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Cards on the Table - 23. Chapter 23 The Wild Card Effect

Sorting cards.

Cards on the Table

 

 

Chapter 23

 

 

It mostly felt wonderful to be walking back into their home. Here, there should be no stress, but something was niggling at Kendall, marring the moment. He was trying to ignore the apprehension skittering around the edges of his mind. A mound of their combined mail, deposited through the slot in the door, greeted them as they entered their apartment, taking in the familiar surroundings. Kendall gathered up the pile and put it on the counter to peruse later. The suitcases were left in the entrance as Kendall turned his attention to the light and love of his life.

“We’re home, Sunshine.”

Michael leaned his crutches on the wall and held out welcoming arms. ”Come here. Let’s do this right.”

Kendall walked into those open arms, and marveled at the security it gave him as they wrapped around him. “This feels so good,” Kendall said as he squeezed Michael back in a loving embrace. He felt himself weakening. The homophobic slur was looming in his mind.

“What does? The hug or being home?”

“Both. I just wish your truck hadn’t gotten vandalized. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s no big deal. It’s just a little soap, and why are you doing the apologizing?” Michael felt a shudder run through Kendall. “What’s going on in that over-active brain of yours? Is something wrong?”

Kendall gave up trying to hold it in. Wrapped in this man’s arms, his resolve didn’t stand a chance. “I don’t know. It’s not the nicest welcome home, is it? I didn’t expect something like this to happen at our own place, to be violated this way. Likely someone in the building has a problem with us.” Kendall sighed and pulled back a little, searching Michael’s intense blue eyes with his own fearful ones. “Are you okay with that?”

Michael let out a long breath as he took stock of the situation, and where he thought Kendall might be coming from. “Is this you being worried about me? That I might be upset by some ignorant bigot that sneak-attacks cars, probably under the cover of darkness like some cowardly worm? Because if that’s the case, we need to talk.”

“It’s just that it’s not what you signed up for, and I hate that you have to be subjected to something so mean because of us. You, of all people, don’t deserve to be treated like this.”

Michael sputtered in astonishment at Kendall’s words. He was frankly stymied by them, and what they meant. “Not what I signed up for? What the hell are you talking about, man? That is so much bullshit, I don’t even know what to say to you.” He tried to soften the anger that had crept into his voice, but this scenario was so unexpected. “I’m not stupid, for Christ’s sake!” He had to stop for a second to calm himself down. “This is one small part of being gay, that much I do know, and it’s unfortunate, but it has nothing to do with us. I signed up for a lifetime with you, and that’s between me and you… not some intolerant stranger or strangers. Believe me when I say I don’t give a flying fuck what someone else thinks of what we are to one another. I already said it, Deuce… what we have is beautiful, and it feels like I’ve waited for it my whole life, so don’t go thinking someone else has power over it. I really don’t understand what you mean about me not deserving this? Shouldn’t that be we don’t deserve this?” He looked questioningly at his partner, wanting to understand.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

That got to Michael. He felt some regret at his reaction, and responded with remorse. “You didn’t upset me. I’m just confused. I’m sorry I got fired up. I figure maybe it shook you up… that word… but why are you talking about it affecting me and not us?”

Kendall wasn’t sure how to say what he felt, but he ploughed ahead anyway. “I don’t know. I guess I just hate that it was your truck, and it’s like a threat to you, and I’m having a hard time with that. It makes me feel unsettled. I mean, I know you’re a big tough guy, and I know for a fact you can take care of yourself, but you don’t have a mean-spirited bone in your body. You’re the fairest person I know, and it just seems so wrong that you could be a target of something so fucking hateful. It's not right.” Tears of frustration accompanied his words, reaching Michael at his core.

“I can say the exact same thing about you. Nobody deserves to be a target, Deuce.”

Kendall looked like he was struggling to get words out. “You’re right, and I know I worry too much, but what if it’s a group of guys, and they hate us enough to jump you in the parking lot one night? It‘s not the word that bothers me. I’m just feeling a little concerned about safety now. Shit, I was the one who said we can’t let them get to us, and yet here they are, screwing with my head, and I’m pissing you off. I’m sorry… just forget what I said, okay?”

Michael pulled Kendall in close again. “Oh, Babe, you are not pissing me off. I won’t forget what you said, because it’s important, but I understand it better now. You’re freaked because your protective instincts are in play now, and I think maybe mine are too. I agree it isn’t the nicest welcome home. We should try to look at it logically, but that’s not so easy when you’re afraid for the guy you love. There’s probably nothing to worry about, but I have to admit it crossed my mind we both need to be more alert now, until we know what we’re dealing with. We can’t help it affecting our emotions too, because of how much we love one another. I get it now. Remember the promise we made each other a few days ago not to be reckless?”

Kendall nodded that he did remember, the wetness of his face moving against Michael's neck.

Michael felt calmer now that he knew where Kendall was coming from. “Okay, so I think that promise applies here. We both have to make sure we’re cautious about what is going on around us, but nothing is going to make me hide the way I feel about you. That is one thing I will not change. I’m not going to act differently in public… if I want to hold your hand, I’m gonna hold your hand, all right?”

Kendall pulled back so he could kiss his man. “Absolutely,” he said with a smile, his emotions back under control. “It won’t change for me either, and I promise you I will be careful. So are we good?”

