Catering with Benefits (1) - 34. Southpine

Thomas was up early on Tuesday morning, so excited about the next three days. He quickly packed his bag and collected linen, a few cheeses from the kitchen and a few bottles of wine from the Price cellars. He checked his messages to ensure there were no late requests from Mrs Price and then sent her a message reminding her he was leaving and adding his thanks for her generosity. He left early but still got caught in the usual M4 traffic jam. However, he was determined nothing was going to spoil his day now he was on his way to his lover. That word settled in the back of his brain and kept glowing brighter and brighter as he crawled his way down the freeway. He had the music up loud and apart from the traffic, had not a care in the world.

They set off from Jared’s later than expected, but what really mattered to them was that they were together and headed down the Hume Freeway for three days alone. When they arrived Thomas stopped the car at a set of iron gates and looked at the sign ‘SOUTHPINE’ in large iron letters above the gate. He gave Jared a set of keys and indicated which key would open the gate. He drove through, and waited for Jared to close and lock the gates, as they did not want to be disturbed by any locals. The drive to the house was through the pine forest and the warm humid day meant the smell of pine hung heavily in the air. “This is amazing,” said Jared, “the trees are so thick you can’t see through the forest at all, and we can’t even see the house yet.” They drove on as the road wound its way through the forest till they eventually came to a clearing. There they saw a small cottage, a few sheds and other outbuildings including a long disused chicken coup. This was all surrounded by an overgrown garden that had apparently not been tendered to in many years.

As they stepped out of the car Thomas said, “Welcome to Southpine, your love nest for the next three days.”

The cottage was an old colonial style Australian farmhouse, originally with wide verandas on all four sides, but two of them had been enclosed, to add more rooms to the house. Jared unpacked the car while Thomas went to open up the cottage, then called out to Jared, “Just leave everything on the veranda till I turn the power on and do a bit of cleaning”.

“How bad is it?”

“Not too bad really, just some dust and spider webs. It won’t take long once I find some brooms and such. I hope they have some.”

As Jared carried all their gear from the car he could hear Thomas crashing about inside, presumably, looking in cupboards for cleaning gear.

“What about the power?” called Jared.

“Have a look around, there should be a box somewhere on the outside walls.”

A few minutes later Jared yelled “FUCK.”

“WHAT’S WRONG?” called Thomas, and went outside to investigate.

“I found the power box, but someone’s in residence.”

As he found Jared backing away from the power box he saw a black snake coiled up inside the power box.

“Oh I see the problem, but if we just leave it alone, it’ll probably move away. Give it some space and I think it’ll move on now that it’s been disturbed.”

“I don’t like snakes, Thomas.”

“A tough guy like you?”

“Yeah I know, it’s just a thing I have, can’t help it.”

“How about we go for a walk in the forest and when we come back we can turn on the power and start the cleaning. I found the cleaning gear.”

“What, out there in the forest with more snakes?”

“They won’t bother you out there; they can sense us approaching and move out of the way. They are as scared of us as you are of them.”

“I hope the bastards are.”

“Come on, hold my hand and I will protect you.”

“I like the idea of holding your hand, but are you sure you can protect me?”

“Well I thought it sounded like the right thing to say.”

“OK my protector, lead the way.”

The boys walked through the forest which was thick and dark. The ground so thickly covered in pine needles that not a single blade of grass had been able to force its way through the plush brown carpet. They walked hand in hand until they could see a clearing ahead. As they got closer they realised it was a lake, but completely surrounded by forest. On the opposite side of the lake they saw a gazebo for picnics, a short jetty plus a pontoon in the middle. Lying upside down on the jetty was a small row boat.

“Now wasn’t that worth the walk to find this?” said Thomas

“It is pretty cool, isn’t it?”

“No wonder the house staff like coming here it’s just so beautiful.”

“But they don’t have you for protection; I’m so lucky and so happy.”

“That’s sweet of you to say. So, have you forgotten about the snake?”

“Well, I had until you reminded me. We still have to face that when we get back.”

“Don’t worry; I’m sure it will have moved on by now.”

“I fuckin’ hope so, I just can’t stand those slithery bastards.”

“It was probably as shocked as you when you opened that cupboard with the power board.”

“Hey, did you shut the front door before we left?”

“No, remember I rushed out to see what was bothering you, but no problem, there isn’t anybody else around.”

“Except that big black fucker, who is probably looking for a place to nap in the house.”

“Hey, settle, let’s go around the lake and sit in the gazebo for a while. We can talk about something else besides snakes.”

As they walked, Thomas was thinking what he could talk about to get Jared’s mind off snakes. When they arrived Jared noticed a hammock hanging in the gazebo and exclaimed “Fabulous man, I’ve always wanted to try a hammock.”

“Be my guest, but better give it a good shake first, it’s probably very dusty”. Thomas stepped back to avoid the cloud of dust that Jared was creating with his over enthusiastic flapping of the hammock.

“There, that should be great, when the dust clears.”

The other seats in the gazebo were bush furniture, made from natural pieces of wood that had not been milled. Thomas sat in one and exclaimed, “This stuff might look great but it’s blood uncomfortable.”

