Black Paper Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 (edited) Here’s on more I hope you enjoy. Any criticism is always welcome. I hope it may help whoever sees it. Some are happy some are sad... But, is that really so bad? The Darkness It haunts you. It wants you. There is something attacking you. There is something smacking you! It will never stop swallowing you. It will never stop following you. It is like taking a cold shower. You feel like a dead flower. You will obtain unnecessary desires. It will burn you with its fires. It laughs at how your soul tires. It will make you work more than ever before. It will make you crawl on all four. It will make you bang & scream behind a locked door. You will never get there, because, you will only despair. Even if you reach the top, you will only drop. You will be unhappy & it will never stop. Even if you are tall, you are, only, small. You will fall. You will stall. Brace yourself. It wishes to embrace your shelf, And take all that is there & leave you with nothing but despair. It does not care while it is there. It pulls your hair. All of your efforts will be in vain. It will only cause you more pain. You feel itchy & dry all over the place. But, you cannot touch the flower, because, it inside of your vase. The air feels toxic wherever you go. You cannot deny this. You already know. There is a thickness in the air. You cannot breathe while it is there. It's toxic fumes, And It's black perfumes, Come as it resumes. You are angry. You are suffocated. You are interrogated, As, you are surrounded by everything that is hated. It is like bad luck. This is why you are stuck How can this finally go? Only your intuitive eyes will let you know. They’ll know where to go... Edited January 27, 2019 by Asher25 5 Link to comment
Mikiesboy Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 7 hours ago, Asher25 said: Here’s three more pages I hope you enjoy. Any criticism is always welcome. I hope they may help whoever sees them. Some are happy some are sad... But, is that really so bad? Happy or sad ... both are part of life ... I'm not sure where you are posting your work.. here is fine, but myself I don't like to leave this sitting in the forum. You should start a new book for your poetry and/or your thoughts. 1 3 1 Link to comment
Parker Owens Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 10 hours ago, Asher25 said: So I wrote this page which is entitled “Addiction”. It is meant to aid those battling the struggles of an addiction and discover how they can overcome it. I hope you like it... please let me know what you think. Addiction You think too much. You drink to much. This is why you sink, No matter how many times you try to blink. You cannot see straight. It all looks foggy. No matter the date, You feel groggy. It is all dirty & unclean. This is why you act mean. You are haunted, By all of the things you have wanted. These drugs are like bugs. You cannot stop thinking about them, Like you're in love with what you hate. They suck the life from your fate. It is nothing but a shackle holding you back. It is a giant leech sucking the blood from your back. What is compulsive is repulsive. It is seductive, but, destructive. The addiction causes confliction.. It clouds your depiction, no matter how many times you acquire restriction. The infection causes dissection in your every direction. Each insect will affect & try to infect, Whatever, it is, that you will select. How will this go away? Discover the reason why you do it in the first place. And, only then, will this black flower be removed from your vase. I really appreciate your sharing this poem. It’s incredibly effective. 3 1 1 Link to comment
Black Paper Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 4 hours ago, Parker Owens said: I really appreciate your sharing this poem. It’s incredibly effective. Oh thank you! Hehe 😘🙌 4 Link to comment
Black Paper Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 5 hours ago, Mikiesboy said: Happy or sad ... both are part of life ... I'm not sure where you are posting your work.. here is fine, but myself I don't like to leave this sitting in the forum. You should start a new book for your poetry and/or your thoughts. Oh thank you! I am 😘🙌 I hope they helped inspire somone who read them that’s theyre job! 4 Link to comment
Black Paper Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 (edited) Okay I want to end it on a happy note. I wrote this one day while drinking my black Starbucks iced coffee on the highway and started getting it, I widened my eyes and immediately pulled over. I whipped out my iPhone plus and wrote this in 5 minutes. Hehe 🔮 Tiny Treasures What are the things that you like the most? You cannot pretend as though they are not there, All of these things which can remove your despair. Do not act as though they are not real. All of these things, you so magically feel. They were always a part of you to help you heal. None can take them from you, These, none can steal. They stem from the heart. They stem from the spirit. They enter your mind, They assist you to find. These things feel nice. These things entice. They are a part of you. Do not deny this is true! Laugh with them easily as you continue. They are gift to who you are. They can help you go so far. They make you smile, with every mile. They assist all the while, As you walk and stride through every aisle. They ease like a breeze like an tickling tease. They do this all while being able to please. They are like bubbles underwater which flitter in the air. They dance and pop every single care. A cup of tea, a coffee, a cupcake a smoothie! A pastry, a brownie, a cake, a cookie! A latte’ it’s okay! Enjoy it that way! Today, tomorrow, everyday, any day! Where? Somewhere. Anywhere! Everywhere! These things aren’t required but they’ll make you wired, And sometimes that is required in order to obtain what is desired. And sometimes that is required in order to longer feel tired. And sometimes that is all your mind will need, Something fun, Something different. Something indeed. Enjoy them now as you eat and feed. Enjoy them now as this page you read. Edited January 27, 2019 by Asher25 2 1 Link to comment
