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Poems and Short Quips - 7. The Scratch in the Surface

Vicious words

Jarring my mind

Piercing my gullet

Wrapping a choke-hold of repression around me

Like a scratchy wool scarf yanked around my neck

Like a thick blanket wrenched around my head


You stand there with your hands on your hips, your head cocked to one side,

That familiar glint of cruelty in your intimidating blue eyes.

You don’t know the influence you have over me.

Or maybe you fucking do...


I attempt to focus my attention elsewhere

On the potted jade plant,

On the tattered Turkish rug,

On that long scratch in the surface of the hardwood floor that we've never sanded out.


Anything to keep from having to focus on you.


A familiar heat rises up in me, spreading through my body like scalding liquid

Burning my limbs, my neck, my cheeks, my eyelashes.

As always, this is the time when thoughts cease to circulate,

When I’m numb and angry

And unable to vocalize a single thing.


I'm a zombie.

I'm a mannequin.


Listening to your vicious words

Which jar my mind

Pierce my gullet

Wrap cruelly around my neck like a scratchy wool scarf,

Choking me.


I swallow it all down,

I ingest the bitter pills you spew,

Because I'm mired in this delusional bullshit

Just the same as you are.


And that scratch in the surface will never be eradicated, my love.

No matter how hard we scrub at it.

Not a happy poem, but it was therapeutic for me at the time I wrote it. Poetry's a great outlet.

Copyright © 2017 MacGreg; All Rights Reserved.
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I can really relate to the inability to vocalize and turning into a zombie and mannequin. People tend to think of only two responses to stress or danger: fight or flight. But there's a third reaction... freeze. Which is what happens to me during times of confrontation. I hope things are better for you since you wrote this. :hug::kiss:

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This broke my heart. So much pain. Having to swallow the hurt each word brings. You're right some scratches can't be removed or repaired.
You voiced the pain and humilation of abuse beautifully.
tim xo

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I'm glad you wrote this poem because it's accomplished and powerful...but I regret you had to create in the first place...



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This stuck so close to home, Mac. I felt every word... that feeling... avoidance, helplessness, sorrow, just not knowing what to do because nothing seems to work... you've exhausted yourself, and you can't breathe, but you don't want to give up... and you don't even know why anymore... you left me awash in memories that have faded, but can still send me reeling... outstanding poem, buddy... G

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What a powerful response to a horrible place you felt you were in. And I can relate, each word a missile, a brickbat, a stone thrown at your head and heart. I am glad you are not there, now.

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I like it. I love the imagery and metaphors about love. Love the scratchy scarf, not literally, but it's very itchy and scratchy.

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The pain, the helplessness towards love, the mixed up emotions and taunts. A powerful and painful poem, yet the suffocating strength to deal with it. They all touched my heart. It's true that some scratches never get repaired or leave a mark even after got repaired.


That was very powerful poem Greg. :hug:



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