Daydreamers - 35. Chapter 35

The day after Travis came to lunch was the first day of the apple harvest festival. We were going as a family. Travis and his aunt and uncle were going as well, so I said I'd just meet him there.

Driving to the harvest had to be planned carefully. You'd think that as big as our family is that we'd have a SUV or at least a van, but we don't. All we have is two small sedans-mine that's technically my mom's and my dad's. Mom, dad, and Kyle went in dad's car. I drove my car with Ty and AJ.

We parked together, of course, and walked into the festival together. The festival is free, unlike most festivals in this county. It's the last true tradition in Stone Lake. Everything else, as I'm told, went away when the popularity of living in a lakeside town increased in the mid-eighties.

Kyle ran straight to the games, dragging me along with him. Ty went straight to Mrs. Albert's pie stand and AJ went with mom to the crafts area. I spotted dad not knowing what to do. So I stopped Kyle and pointed to dad. We both nodded our heads in agreement and walked over to him. We each took one of his hands and brought him to the games with us. A smile lit up his face that I haven't seen since we went to the carnival together about a week ago.

Kyle got bored of the games quickly once he realized he wasn't winning and decided to go to the rides. I thought his behavior was a little strange for a kid almost turning fourteen, but he was probably excited to have dad with us.

Dad and I opted out of the rides. Kyle is pretty small for a thirteen year old so he can get on those mini rides. Dad and I are both over six feet and over 170 pounds. We couldn't fit on those rides even if we tried. So, dad and I just watched Kyle as he sat in the contraption, waiting impatiently for the ride to start.

"So...where's Travis?" dad asked.

"He's somewhere around here. I'll look for him later," I said.

He cleared his throat. "You seemed happy with him yesterday."

"He just told me that he's transferring here for his senior year."

"That's great," he said. "So...you really are happy with him?"

"Yeah," I said. "I can't imagine my life without him right now."

"I know that feeling. I still have it."

"With mom?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "It's a wonderful feeling."

"Dad, I just want you to know that I appreciate you doing your best to accept me and Travis. It really means a lot."

"I still don't know if I'm totally comfortable with it, but I'm definitely getting there."

"Maybe you should talk to Travis' dad. He's coming up this weekend to bring more of Travis' stuff. He could maybe give you some advice."

"Maybe I'll do that. Travis' dad...he...he's okay with this?"

"Travis came out to his parents a while ago. Right now he's totally cool, but it probably wasn't always that way."

"I love you, son. That's why I'm gonna talk to Travis' dad-see if I can't get some insight."

"Hey Sam." I turned around and saw Travis.

"Hey," I said with a smile of delight.

"Hey Mr. Sullivan," said Travis.

"Hello Travis," said my dad a little awkwardly with his voice really monotone.

Kyle came off of the ride very dizzy and walking as if he was the town drunk. "Remind me never to go on that one again," he said.

"Where is everyone?" Travis asked. I assumed he was talking about my brothers.

"Ty is probably somewhere stuffing his face and Alex is probably somewhere avoiding Brian." Oops, I let that one slip.

"Why would Alex be avoiding Brian?" dad asked. "I thought they were best friends."

"Oh, well, they had sort of a falling out this summer," I said.

"It wasn't over a girl was it? They can destroy the best of friendships."

"I don't think it was about a girl," said Kyle.

"Shut up," I whispered to Kyle.

"What's going on here?" Dad asked.

"Nothing," I said.

"There's something you're not telling me," said dad.

I looked over by the crafts and actually saw AJ. He was with Joey and they were holding hands. How could he be so stupid? Unless...Yes, Brian was right in front of them.

"Dad, why don't we go over to the dunk toss?" I asked.

"No, don't change the subject. I'm going to find Alex and get to the-"

It was too late. He'd turned around and saw Alex and Joey holding hands.

"What's this?"

"Dad, okay, just take a deep breath before you do anything that you'll regret."

"I have to go."

