9.11 - 68. Chapter 68

November 2, 2001

Washington DC

The wheels of the plane touched down, landing with enough time for Wade to make his interview at Georgetown, assuming there weren’t any more problems. “I’m really sorry I lost it with you guys,” I said to them, about the tenth time I’d apologized.

“We’re good,” Wade said, smiling at me. The plane taxied to the FBO, the pilots powered down the engines and opened the door to let Wade out, and then we were back on the runway, heading for New Jersey. We really didn’t talk about anything until we actually took off.

“Since you and Zach are my charges for the weekend, I decided that gave me the right to choose where we’re staying,” Dad said. He was just messing with me.

“Oh you did, did you?” I challenged playfully.

“I was wondering if you’d be up to staying in New York, at the condo.”

I looked at him, trying to figure out what he was doing, but I gave up and asked him. “Why?”

“It was good for me last weekend,” he said.

“And you think it will be good for me too?” I asked.

“It might be,” he said carefully. He was nervous about me now that I’d lost a little bit of my sanity over this deal with Matt. “As long as it’s not worse, then I think it would be a good thing, since there’s more to do there.”

I thought about that. If we were up late and wanted something to eat, or wanted to do something, it would be a lot easier in New York than in Connecticut or New Jersey. “I think I can handle it.”

“If not, we’ll leave,” he promised.

“Cool,” I agreed. “I’m kind of surprised to hear you say you liked Zach.”

“Why?”

“Well, he’s been kind of a scumball up until recently, what with that deal with him and John when we were younger,” I said. “And Gathan seems to make it his purpose in life to slam him, and destroy his reputation.”

He looked at me pensively. “I’m willing to cut him some slack for the deal with John. He was a lot younger then.” I nodded, since I’d done the same thing. “I think that his relationship with Gathan is more complicated than we knew. Brothers don’t always get along well.” My eyes narrowed, as he referred indirectly to Matt, but he moved on to keep me from losing it with him again. “What I’ve seen of him over the past month, the way he’s treated you, has been pretty positive.”

“That kind of scares me,” I admitted. “I’m almost afraid to let down my guard and really enjoy it, in case he decides to fuck me over.”

“You said it yourself. You really don’t have all that much to lose, unless you let yourself fall for him too deeply. If you don’t do that, then maybe he can help you get through these tough times, and maybe you can help him do the same thing.”

“So where are we going to sleep at the condo?” I asked, being practical to get away from the emotional issues. We’d all stopped calling it ‘Mom’s condo’ by unspoken agreement. “There wasn’t shit left when we were there.”

“Stef’s taken care of that, at least partially,” he said. “He talked to a designer here and asked them to make two of the rooms habitable, with beds, linens, and stuff like that, while he works on the rest of it.”

“How much you want to bet the place smells like paint,” I joked.

“I’m not taking that one,” he said, chuckling.

“Did Wally and Clara ask you if they could come along this weekend?” I asked.

“It never came up,” he said. “I think this game would have been tougher for Wally, since he works on Fridays.”

“Makes sense.”

“You should learn to get along with them,” he said. “What if they end up being your in-laws someday?”

“That’s the deal with me and Zach,” I said, a bit sadly. “He’s never going to be able to do that.”

“You never know,” Dad said, throwing out some hope.

I shook my head. “He loves football more than anything. That’s why what he did, by getting me that jersey, was so awesome. But he can’t make it to the big time and be gay.”

He looked at me sadly. “That’s a tough go, for him, and for the guy he’s with.”

I shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal to me. “We’re not getting married, so all that means is that we’re buds in public. I can handle that.”

The plane landed and the car was waiting for us, just like we’d planned. “Who are they playing tonight?” Dad asked.

“St. Joseph,” I said. “They’re the Green Knights.”

“The Ironmen versus the Green Knights?” he asked, chuckling.

“Yep,” I said, snickering at their lame-ass names. “It’s in Montvale.”

We joked about that, and made fun of New Jersey in general, for the ride to Montvale. The limo pulled up to the school a little after six. “I think I’ll stay here and make some phone calls,” Dad said.

