Catering with Benefits (1) - 12. Community Radio

Edward had long wanted to participate in a radio program on 2GAY fm, a local community station that caters to the tastes of Sydney’s gay community. But he did not want to be a DJ or even a chat show host, and that was about all the station was airing at the time. He had been a financial member for many years but had not formally approached the station management for a role in on-air broadcasting. He received all the newsletters and had occasionally done volunteer work to promote the station or raise funds for the operating costs and sometimes lent his technical expertise.

His opportunity came when he saw a request in the newsletter for people to be advisers about the early days of the drag scene in Sydney. It was a one-off program being prepared to air during the following year’s Mardi Gras. Edward volunteered to tell of his experiences in Sydney and while touring throughout the state. Five other older Drag Queens were short-listed to attend a session where they could share their stories with the program producer, Charles, and then he could determine what format the program would take. During the discussion Charles noticed that Edward was taking the initiative and was in fact interviewing the other participants and getting them to tell their stories with ease. This gave Charles an idea, but he did not mention it during the discussion. Instead, he let Edward keep going and in no time he had all the other Drag Queens contributing valuable information to the conversation.

A few days later, after discussion with the station management committee, Charles called Edward and asked him to come in for a chat. Edward was thrilled that he might get to contribute to the Mardi Gras program and assumed that Charles wanted to interview him for the program. When he arrived at the station, Charles suggested they go down to the local coffee shop and have a chat there.

***

“What’s your coffee Edward?”

“Flat white, thanks sweetie.”

Charles ordered the coffees and they sat at a table in the back of the cafe.

“So, Charles what do you want me to tell you about the early Drag scene in Sydney?”

“Well, nothing actually.”

“What do you mean?”

“I want you to be my interviewer for the program.”

“Oh, that’s kind of you to ask sweetie, but I’ve no experience at interviewing. I wouldn’t know what to ask.”

“Edward, you grossly underestimate your abilities. While it may be true you don’t have experience at interviewing for radio, you have a natural ability to get people talking and that’s what it’s all about.”

“Little me, can get people talking?” Edward said questioningly.

“Yes, I wish I had recorded our initial session last week. Without even thinking about it you just took off and had those old girls gushing forth with their stories.”

“Well who can get an old drag queen to shut up anyway, but I’m not sure Charles, about the interviewing thing.”

“I am, and what’s more I think you’ll be great, because it just comes naturally to you.”

“Do you really think I could do it?”

“Yes.”

“I suppose all those years of gossiping meant I was good at getting information from others to gossip about.”

“That’s exactly what I mean. It just comes naturally to you. After all an interviewer or reporter or journalist is really just a gatherer and disperser of gossip.”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way. You make this old girl feel really good about herself.”

“Thank you Edward.”

“Now how do we go about making this program?”

“Firstly we will have to familiarise you some technical aspects, such as handling microphones and recording equipment. Then we might let you loose in a room full drag queens and see what you can get them to reveal. I will be the producer of the program, but we will work closely when editing what you get on tape.”

“I’m really looking to working with you, sweetie, you are so kind to me.”

“It’s my pleasure Edward. Let’s get back to the studio and look at some dates for interviews.”

As they were chatting, back in the studio and pencilling in some possible interview dates the current live classical music program was playing in the background. Edward was a regular listener of the program called Max’s Music Room and he remarked to Charles how knowledgeable the presenter was about the music he played.

“I think he’s pretty good.” said Charles “But then I’m biased, Max is my partner.”

“Oh, that’s great; you both volunteer for the station. I often listen to Max’s program, but didn’t know you two were an item.”

“Yep, we’ve been an item, as you put it, for nearly 48 years now.”

“Oh my sweet fanny, that’s amazing.”

“We think we’ve done pretty well, there are not a lot of marriages last that long these days.”

“You’re right, you know I’ve listened to Max’s program for years but I’ve never met him.”

“Well we can easily fix that. I think we’re finished here, so let’s sneak into the studio when the next recording’s playing and you can not only meet Max but we can sit in on the rest of his program.”

