Tales of the Underground: Blinded - 22. Natasha's Report

As I felt the papers in my pocket I thought back on what I had done…I don’t regret it for a second. If this is what it’s going to take to get my second chance…then I’ll threaten everyone in the system, and god help them if they don’t listen. I’ve done much worse, for a lot less. This time it isn’t for drugs, or gang war…this time it’s to give myself a real home…to give myself what I want.

“So what was the yelling really about?” Aaron prodded, as we both started to get ready for bed.

I glanced over as I quietly snuck the papers from my pocket into my desk drawer “Told ya, it was bout back home.”

“You know we’re not that stupid right?” Aaron sighed “Mom and Dad are just too scared to call you on it.” I shrugged my shoulders but didn’t respond “If it went bad you need to tell them, they can…”

“I handled it” I growled, looking back at him.

“That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” He groaned, taking a seat on his bed “How do you know you didn’t mess this up?”

“Cause I know what I’m doin.” I spit grabbing a pair of shorts from the nearby dresser.

“You barely speak English…what if…”

I let out a deep breath as I started staring him down “You see the way she left here?”

“Yeah she practically ran out of here! It was like she saw a ghost!” He remarked, trying to piece together what happened.

A faint smile crossed my face “Exactly. There’s nothin stronger than fear.”

“If you say so” he mumbled “but you’re not even that scary.”

“Watchu talkin bout?” I yelped, taking a few steps towards him “When I first got here you couldn’t even look my way, when that cop came by you was shakin. Garuntee if you saw me in the southside, you’d be shittin yourself.”

“Whatever” he dismissed, rolling his eyes and shoving me away “Speaking of the cop…aren’t you worried he’ll find a way to drag you down.”

“Bruh I got a million pigs tryin to trip me up, and aint none of them been able to do so…”

“Except when you got arrested.” Aaron teased with a grin.

“They only caught me cause I wanted to be caught.” I lied with a quick nod.

“Sure thing” Aaron disregarded with a teasing smile “but still, what if he comes back?”

“Trust me, he don’t wanna take me back into the fray of gangs and police.” I shrugged “He’s a lot safer with me off the streets.”

Once more Aaron rolled his eyes “You’re soo dangerous.” He mocked, not really buying my words.

“We gonna do this again?” I sighed, laying back on my bed “Everytime I talk bout the saints you gotta go and not believe me.”

“Because it sounds like some cheesy action movie! I mean come on; a full-fledged gang really relied on a teenager?” He distrusted with a slight sigh.

“I was the only one with the southside who could actually run rooftops and never fall, you know what a weapon that is?” I explained, realizing what a key player I was to the gang “They needed more guns or drugs? I snuck into a hideout and jacked their shit. Need information on what a rival is planning, send me in the shadows and I’ll get it done. I made other gangs soft by taking their shit, and strengthened mine by giving it to them, and if I wanted something taken care of…well it got taken care of.”

“So what you made the orders?” Aaron skeptically poked, starting to get his own stuff together.

“Sometimes” I shrugged, getting up and heading towards the bathroom “and I’ll go back and do it all again if I have to…except this time I got names.”

Aaron shook his head, bothered by my words “I thought you were putting it all behind you?”

“I am” I exhaled standing in the doorway “but sometimes you gotta go back to go forward, until I got that adoption paper in my hands…I’ll do anythin I gotta.”

Aaron lightly laughed as I walked into the hallway “I think you’ll have it A LOT sooner than you think!” he called out.

“What’ the hells that mean?” I quickly let out, poking my head back into our room. He shrugged his shoulders and pretended to play dumb “Aaron!”

“Ohhhh what are you going to sick your gang on me?” he teased, still lightly laughing.

“What’s it mean?” I insisted, reaching out and kicking the end of his bed.

“Alright relax!” he calmed down, looking over at me “It means dads been working on this every day after work…I just wouldn’t be surprised if he had people pulling strings to get it done, and I mean the only steps we need to do are done…it’s just how soon you guys can go see the judge.” I nodded my head and turned back towards the door “Unless you just upset the case worker, and ruined it!”

“I didn!” I growled, getting annoyed by his doubt “Drop it.”

“I’m just saying, would it be such a bad thing if we maybe told dad what happened?” he threw his hands up, and made a face “He can make sure you’re not getting reported or…”

“Get the fuck outta here man!” I yelped, taking a step back towards the end of his bed “We ain’t tellin him shit. Everythin is fine, the report went well, I’m done.” I dismissed turning back around.