“OK,” I said. I hopped out of the limo and slipped on my jersey, then wandered toward the back of the school to find Zach. He was out in the field, warming up with the other Ironmen. He saw me and smiled, and jogged over to see me. “Hey! Welcome to New Jersey!”

“Good to see you,” I said, and fist-bumped him.

“Dude, see that building over there,” he said, pointing to the nearest set of doors.

“Yeah.”

“Go into the bathroom on the first floor. Give me five or ten minutes,” he said, winking at me.

“Seriously?” I asked, grinning.

“Five or ten minutes,” he said. Then he ran back out onto the field. I tried to act all casual for a bit, then wandered into the building, a typical school, and found the guys’ restroom. I stood there, kind of wondering what to do.

I wasn’t there more than a few minutes when Zach came charging through the door. “Damn, it’s great to see you,” he said, pushing me into one of the stalls, the last one, with a solid wall on one side. Then his lips were on mine. “Don’t have much time.”

“Much time?”

“Dude, fuck me, right here, right now. You have to go fast.” He was already pulling his football pants down, and kneeling on the toilet, so his legs weren’t visible. “Come on!”

I pulled my dick out and started stroking it. He turned around and sucked on it, more to lube it up than to get me hard, because just seeing his hot ass framed in his jock strap was enough to turn me into steel. I spit on his ass a lot as he blew me, then he turned back around. I tried to push in a few times, but needed more spit for lube.

Finally I was able to work my dick into his magnificent ass, and then with a little more spit, I started to fuck him. “God, that’s good,” I said.

“That’s right,” he said. “Fuck me. Blow your load in my ass. When I’m running down the field, I want to feel your cum leaking out of my hole.”

I picked up my pace, getting that he had no time at all. When I reached around to grab his dick, he stopped me. “What about you?” I asked, even as I felt my balls start to rise.

“Dude, this is firing me up. You can make me blow after the game,” he said. And then I came, with a muted growl, blasting what felt like a fucking gallon inside him. When I was done, I pulled out, and grabbed some toilet paper to wipe my dick off. “That was awesome,” he said, grinning at me. “Gotta run. See you on the field.”

I chuckled, even as I went over to the sink and washed my hands off really well. My chuckle turned into a laugh, which would have made me look like a psycho if someone had walked in. I straightened out my jersey and went out onto the field and stood on the sidelines, just like I had last time. It was pretty cool, since I knew most of the guys, so I talked to them and encouraged them as best I could.

“Alright guys,” the coach said. “USA Today has the Green Knights ranked 9^th in the nation. We beat them, we’re big time!” The Ironmen cheered and took the field. This time the coach didn’t fuck around, and put Zach in right away. It was a good thing too, because he was on fire.

The Ironmen got the ball first, and managed to drive it down to the 50-yard line. It was 3^rd down and 7, and I was pretty bummed to see the quarterback drop back to pass it. Only he didn’t rocket it down the field, he lobbed a short pass to Zach who grabbed the ball, locked it under his arm, and took off running. He got the first touchdown and some pretty loud cheers from those of us on the sidelines.

“Dude, you were awesome!” I said when he made it over to me.

“Got an energy injection,” he said, then whispered into my ear. “Beats the fuck out of steroids.” I tried not to laugh too hard.

The Ironmen ended up walking all over the Green Knights, winning the game 28-7. Zach ran over 120 yards, sharing top star of the game slot with the quarterback, who was a rock star too. “You’re our good luck charm,” the coach said to me in a friendly way, patting me on the back. It felt good to be part of a winning team, even though I didn’t really do anything.

I decided to avoid the locker room meeting, and the inevitable erection I’d get from seeing Zach in his jock again. Instead, I tracked down my father, who seemed to be much more relaxed, hanging out with just the Piehls. I couldn’t tell if that was because he was doing so much better, or if it was because they were simply better company than Wally and Clara. “Hello Will!” Mrs. Piehl said, and kissed my cheek, trying to be classy, but not quite pulling it off. “It’s good to see you!”

“It’s good to see you too,” I said. I shook Mr. Piehl’s hand to greet him.