“We were never not good, Babe,” he sighed as he reinforced his words in the increased strength of his hug. “I like that you worry about me, but I hate you putting yourself through this stuff. I get it though, because I feel the same way.” They each took some time to breathe the other in before they reluctantly pulled apart to get on with their day, another understanding slowly settling into place.

“I think I should call Chet, and let him know we made it home safe and sound. He knows from my text we were supposed to arrive today, so he’s probably waiting to hear from us. Are we still going to have him and Arron over some night?” Kendall gave Michael a look that said he wanted to do this, despite the misgivings Michael had expressed.

“If you’re convinced this is a good idea, then it’s fine with me. The worst that can happen is they don’t click, and we have a nice evening visiting with friends.” Michael tried to keep his reservations hidden, because he knew it was a good bet when they got here, they would figure out pretty quickly it was some kind of set-up.

“I know you’re not completely on board with this, but I hate seeing that sad look in Chet’s eyes, the one he tries to hide. I think he’s really lonely, and when Arron came out to us, I kind of felt the same thing in him, you know?”

“You’ve got a big heart, Babe, and it’s one of two big things I love about you.” Michael winked. “There’s nothing wrong with having them both over at the same time. How about we invite them over for the hockey game on Wednesday. Leafs are playing Ottawa, so it’ll just be casual. I don’t want to try and push them together, is all, in case it back-fires on us or makes them uncomfortable. They’re both really cool guys, and I want to keep them as friends.”

Kendall took his time as he considered Michael’s suggestion. “Do you think we should tell them the other one is coming or let it be a surprise? No wait… I told Chet a couple of weeks ago there was someone I wanted him to meet. I didn’t actually say he was gay though. Shit, this is getting complicated already.”

“Okay, so let’s not make it complicated. You invite Chet over, for food and the game, and I’ll invite Arron over for the same thing, and we won’t say anything else. If they ask if anyone else is coming, then we’ll tell them. It’ll just be a few guys getting together for the game, so no big deal. They’ll meet, and that’s it. The rest will be up to them. If the gay thing comes up, then it’ll be their decision as to what they want to disclose, and we stay out of it. How does that sound?”

“It’s good. Like you say, we should approach it as nothing more than a casual get together… I really hope they click though. But you’re right... we’ll introduce them to each other, and the rest is up to them. We’ll stay out of it.”

Michael breathed a sigh of relief. “Alright then, that’s settled. So go ahead and call Chet, and if he agrees to come over, then I’ll call Arron and invite him.”

 

Chet was enthusiastic when Kendall called, picking up on the first ring. “I’ve been waiting to hear from you, buddy. Everything go okay in Calgary?”

“Yeah, it did. My dad’s doing great. In fact our whole family is. They fell for Michael, big time."

“That doesn’t surprise me. He’s a very likeable guy. Do they know about you two being partners?”

“As a matter of fact, yeah, they do. I told them at the very beginning. It’s a long story and I’ll tell you all about it, but the gist of it is they are totally accepting of us. I can’t believe the changes in my dad. We’ve got a lot to talk about, so how about you come over to our place on Wednesday for the hockey game, and we can order in some food and just chill and chat, and we’ll bring you up to date. Are you up for it?”

“Yeah, you know me. Got nothing planned so I’m looking forward to it. It’s been really boring while you guys were gone,” Chet lied. “So what time should I come over?”

“Are you doing okay, Chet?” Kendall’s concern made Chet want to blurt out how he was partners with Arron now, but they’d agreed to give Kendall and Michael a hard time for their plan to set them up, so he forced himself to hold it in. Why spoil the fun?

“Yeah, I’m good. So what time?” Despite Chet’s words, Kendall noticed the hesitation.

“Oh yeah. How about anytime between six-thirty and seven? We’ll just chow down around the television. Maybe Chinese. The game starts at seven.”

“Sounds great, buddy. I’m looking forward to it, and say ‘hi’ to Michael for me.”

“Will do… see you Wednesday, my friend.”

“Thanks for the invite. See ya.”

 

“Chet says ‘hi’, Sunshine. It’s all set, and he’ll be here.”

“Yeah, I heard, so I guess it’s my turn to call Arron. How is Chet doing?”

“He says he’s doing good, but he sounded kind of different.” Kendall had that pensive look on his face Michael knew so well.

“What do you mean, different?”

“I don’t know for sure. There was just a tone or hesitation in his voice that sounded a little off. I got the feeling he was holding back from telling me something. I hope there’s nothing wrong.”

“Well, did he sound unhappy?” Michael knew Kendall would worry about this until Wednesday rolled around. He could see the contemplation on his face as he considered Michael’s question.

“No, he didn’t sound unhappy at all… just different, somehow.”

“Well if he didn’t sound unhappy, then there’s nothing to fret over, is there?”

Kendall looked at him and said, “I wasn’t fretting, smartass.”

“Okay, fixating?” Michael laughed at Kendall’s reaction.

“Okay, maybe a little,” he smiled. “It’s your turn to give Arron a call.”

“Hold your horses. I need to piss first. Wanna hold it for me, hot stuff?” Michael wiggled his eyebrows in invitation.