“In that case I’ll try my luck getting into the hammock.”

***

As the boys rested Thomas tried to take Jared’s mind away from snakes by starting the conversation.

“I know you said you can’t talk much about your work when in the Middle East, for security reasons, but what about the relationships between you and your colleagues?”

“What do you want to know?”

“I’ve heard that you guys really bond very tightly and support each other no matter what.”

“That’s true we have to watch out for each other, it’s a dangerous world out there.”

“But does it become more than just protecting each other from danger.”

“We offer each other emotional support and talk things out.”

“Is that really true? I’ve heard so many stories in the media of guys coming back with problems because they won’t talk about them.”

“Yes, that happens, but I suppose it depends on the group dynamics. Regular army soldiers can be a bit tight lipped about their emotional issues and won’t share because they think they will be considered weak. Also they are in bigger platoons, so it’s difficult to bond as closely as we did in the SAS.”

“But you are supposed to be the tough guys.”

“Yeah, strange isn’t it. While our work is tough, it is the isolation and smaller group dynamics that works for us. Modern training in the SAS stresses the need to share and support each other. I found that once one of us opened up the others found it easier to do the same.”

“So when you are such a small and isolated group how far does that emotional support go?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Do you guys sometimes fuck each other? I know it happens in prisons because men are forced to be in close proximity with each other and have no other outlet for their needs.”

“I’ve heard of it happening, but I’ve no personal experience of it. If there are two guys in the same outfit of the same persuasion then they might seek out each other’s company, but strictly in private. I’ve often heard guys wanking at night. They don’t do it openly in front of the other guys but they don’t hide the fact of what they are doing under the blankets. We all do it and accept that’s how it is.”

“Did you?”

“Of course I did, but never had a relationship with another guy. Also when we had R & R in friendly towns, it was always made clear where the brothels were.”

“But aren’t they Muslim countries out there”

“You don’t think that’s going to stop some enterprising young ladies and pimps, from going into business, do you?”

“Mmm interesting world we live in.”

The conversation paused for a few minutes then Thomas said, “I’ve been meaning to ask why you have tampons in your bedside cabinet?”

“A gentleman always provides for a lady’s needs.”

“You mean you have sex with women when they have their monthly thing?”

“Go on say the word.”

“OK, periods.”

“Yes, why not, for some women it’s the time when they want it most.”

“Really!”

“Not only are they at the peak of their randiness, but most men won’t do it then, so when you do they are so grateful.”

“But isn’t it messy, and how do you get your dick in when there’s a tampon in there?”

“Well, that’s the best part.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Be quiet and listen, now that you’ve asked. I go down on her and with my tongue I find the little string on the tampon.”

“There’s a string on a tampon?”

“Of course, where were you raised, in a monastery?”

“In a normal home, but I suppose my mum didn’t think it was necessary to acquaint me with such information. Go on.”

“When I locate the string with my tongue I grip the string with my teeth and pull the tampon part way out. I pull it just far enough to grip it with my teeth, then pull it right out and into my mouth. Then I suck all the juices out of it.”

“Oh enough, I don’t want to hear this.”

“Shoosh! Then I discard the tampon and go into her with my tongue and suck up the rest of her juices. By this time she is moaning and begging for more.”

“There’s more?”

“Then I find her sweet spot and bring her slowly towards climax with my tongue, but stop just before she reaches climax. If I sense she can hold it, I keep her just on the brink for a while and then with just a flick of my tongue, push her over the edge. Her vagina and whole body pulsate and this gives me more juices to suck up as well as a great feeling of satisfaction for having pleased her.”

“But don’t some women just fake it.”

“They never fake it with oral stimulation. There’s no point. Women only fake it with penile penetration because some men can’t get their woman there with their dick so they fake it when he comes, to please the man.”

“So when do you get your jollies?”

“Well, I’ve already enjoyed the satisfaction of pleasing her, and now we both have a second chance. So, I move up insert my rod slowly and get the lie of the land, so to speak.”

“What does that mean?”

“I try to get a sense of whether or not she can come again and if so try to time myself to coincide. If I think she probably can’t climax again I just climax in my own time and usually then sense that she is pleased to have pleasured me. Done sensitively it can be all very mutual. Judging by what I hear from women, many men don’t understand that. Wham bam thank you m’am, is not my style. I would not feel the proper level of satisfaction.”

“Well, you have broadened my education somewhat, but I’m sure I couldn’t do it, especially during the messy period.”

“I know, it’s not for all men but I like it and I know women like it. So have you ever done it with woman?”

“I don’t usually admit this.”

“Ah! So you have?”

“Now it’s your turn to be quiet and listen.”

“Sorry, it’s just that I’m so excited to hear it.”

“Well it’s not that interesting, in fact it was an epic fail.”

“I still want to hear about it.”

“OK then, there is something I haven’t told you about my job. As well as being Mrs P’s secretary I also have other duties.”

“I knew it. I did ask you how personal it got.”

“Settle! The Prices are not what they seem. Now you have to swear on your life that this goes no further. The Prices are very good to me and I would not want them to know I betrayed their trust... Swear?”

