Thwarted - 56. Chapter Fifty-Six

“I need a fuckin shower.” Trey swung his leg off the couch and sat up from where he’d been leaning again Mark. He grabbed his walker and levered himself up off the couch. “Do we have anything to keep the bandages on my leg dry?”

“Yeah. I got some garbage can liners that we can tape over your leg.” Mark stood and hurried to the kitchen. “Do you just need one? Or two?”

“One is fine. The cuts on my left leg are superficial, my right leg took the brunt of the damage.”

Mark heard the thump of the walker and guessed that Trey had headed for the bathroom. He felt bad, but the bathroom was the one room that he hadn’t been able to make things easier for Trey, outside of having a shower chair that he could put in the tub. He made it to the bathroom just as Trey sat on the closed toilet lid, beads of sweat trickling down his face. Mark dumped the bag and the tape in the sink. “What do you need me to do to help you?”

“Just help me keep my balance while I get my pants off, and get in the tub.” Trey pulled his t-shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor next to the toilet. “May as well get in the tub and then get everything off. That way when I sit, I can stay sitting.” Trey held out his arm.

Mark grasped his forearm and helped him stand and the maneuver over into the tub. He helped Trey slide his pants and underwear down and then eased him to the chair waiting for him. Once Trey was sitting, Mark carefully stripped him of the rest of his clothes and then reached for the bag and the tape. He tried to be gentle as he lifted Trey’s leg and slipped the bag over the bandages, but he still felt horrible when Trey winced.

“Sorry.” Mark frowned and taped around the top of the bag so that no water could work it’s way inside and get the bandages wet. He swallowed hard against the lump in his throat at the sight of the visible cuts on Trey’s legs.

“Be glad you can’t see under the bandages.”

Mark jerked his gaze away from Trey’s legs and up to his face. Trey was watching him, but Mark couldn’t define the expression on his face. It was actually the lack of expression that worried him. He sat on the edge of the tub, reached over, and rested his hand lightly on Trey’s thigh. He watched for any hint of pain, but Trey’s face stayed completely neutral.

“Seeing your leg won’t change anything. I’m here for the long haul, not just when things are going right.” He hoped Trey knew that, but felt it needed to be said anyways.

“If you say so.” Trey shrugged. “I wouldn’t blame you if you did change your mind. In fact, maybe you should take some time to think about whether or not I’m really what you want.” Trey glared down at his leg. “Not only will I have scars, but while I’ll be able to walk, I’ll probably always have a limp. The weather will make it ache. And hell, to add insult to injury, I can’t get it up. So yeah, maybe you should think about things before you decide that you want to stick around.”

“You could have scars covering you from head to toe and I’d still be here.” Mark couldn’t believe the things coming out of Trey’s mouth. “I’d still think you’re sexy as fuck. I’m here because this is where I want to be, even if we can never have sex again, I’ll still be here. I love you. That doesn’t have a damn thing to do with your looks or whether or not you can get it up.”

Trey growled. “If you love me so fucking much, then where the fuck were you.”

“What—”

“At the fucking hospital. I woke up and there was Mom. There was Dad. But you were nowhere to be found. You should have fucking been there.” Trey shook his head and looked away. “You know what, you should just go.”

“I’m not—”

“Just go. Get out of here.”

Mark stood. He’d give Trey some privacy for his shower, but he wasn’t leaving, he didn’t give a damn what Trey said. “I’ll be in the living room when you’re ready to get out.” He reached up and pulled the shower head out of it’s holder and left it hanging within easy reach.

“I don’t need your damn help to take a shower.”

Mark turned and walked away before either of them said something they couldn’t take back. He’d known Trey was hurt that he hadn’t been there, and if he could change it, he would. But there wasn’t anything he could do about it. It had happened, and while it sucked, he couldn’t change it. He walked over to the couch and sank down on the soft cushions. His best hope was that it was just anger driving Trey and that when he had time to calm down, that he’d still want Mark around.

He’d known that Trey was upset he hadn’t been there, but hadn’t realized how upset he really was. The more he thought about, the more he beat himself up. If he’d been in the same situation as Trey, he’d feel exactly the same way. He’d be hurt and angry. And he’d probably have lashed out too. Mark sighed. He sat and listened to the shower running, and a little bit later, it shut off. But Trey never called out. Bracing himself for getting yelled at some more, he stood and made his way to the bathroom door and knocked gently.

“Trey?”

“Go away.”

Mark rested his head against the bathroom door and took a deep breath. “Trey, at least let me help you out of the tub, I don’t want you to fall.”

“I don’t need your fucking help.”