“As tempting as that is, my sexy boy-toy, I’d better not. Something tells me if I do that, I won’t get the unpacking done. Oh crap. I need to call your therapist for an appointment now that we’re back, don’t you think?”

“I think that’s a good idea, but I think it, and the unpacking can wait. Your boy-toy needs you. I’ll even let you unwrap it.” Michael’s sexy pout could not be denied, and to be truthful, Kendall didn’t mind the diversion from his horn-dog of a partner… not at all. It occurred to him that Michael recognized a need for them to reconnect after their earlier conversation. Re-christening their apartment also had its appeal, so Kendall followed a triumphant Michael down the hallway, eyes glued to the gorgeous ass of the hunky man in front of him. Aaahh, the things he had to do for love.

More than an hour later, they were freshly showered with Michael lounging naked on the bed watching his equally naked partner doing the unpacking. It seemed like a replay of three weeks ago when Michael had moved in. Michael was looking smugly satisfied, and Kendall had to laugh at how transparent he was. Michael was thinking he had convinced Kendall, when it really took no convincing at all for him to be intimate with his man. Their connection was solidly in place. Kendall felt just as smugly satisfied as Michael, and he proved it by stopping what he was doing, and walking over and planting a mind-blowing kiss that had Michael reeling by the end of it.

“What was that for, Babe?” a rather stunned Michael said when he caught enough of his breath to talk.

“That, Sunshine, was to wipe the smug look off your face, and to make you a promise for later,” it was Kendall’s turn to smirk as he watched Michael’s cock react to his little surprise visit. He wiggled his eyebrows this time, and went back to unpacking. He didn’t need to see Michael’s goofy grin to know it was there.

Michael was quiet for a while. When he cleared his throat, Kendall knew something good was coming.

“So how long to later?”

Kendall just laughed and shook his head before uttering, “Are you ever satisfied, horn-dog?”

It was quiet again as Michael thought about it. “I think we should keep trying, just to see if it’s possible.”

 

After Kendall finished the unpacking, he got dressed and headed out to wash the offensive word off Michael’s navy blue pride and joy. A couple of minutes with a wet sponge and all evidence of the slur was gone, giving him a modicum of satisfaction. He just hoped there would be no other incidents to deal with. He trudged through the snow back to the apartment, where they made no further mention of it.

After a quick call to his parents to bring them up to date, Michael managed to get through to Arron just after four o’clock, as he was heading out from work to meet a friend at the gym. Arron was obviously excited to hear from him, and readily agreed to coming over on Wednesday night for take-out and hockey. He joked that Michael or Kendall needed to learn to cook, and he was available to give lessons. Michael joked back that he would let Kendall know about the offer for lessons. Arron laughed, and hung up after a promise to be there by seven o’clock at the latest.

Kendall was pleased things were working out so easily. He had lucked out with Michael’s therapist, who had answered the phone when he called. He appeared eager to check Michael’s progress after Kendall told him how well Michael was doing with his rehab. A Tuesday appointment was made available for eleven in the morning, and Kendall snapped it up. With everything taken care of, Michael’s suggestion of fitting in a workout at the Spectrum was whole-heartedly agreed to, and off they went. It turned out to be a good idea for both of them. Michael was able to handle a lot more of his workout, which had him feeling encouraged, and that in turn made Kendall happy as he concentrated on his own satisfying routine. The crutches made it too awkward to shower and change at the gym, so they left it for when they got home. They arrived back at the apartment, tired but feeling accomplished, ready to settle in for a quiet evening after showering, and changing into fresh oversized sweat-shorts and tee-shirts.

Kendall set about making them a pasta primavera with whole wheat pasta, while Michael sat at the counter conversing with him about the positive aspects of the day, taking notice of how Kendall’s turquoise shirt enhanced his eyes. The domesticity of cooking dinner sat well with both of them, as they worked their way around to a topic that had been on both their minds. As they talked, Michael sliced and buttered a baguette with store-bought spread for garlic bread, which he then wrapped in a loose cocoon of foil to go in the oven.

“So do you really want a three-car garage?” Kendall was slowing moving the sautéing vegetables around in the frying pan, getting them ready to add to the simmering canned tomato sauce.

“Ideally, yeah, but it’s not a must-have. It would give us room for our trucks and any toys we might get. What are you looking for in our first home?”

“Our first?” Kendall poured the delicious-smelling vegetables and seasoned drippings into the sauce, and dumped the pasta in the pot of now-boiling water. The garlic bread was placed in the oven.

“Well, yeah... we don’t know what will happen in the future. I mean we could end up with a ton of kids and need more room someday, or we might luck out and get the perfect house the first time… one that’s big enough for whatever we might need in the future.”

“Yeah, that’s true. I like the way you think.” His smile was eager and loving. The comment about tons of kids warmed his insides, and it hit him again how lucky they were to be at this point. “I think what I want most is something that looks homey, with lots of character. I don’t think I’d be happy in one of those cookie-cutter places, although as long as you’re there, I could live pretty much anywhere.”

“I like the way you think too, Deuce. I feel the same, but there’s no reason to settle. We get to pick something together. And I think we’re gonna need something with lots of room for your parents and mine, so they can come visit and stay over.”

“So then, maybe four bedrooms?”