“That was an amazing performance by the entire team, but especially by Zach,” Dad said.

“He totally rocked,” I said, grinning with pride.

“He certainly did,” Mrs. Piehl said. “Your father invited us to join you for a late dinner, but unfortunately we won’t be able to do that. Our daughter just got into town, so we’re heading back home to see her.”

“Zach knows that’s our plan,” Mr. Piehl augmented, “but tell him we said he did great, and that we’re proud of him.”

“I will,” I promised. They hustled off then, anxious to get back home to see their daughter.

“I was thinking that I could have the limo take me to the condo, and you and Zach could meet me there. We can go out to eat when you get there and change,” Dad said. He sensed my apprehension. “Nothing fancy tonight. Something easy. No hurry.”

“Sounds good,” I said. He took off too, so I went back to the locker room and met Zach. “Hey stud.”

He was totally stoked. It was terrific to see how happy he was, how high on success he was. “What’s the plan?”

“We’re going to Tribeca, to the condo, and Dad’s taking us out to a casual dinner. Probably to a diner or something.”

“We have to go out?” he asked, leering at me.

“Yeah, but not right away,” I said. “Let’s see how fast you can drive.”

He laughed. “I won’t kill us.” We hopped in the Durango and he started heading to the city.

“I feel bad, taking you away from all the parties and shit,” I said.

He shook his head. “I like these dudes, but I’m just passing through here. Most of these guys are from New Jersey, and this is their gig.”

“So don’t you have friends in school?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, I have friends, but no one I’m really close to.” And then I understood how important to him I really was. He was the kind of guy who played his cards really close to his vest, and didn’t let many people in. But he’d picked me to be the guy he let past the shields. “I’m so fucking horny, I’m about to blow just sitting here talking to you.”

“Pull over,” I said.

“What?”

“Pull over,” I repeated. I pointed to a small park, and made him pull in and park. I leaned over and undid his pants, then proceeded to give him my very best blow job. He was fun to blow, because he got into it, and he’d get all excited and try to jam his big dick down my throat, then get all nervous that he was choking me and stop, then get all into it and do it all over again. Only I knew how to suck a cock, so he didn’t really choke me because I wrapped my hand around the base of his dick to regulate his depth.

“Fuck, gonna cum,” he warned. As soon as he said that, I dove down, lodging his cock in the back of my throat, and even though it gagged me, I loved it, taking his load straight down my throat. When he was done, I gently pulled off, squeezing the last drop out of his softening cock and swallowing it too. “Dude, that was fucking amazing.”

“An appetizer,” I joked. “Now drive.”

“You got it.” He got back on the road. “How was your week?”

“Pretty shitty,” I said honestly. “But it just got a whole lot better.”

“What happened?”

“Dude, you just turned in probably the best performance this team has ever seen. Shit, the Piehls were going apeshit, talking about how amazing you are, and so was my dad. You don’t want to hear about my issues.” I hated it when people were total buzz-kills; I so did not want to be that guy.

“They said that?”

“They were damn near jumping up and down,” I said.

“That’s cool,” he said, smiling, and then got more somber. “My dad would have just bitched at me for not catching that last pass.”

“Well, he’s not here, and he didn’t lead the Ironmen to victory over what used to be the 9^th ranked team in the country,” I said.

“No, he didn’t,” Zach said firmly, and seemed resolved. “I have to call them.”

“Go ahead,” I said. He pulled out his phone and dialed their number. I could tell by his attitude that he was talking to his mother, because he was smiling and happy. Then he talked to Wally, and his expression sagged. He explained his major runs, then got all defensive as Wally critiqued his play, which was ridiculous, since all Wally could do was bitch at Zach based on what Zach told him. I started pinching Zach’s nipples to bug him and make him giggle, which probably annoyed the shit out of Wally, but Zach finally managed to get him off the phone.

“Asshole,” he said, and smacked me hard enough to hurt, but only a little bit. “No matter what I do, it is never good enough.”

“Whatever you do, it’s better than what he did,” I said. “Just do your thing and don’t worry about him.”

“He’s my father,” he objected.

“He’s also being a total douche,” I said.

