first line Prompt #233 - First Line

[comicfan]

“Somehow, I just never expected this.”

 

 

[Wicked Witch]

Well, this is only short without much substance but it is just a little line the prompt made me venture off into and I decided to get it down.

 

------------------------

 

"Somehow, I never expected this…"

 

"What did you expect Earth to look like? Rainbow with pixie dust oceans?" I muttered, staring at the Veh'ori ambassador like he had grown a fourth head … well stalk … on top of the already numerous, bulbous protrusions that acted as the Veh'ori species eyes and scenting organs.

 

"Pardon?" The bone white alien turned one of its eye stalks away from the viewing window to peer at me. 

 

It was unnerving to see; the unblinking stare of his baseball sized eyeball, sticking up out of his crab like body. "Sorry, it's a saying from the 23rd century. Tourist guides apparently liked to use it with the Azpahti visitors when we first opened relations with aliens."

 

The Veh'ori made a chirping sound I assumed was laughter before speaking again. "Ah … I see why your species are so popular as cruiseline entertainers; No one else is quite mad enough to think up the things humans do."

 

"Umm, thank you I think. Personally I think we're the only sane ones." I mentally shook my head; why did aliens insist on saying humans are mad? Clearly, we are the only ones with a working brain, what with the way the Rinash and the Yurivites had been decking it out for the last century while the Veh'ori and Azpahti had sat by and watched entire star systems blown up without blinking an eye. 

 

With a sigh I tried to divert the conversation back to more normal things before I offended him. "Perhaps we should strap in before docking; safety precautions and all."

 

The Veh'ori nodded in assent and clambered on his six legs over to one of the luxurious armchairs that filled the viewing gallery. 

 

I followed suit and strapped myself into the synthetic leather chair. However, as I finished strapping in and looked up from my belt to consider ordering a beverage, the Veh'ori saw fit to interrupt. 

 

"How exactly do you put these things on?"

 

I turned to look at my alien companion and immediately I was forced to clamp hand over my mouth to restrain myself from bursting out into laughter. Still, my body shook with suppressed giggles, which prompted the ambassador to ask me if I was quite alright and should he find me a medical android.  

 

I doubt he could have gone and found the doctor if he wanted, for he had thoroughly tied himself up. The spindly guy had managed to pull the seat belt all the out of the seat and then proceeded to wrap it around two of his eye stalks before plugging it into the buckle.

 

How could these people call US the mad ones?!

[JamesSavik]

UN Deep Space Exploration Vessel Horizon

Alpha Centauri Star System

20 June 2045

 

“Somehow, I just never expected this.”

 

"Oh suck it up McKinnon. We've been asleep for 30 something years. It's just going to suck for a while."

 

McKinnon raised her head from the sleeper chamber and said, "Garrison. You're still alive and still an asshole."

 

There were several guffaws and chuckles from around the sleeper compartment.

 

Morrison, the missions science officer, said, "They said waking up would be like the worst hangover ever."

 

Somebody else groaned and said, "I'll never drink again."

 

McKinnon sat up. Her body objected and her head ached but she managed to put her feet over the side of the crypt-like container. Across the aisle was a locker. She opened it and took the robe out. Very hesitantly, she stood and put it on.

 

She said, "OK Garrison. I've got my feet on the deck. Be a good engineer and see to my ship."

 

"Aye-Aye sir."

 

McKinnon wobbled on to her stateroom. She took a shower and it had the desired effect of helping her gather her wits. She dried off and dressed in her utility grays and found that her appetite had also awakened.

 

She wasn't the first person to arrive in the galley. Morrison and Raines were already there. Morrison already had a computer pad out and was going over the data that the ships sensors had gathered as the Horizon had entered the system.

 

As she placed a ration pack into the micro-wave, she said, "What have you got Morrison?"

