A Fairy Out of Her Tale - Dear Diary - 50. Scene 50

20th January 1995

Dear Diary of Friendship is Magic,

I came back, see? And it didn't even take that long. Now where was I?

(Hold on, let me decipher the hand-writing on the entry above this one.)

Yes, yes, Lóránt announced we should talk about Unn. Then there was this dramatic silence that I may or may not be imagining as a way to put up the tension, and we all looked at each other as if we all reached the same conclusion at the same time.

'Is she dead?' Lydia asked.

I knew Unn wasn't dead from the little conversation Lóránt and I had beforehand, but Lóránt was being so solemn that I would've believed them if they said Unn had died in her sleep the night before. It was that kind of dramatic silence, you see?

'No, she isn't dead. But she is really sick and I believe it happened because you enabled her to eat something forbidden.'

'Not me!' Kris put his hands up in a sort of surrender position, or more likely a "this has nothing to do with me" stance.

'Did she say what happened?' Lydia asked. I don't think I was imagining her look of concern. Or was it guilt?

'As a matter of fact, yes, she did.' Lóránt turned fully to Lydia. 'She said you promised her ice cream if she talked to Nessa for you.'

Kris whistled at this, rolled his eyes and smirked. Lóránt turned their head so fast I thought they had broken their neck. And since Kris was sitting next to me, I too got a taste of the the full on "this-is-no-joke" stare they sent Kris. It promptly terrified me, and I swear I saw sweat drops forming around Kris's forehead as he tried to keep his cool. Lóránt took a long time to turn back to Lydia, and once they did so, Kris's body slipped down his chair in relief.

'I understand you are at an age when relationships are volatile and egos are easily wounded. I don't expect you to have the level-headedness or even the emotional intelligence of a fully-grown adult, but you are just a few months away from full adulthood, Lydia. You don't have much longer to develop those skills. I certainly hoped you would have realised Unn was about to do something harmful to herself.'

Lydia looked down. Lóránt didn't sound angry with her (definitely nowhere near as angry as mum sounded when she threw me out of the house), more like "disappointed", maybe?

'I'm sorry,' she whispered.

'The responsibility is not just Lydia's though,' I said, and both Lóránt and Lydia looked at me (I didn't dare turn to see if Kris was paying attention). 'Unn told me she knew of the risk, but thought you were being over-protective of her, and being sick was a worthy price to pay for her favourite food. She knew what she was doing, and I'm sure she would've done it sooner or later, whether Lydia was there to bribe her or not.'

'That is true.' Lóránt sighed. 'This is not the first time Unn eats ice cream and gets sick from it. It's not even her first time under my watch. But she is 16, while Lydia is 19 soon to be 20. Out of the two of them, Lydia should've been the most level-headed one. She should've acted like an adult to prevent her friend from making an infantile decision.'

'But that's not fair! Unn is old enough to know better than anybody else the consequences of her actions on her own body! You can't be holding Lydia responsible for not treating Unn like a kid who doesn't know anything!'

Lóránt raised an eyebrow. 'You think so? I'm not surprised. You are 16 years old too, after all.' They fully opened their wings. It made for an intimidating display, though the displaced feathers flying everywhere diminished the effect. 'I'm not going to say anything else about who is to blame for this, then. If you're as grown up as you think you are, then I should let you arrive at your own conclusions. But regardless of what you think about this situation in particular, remember that you came to this house for a reason. There are demons out there who want you dead or handed over to them, and I can't always come save you. It would be better for everyone if you learned to watch each other's backs too.'

How did they make me feel so guilty all of a sudden? Lóránt wasn't even looking at me anymore, but it felt like they had dropped a huge weight in the room and nobody could pick it up.

'I'm sorry.' Lydia apologised again. I wanted to do the same, but Lóránt wasn't done talking.

'I don't want to force relationships if your personalities are ultimately incompatible, but it's worth reminding you that right now you're each other's best defence and support. It wouldn't hurt to at least try to develop friendships and look out for each other's wellbeing. Or to reach out and apologise when you hurt someone else.' They weren't looking at anyone in particular, but I saw from the corner of my eyes Lydia looking down again. 'I have nothing else to say for now. I don't want to make you late for school. If you need me, I'll be in Unn's room.'

Lóránt left, closing their wings only when it was time to pass through the doorway. The 3 of us looked at each other, as if daring someone else to speak first.

Kris stood up, left the table and proceeded to rummage the cupboards for his cereal. This left Lydia and me in the most uncomfortable silence ever, avoiding each other's gaze and definitely not wanting to be the one to make the first move. We stayed like this until Kris came back with his breakfast. He sat in the same chair as before, even though he could've chosen any of the other five empty places. He ate cereal without milk in a bowl that was as sparkly pink as my favourite clothes (even though I knew for a fact that we had plenty of other more "depressing" looking bowls that would've fit his personality better). He looked at us and rolled his eyes.

'Say sorry already. You're ridiculous.'

'And you speak Fadalesh?' I turned to him. How dare he get in the middle of our personal teenage drama?

'A little. Enough for this.' He shrugged. 'You two need to converse. It has been a long time.' He turned to his cereal and proceeded to ignore us after that.

'Maybe we do,' Lydia slumped her body on the chair. 'I'll find you after school. I'll be late if we do it now.'

'Sure.'

Lydia went to get her breakfast, and I decided it would be better to wait until they were gone to have mine. It would be too awkward to stay there if we weren't talking.

So now I'm in my room waiting for Lydia to find me. It'll still be a while until she's back, but I'm sure I can keep myself busy while I wait. Imagining our conversation or... something else.

(And don't make that face. I know you know exactly what I mean.)