“You talk big, but you always treat your father with a lot of respect,” he said. I looked at him, stunned, and then started laughing.

“You should tell him that,” I said, but I couldn’t stop laughing.

“What?”

“Dude, he and I have had some major battles. How do you think I ended up emancipated?”

He thought about that. “Did he treat you like my dad does, where he cut you down all the time?”

“No, he tried to control my life,” I said.

That made him laugh. “I think that would create a pretty violent reaction.”

“I fucked up a Ferrari, a Porsche, and over half a million dollars worth of clothes, then ran away,” I said, only that made me pretty sad. “So I guess it did. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I did what I had to do.”

“How do I get out from under his thumb?” he asked plaintively.

“I don’t think you want to get out from under his thumb,” I said, reading him so well, in that weird way that we both seemed to do. “I think you want him to be proud of you.”

He thought about that for a bit as he drove through the tunnel. “I don’t know how to do that.”

“Yeah, you do. You just need to realize that he’s not going to show you he’s proud of you in a normal way. He can’t be proud of you because he’s so fucking jealous of you, his head is about to explode. So when he nit-picks you about bullshit, and you know it’s bullshit, that’s how you know he’s proud.”

“Right,” he said skeptically. “His bullshit means he’s proud of me?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Because that’s all he’s got. When my dad was giving me a bad time, trying to restrict me and shit, he didn’t have a damn thing on me. I got good grades; I wasn’t outrageous, so all he could do is point to stupid ass stuff. That’s how I knew it was bullshit. Same thing with you. So when he bitches at you for missing a pass after you turned in a record performance, you know he’s proud, because that’s all he’s got. If he could point to something legitimate, like how you couldn’t rack up ten yards the whole game, then he’d have a case.”

He nodded. “I never thought of it that way.” He drove on in silence for a few minutes. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” I said. He parked in the garage and we scampered up to the condo, probably making way too much noise on the stairs, and burst into the front room a bit too exuberantly. My father gave us an indulgent look, and then sprang into action.

“Here’s the hero of the hour,” he said to Zach. He walked up to him and actually gave him a hug, something pretty unusual for my dad. He didn’t hug people he didn’t like. “You were incredible.”

“Thanks,” Zach said shyly, looking down.

“I’ve watched a shitload of football games, mostly thanks to Robbie, and you really were amazing. I’m really proud of you.”

“Thanks,” he said again. “It means a lot that you guys came out to see me again.”

Dad tousled his hair in a really paternal gesture. “Why don’t you guys go get settled in, then come find me and we’ll get some food. Then I’ll leave you alone and you can enjoy your evening.”

“Which room did you take?” I asked.

“I left the master bedroom for you guys,” he said. “Zach earned it.”

That was the one with the kick ass bathroom. “Awesome!” I led him off to the bedroom, trying to forget that this was my mother’s love den, and fucked Zach again; only this time I made him blow his load in an orgasm that was pretty intense for both of us.

We got ourselves dressed and put back together, so it didn’t look like we’d just had mind-blowing sex, and then tracked my father down. He took us to a pub, a cool place that was just around the corner from the condo. We couldn’t drink there, but we ate shitloads of food, then the three of us walked back to the condo together. “So what are you doing tomorrow?” I asked Dad.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I may go out and see the city.”

“I’d be up for that, if you want some company,” Zach said. I’d been thinking the same thing, but he just verbalized it.

“That could be fun, if it’s alright with you?” Dad asked me.

“I’m all over that,” I said.

“We’ll start in the afternoon,” he said. “That way you can sleep in.”

“Good idea,” I said.

November 3 2001

TriBeCa, NYC

I lay there, snuggled up against Zach, my body completely drained of fluids. I broke away from him long enough to grab the bottle of water next to the bed and guzzle half of it down. I gave him the other half to finish off. It was four in the morning, and we’d done nothing but fuck and talk since we got back from the pub. I’d told him all about my problems with my father last year, and how I’d trashed the house and run away. I’d told him all about Norway, and how I’d gotten involved in all that shit with the USFSA over Shane Jackson blowing me. I didn’t tell him about JJ being molested, because that wasn’t my deal to reveal, but I pretty much shared the other shit with him.