“OK, on my life and my mother’s. Is that good enough?”

“Alright, so long as you mean it. The Prices are a couple in name only, they don’t have a regular married relationship. In fact they have no relationship at all. Mr P is gay and Mrs P is a randy rich woman with too much money and too much free time. They have no children, Mr P spends all his time either making money or entertaining his boys, while Mrs P does her best to spend his money and bed as many studs as possible.”

“So where do you come into this?”

“As Mrs P’s PA, I also procure her men for her. Oh she finds her own sometimes, but mostly I find them for her and set them up in the house. Once when I could not find anyone acceptable I thought I might take on two jobs, double my income and volunteered to bed her. Well let’s just say, it’s just as well I’m such a good PA, otherwise I would be dirt poor if I relied on my studability.”

“So how did she take your epic fail?”

“She was OK. I don’t think she really took me seriously in the first place. She really likes me and looks after me in many ways, so she just went along with it and when it didn’t work out we went back to our usual relationship and no more was said of it.”

“So that’s you taken care of; how do you find these studs for her and how does she pay them?”

“Unlike Mr P, who just has his boys for the night, she likes longer term relationships.”

“What’s long term?”

“Up to twelve months they have lasted, but it is usually the men that end the relationship because they want somebody younger or want to settle down and have a family. Also, it’s a fairly closeted relationship, for obvious reasons, so many men find that a bit stifling.”

“You mean they only have this relationship in the house, so the rest of the world doesn’t see?”

“Not entirely, while to the rest of her society she is married to Mr P, among high society these things are tolerated to a point. While they are not openly spoken of, this type of relationship is not unusual. You could say they are the worst kept secrets around town. For example, apparently it is acceptable for her man to accompany her to a public social event with the pretext being, her husband is away or detained by business.”

“What a fascinating world I don’t live in. Tell me, what qualifications would one need to satisfy the criteria to get past your vetting and please the lady?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Just curious.”

“Well, she can be demanding at times and other times she is quite easy and may not even want to see her man for a week, if she is otherwise occupied.”

“So how is one remunerated for this work?”

“Firstly he is given a room of his own at the house, then put on the head office payroll as a clerk or some such thing, but that’s just a tax manipulation. He then has to have a job at the house. Usually I can find something to keep him busy when he is not needed by Mrs P. Jobs such as gardener, driver etc. That way his presence in the house is justified to the outside world. Living in the house means all meals and alcohol are provided. Together with a wage from head office, means one can amass a good nest egg for the future. Also, she is very generous with her husband’s money and likes to give expensive gifts if she receives good service. Last year a guy drove away in a BMW after only twelve months service. It was a used vehicle from the company fleet, but still worth having. However, he was just an absolute stud in bed, with a dick down to his knees and movie star looks. He was extremely flexible too, so I can only image some of the positions he could get into. One night at a party I saw him do the full side splits. He could even flex his butt checks individually and could make them dance up and down. Some nights and even days I could hear her moaning down the hallway. He also was well built, with eye popping muscles, so I used to get him to help the gardener in the hot weather so he would remove his shirt. My office has a great view of the garden.”

“So who is the current stud of choice?”

“Marcel, he’s been with us for about three months now and still doing well. He is 25, lightly built and a French traveller on a working visa. Mrs P just loves his accent and he speaks French to her. She doesn’t understand a word of it but thinks it’s so romantic. I found out that sometimes he is just being cheeky. Although she does not understand him, I did warn him to be careful, in case she repeats anything he says, to someone else.”

“What sort of things does he say to her?”

“Well he once said ‘mon petit oignon’ so she asked one of the staff to look it up in an English/French dictionary and found it means ‘my little onion’. She was not flattered, so when she confronted him he explained it away by saying, just as an onion has many layers so she becomes more attractive to him every day as he sees another layer of her personality.”

“Smart cookie.”

“He makes her happy and that’s what’s important. If she’s happy then I’m happy that I’ve done my job properly.”

“By the way when did escort or stud, or whatever you call it, become a suitable occupation for a work visa?”

“It’s not as far as I know, we actually have him on the books at head office as a jewellery designer. Apparently there is a shortage in Australia.”

“What if immigration find out?”

“It’s highly unlikely, the Prices have enough accountants and lawyers to ensure that doesn’t happen. This is the first time I’ve engaged an ‘exotic’ for Mrs P, but it’s worked out well, so far.”

“When this guy finishes, I would love to...”

Thomas interrupted “Stop right there, the answer is no.”

“Just let me finish, I was going to ask you to let me in on the process you go through to find a replacement.”

“Oh, I see, sure. In fact his visa finishes in four months. We can apply for an extension but we would have to produce evidence that he was really needed in the design studio and our lawyer has advised against that.”

“Like I said, interesting world I don’t live in.”

“It works for me. Now we had better get back to the house and get the fridge running for our food. Don’t want warm beer.”

“OK, do you know the way? Maybe we should have left a trail of breadcrumbs to follow?”

“What a good idea, not! That way we would have just fed the birds and the rabbits.”

“So that’s why they invented GPS.”