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- 07/17/2018
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A Fairy Out of Her Tale - Dear Diary - 68. Scene 68
29th January 1995
Dear Nessa (and Kris if you’re still there)
The drilling has begun! Lydia is carving the tunnel as we speak! (or rather, as I write!)
It might be a while to get to you, though, because we decided it would be safer if we started digging from inside the house. Lóránt removed some floorboards (the kitchen is a mess! It’ll be gre—————————-at cleaning it all up when we get back!)
(I bet you felt my eye roll through the paper right now)
At least this way we also avoid the annoying reporters hanging outside. Can you imagine the fuss it would be if they saw the three of us leaving and Lóránt refusing to comment where we were heading to? That would definitely sound suspicious enough to tip off Zhofie. And it would be even worse if the paparazzi followed us and saw us digging. That would be our entire plan gone down under!
(You better laugh at my puns. It’s a lot of effort to come up with good stuff to write while my entire body is rattling because Lydia can’t make perfect smooth surfaces for my tank.)
Actually, it’s pretty messy around here right now. Lydia is covered in dirt, Lóránt has squashed their wings to fit Lydia’s tight opening (that sounded sooo wrong… and yet I made a point of writing it that way. Go figure…) and I’m doing the most incredible acrobatics to avoid getting water splashed on the diary.
Bottom line is: we’ve got an awful long distance to go, so don’t expect us within the next hour or two. I know it’s going to be a boring wait, but trust me: watching Lydia dig through solid rock with the power of her mind is not that entertaining either. I mean, it was at first. I had no idea how dwarf elemental abilities worked, though I was sure it couldn’t be like mine (there’s no way dwarves can do ecolocating calls under water to command friendly sharks to slice your enemies to bits, is there? Didn’t think so).
I think I know you well enough to assume you don’t know how Lydia does her magic either. When Lydia first touched the bare ground, I assumed she would go all psychic on it and order it to move with her thoughts. But no. It’s not often I’m wrong, and I hate whe it happens. She dug a small hole in the same mundane way you and I would do. Anti-climatic. I even worried she was planning to dig like that all the way to the demon’s lair (in which case it would be more efficient to have Lóránt do the job and that would mean my entire plan was entirely pointless! How dare she toy with my perfect machinations this way?). But no. Thanks Dwarf Deity (whatever you are)!
Lydia sang into her little hole (again, that sounds wrong. Again, I don’t care. You’re Lydia’s girlfriend, so I’m sure you have a much more vivid picture of that wrongness than I do). She sang to the earth, and it crumbled away. It’s an upbeat tune, the kind that makes you want to march into the sunset and carry on until sunrise. I’m really sick of that tune by now because it’s the same one on a loop, and we’ve been hearing it for… I don’t know how long it’s been, only that it’s been long enough.
Soon I might be able to transcribe the lyrics, even though I don’t speak a word of that language.
The earth opens up slowly, though. It has to create a tunnel wide enough for a huge angel to pass through (I’m sure dwarves are not used to digging tunnels taller than themselves), so Lydia ends up focusing the song to make the tunnel big, and is sort of forgetting to make the ground smooth for my tank. When I complained about it she had the nerve to say we don’t have time for those “extra” comforts. As if being able to move across town in a tank that is not rattling and spilling water everywhere is an extra luxury!
She’s making us go down again. I’m going to have to stop writing because this definitely won’t be pretty.
We’ll get there. Some day.
Unn
Lydia is going to rescue Nessa with the power of song, and it's not even a love tune!
(If she tried that kind of music on the rock, it would probably melt back into lava as the living embodiment of people's hearts melting with a good love tune. Yes, dwarf magic is weird. No, I didn't make the rules)
(Actually I did...)
If you want to sing me praises for this very original plot twits, feel free to head to my Patreon page and make a nice long melody of bank notes and credit cards come out of your wallet. Any spare change you throw my way (from $1 to $100, I'm not picky!) goes a long way towards ensuring my ability to pay bills and thus have a working computer in which to continue writing this plot.
Next time we'll see if all the singing did them any good or if Unn is going to have that tune drilled into her memory until the end of time.
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Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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