“Yeah, or three bedrooms, and a basement we could convert to more bedrooms. The kind of house we can expand in would be ideal. I'd like a master bedroom that’s away from the guest rooms though, in case you ever want to do some loud praying at night again,” he laughed while Kendall grinned, blushing at the memory. “My dad taught me to be pretty handy with maintaining and renovating a house. You know I helped him renovate our whole basement when I was a teenager, right? I think I’d be up for the challenge if you’re game for a fixer upper. What do you think?” Michael’s excitement was starting to bubble up, and it was infectious.

“I’m definitely game for something like that. I kind of like the idea of working on our own house together. Getting all sweaty and dirty.” Kendall waggled his eyebrows at a chuckling Michael.

“Now who’s the horn-dog?”

“I’d say we both are, given the right circumstances.”

“Does that mean it’s ‘later’ now?”

“No, you idiot… we at least have to eat first,” Kendall winked as he licked a spoon covered in tomato sauce, catching Michael’s interest with the attention his tongue gave to the spoon.

“You are such a tease, Babe.”

“Yes, I am,” Kendall agreed, his eyes twinkling at the handsome man staring at him.

 

For how simple it was, dinner turned out delicious, and Michael showed his appreciation with compliments about how good and relatively healthy it was. When he asked if Kendall had been holding out on him, with hidden cooking skills, Kendall considered the question seriously.

“You know… it’s different when you have someone in your life you want to do things for. If it was just me, I wouldn’t bother cooking something. It used to be I would grab whatever, and when you came over after one of your dates, we would either snack, or order something in, if you hadn’t already eaten. If I didn’t eat with you, I always ate by myself, and I just didn’t see the point in cooking, except maybe a grilled cheese once in a while.”

Michael stopped eating, and a silence descended over them. Eventually Michael put down his fork and reached for Kendall’s hand, a sad look on his face at Kendall’s reflective and revealing words. “I am so sorry, Deuce; a lot of things about your life should have been better than they were, and much of that is on me. I never realized while I was out to dinner, or someone was cooking for me, you were eating alone. It just didn’t cross my mind, and it was selfish of me. Yet on some level, I had to know you weren’t dating, and if I was to be honest, I think a part of me, deep down, might even have liked that you weren’t.”

“Michael, that’s, I didn’t mean….”

“I know, but it wasn’t right, and I know you aren’t trying to make me feel bad, but I do. There are so many things I never thought about, and I feel like such a shit knowing how lonely you must have been at times. I should've been able to put two and two together… about a lot of stuff.”

“Okay, yeah, there were times I was lonely, but I still got to see you almost every day, and that was enough for me at the time, so don’t feel sorry for me. You were not responsible for my happiness then. That was the past, and this is the present, so don’t get them confused. Remember, in the hallway at the arena, before the tournament, when we promised each other the apologies for things that already happened were over with?”

Michael nodded with shimmering eyes.

“We’re talking about the past. So no damn apologies. It’s all changed now, and we’re in a different place than we were back then. Now you are responsible for a lot of my happiness, just like I am for yours, because we are finally together. I was only answering your question about cooking, and my point was it makes sense to cook now that we’re a couple. It wasn’t a judgement on how it was before. Please don’t take everything on yourself. I could have told you a lot sooner than I did, so I’m responsible for a lot of this big fucked-up misunderstanding we had. You were there for me every single day, and I could always count on you for that, and we did eat together, a lot. We spent a helluva lot of time together, Ace. I could rely on you for anything, and you were the best friend a guy could ask for. I’m over the moon with where we are now and that is what matters to me… not how we got here. Do you get what I’m saying?”

Michael had a mix of emotions going on inside, but clarity was breaking through the myriad of misgivings. He thought he’d dealt with the guilt, but there was still some there. "I agree the past is the past, but I think I need to keep what happened in the front of my mind… the things I did or didn’t do. It makes me appreciate what we have now, all the more. I thank my lucky stars every day for the way you are. I look at you and I see the devotion it took to hang in there for me, even when you felt sure we weren’t ever going to be together. Acknowledging your loneliness, and how badly my actions must have hurt you, again and again, makes me want to spend my life making up for it. Is that such a bad thing?”

“As long as you’re not beating yourself up over it, then I guess it can be a good thing. It’s the friendship we built first that makes what we have so strong, and all the not-so-great things that happened along the way are a part of it,” Kendall conceded as he smiled at Michael. “In a way, the pain of thinking I could never have you like this makes what we have all the sweeter, so maybe it’s the same for both of us, and remembering the past serves an important purpose, but I also think it’s unhealthy for us to dwell on it. All I know for sure is I’m not lonely anymore, and I haven’t been since the first time you kissed me. That was the cure, so as long as you keep kissing me, I should never feel lonely again. What do you think of that, big guy?”

“Just this,” Michael said as he leaned over and kissed his partner with all the love and passion he could muster. In spite of their talk, there was an apology in the kiss too. Pulling back, he looked Kendall in the eyes and asked, “Is it ‘later’ yet?”

Kendall should have been prepared, but Michael managed to take him by surprise again, making him shake with laughter. He was relieved at the release of tension, and finally managed to get out, “Eat your supper, horn-dog.”

Michael grinned. “Anything you say, Babe.”