“You have this inner strength,” he said. “You emit it, almost like body odor.” We laughed at that.

“You just stink,” I teased. He lifted up his arm to send fumes from his pits wafting at me, but it was a sexy smell, so I giggled.

“That’s why I hit on you first, back when I got John to fuck me,” he said. “I didn’t know you well enough to figure out that wouldn’t work.”

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “So this is just some big plan of yours, to get me into bed?”

“I’m that shallow,” he said scornfully.

“Rumor has it you’re just riding me because I’m your gravy train.”

“Who told you that?” he demanded.

“Gathan told Wade that you told Brent that,” I said, chuckling since it was such a long gossip chain.

I figured he’d get all pissed off about them spreading lies, but instead he got pretty upset. “I’m sorry about that.”

“You said that?” I asked, stunned.

He nodded, but just as I was about to fly off the handle and lose it, he wrapped his arm around me tightly. “I lied to him.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I was close to yelling.

He raised an eyebrow, his non-verbal way of telling me to chill the fuck out. “Brent was giving me shit, accusing me of being a...” He stopped himself before he said fag. “...gay.”

“So you made it sound like you were a whore instead?”

“People can’t think that about me,” he said softly, referring to them thinking he was gay. “Not even my family.”

“Not even your family?” I knew he had to be in the closet, but even to his family?

He shook his head. “If they thought we were like this, you think we’d be able to spend time together?”

“They’d ban you from seeing me?” It seemed unbelievable that Wally and Clara would do that.

“I’m gonna make it to the show, Will. That’s my destiny, that’s my deal. Nothing is going to stop me.” His level of determination was almost scary. “You can’t be in the NFL and have a boyfriend. At least not one that anyone knows about.”

“How’s that going to work with us?” I asked. “I mean, I’m not saying I want to make out in Times Square, but shit, I’m out. Won’t people give you shit about that?”

He got really upset, and I didn’t get it. “You know, you’d be better off if I got up and walked out that door and we never talked again.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I demanded, pretty annoyed.

“You’re my cousin, that’s the story, that’s the cover. That’s how it is. That’s all I can be to you in public. And I’ll have to be straight to the rest of the world.” There was so much in that statement, not the least of which was the fact that, for the first time, he’d actually alluded to the fact that he wasn’t straight. And now it was my turn to think about things. He was telling me that football was his life, and it was the most important thing to him, more important than his family, more important than me. And if I wanted to be with him, it was going to have to be as buds. This wasn’t just some deal while he played for Don Bosco, and it wouldn’t just be the arrangement when he was in college, it would be this way for at least as long as he played in the NFL, and probably beyond. As close as we were now, as close as we got in the future, if that was how it turned out, there would always be a huge gulf between us in public.

I stroked his chest to let him know that I was thinking, and not pissed. I thought about what life would be like if we were together. It would mean that I’d have to deal with him dating women, living his life in the closet, probably complete with a beard. “That’s asking a lot,” I finally said. “It’s asking a lot of you, and of me.”

“I should go,” he said, and made to get up. When I looked into his eyes, I could see they were watery, and as if to forestall any doubt, a tear fell down his cheek.

“Stay,” I said firmly, positioning myself on top of him so he couldn’t get up. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it, I said it was asking a lot.”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Look, for right now, it is what it is. You’re telling me what I’m getting into on the front end.”

He nodded. “And what about tomorrow, and the next day? Are you going to bail on me?”

I smiled at him. “I’ll always at least be your friend.” He looked sad. “Dude, you’re talking about your NFL career, and you’ve got another year and a half before you’re done with high school. Then you’ve got at least four years in college. Who the fuck knows where we’ll be five years from now.”

“I’ve opened up to you more tonight than I ever have to anyone,” he said, referring to talking about his dreams, his challenges, and his sexuality.

“I know,” I said earnestly, then got more playful. “You’re not the only one. It’s not every day I tell people I cut a bunch of Gucci shoes in half.” He laughed with me.

“I’ve never connected to someone like I do with you,” he said. “It scares the fuck out of me, but I love it.”

