A Fairy Out of Her Tale - Dear Diary - 39. Scene 39

NOTES FROM “DIGGIN’ WITH DWARVES”

Quote

Dwarves are one half of the Earth race, though casual observers would be forgiven to think they are Fire beings. Their other half, the Giants, are often mistaken for being of Ice.

I can definitely feel Lydia’s fire. She doesn’t seem like an Earthy being at all. I wonder what giants are like (other than really tall, that is).

Quote

The division between Dwarf and Giant is unique among the Six Great Elemental Races. While other races present sexual dymorphism reflecting different roles in reproduction, Dwarves present no sexual dymorphysm at all, and neither do Giants. Instead, Dwarves invariably produce the sperm that fertilises a Giant’s egg.

 

I knew Lydia has a penis, but I don’t remember ever learning that all dwarves do. Maybe it’s a failure of the fairy education system?

This book has this really weird obsession with writing Dwarves and Giants and Six Great Elemental Races and any other words it thinks need Special Emphasis in All Capitals. Weird. I think my grandma wrote like that. This book is not even that old - it’s from 1990! Maybe the author is as old as grandma.

This note is a reminder to look up Jurandir Marapuama - find out how old he is and if he shares anything else with dad other than his name.

Quote

Dwarves, due to their short stature and weak constitution, are considered too weak to survive in the outside world. Giants, on the other hand, have evolved to fight and protect their other halves. This is why Dwarves live in villages carved inside mountains, and Giants stablish communities outiside the entrance of said village, guarding it from predators and other dangers.

 

Dwarves have weak constitution? Lydia seems healthy enough to me. And her body is made of hair and muscles in equal measure, so she looks anything but sickly.

Quote

Traditionally, Dwarves and Giants only interact once a year during the Valley Festival. This is the time those of reproductive age leave their communites and engage in life-generating activities for an entire week. Aphrodisiac drugs are often consumed.

 

Dwarves have giant orgies when they want to have babies? Though by the looks of it they don’t know any of the giants they are potentially having sex with. I wouldn’t want to have a child with someone I’ve never met before.

Quote

Gestation takes half a year. Babies born with Uterus will develop into Giants, and those with Testicles will become Dwarves. One and a half years after the Babies are born, they go with their Mothers to the Valley Festival. Dwarves bring them inside the mountain at the end, where the Children will remain for the next decade. The entire Dwarvian Community brings up all the Children as one. Giant Children are taken back to their Mothers around the age of 11 or 12, when they outgrow the Dwarvian tunnels. All Children then go through a Ceremony of Initiation to Adulthood.

 

I can’t decide whether I like the dwares’ way of life or not. I like that everybody takes care of the children together (it resonates a lot with our fairy believes, even if we have a proper “father, mother, lovers” household structure that they lack). But it’s so sad that the only time dwarves and giants get to actually live together is when they’re children… Do they recognise each other when they grow up and meet again at their yearly orgy?

(Note to self: propose yearly orgy to Lydia when we make up)

(Though make it clear Kris is not invited. Just in case she thinks its ok for him to come along.)

Quote

Social Taboos: Dwarves do not tolerate mentions or discussions of bodily functions relating to the digestive system. Dwarves are particularly susceptible to Diseases from untreated biological waste.

 

At least I know Unn wasn’t lying to me. Sort of. The book doesn’t say anything about them not liking farts due to their smell.

Quote

Dwarves are generally mistrustful of Outsiders (other than Giants). They are small-minded creatures who will take any phrase they do not understand as an insult and any attempt at genuine Friendship as a business relationship with ulterior motives.

 

I don’t think the author likes dwarves.

Quote

Fairies are advised to stay clear of Dwarves unless absolutely necessary. Dwarves are not your Friends. They will never be your Friends. Stay away from them.

 

Never mind. The author definitely doesn’t like dwarves. Why write a book about them, then?

Quote

In Conclusion, Dwarves and Giants are strange beings who should be aproached with caution. Fairies will not gain their Trust easily and are advised to not waste their time trying. However, Dwarves’ strangeness is what makes them worth observing from a distance.

 

I think it’s the author I don’t trust.

Quote

Jurandir Marapuama lives in Enkyo and is currently married to a Dwarf. They have three children and seven grandchildren.

 

I… I don’t know what to think anymore.