Black Paper Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 (edited) On 1/20/2019 at 6:40 PM, Defiance19 said: Filled with misgiving I slow-walk onto the ice Pushing off I flail But your hand reaches mine And I forget I’m falling I love the last one. It’s so captivating to me the holding the hands. 🙌🙌💫 Edited January 28, 2019 by Asher25 3 Link to comment
Mikiesboy Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 You should give the prompts a try Asher ... excellent chance to learn how to write poetry. When i arrived here i only knew free verse ... because i'd never bothered to learn ... but i took AC's prompts and i worked hard. Now i'm a better poet...freer because i can write many forms.. but i'm no where near perfect ... so we keep working and supporting each other. 1 4 Link to comment
MichaelS36 Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 1 hour ago, Mikiesboy said: You should give the prompts a try Asher ... excellent chance to learn how to write poetry. When i arrived here i only knew free verse ... because i'd never bothered to learn ... but i took AC's prompts and i worked hard. Now i'm a better poet...freer because i can write many forms.. but i'm no where near perfect ... so we keep working and supporting each other. AC's prompts are wonderful. I enjoy them. I'll try and get a couple more done myself and I am not remotely a poet! 1 3 Link to comment
Parker Owens Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 16 hours ago, Asher25 said: What are the things that you like the most? You cannot pretend as though they are not there, All of these things which can remove your despair. Do not act as though they are not real. All of these things, you so magically feel. You express in this a delight in small things, and in the observations which move one to write. I like that very much. Such minor things can bring great big smiles. @Mikiesboy and @MichaelS36 suggested you try @AC Benus‘sPoetry Prompts, and I agree with them. I learned so much - more than I ever did in school - in response to the prompts. 1 3 Link to comment
Black Paper Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) . Edited January 28, 2019 by Asher25 Link to comment
Black Paper Posted January 28, 2019 Share Posted January 28, 2019 (edited) 32 minutes ago, Parker Owens said: You express in this a delight in small things, and in the observations which move one to write. I like that very much. Such minor things can bring great big smiles. @Mikiesboy and @MichaelS36 suggested you try @AC Benus‘sPoetry Prompts, and I agree with them. I learned so much - more than I ever did in school - in response to the prompts. The ones I posted were free range entirely still with rythym, tone, and accent to certain lines and words in order to create a certain dynamic and feel to bring a different effect to each one to help the person feel whatever the page is about. I’ll definately take a look at those prompts over a coffee and cookies! I love learning and improving what’s already there thank you all so very much! Edited January 28, 2019 by Asher25 3 1 Link to comment
AC Benus Posted January 28, 2019 Author Share Posted January 28, 2019 @Asher25You've joined GA at just the right time 😊 I have written and posted 20 poetry prompts on this site, but I've just revised them with the intent to create a self-help guide. The introduction and the first prompt are up now, and in a couple weeks the second one will be up, followed closely by an essay on wabi-sabi. Please take a look here 3 1 Link to comment
Popular Post Mikiesboy Posted January 29, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 29, 2019 (edited) ... this is a picture from my tanka Gray, felted skies mock, making us feel dour and sad, yet I feel hope, when fresh snow dapples the pines, on which red cardinals alight it's a great pic.. by Judy, in Toronto: from the weather network pages Edited January 29, 2019 by Mikiesboy 2 8 1 Link to comment
Popular Post mollyhousemouse Posted January 29, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 29, 2019 4 minutes ago, Mikiesboy said: ... this is a picture from my tanka Gray, felted skies mock, making us feel dour and sad, yet I feel hope, when fresh snow dapples the pines, on which red cardinals alight it's a great pic.. by Judy, in Toronto: from the weather network pages that it's beautiful tim thanks for sharing it 2 4 Link to comment
