A Fairy Out of Her Tale - Dear Diary - 42. Scene 42

16th January 1995

Dear Diary of Anticlimactic Mysteries,

I got bored of all that calligraphy (it sucked as an artwork, didn’t it? Which means it sucked even more as actual writing…)

At least now everybody is back from school. I heard Unn and Kris’s voices arguing in front of their rooms. Kris sounded a lot more aggravated than Unn. Then a door slammed (my guess is that it was his) and that was the end of it.

I haven’t heard from Lydia yet. I want to say sorry and turn that page from our history.

If only it was as easy as turning your pages!

I should think of a plan to get Lydia to like me again. I mean, I can go up to her and say I had no idea of the social taboo I unleashed and I can promise I will never, ever do it again. But that’s so… common? Boring? Uninteresting?

We’re talking about the love of my life here! I have to do something that will make a lasting impression, that will made Lydia see how special she is and how much I want to keep our relationship going and have a family and have kids and all the rest. I need something big. Something like "giant-I’m-sorry-message-written-in-the-sky-above-our-heads” big, though not exactly that kind of thing because I don’t have the money or the language skills or the contacts to pull it off.

So it needs to sound like I’m writing big in the sky, without involving the actual sky (and preferably without involving any letters either. You know how much I suck at those).

You don’t have a plan, do you? Let me know if you have an idea, because at the moment I’m just sitting here staring at your page with a mind emptier than the desert around Daisen.

Staring.

Staring some more.

Hint: that’s when you say something awkward to break the silence.

And then I fake-laugh so you don’t realise how you made everything even more awkward.

Have you thought of anything yet? I hoped staring at the page would help me think.

But you’re really distracting.

Maybe I should ask Unn to let me use her lift to have dinner with everybody else. Though it would mean having to look at Lydia and Kris and try not to be awkward around them…

I guess I’ll have dinner on my own again.

If it wasn’t such an embarrassing problem, I’m sure I could even ask Lóránt for help. They probably know the most effective way to apologise to a dwarf. But can you imagine the scene?

‘Hi, Lóránt. I had explosive diarrhoea in front of Lydia and now she isn’t talking to me anymore. How can I convince her I don’t normally poop while we’re making out?’

And that’s ignoring the possibility that there is actually some rule forbidding us from making out with our housemates. Lóránt could just tell me I shouldn’t be eating Lydia’s face anyway and refuse to help.

Life is so difficult!

But you know what? Every time I think that things are difficult now, I get a flash of memories from last week. I’m trying even now to not remember the details, but I shouldn’t forget that this week has been a blessing compared to the previous one. If our Mother Deity decided that the best way to punish me for my crime was to have love troubles, I shouldn’t complain. I should be glad I haven’t been taken by the demons, that my stitches are finally healing (Lóránt promised they’ll be out tomorrow! Yay!), that I have an angel guarding me from trouble.

When you put things that way, it does make me feel better.

I dealt with an almost-kidnapping, I almost died in the desert, and I saw people be killed trying to protect me. What is all that compared to a misunderstanding over bodily functions?

I’ll find a way to make up to Lydia. You’ll see.