Catering with Benefits (1) - 8. RAJ

Raj asked for the night off from his family’s restaurant, even though it was a Saturday, because he really wanted to be with his friends to meet Craig’s new boyfriend.

Raj was born in Australia of Indian parents from the north. They had migrated under a skilled migrants program in the 1990’s and Raj was born shortly afterwards. His father was an engineer, so got a visa and permanent residency on that basis. His mother was an office assistant with Indian Rail and both spoke English. Raj’s father had a job immediately because he needed a sponsor under the migration program. His mum found work after a few months with NSW transport as a clerk with State Rail. They originally lived in a small rented flat in Surrey Hills but longed for the day when they could have their own free standing home, on the famed quarter acre block. This seemed to them the normal thing in Australia, as they heard friends and colleagues refer to it as ‘The Australian Dream’. When Raj was about two years old he was becoming a handful to manage in a small one bedroom flat so they looked around for a house to buy. They had lived frugally in their first years. With them both working full-time, except for the time his mum took off for her pregnancy and Raj’s birth, they had saved a deposit to buy a house. But their deposit would not get them a house close to the city so they looked towards the west of Sydney where house prices were lower and blocks bigger. A colleague of Raj’s father suggested the Parramatta area, not only because of the prices but also because the neighbouring suburb of Harris Park had a growing Indian community.

They found a pleasant three bedroom house there with Indian neighbours, The Kumars on one side and an elderly Australian couple, The Fletchers, on the other. They quickly became friends with both neighbours and the three families would often share meals together on the weekends. The Kumars were from the south and cooked different food to Raj’s mum. The Fletchers learned to love Indian food, as long as it was not too hot and were delighted to dine with the families. Edith Fletcher also loved sharing her recipes with Raj’s mum, who was keen to learn Aussie style cooking.

Although Raj’s family maintained their religious beliefs in private they were keen to fit in and embrace their new country’s culture. The Fletchers helped them with this as they were old school, dinky di, no nonsense, tell it like it is, fair go, Australians. Raj, having been born in Australia had no choice but to be an all-Aussie boy. Except for the colour of his skin he was just the same as the rest of the kids in his class. But very young children don’t notice these things until they are pointed out by others. This meant Raj had an Aussie accent, which amused his parents sometimes but disappointed his grandparents when he visited family in India. It seemed that neither Raj nor his class mates actually noticed the colour of his skin until one year when his class was preparing for a Christmas nativity play. Raj desperately wanted to play Joseph, as the teacher had promised there would be a real donkey for the actual performance. Raj so wanted to lead that donkey onto the stage in front of his parents. But the teacher said he was perfect to play one of the three wise men because he would not need make-up.

As Raj reached puberty and is sexuality began to assert itself, he felt at first that this would be a difficult time for him. Although homosexual acts between consenting adults had been legalised even before he was born, like most same-sex attracted youth he was not sure how his parents would react. It had not been discussed within his family, but he knew it was not acceptable in Indian society. Then one night when his parents had friends over for dinner, the forthcoming cricket test between Australia and India was discussed. When asked who he would be supporting Raj’s dad replied “Oh my goodness, why do you ask me such a question. While my heart may be with the Indian team, I’m an Aussie and accordingly I will be supporting the Australian team.” Although there was no direct connection, it gave Raj some confidence that his father might not take the traditional Indian approach to his sexuality. He was not about to test his theory but it was food for thought and made him feel a bit more comfortable with his sexuality.

When Raj left school it was natural for him to go into the family restaurant business. His parents had owned the restaurant for 5 years when Raj left school. He had always worked there in some capacity ever since they bought it. Now his father wanted him to work there full time and start taking some management responsibility, to prepare for his eventual retirement. But, while Raj was prepared to help his parents for now, he did not see it as his life’s work. He felt that living and working with his parents would not give him any privacy or freedom to explore his sexuality.

He did find a few gay support groups for Asians. One was specifically for Indians and another more generally for all Asians. After visiting both groups he decided to favour Asians and Friends as he did not want to mix only with Indians and also he saw a risk that he could be outed if gossip about the group spread through the Indian community. At Asian and Friends he found the membership was a mix of south-east Asians and westerners. This made him feel more comfortable than a one race group. He was able to attend their meetings and functions regularly without his parents being aware that it was a gay group. He just told them it was a group where east and west could meet and share their cultures. He further explained that as he had a foot in each culture he felt comfortable there. He met a few men there with whom he had casual relationships, but he was not really looking long term. He just wanted to get some experience by exploring his sexuality and generally make friends with other gay men. While exploring, Raj was introduced to the bath house culture by one of his friends. One night there he met and had sex with a Filipino man a bit older than himself. At the end of the night they exchanged phone numbers, and promised to keep in touch, but it was not until a later accidental meeting that Romel introduced him to some of his friends. Raj was now in a circle that included all tonight’s guests at Craig’s dinner party.

One of those guests was Tristan, a principal dancer with The Sydney Dance Company. Tristan did not have a car so Raj had volunteered to pick him up on his way to Craig’s. Raj often did this when they were both attending the same events, because Raj still held out hope that he could bed Tristan. He had tried a few times but without success. Even though he knew Tristan did not have a boyfriend he had been unable to attract Tristan’s attention sexually. He knew Tristan liked him as a friend and did not seem to have any problem with race so maybe it was just the chemistry was not right, thought Raj. As tonight was all about meeting Craig’s new boyfriend Raj decided to make an extra effort to get Tristan’s attention while ‘love was is in the air’.

Raj’s plan was one of the oldest known, but he hoped it just might work. He would try to get Tristan a little drunk, while not getting drunk himself. Raj did not drink much anyway and he had to remain sober enough to drive home safely and avoid the breathalysers. He thought that if the alcohol helped Tristan drop his inhibitions, then when he drove him home he might be able to wangle an invitation into Tristan’s home for another drink. If he drank enough then, he would not be able to drive and hoped Tristan would invite him to stay overnight.

Raj picked up Tristan at his city apartment and they headed off to Kingsford. They each had a bottle of wine to contribute to the dinner and both were looking forward to meeting the new boyfriend as well as seeing their other friends. They talked about Romel’s plan to vet the new boyfriend, though Raj was not too keen on it and thought they should not get involved. But they shared the same love of their friend Craig and wanted him to be happy. However, only one of them had a plan for later in the night.