 

Later, curled up together in bed, watching an episode of "Criminal Minds" on TV, Kendall was distracted as he thought back over their day. It had been a pretty full day. He had called his parents after supper and he and Michael found it both funny and enjoyable talking with them. Kendall was relieved to hear the animation in Carson’s voice as he participated in the conversation on speaker-phone. Uncertainty about his dad was something he figured would be present for a while yet, but family phone conversations like tonight, the like of which had never happened with the Dooleys before, helped to make a believer out of him. His father sounded healthy and confident as he engaged fully in the topics they discussed; he seemed more excited about Kendall and Michael getting a house than they did. It was actually kind of sweet how Carson made Michael promise to keep him updated on any houses they looked at and send him emails on the details. Kendall and Michael grinned at each other over his insistence, sharing the specialness of Carson’s enthusiasm, and what it meant.

It had been a good day, but Kendall being Kendall, recognized there had been a few bouts of drama between him and Michael. It had all ended well between them, so he was stuck on whether to leave well enough alone. His proclivity to overthink things made him decide to keep quiet and just enjoy the comfortable closeness they both seemed to thrive on.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Michael’s uncanny intuition served him well.

“Nothing, Sunshine, just thinking a bit.” Kendall was hoping Michael would be satisfied with his answer.

“You’re worrying about something, I can tell. Is it about our talks today?”

“Why do you think that?” Kendall was stalling for time, nervous about opening up a can of worms again.

“Two reasons. First of all, I know you, and secondly, I’ve been thinking about what we talked about too.” Michael turned so they were face to face, the TV show forgotten. It was an old episode anyway, and Michael sensed this was something important. “I think it all boils down to how much we care about each other, and there’s only good to be found in that. You went into protective mode earlier, and it took you explaining it for me to get it.”

Kendall sighed, and gave in. This talk was happening. “It seemed like I pissed you off though, and I worry things might change for us. You carry all this guilt around too, and I wonder if that’s going to affect us. I hate that you blame yourself when you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re perfect in my eyes, Ace.”

“See, that’s the thing… you put me on a pedestal, and I don’t feel like I deserve it. I think you’re the one who should be on a pedestal. You’re the one who has suffered while I was too stupid to know my own mind.” Michael was starting to look distraught, like he did earlier, and Kendall decided enough was enough.

“Michael Aceto. Fucking stop it! We keep going in circles here. You did not do anything wrong! We both took the long way to get to this point.” It was Kendall’s turn to take a deep breath to calm himself. “Listen to me; I do think you’re perfect and yeah, I do put you on a pedestal. There is something very special about you, and I’m not going to apologize for thinking that way. You have to stop feeling guilty. I get what you said earlier about not forgetting the past because it makes us appreciate this more, and it has some merit. But I think carrying guilt around is a bad thing in the long run. We had some tension between us a few times today, and I don’t like it.”

“But we’re communicating, and that’s what we should be doing. I think it was a good tension. You already helped me with my guilt, and the way you were worried about my safety, once I understood where you were coming from, made me feel so loved... and that is not a bad thing at all. I think we handled any tension that was there today, perfectly, because we talked through it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Babe. It’s what was on my mind while we were watching TV. I was thinking how much better I was feeling, and how good we were at letting each other know what we had concerns about, and working through them. It helped me realize I have more work to do on my guilt, but that could take some time. I also thought about how it was probably worrying you, and that you were likely fretting over it,” he grinned as he stared into those fiercely attentive eyes. Yup, his partner had been fretting.

“So you think we’re doing good at this relationship stuff?”

“I think we’re doing great. I feel like every day we get stronger, and today was another one of those days.” Michael loved seeing the smile that spread across Kendall’s handsome mug, a face that was rugged and fine-featured at the same time, a face that made his breath catch in his throat too many times in a day to count. Those startling eyes seemed to be drinking Michael in as he absorbed the words and feelings coming from his partner.

“So you don’t mind the drama?”

“It’s not drama at all, Kendall. It’s you and me finding our way through stuff that comes up because it needs to. I think it’s a part of being in a relationship, and we’ll probably be doing it for the rest of our lives. We've just gone through a tough couple of weeks in Calgary, right on the heels of us getting together, and I think we’re both full of all kinds of emotions. The main thing is, every concern we have is because of how strong our feelings are for one another. We’re building a life together, and there’s a lot at stake for both of us, right?”

God, Kendall loved this strong and sensitive man. “I’m glad you said that. There is a lot at stake, and you were right about me fretting. I was getting a little nervous, but I think you’re right about the talking… the communicating, that it’s the key to us getting stronger. At least that’s what I’m getting from this… from today.”

“Me too, Babe, me too.”

They shared a sweet and sensual kiss before turning their attention back to what turned out to be the end of ‘Criminal Minds’, but neither one minded missing it. They had each other, and they were back in their own home again.

“Shit, Michael, do you know what time it is?” Kendall whispered in his partner’s ear.

“Huh? Oh, I think it’s nine o’clock.”

“No, Sunshine… it’s ten minutes past ‘later’,” Kendall purred, raising goosebumps on Michael’s skin.

Michael caught on quick. “In that case, we got some time to make up. I love it when you’re the horn-dog,” he said as he attacked that perfect mouth.

“This is an equal opportunity relationship,” Kendall gasped out when Michael finally pulled his tongue out of his mouth, enabling him to talk.