 

He looked up from his computer pad and said, "It's awesome Captain. The two primary stars are in a tight binary and Alpha Centauri three rotates way, way out- almost a half light-year. We've got eighteen planets and fourty-four moons so far. Five or six of them are in the green-zone. All of those have atmospheres and three have hydrospheres."

 

McKinnon raised an eyebrow as Morrison put the star systems data up on a screen on the galley wall. She looked at the planets in the so called green-zone. Two of the planets were blue and green.

 

Stunned, she asked, "Life?"

 

Morrison said, "At least plant life on two of them. Maybe four. We're still too far out to get a good look."

 

Raines said, "The star system is huge. Because the two primaries are a binary, the planets orbits are much, much longer than our own solar system. These two planets have an orbital period of thirty-two and fourty-six years. We're looking at eco-systems that have seasons that last decades."

 

McKinnon sat down with her ration pack and said, "Nine people with two years to explore a system this big?"

 

Farrow entered the galley and said, "We'll have a lot of help from our drones Captain. It looks like we're going to need it."

[pmdacey]

Here is my contribution.  Maybe the first line is not the best, but I like the results.

 

 

“Somehow, I just never expected this,” Tom muttered, but when he thought about it he knew this was exactly the sort of thing he should have expected.

 

“What do you mean?” said the tall man with the beard and red shirt with the word counselor on it.

 

“Nobody told me there was going to be, like water and boats.”

 

“Well it isn’t called Camp Lake Anawanda for nothing,” he said.

 

“Yeah, what do think we were going to do?  Sit around and weave fuckin’ baskets?” a red headed boy spoke up.

 

“Watch the mouth Charlie,” the counselor snapped.

 

“I am not getting in any boat,” Tom announced.

 

“I can’t leave you here alone on the shore. “

 

“Yes, you can.”

 

“The rules won’t allow it.  We are all going to be in the canoes.  It is perfectly safe.”

 

“No, it isn’t.”

 

“Nothing can happen.  There is an adult in each canoe and everyone will be wearing life vests,” the counselor explained as calmly as possible.

 

“Do we have too?” Charlie whined.

 

“The rules require it.”

 

“We never did before.  Just because some baby is scared of the water,” Charlie grumbled.

 

“That is enough!” the adult scolded the red headed boy.

 

Tom didn’t say anything.  He knew he was not a baby at fourteen and he had very good reason to be afraid of the water.  Water was unpredictable and you could never be sure what lurked beneath the surface.  In particular he did not like the muddy appearance of this lake.

 

“Man this blows!” Charlie said as the counselor handed him a life vest.

 

“Charlie!”

 

“Here Tom, you can be in the canoe with me,” the counselor said trying to hand him a vest.  Tom kept his arms crossed in front of his chest.

 

“I don’t want to be in any canoe!  At all! Ever!”

 

The man took a hold of Tom’s arm gently and led him away from the group on the beach.

 

“Listen, you don’t want to ruin this for everyone else, do you?  If you don’t go, nobody can go.  Got it?” he explained, never letting go of Tom’s arm.

 

“I don’t care.”  Tom was defiant.

 

He hated to pull it out so early, but he didn’t feel like the kid was giving him any choice, “I’m going to have to call your parents to pick you up and everybody will have to wait to go out on the lake.”

 

Tom just looked at him.  He knew what his father’s reaction would be like, but he really didn’t want to disappoint his mother.  She had made him promise that he would really try this time.

 

“You don’t want me to do that and ruin everyone else’s time too, do you?”

 

“I guess not,” Tom shrugged his shoulders and started to worry at the nail on his thumb.

 

“Great!  Don’t worry it will be great, you’ll see!”

 

“Great,” Tom said in the most surely manner he could.

 

“Wallace, come help Tom out,” the counselor called out to another boy.

 

Wallace was about Tom’s age, but seemed to be the exact opposite of Tom.  Where Tom had black hair and hazel eyes, this boy was light blond with dark brown almost black irises.

 

“Come on, let’s get this life preserver on you,” Wallace said.

