A Fairy Out of Her Tale - Dear Diary - 34. Scene 34

14th January 1995

Dear Dairy of Surreal Expectations,

Lydia doesn’t have the telepathic powers my fantasies hoped for. She didn’t hear my mind screaming her name and begging for her to show up in the office while nobody else was around. She appeared in my dreams, sure, but that’s not the same thing.

The one who eventually showed up was Lóránt, but by then it was already morning and I had been asleep on the couch in just the right position to give cramps to all the major muscles in my body. Lóránt called my name until I woke up. I had been dreaming about making out with Lydia at that point, so at first I didn’t realise they were calling me. Their voice came out of Lydia’s mouth, calling me with such sexy urgency I didn’t even notice she had the wrong voice.

Of course, once I woke up I was properly horrified of ever associating Lóránt’s voice with sexiness. That’s all levels of wrong and creepy.

‘I was wondering where you were,’ they said once I resigned to the fact that I was no longer in a heated make-out session with my current crush. ‘Are you having problems to sleep?’

‘A little,’ I answered. Sure, I can’t think of anything other than Lydia at the moment, but I’m not going to pretend this isn’t in part to keep away other types of thoughts that will only make my life miserable.

The dream about Lydia could’ve easily turned into a nightmare with demons and blood and pain. I don’t want to go there. I don’t want to remember what the last two weeks have been like. Maybe it means I’m overplaying my attraction to Lydia and my obsession with joystick grabbing. But can you blame me? I would much rather be playing tonsil hockey with her (or, Mother Deity allowing, giving her very grabable, soft arse the time of her life) than swallowing in pain and misery.

Anyway, bottom line is Lóránt promised to do something to help me sleep without resourcing to unhealthy playing habits. I didn't tell them all I needed was to sleep next to Lydia, though. Unless I was calling her name out loud with the same intensity I was in the dream, Lóránt wouldn’t have a clue about my crush. And that’s probably for the best while I haven’t talked to Lydia or even figured out if there are rules about dating housemates.

I’m about to finish the last bit of my breakfast. All I want after this is to go to Lydia’s room and have a conversation that will hopefully end with us doing some amount of very intentional body touching. Today is not a school day, so as long as I can figure out where Lydia’s room is, I’m fairly certain I’ll find her there.

Wish me luck!