“Yes, it is, Babe. You’ve got that exactly right,” Michael said… and then they got down to the business of proving it.

As always, thank you to my awesome editor, Timothy M, and to all those who read, 'like', and review my story.
Please join us in the COTT forum for more entertainment :boy:
www.gayauthors.org/forums/topic/39932-cards-on-the-table-by-headstall/
Copyright © 2017 Headstall; All Rights Reserved.
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I'm all out of likes but I promise to come back and "like" this chapter later. :)

 

I love how even when these two guys "argue" it's because of how much they care about each other. I have to admit that I was a little worried that K was going to say he felt guilty for making Michael realize he was gay and subjecting him to the homophobes. I think M might have had a few words to say about that. :o I agree with Michael...they still have some things to work through (like Michael's guilt) but they are talking and not bottling things up, which is the best thing they can do for their relationship. I wonder what their house is going to look like....I'm trying to picture North Toronto neighbourhoods. Not sure where they'd find a big house with a 3 car garage that didn't cost the earth :blink:

 

I am super excited about the dinner/game with Chet and Arron. :yes: I think those two are going to make M and K squirm! :D

  • Love 2

What a touching chapter--two strong mature men comfortable in managing/discussing their feelings! Like many early-onset couples, they're both overthinking things, though...sometimes merely accepting and verbalizing the feelings can be enough; kinda a verbal shorthand that still strengthens the relationship without leaving one feeling emotionally drained. Think that happens in long term relationships, and I'm looking forward to the guys getting to that point. This was a good chapter to help them get there.

And can't wait for the hockey game--gonna be both funny and fun when Chet and Michael play with M/K's matchmaking!

Another thorough chapter, buddy!

  • Haha 1

Another excellent chapter. Internet is acting up so I won't risk a long review. Just wanted to say that I like that Michael doesn't let things fester in their relationship. If he senses there is something on Kendall's mind or bothering him he wants to talk about it and get it out in the open. It's always good to be open and honest with your partner and these two are learning that with each other.

 

I am with everyone else - looking forward to the dinner night. That is going to be a fun evening for Arron and Chet ;)

  • Like 1

So I'm assuming the wild card was the random (or not so random) defacement of Ace's car. It had the effect of starting a series of talks which cleared up several matters: including how to handle the invitation of Chet and Arron. I was impressed how Kendall had noticed the hidden loneliness of both men, but I guess he had some experience to build on. :(

I had to laugh at Michael catching and gently teasing Kendall about fretting, and their intimate banter is delightful, relieving tension in so many ways. Including some much needed loving; twice - and we got excluded from both! :angry: Nah, just kidding, since we can go back to earlier chapters and read what most likely happened. :P

  • Like 1

Both need to stop trying to fix the past, neither has quite left it behind. There should be no guilt because no one intended to hurt the other. It seems both did a good job of hiding himself. Neither one is perfect and both contributed to the long road they travelled but they're here now and need to focus on what they have together. They love one another, each has something to give and each cherishes what the other offers. That's enough.

Takeout and hockey, ought to be an interesting night with the guys.

  • Like 1
On 05/02/2015 10:47 AM, Bucket1 said:
I can see why this would have caused you some problems. It was interesting to really see the interplay between the two. And for Michael to show that he had an understanding of what K went through.
Thanks for reviewing, Bucket. I think that emotions are running high with all these events crammed together. This chapter was like a decompression of sorts. The homophobic slur was a catalyst. It had a stronger effect than they initially thought, and walking into their place, I think it really hit home with Kendall. The worry they have for each other is beautiful, but at the same time it takes some emotional toll. Thanks again for reviewing... cheers
  • Like 1
On 05/02/2015 10:47 AM, LitLover said:
I'm all out of likes but I promise to come back and "like" this chapter later. :)

 

I love how even when these two guys "argue" it's because of how much they care about each other. I have to admit that I was a little worried that K was going to say he felt guilty for making Michael realize he was gay and subjecting him to the homophobes. I think M might have had a few words to say about that. :o I agree with Michael...they still have some things to work through (like Michael's guilt) but they are talking and not bottling things up, which is the best thing they can do for their relationship. I wonder what their house is going to look like....I'm trying to picture North Toronto neighbourhoods. Not sure where they'd find a big house with a 3 car garage that didn't cost the earth :blink:

 

I am super excited about the dinner/game with Chet and Arron. :yes: I think those two are going to make M and K squirm! :D

As always, a great review, Lit. I think Kendall was really shook up by that slur on M's truck. The first time you encounter that directed at you or someone you love, it's powerful, and impossible to just set aside. When I mentioned in the forum about channeling, it was Michael and his guilt that I experienced. Everything has happened so fast and Kendall has needed him to be strong, and it hasn't left much time for Michael to process how bad he feels about what he sees as letting the guy he loves, down. Even so, Michael will cope, and Kendall knows what is needed now. It's his turn to support M...and you're right.. their disagreements come from how much they love each other. Don't worry too much about the house :) Thanks for the review...cheers...
  • Like 1
On 05/02/2015 11:36 AM, Robert Rex said:
What a touching chapter--two strong mature men comfortable in managing/discussing their feelings! Like many early-onset couples, they're both overthinking things, though...sometimes merely accepting and verbalizing the feelings can be enough; kinda a verbal shorthand that still strengthens the relationship without leaving one feeling emotionally drained. Think that happens in long term relationships, and I'm looking forward to the guys getting to that point. This was a good chapter to help them get there.