Suddenly I felt a push to my back, as Aaron leaned down and lightly kicked me “You’re so stubborn!”

“What is you 5?” I shouted, turning back and swatting him across the foot.

“That’s rich coming from you!” he mocked, pulling his foot away “Even 5 year olds speak better than you!”

I jumped on the bed and gave him a halfhearted swing to the shoulder, before I could brace he returned a smack to the face “HEY!” I shouted “You serious?” I asked trying to hold down his arms.

“Are you stupid?” he shot back, sticking out his tongue.

“We don’t aim for the face, asshole!” I reprimanded letting go and lightly elbowing him in the chest.

He sat up and did his best to push me off “Worried going to get uglier?”

“BOYS!” Nancy shouted, running into the room “Walter get in here and take care of your sons!”

Me and Aaron ignored her presence, and continued to wrestle anyway. Until finally I felt an older grip wrap around me and pull me away “What do you want me to say Nancy? They’re acting like brothers.” He shrugged “I’d be worried if they didn’t fight.”

I shrugged free of Walter as Nancy took a closer look “Aaron you could’ve really hurt him! He’s just a kid!”

“Yeah I’m jus a kid.” I teased, echoing her words

“He’s a year younger than me!” Aaron blurted out; shocked she was taking my side “and he started it!”

“You’re the one who kicked me!” I shouted starting to wander back for more.

Walter ran his hand up to his face and grunted “Would you both knock it off, you’re upsetting your mother. Just no more wrestling in the house, if you want we’ll get you a trampoline or something.”

“No wrestling anywhere!” Nancy blurted out, shocked by her husband’s words.

“They’re teenage boys…” he began “It’s what they do.”

“We weren’t trying to hurt one another.” Aaron sheepishly admitted “I wouldn’t hurt Cy…sometimes I just need to knock some sense into him.”

“and sometimes I just need to rough you up.” I teased, making a face towards him.

“See, it’s out of love.” Walter nodded “You both love one another rights?” he lead, knowing how to get his wife to leave it be. Me and Aaron looked to one another then away “Right?” he echoed in a stricter voice.

“Right” we both echoed in a low tone.

“See honey, everything’s okay” he comforted with a smile “Me and my brother used to knock one another silly. Trust me. They won’t stop just because we tell them to…I warned you this is what it was going to be like having 2 sons.”

“Aaron’s just such a quiet kid…” she trailed off, walking towards their bedroom “I never thought he’d start trouble.”

“For the last time it was Cy started it!” Aaron shouted down the hall as his dad walked out.

“You could’ve hurt me” I teased, echoing Nancy’s words once more.

He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh “Jokes on you, she’s never going to stop babying you now.”

“Don’t joke bout that.” I groaned, looking back at him.

“I’m not” he smiled “You’re her baby now, have fun with it! I’m finally free!”

“Asshole” I remarked, finally really heading towards the bathroom.

“Jerk” he shot back as I walked out. When I got back into the room a few minutes later, it was clear that his mood had changed “Hey” he let out, a slight look of concern painted in his eyes “You know I don’t mean it when I…”

“I know” I interrupted before he could start to get emotional “Like Walter said, we’re brothers…we would won’t hurt one another.”

He smiled, and nodded to my words as I climbed into bed “Good night” he exhaled shutting off the lights.

“Night” I pushed back, thinking back on the small fight…It was nice having a brother, knowing that as mad as we got at one another…that we would never actually hurt one another. We call one another names, and throw punches, but I know he’ll always have my back no matter what happens. Most importantly he was worried for me…he didn’t start the fight to be an asshole, he started it because he was actually worried I wouldn’t be adopted…actually worried he would lose his brother. The next day all I could think about was that damn report in my top desk drawer…that bitch almost ruined it for me, she almost took me away from Aaron, Nancy and Walter…away from Carter. I rushed through practice, doing my best to not get in trouble and eventually through dinner and right back into my room. I have to know what she wrote…how she saw me. The second I heard Aaron start the shower I ripped open the drawer and took the crumpled note out…

ILLINOIS DEPARTMENT OF CHILDREN AND FAMILY SERVICES

Case: Walker, D. Riley

ID: 1598002

Contact Type: In Person

Intervewees: Nancy James, Walter James, Aaron James, Riley Walker

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Record significant events and case contacts involving the case.