Popular Post Backwoods Boy Posted January 29, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 29, 2019 1 hour ago, Mikiesboy said: ... this is a picture from my tanka Gray, felted skies mock, making us feel dour and sad, yet I feel hope, when fresh snow dapples the pines, on which red cardinals alight it's a great pic.. by Judy, in Toronto: from the weather network pages Beautiful! I love it! We don't have bright birds here in the winter - just the little brown ones. 5 3 Link to comment
Popular Post Black Paper Posted January 29, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 29, 2019 (edited) 3 hours ago, Mikiesboy said: ... this is a picture from my tanka Gray, felted skies mock, making us feel dour and sad, yet I feel hope, when fresh snow dapples the pines, on which red cardinals alight it's a great pic.. by Judy, in Toronto: from the weather network pages Not only is the picture so perfectly taken it almost look CGI but it says something true we may not realize, “dour and sad” from the grayness of the sky. I’ve actually felt that and got almost a bit sad from the winter’s loneliness and cold almost wanting it to be ... OVER or something but then something small catches my eye like the pretty fresh snow, or the smell of hot chocolate, or Starbucks hehe and I’m reminded of its beauty where even in the cold, you can feel warm🧚♀️💫 Edited January 29, 2019 by Asher25 7 Link to comment
Brayon Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 4 hours ago, Mikiesboy said: Gray, felted skies mock, making us feel dour and sad, yet I feel hope, when fresh snow dapples the pines, on which red cardinals alight it's a great pic.. by Judy, in Toronto: from the weather network pages The pic is awesome, but the poem is a lot better. Even without the picture, I could visualize the scene you described. 2 2 Link to comment
Popular Post Brayon Posted January 29, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 29, 2019 I tried for a Tanka, but I think I ended up with a Haiku. Not sure... Cold wind blows across exposed skin bringing shivers the sun not warming 6 Link to comment
MacGreg Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 1 hour ago, BHopper2 said: I tried for a Tanka, but I think I ended up with a Haiku. Not sure... Cold wind blows across exposed skin bringing shivers the sun not warming Yes, haiku, but a good one even so. 5 Link to comment
dughlas Posted January 29, 2019 Share Posted January 29, 2019 8 hours ago, Mikiesboy said: ... this is a picture from my tanka Gray, felted skies mock, making us feel dour and sad, yet I feel hope, when fresh snow dapples the pines, on which red cardinals alight it's a great pic.. by Judy, in Toronto: from the weather network pages The winter background makes these appear more colorful than the ones here in the Carolinas. 5 Link to comment
Popular Post MichaelS36 Posted January 31, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted January 31, 2019 (edited) Okay … 3 haiku, I hope: the weak winter sun is still welcome, since its rays bring not warmth, but light waxy lily pads keep the green leaping frogs dry between graceful jumps the smiling dog runs his lolling tongue evidence of his happiness Right, I'm off to pick up tim. Edited January 31, 2019 by MichaelS36 I need a grammar refresher... 3 4 Link to comment
Popular Post AC Benus Posted February 1, 2019 Author Popular Post Share Posted February 1, 2019 4 hours ago, MichaelS36 said: Okay … 3 haiku, I hope: the weak winter sun is still welcome, since its rays bring not warmth, but light waxy lily pads keep the green leaping frogs dry between graceful jumps the smiling dog runs his lolling tongue evidence of his happiness Right, I'm off to pick up tim. Concerning the first one, perhaps you feel it too, but the phrase "is still welcome" sets up an observer (or put another way, an experiencer) out there somewhere, at least that's the feeling I get. I like the frog poem a lot. However, I wonder if graceful is the best word to paint the picture you want. Think about that one for me, how they really move, especially remembering that the lily pads are like being on a waterbed for the critters. Smiling dog is a great way to put it; it's a vivid image for us dog fanciers Very strong work and looking forward to seeing some more 3 3 Link to comment
MichaelS36 Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, AC Benus said: Concerning the first one, perhaps you feel it too, but the phrase "is still welcome" sets up an observer (or put another way, an experiencer) out there somewhere, at least that's the feeling I get. I like the frog poem a lot. However, I wonder if graceful is the best word to paint the picture you want. Think about that one for me, how they really move, especially remembering that the lily pads are like being on a waterbed for the critters. Smiling dog is a great way to put it; it's a vivid image for us dog fanciers Very strong work and looking forward to seeing some more Ah, damn, yes. Regarding 'is still welcome' it makes perfect sense. I will think about the frog's movement also. I always think dogs are smiling when they are free to run. It is so rare they can, who wouldn't smile? Thanks AC for your feedback. Much appreciated! Edited February 1, 2019 by MichaelS36 2 3 Link to comment
Popular Post Parker Owens Posted February 1, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted February 1, 2019 Two draft Haiku this morning... The old hawthorn tree bows in sullen obeisance to the snow's burden. Silent steam rises from the black sinuous creek, exhaling laughter. Comments? 4 3 1 Link to comment
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