And can't wait for the hockey game--gonna be both funny and fun when Chet and Michael play with M/K's matchmaking!

Another thorough chapter, buddy!

Thank you Rex! I think what happened here was an overflow of emotions, like a release valve popping open after all they've been through. It is never easy the first time you have hateful homophobia directed at you, and Kendall got rattled. The great thing is that these two know how to talk things through, in good part because of their long-standing friendship. They are just now getting down to actually building their relationship on this new level...I have no doubt they will get there. They ended up in a very good place :) Cheers...
  • Like 1
On 05/02/2015 12:13 PM, EagleIsaac said:
Another excellent chapter. Internet is acting up so I won't risk a long review. Just wanted to say that I like that Michael doesn't let things fester in their relationship. If he senses there is something on Kendall's mind or bothering him he wants to talk about it and get it out in the open. It's always good to be open and honest with your partner and these two are learning that with each other.

 

I am with everyone else - looking forward to the dinner night. That is going to be a fun evening for Arron and Chet ;)

Thanks, Eagle. I think Kendall is finding he can't hide a thing from Michael, now that M is tuned into him... Michael really is trying to make up for something that K feels isn't warranted. This chapter was a process I think they needed to go through, as they build something real. Great review... Cheers...
  • Like 1
On 05/02/2015 06:51 PM, Timothy M. said:
So I'm assuming the wild card was the random (or not so random) defacement of Ace's car. It had the effect of starting a series of talks which cleared up several matters: including how to handle the invitation of Chet and Arron. I was impressed how Kendall had noticed the hidden loneliness of both men, but I guess he had some experience to build on. :(

I had to laugh at Michael catching and gently teasing Kendall about fretting, and their intimate banter is delightful, relieving tension in so many ways. Including some much needed loving; twice - and we got excluded from both! :angry: Nah, just kidding, since we can go back to earlier chapters and read what most likely happened. :P

Thank you, Tim. you are right once again. That hateful act started the whole process of getting them farther along in their lives together. Yeah, Kendall doesn't miss too much, and neither does Michael, now that he has woken up. I'm glad you like the teasing and banter... it helps me get through the difficult parts...while I am writing they are often making me laugh. I figured they deserved their privacy in this chapter, so we just have to use our imaginations :) Thanks again, Tim, for a great review... Cheers...
  • Love 1
On 05/03/2015 01:39 AM, dughlas said:
Both need to stop trying to fix the past, neither has quite left it behind. There should be no guilt because no one intended to hurt the other. It seems both did a good job of hiding himself. Neither one is perfect and both contributed to the long road they travelled but they're here now and need to focus on what they have together. They love one another, each has something to give and each cherishes what the other offers. That's enough.

Takeout and hockey, ought to be an interesting night with the guys.

You are so right, dugh, and this chapter was about clearing the air once and for all, and recognizing that things will crop up with regularity. Kendall's attempt to keep things inside will never work with Michael... he is like a dog with a bone. As far as M is concerned... I think he finally gets that there is no need for guilt, and he will slowly let it go. That word on M's truck, while it shook things up, ended up accomplishing something important within their new relationship... great review, dugh... cheers...
  • Like 1

I would say that Michael and Kendall need to get out of their own way, but they do that in the best way possible. Nothing is left for brooding. Neither is perfect and there are going to be missteps and cobwebs from the past have to be dealt with, but they talk to each other. Worries and concerns get heard and and healed and put away hopefully, making in that much easier to move forward closer and stronger.

The plan to move forward with the Chet and Aaron set up is so very funny. Id like to imagine that Aaron was next to Chet during that call.

  • Like 1

Here I am, late to the party. :(

I'm not sure what you were so concerned about, G, it's a wonderful chapter that reveals the truth of a relationship. Despite knowing each other for years, this is new territory for them both: Michael may have dated before, but he never gave himself fully to the other person because it didn't feel right...and Kendall never considered anyone but Michael, so he too was a 'virgin'.

With Carson's illness, the two have not had the time to examine all aspects of what being an 'us' means; they'd examined how each felt about the other, and saw nothing but good things, but hadn't gotten beyond the bright glow of the new commitment. With Carson's recovery, they now find the time to reflect on all aspects of their new life together--and that is scary. But Michael had the answer--the past is done, use it to enhance the Now, not let it hover over them like a dark cloud.

Kendall, by nature, is going to be over-thinking everything, and Michael realizes that and is ready with the right responses. Kendall could very easily drive himself into a bad place which might endanger them, but Michael won't allow that to happen.

More please, and this was amazing!

  • Love 1
On 05/03/2015 05:16 AM, Defiance19 said:
I would say that Michael and Kendall need to get out of their own way, but they do that in the best way possible. Nothing is left for brooding. Neither is perfect and there are going to be missteps and cobwebs from the past have to be dealt with, but they talk to each other. Worries and concerns get heard and and healed and put away hopefully, making in that much easier to move forward closer and stronger.

The plan to move forward with the Chet and Aaron set up is so very funny. Id like to imagine that Aaron was next to Chet during that call.