"Dad, don't," I begged.

"Tell your mother I'm sorry," he said. He walked away and I wanted to go after him, but Travis stopped me.

I walked over to AJ. He let go of Joey's hand. Brian had already walked off with who I think is his new boyfriend.

"What's wrong, Sam?" Alex asked.

"Dad saw you," I said.

"What?"

"Dad saw you holding hands with Joey."

"Shit, where is he?" he asked, looking around.

"I don't know. He just walked off."

"Shit, this isn't good," said Alex.

"No, it isn't. But I think I might've messed up, too," I said.

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"It's not your fault, Sam," said Travis.

"I might've mentioned to Travis that you were probably somewhere avoiding Brian and it just kind of spiraled downward from there," I said. "I just forgot that dad was standing right there and he wanted to know why you were fighting with Brian. I tried to change the subject, but that made him even more suspicious and then he turned around and saw you."

"Travis is right, Sam. It's not your fault," said Alex. "This was going to happen sooner or later. I guess fate picked today for me to come out."

I felt so bad. I felt like it was my fault that dad saw Alex. Of course everyone was trying to convince me otherwise, but I knew what was up.

I also felt badly about dad. I wanted to make things okay for him. I wanted to reassure him that everything was gonna be alright. But I knew that I couldn't do that alone. I had a plan.

I found my dad sitting on the shore of the lake. As I walked up to him, dirt crunched beneath my feet. He turned around, glanced at me, and then turned back to the lake. I kept walking and sat beside him.

"Dad, are you okay?" I asked.

"Two of my sons are gay. What do you think?"

I sighed. "I know that you think that maybe you did something wrong or maybe some higher power is punishing you for something, but it really isn't that bad."

"How can you say that?"

"Because being gay isn't some decision that I just made one day. It's something that's always been a part of me. Nothing you did made me gay."

"How can two of my sons turn out gay?"

"It's just the way things turned out."

"And how could you keep this from me for so long?"

"Well, you weren't exactly the most present dad in the world. But...I kept it from a lot of people for a long time. I couldn't even admit it to myself until about a year ago." I paused and threw pebble into the lake. "We're still the same people, dad. We're still you're sons. We're still the three little boys that you raised."

"Three?"

Shit. I did it again.

I winced when I had to say this. "Tyler's bi."

"Shit, this day just keeps getting better and better. And what's bi? Does that mean he still likes girls?"

"Yes, he still likes girls."

"I swear. Where did I go wrong with you guys?"

"You didn't. I told you that already, dad."

"Yet, three of my sons like boys."

"Dad, just because we're gay doesn't mean that we can't have the life you wanted for us. Maybe we won't be able to get married, but hopefully that will change someday. But we can still have kids. We can still have happy families. And who knows, Ty might fall in love with a girl someday and have a family the conventional way."

I signaled Tyler who wasn't far away. He walked over and brought Alex and Kyle with him. We all surrounded my dad.

"We're still your kids dad," said Tyler. "We're sorry that we kept this from you, but we just didn't know how to tell you."

"We still love you," said Alex. "And we hope that you still love us."

"Of course I still love you guys. You're my sons. I'm just not used to the gay thing."

"Bi thing," Tyler corrected.

"It took me some time to get used to it, too, dad," said Kyle. "But it's really the most natural thing in the world."

"One thing that this has come out of this that's really good-great even-is that I know that we can get through anything," dad started. "As a family, we can get through anything. I love you kids more than myself, more than anything. Together, we can get through this."

My dad put his strong arm around me. The two of us got up and all of us shared a group hug.

"I love you guys. Remember that. No matter what," said dad.

"Thanks dad," said Tyler. "I think you've mentioned that like five times in the last three minutes."

My dad chuckled. "Tyler..."

I don't remember ever feeling closer to my dad and my brothers. At that moment, I really did believe that everything would be alright. Inevitably, something always happens to screw things up, but I had faith that we could get through it as long as we were all together.