Mark heard a thud. Fuck it. Whether Trey wanted his help or not, Mark wasn’t going to let him hurt himself just to prove a point. He didn’t bother knocking and opened the door. He walked in, fully expecting to find Trey sitting in the bottom of the tub and breathed a sigh of relief when Trey was sitting on the edge of the tub. He closed the distance between him and Trey and reached down for him, only to be pushed away.

“Didn’t you hear me? I don’t need your help.” Trey’s voice cracked.

“I heard you, but now listen to me. You can push at me. You can yell at me. I don’t give a shit.” Mark sat on the edge of the tub where he knew Trey could see him. “I know you’re pissed at me, and that’s fine. I’m furious too. With myself. You’re right, I should have been there. Even if they hadn’t let me in, even though at least I knew you weren’t alone, I should have tried and kept trying until they either let me in or released you. If I could do it over again, I’d do everything I could to be at your bedside, because that’s where I belong.” Mark raked his hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have let anything keep me away when you needed me.” Mark buried his own pain at everything Trey had said and helped Trey out of the tub and to the toilet. He grabbed a towel from the cupboard and helped dry Trey’s leg and stomach. Once he knew there was no risk of getting the bandages wet, he undid the tape and slid the bag off Trey’s leg.

“I can do the rest.” Trey reached out for the towel, and Mark handed it over and stood back while Trey dried his chest and arms.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. You have no idea how sorry.Your dad told me I was doing the right thing, and I made the mistake of listening to him. He said that if you’d had the choice, as much as you’d want me at your side, that you’d never forgive yourself if I left and Jackie ended up with Matthew. But it doesn’t matter. I should have called Brent as soon as I knew and had him arrange for someone else to take Matthew while he met with Jackie.”

“Matthew.” Trey turned agonized eyes to him. “Please tell me Jackie didn’t get Matthew.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Mark gathered up the discarded clothes and tossed them in the hamper. “I’ll go get you something clean to wear.”

“Mark, wait.” Trey reached out and grabbed his arm.He no longer sounded angry, he just sounded scared. “Please. Did Jackie get Matthew?”

“No. Brent gave her what she wanted and I kept Matthew safe with me while Brent met with her.” Mark glanced briefly at Trey and turned back to the doorway. “I’ll just get those clothes for you.” He didn’t wait for Trey to say anything else and headed for the bedroom. He detoured to the kitchen, but was back within a couple of minutes with clean underwear, sweats, t-shirt, a bottle of water, and one of Trey’s pain pills. He handed the pill and water over. “No reason for you to be hurting any more than absolutely necessary.”

They didn’t talk while Mark helped Trey get his sweats and under on, but Mark didn’t know if it was just a brief reprieve or whether Trey would start in again. All he could do was wait and see. He left Trey alone to finish getting dressed and headed to the living room. His phone was flashing and he picked it up to see a text from Gary that they had landed and would drop by with dinner and to switch vehicles. He texted back a thank you and then just sat. He heard Trey come out of the bathroom, and heard the thump of the walker followed by the closing of the bedroom door. Trey had made it clear that he wanted to be alone and Mark would respect that. He might not be willing to leave completely just because Trey told him too, but he wouldn’t begrudge him some time alone if that’s what he wanted. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he heard the door open behind him. It would be hard for Trey to hold the door open and make it through, so Mark stood and held the door for him.

“Thanks.”

At least Trey hadn’t yelled at him for helping. “No problem.” He waited until Trey was through, shut the door, and returned to his seat on the porch. They sat in silence, but it was Trey that finally broke it.

“My dad was right.” Trey eased down in the chair next to him. He reached towards Mark’s hand, but then pulled back as though he wasn’t sure his touch would be welcome.

“About?” Mark reached over and threaded his fingers with Trey’s.

“That I would never have forgiven myself.” Trey huffed out a breath. “I’m sorry. I should never have lashed out at you. I was just hurt when I woke up and you weren’t there. I thought maybe….” Mark looked over and saw Trey shaking his head. “You know what, it doesn’t matter what I thought. I was wrong.”

“It always matters.” Mark hated himself for hurting Trey. That was the last thing he’d ever wanted to do.

“Not when I’m being stupid.” Trey chuckled. “It all worked out though. I’m here. You’re here. And unless losing my shit drove you away, we’re both going to be here for a long time.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“And neither am I.” Trey was quiet for a minute. “Want to go back inside and watch TV?”

“Sure.” Mark stood and helped Trey up, then held the door for him.

It didn’t take long to get Trey situated on the couch and in charge of the remote. Trey flipped through channels and finally settled on one. Mark wasn’t even sure what they were watching, but as Trey leaned against him, his legs stretched out on the couch, he didn’t care. He had Trey in his arms and that was all he really needed. He tilted his head down and brushed his lips over Trey’s neck. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Things were good. For now.