“Are you sure I wouldn’t be intruding?”

“Not at all, Max will love it.”

When the ‘ON AIR’ light went off, indicating Max’s microphone was not live, Charles ushered Edward into the studio.”

“What are you doing here my love?” asked Max.

“I want to introduce you to a fan of yours. Max meet Edward. Edward, Max.”

“Pleased to meet you.” Edward whispered.

“There’s no need to whisper.” replied Max, “The microphone is off at present.”

Charles then told Max about his plans for Edward to participate in the history of drag program. Then Max held up his hand indicating silence please, as he flicked the live microphone switch and the ‘ON AIR’ sign lit up.

“Wasn’t that just so uplifting listeners? You have been listening to The Lark Ascending. This, single-movement work is by the composer Ralph Vaughan Williams. He was inspired to write this by the 1881 poem of the same name by the English writer George Meredith, which tells the tale of a skylark singing an impossibly beautiful, almost heavenly, song. Williams originally scored it for violin and piano in 1914 but curiously, it was not publicly performed until 1920 when it premiered in Bristol UK. For that premiere, Williams rescored it for solo violin and orchestra.”

Max then played a short station identification. ‘You are in Max’s Music Room, on 2GAY fm, Sydney’s own gay community station, funded entirely by your subscriptions and donations.’

“Welcome back music fans. I’ve just had two surprise guests join me in the studio, so after we hear this next piece, I will have a chat with them about an exciting new program they are preparing for next year’s Mardi Gras. But before that buckle up, because we’re blasting off with Gustav Holst’s Jupiter, written around the same time as Vaughn Williams was working on The Lark.” Max flicked the appropriate switch and turned his attention back to Charles and Edward. “Now guys what can you tell me about this drag program of yours?”

“Oh, I don’t know if I can do a live interview Max, I’m not prepared for that.” replied Edward.

“Of course you can. We’ll chat about what we’ve just discussed.” said Charles.

Max then said to Edward “I’ll ask the questions, you just be natural and if you can’t answer a question Charles will step in. Remember it’s just a chat, not a formal interview.”

“You’ll be fine Edward.” assured Charles. “Here, have a drink of water for now and follow my lead when we go live.”

“Ok, thanks guys, but I’m still nervous.”

After a little more encouragement for Edward, Max said “Quiet guys, the recording’s just finishing.”

They chatted for about five minutes about the format of the drag program then at the end Max said to Edward, “A little bird told me that you used to drag yourself.”

“Yes, but that was a long time ago Max.”

“What I want to know is where did you get material for your routine?”

“You might be surprised to know that fans often gave me jokes to tell.”

“So were they suitable material for your act.”

“Not always, I remember this time a drunk came up to me and started with, A drag queen walks into a bar...Stop right there I said to him...Drag Queens don’t walk into bars, well not until they’re completely shit faced.”

“You’ve still got it Edward, any other jokes you were given?”

“A punter stopped me on the way in to share a joke that started like this. A drag queen walks alone into a bar.....Stop right there I said to him...what respectable Drag Queen walks into a bar unaccompanied.”

“Do they all start the same?”

“It seems they do. I’ve got just one more for you. A drag queen walks into a bar.....Stop right there...Drag Queens don’t walk into bars... they parade.”

“Well listeners, that’s given me something to think about next time someone tries to tell me a bar joke. Thank you both Edward and Charles for sharing with us this morning and all the best of luck with your drag program.”

“Thank you Max.” they both replied.

“Now just in case you thought drag queens were not into classical music here is something that might surprise you. Remember the scene in Priscilla Queen of the Desert when Felicia is in the giant shoe atop the bus? The featured music was Verdi’s Sempre Libera from La Traviata. So, as a special treat here is Australia’s queen of opera, Dame Joan Sutherland, singing her version of Sempre Libera.”

***

As Charles expected, Edward was a natural and got all they needed with only one interview with each of the subjects. It went so well that they had the program edited and in the can before Christmas, and therefore well ahead of schedule for Mardi Gras in February.