Thanks Defiance, for an insightful review. You have it pegged exactly right. I think they each made good personal strides in this chapter, and it sets the groundwork for handling whatever gets thrown at them in the future. The more we talk about problems, when it comes from a good place, the smaller they become. That word on M's truck sort of opened the floodgates for some necessary feelings to be aired, and I think you get all this. I don't know if Arron was with Chet, but it was him he was meeting at the gym, when Michael called LOL. Thanks again, and cheers...
  • Like 1
On 05/03/2015 07:09 AM, Dathi said:
​Well done plastering over the solid foundation of a friendship grown in to a relationship that squares away the niggles from the past and allows both men to grow closer and more strongly together. Good communication is always the key and not ending the day with hard words or feelings unresolved. Very good job, thank you for sharing.
Your welcome, and thank you Dathi, for understanding the point of this chapter. There were things they both needed to say, and the process of it sets the tone for the future. Thanks for the review, and cheers....
  • Like 1
On 05/03/2015 07:11 AM, LadyDe said:
I love the communication between these two. They spent way too much time festering and living in their own heads. But they way they talk it all out and really listen is the key to a continuous and harmonious relationship. Chet and Aaron are going to have so much fun on Wednesday. :funny: I can't wait to read it. Excellent chapter, as usual.
Thank you, LadyDe! They do have something special... there has been so much to distract them, but they have each other through it all... and understand the value in it. Now it is their time, and their ability to communicate will ensure that their relationship grows and flourishes. I appreciate the lovely review... cheers...
  • Like 1
On 05/03/2015 09:05 PM, ColumbusGuy said:
Here I am, late to the party. :(

I'm not sure what you were so concerned about, G, it's a wonderful chapter that reveals the truth of a relationship. Despite knowing each other for years, this is new territory for them both: Michael may have dated before, but he never gave himself fully to the other person because it didn't feel right...and Kendall never considered anyone but Michael, so he too was a 'virgin'.

With Carson's illness, the two have not had the time to examine all aspects of what being an 'us' means; they'd examined how each felt about the other, and saw nothing but good things, but hadn't gotten beyond the bright glow of the new commitment. With Carson's recovery, they now find the time to reflect on all aspects of their new life together--and that is scary. But Michael had the answer--the past is done, use it to enhance the Now, not let it hover over them like a dark cloud.

Kendall, by nature, is going to be over-thinking everything, and Michael realizes that and is ready with the right responses. Kendall could very easily drive himself into a bad place which might endanger them, but Michael won't allow that to happen.

More please, and this was amazing!

Thank you so much, CG, for showing me once again that my own advice is worth listening to-to trust my instincts- You summed them up beautifully and I would add that Kendall seeing the guilt Michael carries, will keep himself on the right track. Insecurity has been a big part of Kendall's life, and with Michael's help, and his family's growth, that is receding into the past. Another terrific review, and I thank you for it... cheers, Buddy...
  • Like 1

Well, I happen to agree that what happened in the past should stay in the past – once it's acknowledged and dealt with. Kendall did not mean to make Michael feel bad about not going out and eating alone, but now that he's put it out there, it should be a liberating act for both of them.

 

So Chet and Arron's little 'gotcha!' scheme is playing itself out. I don’t how you intent to do it, but having those two hit it off extra hard, right from the beginning – say, Arron sliding into Chet's lap as the game starts, and them doing some heavy-duty tongue calisthenics – should shock the heck out of the two matchmakers. I think I'd love seeing that ;)

  • Like 1
On 05/05/2015 08:29 AM, AC Benus said:
Well, I happen to agree that what happened in the past should stay in the past – once it's acknowledged and dealt with. Kendall did not mean to make Michael feel bad about not going out and eating alone, but now that he's put it out there, it should be a liberating act for both of them.

 

So Chet and Arron's little 'gotcha!' scheme is playing itself out. I don’t how you intent to do it, but having those two hit it off extra hard, right from the beginning – say, Arron sliding into Chet's lap as the game starts, and them doing some heavy-duty tongue calisthenics – should shock the heck out of the two matchmakers. I think I'd love seeing that ;)

Hey AC, thanks for the review. Sorry for the delay in responding. I think what happened is this chapter was good for the guys. It really has been a whirlwind since they became a couple, and now they are home and ready to start building their life. You put it perfectly... the past should stay as the past once it's dealt with. The homopbobic slur was a catalyst towards opening up these conversations... They had three separate conversations of import today, and I really think it got them to a different place... one they needed to be at... They have this great friendship, but we all know a relationship is so much more. We'll see how the get together turns out :) thanks and cheers...
  • Like 1
On 05/06/2015 05:07 AM, aditus said:
I really like that the talk, they don't let things fester, which is good. I agree that the past is the past, still it made them to what they are now. Maybe they would be as good together as they are now, if it weren't for their past.

Can't wait for K & M meeting C & A.

Hey, Adi, I'm glad you liked that they talk because that was a heck of a lot of dialogue to write LOL. It really wasn't the chapter I intended to write, but they seemed to take it out of my hands. I really think they accomplished a lot though... I think they understand each other even better now. Thanks for the review, Adi. I'm glad you're looking forward to Chet and Arron's visit... I am too...cheers... Gary
  • Like 1

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