Created Worker: Natasha Davis, LCSW Created on: September 30^th, 2016

Narrative:

Riley Walker, also known by his various street names Cy, La Culebra and the Whisper. Known affiliate of the street gang, Almighty Saints; shows very little change in his past few weeks with the James family. Walker still clings to his street names, to the point of forcing his foster family to call him Cy. Although only 15 years of age, Walker’s presence clearly creates a tension the foster family is not capable of handling. It is clear the family pacifies his requests so not to upset him, an action that is met with unknown repercussions. Walker boasts an expunged record of multiple aggravated assaults and domestic abuse, it is clear that the foster family is aware, and cautious about putting him in a situation to add to the record. While he is only a teenager, it is clear that Walker is much more mature than he presents, the young man rules his new home the same way he became a lieutenant in his gang, by using his scars, tattoos, brands and damaged eye to create fear in those he interacts with. In my professional opinion it is clear that the family has developed a form of Stockholm syndrome around the boy, one that could put them at a large risk should Walker choose to resort to the violence he showed just a few months ago. Per my request Walker should be immediately removed from the foster home, and placed in a high risk group home to make room for a new foster child. While this may seem cruel, I ask the court to remember the past actions of Riley Walker. Walker is known for his ability to blend in amongst a group, until it is his time to strike, maximizing the chaos and violence he can create. Walker is a flight risk, and a danger to those around him. I believe his eligibility to be adopted should be revoked, and ask that he be retried for the new cases being built against the Saints gang members whom are awaiting court. Walker is also….

The pen scrambled off from when I took charge…from when I threatened her and demanded she write a new report. My heart jumped to my throat as I read the report over and over again…as I looked at the words wrote down on the crinkled paper…risk…violent…dangerous. I know I was those things…I know what I’ve done, but…I’ve worked so hard to change…to not be that kid anymore. I try to act different, to be more patient. I know I still steal every now and again, and start shit…but I don’t do anything like I used to…I haven’t hurt anyone…I haven’t even missed a homework! I crumbled up the report, slammed it right back into the drawer, and somberly headed downstairs.

“What’s wrong dear?” Nancy asked, cleaning up the table from dinner.

“Am I a bad kid?” I let out, not bothering to look up.

She dropped the sponge in her hand and immediately looked over to me “What?”

“am I a bad kid?” I repeated, still not looking up “Am I scary?”

“No..no, how could you think that?” Nancy asked, her voice coated in worry. I shrugged my shoulders but didn’t say anything “Where is this coming from?” Once more I refused to answer “Me and Walter…we were just talking about how lucky we are to have you, about how excited we are for your birthday on Saturday…and how sad we are that we missed the past 15. If I could do it all again, I would wander through the Southside and track you down.” She comforted lightly grabbing onto my face and forcing my head up. “When I was a little girl I used to dream of having my own kids, but when I became a young women I found out my body wasn’t able to…I spent a lot of years hating myself for it, thinking I would never know what it’s like to have my own children. Then we adopted Aaron, and I learned family was more than just DNA…and now we’ve met you…and I know for certain that family is more than blood.” She got a little lower to my level and wrapped her arms around me “You’re rough around the edges, and I’m sure you’ll get into your fair share of trouble… but you’re you and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“What’s going on?” Walter interrupted taking a step out of his office.

Nancy held on for another second before letting go and turning towards her husband “Cy was just asking if he’s a bad kid?”

“Of course not buddy.” He quickly let out “Where did you get that?” Once more I refused to answer the question “I’m so happy to have you with us, you’re a change of pace… but you make this exciting. You know who you are, and you’re not afraid to be it…we could all learn from that.” He encouraged “If this is about your birth father, or about the home visit, or the judge…or anything, know that no one will take you from us. We will adopt you, and you will be a member of our family. Come hell or high water, you’re my son, and I’m so proud to have you.”

My worries began to fade as their words hit me…fuck Natasha…fuck what she thinks…fuck her for only seeing who I was. I have changed…I have calmed down…I will be different…I will change the way this system works. “Hey…” I let out as they both stood together “Thank you…” my heart jumped to my throat, and I could barely hear my own words as I thought about it all “…Mom and Dad”

A small tear of joy escaped Nancy’s eye, but she did her best to hide it. She went to speak but Walter lightly grabbed onto her “No problem buddy.” He nodded; worried if they made a big deal over my words that it would scare me off. I let out a breath and headed back upstairs, done for the day. We’re a family now…a family.