cap
as I walk in the freezer
that is Mother Nature’s house.

 

I think they are Haiku-like with me, myself and i ...  ugh

I think you're right, it doesn't "feel". This reads more as a statement of fact than it does of "damn but it's cold outside". Does that make sense?

[Parker Owens]

I don’t think I should or could write Tanka on Riemann Sums and their relation to the definite integral, but that’s what I’m experiencing today... Think I will go outside for a walk before school lunch...

[Mikiesboy]

52 minutes ago, AC Benus said:

You have the personal POV, and that is important. We can relate to what it's like to slip into "Mother Nature's" house, so no need to beat yourself up over the poem as-is.

 

In general, the way you construct a Tanka should use the props of the world around you to be the mirror of what you are feeling. For this poem specifically, do you feel bound by the clothes needed to venture out, or you feel like you are in a safe cocoon, protected? Those might me sentiments to highlight if you want. Again, these are things other can relate to.  

 

Please let the examples in the prompt sink in a bit longer

yes i will AC ... i went in search of others too ... they all seem so nice and positive and frankly i hate winter. i have nothing nice to say about it.  we'll see ...

[AC Benus]

1 hour ago, Mikiesboy said:

yes i will AC ... i went in search of others too ... they all seem so nice and positive and frankly i hate winter. i have nothing nice to say about it.  we'll see ...

Then say nothing nice abt it! People will relate, and as far emotions go, rife with subtle emotions is perfectly valid too 

[AC Benus]

2 hours ago, Parker Owens said:

I don’t think I should or could write Tanka on Riemann Sums and their relation to the definite integral, but that’s what I’m experiencing today... Think I will go outside for a walk before school lunch...

Yes, defo get out for some air! 

[Backwoods Boy]

I might manage one Tanka a day.  I hate winter too.  Here's yesterday's impression:

 

Cold wind shakes the house

As I seek warmth in my bed,

But I search in vain

For the fire no longer burns

That once warmed me from within.

Edited January 16, 2019 by Backwoods Boy

[AC Benus]

41 minutes ago, Backwoods Boy said:

I might manage one Tanka a day.  I hate winter too.  Here's yesterday's impression:

 

Cold wind shakes the house

As I seek warmth in my bed,

But I search in vain

For the fire no longer burns

That once warmed me from within.

yes ❤️

 

I think you used the checklist and found this one fits. I'm very glad to see it. Looking forward to seeing the others you post in a collection 

[Backwoods Boy]

2 hours ago, AC Benus said:

yes ❤️

 

I think you used the checklist and found this one fits. I'm very glad to see it. Looking forward to seeing the others you post in a collection 

Thanks for the comment, and the feedback that I'm on the right track.  I have a couple more going, and I'll publish them as a group when I'm satisfied with five or so.

[Reader1810]

11 hours ago, Mikiesboy said:

Tanka are emotional poems where the poet is present and guiding us through both the sights and feelings of the scene. A personal POV is all-important.[2] I can’t overstate that enough: Tanka are subjective poems rife with feelings, and because they’re not abstract, should be easy to relate to.

 

oh i think mine are missing something... like 'me' i think .. maybe not enough feeling in them.. they dont feel rife with feelings

 

1.      A biting wind blows,
so I wear my anorak
and my ear-flap cap
as I walk in the freezer
that is Mother Nature’s house.

 

I think they are Haiku-like with me, myself and i ...  ugh

I couldn’t tell you what type of poetry this is tim, but you paint a very vivid and accurate picture of the world outside our walls. I can see it clearly, and I like that.  

[Mikiesboy]

2 minutes ago, Reader1810 said:

I couldn’t tell you what type of poetry this is tim, but you paint a very vivid and accurate picture of the world outside our walls. I can see it clearly, and I like that.  

thanks Reader .. all of them are good little poems.. they are just not quite right for Tanka.. however i will persevere.

[Reader1810]

6 hours ago, Backwoods Boy said:

I might manage one Tanka a day.  I hate winter too.  Here's yesterday's impression:

 

Cold wind shakes the house

As I seek warmth in my bed,

But I search in vain

For the fire no longer burns

That once warmed me from within.

Same as I said to tim, I couldn’t tell you the style (or whatever it’s really calle), but I really see what your poem is saying, BB.

[Mikiesboy]

32 minutes ago, Reader1810 said:

Same as I said to tim, I couldn’t tell you the style (or whatever it’s really calle), but I really see what your poem is saying, BB.

BB's is a good tanka...

[mollyhousemouse]

darn you @AC Benus!

now i'm counting syllables everywhere!

i said i'd give this a try again, and i'm doing it, but it's not easy!

[AC Benus]

17 minutes ago, mollyhousemouse said:

darn you @AC Benus!

now i'm counting syllables everywhere!

i said i'd give this a try again, and i'm doing it, but it's not easy!

Hugs 

[Parker Owens]

A draft start....

 

Clear ice on green grass,

strong enough to hold my weight

makes my steps falter

in wonder and gratitude 

for a mud-free path ahead. 

[mollyhousemouse]

ok...first, very rough draft:

A dawn with no sun

Begins yet another day

Covered in gray clouds

That suck the joy right out of

Everything i need to do

[Parker Owens]

5 minutes ago, mollyhousemouse said:

ok...first, very rough draft:

A dawn with no sun

Begins yet another day

Covered in gray clouds

That suck the joy right out of

Everything i need to do

 

I really liked this. The first line sets the emotional tone. This is definitely rife with emotion. 

[Mikiesboy]

Okay ...

 

1     Oh, winter so cold
I have always hated you
as I am forced
to wear heavy boots with soles
as thick as my resentment

 

 

Edited January 17, 2019 by Mikiesboy

[mollyhousemouse]

52 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said:

Okay ...

 

1     Oh, winter so cold
I have always hated you
as I am forced
to wear heavy boots with soles
as thick as my resentment

 

 

i like it! and it made me smile cause i hate heavy winter boots!

[dughlas]

1 hour ago, Mikiesboy said:

Okay ...

 

1     Oh, winter so cold
I have always hated you
as I am forced
to wear heavy boots with soles
as thick as my resentment

 

 

I didn't know they made boots with soles that thick. I really like this.

[Mikiesboy]

14 minutes ago, dughlas said:

I didn't know they made boots with soles that thick. I really like this.

doc martens jadon boots ...