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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

A Fairy Out of Her Tale - Dear Diary - 4. Scene 04

In which Nessa wonders what could have been...

2nd January, 1995

Dear As Yet Unnamed Diary,

The sun is just appearing between the trees, so there's finally enough light for me to write.

My improvised bed held on well. As hard as it was to build, at least it was worth it. Things would've been so much easier if I could just ask the trees for help like I used to, but I managed anyway. I didn't plunge to my death mid-sleep, so I consider that a success.

I woke up long before the sun rose, though. I dreamed about yesterday. My step-father's face was everywhere, his grin turned to surprise turned to fear when I fought back his hold on me. The only difference was that, in the dream, mum arrived in time to save both of us.

She reasoned with my step-father in a way that I couldn't. She made him realise he was making a mistake working for the demons. My step-father fell on his knees. Asked for forgiveness. He loved his family, and would renounce his old boss to be with us. We forgave him, and our family became happy and whole again.

It's now almost a day since everything happened. You made me feel a bit better yesterday with the jokes about your name, but the dream dispelled whatever little light I had.

I don't think I'm ready to describe everything that happened yet. It'll make everything so much more... real... in a way that even losing my powers can't match. But I want to do it. As much as it hurts, I can't allow myself to forget it, to pretend killing another fairy wasn't horrible, gruesome, and my worst regret.

One day, years from now, when I manage to rebuild my life somewhere away from the forest, I want to look back to the things I wrote in here. I want to be able to remember everything that happened. I have to carry my crime with me for the rest of my life, no matter where I end up. So soon I'll write it all down before the details go away. I don't think I'll be ready for it when the time comes, but then...

Will I ever be ready?

Yesterday, I didn't give my step-father a chance to rethink what he was doing. Morumpi Matamatá died a traitor, a misguided fairy who thought serving the demons lords who enslaved us would lead him to greatness. I should've found another way to change his mind. Like our Mother Deity teaches us: we can change anything as long as we live. Only death is permanent.

I'm sorry I didn't give him a chance of redemption. But I panicked. He said horrible things and tried to take me away and I — I had to defend myself. That's not wrong, is it? I didn't want to be taken away like my father. All I could think back then was that I couldn't end up like dad. I couldn't let him do that no matter what.

But then it got out of control, and I lost everything anyway.

I'm going to stop writing now. You're making me wonder if I did the right thing in the end.

Thanks for reading!
Nessa is getting confused. Would she really have been able to avoid doing what she did? Did she do the right thing?
Those questions might be easier to answer when we have more context of what exactly happened. Someday Nessa will be able to tell the full story, and then all will become clear.
Or will it?
In case you’re curious about everybody's names: the main character is called Nessa. Her mother is Nelma. The step-father is Morumpi. And the brother is Oraci. All the names will appear eventually, there’s nothing secret or spoiler-y about them. The only reason they haven’t appeared yet is because Nessa is unlikely to refer to her family by name, so it’ll take some very specific situations for her to mention them.
The next scene will appear on Tuesday. If you’re too impatient to find out the answer to Nessa’s moral dilemma, though, you can become my patron and read a whole week’s worth of chapters ahead of everybody else (link on my profile).
Copyright © 2018 James Hiwatari; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

James Hiwatari
On 1/14/2018 at 11:50 AM, D.K. Daniels said:

Defense is defense. However, guilt and anything alluring are as equally downfalls when given the right circumstances. Its sounds like Morumpi was only looking out for best interests, though mistaken identities have come through before, not to mention conspiracy. Keep up the great work. :)

Morumpi was looking for whose best interests? It seems there's a rather important word missing there... ;)

 

According to fairies, though, murder is murder and you'll always be guilty no matter the circumstances. For them it's not about intention, but about the fact that a life has been lost. So the punishment of losing wings and power is technically never "wrongfully" given... 

Of course, Nessa is heading to an adventure in a land where people don't necessarily think like the fairies do, so whether the "rightful" punishment will remain "fair" in Nessa's mind is not so easily guaranteed...

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D.K. Daniels
13 hours ago, James Hiwatari said:

Morumpi was looking for whose best interests? It seems there's a rather important word missing there... ;)

 

According to fairies, though, murder is murder and you'll always be guilty no matter the circumstances. For them it's not about intention, but about the fact that a life has been lost. So the punishment of losing wings and power is technically never "wrongfully" given... 

Of course, Nessa is heading to an adventure in a land where people don't necessarily think like the fairies do, so whether the "rightful" punishment will remain "fair" in Nessa's mind is not so easily guaranteed...

Morumpi could have possibly trying to better himself, that's what I mean about best interests. Though then again there could be the odd notion that he would be trying to save Nessa from a horrible foreseeable invasion of the fairies. Yeah in some culture murder is murder, though it depends on what fairy you speak to, right. I mean they probably wouldn't have a problem going neck to neck with the antagonist. Sometimes cultures have to leave their customs behind in order to survive and that's only accomplished through fighting, though everyone much prefers the problem just floated away.

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James Hiwatari
On 1/17/2018 at 11:46 AM, D.K. Daniels said:

Morumpi could have possibly trying to better himself, that's what I mean about best interests. Though then again there could be the odd notion that he would be trying to save Nessa from a horrible foreseeable invasion of the fairies. Yeah in some culture murder is murder, though it depends on what fairy you speak to, right. I mean they probably wouldn't have a problem going neck to neck with the antagonist. Sometimes cultures have to leave their customs behind in order to survive and that's only accomplished through fighting, though everyone much prefers the problem just floated away.

Well, I suppose it's fair to say he was looking out of his own interests, though whether his interest was "getting on the demon's good side" or "help my beloved step-daughter in a really roundabout and illogical way that involves a lot of lies and deceit" is still a mystery at this point. The good news is that in two weeks or so you'll get Nessa's side of the story in full, so you can make your own conclusions. 

Fairies are definitely not a hive mind, so there are definitely some that don't care whether other have their wings or not. That said, fairies are probably the most "homogenous" society in this world, because their abilities allow every fairy to potentially keep in contact with every other fairy, even in different continents. As a result, they haven't developed different fairy languages (only dialect). The very real consequence for murder makes them unlikely to "not believe" in the core principles of their religion either (though other details do vary). And as a race that abhors violence, it would be surprising to see them taking up arms to preserve their identity (maybe that's why so many of them are being captured?) 

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