“Me too,” I said. I grabbed the lube and slathered it on his dick this time, and since I was on top of him, I guided his cock inside me, reveling at the feeling of him stretching me out and filling me up. “Ahhh!” I moaned, in sheer ecstasy as he began to pump in and out of me.

We’d had sex so many times, I’d lost count, but that gave us a lot of endurance, and he took me on one very long, very intense ride, before he brought us both off. It was sweaty enough that it warranted a shower before we went to sleep. I took that opportunity to change the sheets. He helped me, both of us looking sheepishly at each other at how nasty they were.

We got back in bed and I yawned. I was tired, but I didn’t really want to go to sleep, and he didn’t seem to want to either. “So why was your week so shitty?”

“I was with this guy, and we had a pretty stormy relationship,” I said.

“Tony?” he asked, since I’d talked about him.

“Yeah. We had a really intense connection, only unlike ours, it was only sexual.” That wasn’t entirely true, but it worked in this context. I told him all about the summer, and how I’d met Tony in Rome, then gone to St. Louis, and how he’d dicked me over with Rick.

“What an asshole,” Zach spat.

“Yeah, but after 9-11, he really helped me out,” I said, then realized he hadn’t really done all that much.

“Are you still into him?” he asked, only now he was jealous, and it was actually cute.

“No.” I sighed. I told him about Tony coming out, and how I’d told Matt that Tony was important to me and to leave him alone.

“Let me guess. They fucked,” he spat.

“You’re pretty smart,” I said.

“So is the GMC back in California, burning like a volcano?”

I laughed. “No. I can’t really do that, because it would totally fuck up my family.”

“The way you think about your family and talk about your family, that’s kind of how I feel about football,” he said, nailing it. “So you had to just suck it up, and pretend that Matt didn’t do shit?”

“No, I just didn’t go completely postal like I would have a year ago,” I said. I sighed, and thought about it. “With Tony, it’s not a big deal, because he’s really been a douche since I first got to know him. It was one of those things where I let the fact that he’s a good lay make me think that made him a good person. When this happened, I finally got that he wasn’t, and then I realized that I just didn’t need a dickhead like that in my life.”

“What happens when you’re horny as fuck and he shows up?”

“I’ll slam the door in his face, pull out my dildo, and call you,” I said in my sexy bedroom voice. “That’s so much better.”

He smiled at me, and that momentarily freaked me out, because it was so much like Robbie’s adorable grin. “What about Matt?”

“Matt’s been tightest with JJ. He and Darius are OK, but they never really bonded, so Darius can take him or leave him. Matt and I used to be good, but over the past year or so, he’s been a complete asshole. So I can’t totally shatter my relationship with him, because if I make a big deal about it, it will cause all these problems with JJ, and with Frank, since he thinks the sun rises and sets on Matt. And then there’s Wade. I don’t know why he puts up with Matt’s bullshit, but he does, and Wade is one of the most important people in my life. So I have to keep things relatively civil with Matt for their sake: for Frank, Wade, and JJ.”

“You know, as much as Gathan pisses me off, and as much as he always tries to make me look like a total scumbag, not even he would do that to me,” Zach said. “That’s a total violation of the bro-code.”

I chuckled at the way he put it. “Darius wouldn’t do that to me either, but then again, he’s straight, so that’s not a big challenge for him.”

“Totally straight?” he asked, raising his eyebrows in his cocky way.

“Dude, if anyone could turn a straight dude gay, it’s you,” I said, stroking his ego. “And you don’t have a chance with Darius.”

“I’d never do that to you,” he pledged. “Even though JJ wants me.”

I laughed. “You don’t have enough Marc Jacobs clothes in your wardrobe for JJ to give you the time of day.”

“Who’s that?”

“I’ll show you tomorrow when we go shopping.”

“Shopping?”

I thought about it. “Nah. We’ll put that off and go with Stef. He says that shopping with a hot guy like you is the gay man’s version of dressing up Barbie dolls.” He laughed, but when the laughter subsided, we realized how tired we were, and drifted off to sleep, our bodies intertwined.