 

Life preserver, Tom thought, how perverse is that?  He was taking part in an activity that requires you where something to preserve your life. 

 

“Trust me; once we are out there you’ll love it.  It is lots of fun and we get to go to this secluded beach and there are turtles and lizards and everything.  I caught a mudpuppy once.”  Wallace talked enthusiastically as he placed the orange pillows around his neck and secured them in place.

 

“What’s a mudpuppy?” he couldn’t help his curiosity.

 

“It’s like a really big salamander with these gills that stick out from the side of its head that look like trees.”  Wallace put his own vest on as he explained.

 

“Come on everyone!  Put your vest on before we get in the canoes!”  The counselor’s instructions were met with a lot of grumbling.

The canoes were lined up on the gravel beach, one adult for each of four canoes and five boys per boat.  Three of the boats were quickly pushed in the water and boys clamored into them.

 

Tom stood at the far inland edge of the beach watching Wallace and the others push the canoe into the water.  He was rooted to the spot and it took Wallace on one arm and the counselor on the other to lead him to the water.  The other boys were already in the boat, including the loud mouth Charlie.  Wallace had to physically move Tom’s legs to step into the boat which tipped ominously as he shifted his weight.  Tom clung to counselor’s shirt almost pulling it off.  There were a lot of snickers from the other occupants.  The counselor detached himself from Tom’s grip and climbed into the back of the canoe.  Wallace took a position directly in front of Tom. 

 

“Here we go!” was announced and the canoe took off for deeper water.  Wallace had a paddle and he dipped into the water, propelling them forward at what Tom was sure was an unsafe speed.  If he wasn’t convinced he would drown, he would have jumped up and fled for the shore.  The water was murky and full of silt.  It looked unhealthy and he had no idea how deep it was.

 

“See it’s not so bad,” Wallace called back to him

 

Tom was not capable of a coherent verbal response.  His grip on the sides of the aluminum boat was so tight he thought he felt the metal bend.  He did not feel safe in boat that was so flimsy that it would yield to his weak, but panicked grasp.

 

The other boats were well ahead of them, but Tom would only spare them or the surroundings a brief glance.  Instead he focused on the center of Wallace’s back.  He was wearing a green t-shirt with the words Camp Lake Anawanda with a canoe and crossed paddles on it.  The shirt must have been from last year, because some of the lettering was flaking off and it seemed a little small on him.  If he just concentrated on the A in Anawanda he could ignore everything else; the slight rocking of the boat, the smell of the water, and the giggling of Charlie behind him.

 

“Charlie, no!” he heard the warning, but it would not have mattered.

 

The other three boys working in concert suddenly shifted their weight, first one way then the other.  It was too much for even the big counselor to counteract and Wallace was caught off guard as well.  Tom saw blue sky followed by brown muddiness and his mouth was full of fish shit soup.  He squeezed his eyes shut and flung his arms in hopes of . . . he did not know what.

 

“Tom!  Tom!” he heard his name being called and his pin wheeling arms connected with something and he grabbed on, praying that it wasn’t a monster catfish or something else that would drag him to the bottom of the lake.  Didn’t catfish have stingers?  He had heard that somewhere once.

 

“Tom!  It’s okay, relax.  Calm down.  Open your eyes.”

 

He stopped his trashing and he realized his head was not submerged.  He spit the murky water out of his mouth before carefully cracking an eye open.  He was looking at the front of Wallace with his green shirt and orange life vest.

 

“Take it easy.  Stand up.”  Wallace said.

 

What?  Stand up?  How the hell was he going to stand up in the middle of the goddamned lake?

 

He felt his knees hit something.  He moved his feet and realized there was something solid beneath him and he could put his feet down flat and actually stand up.  He opened his eyes the rest of the way to see Wallace looking at him.  Glancing around he saw everyone else standing around the upturned canoe.

 

“The lake is only about four feet deep at this time of the year, you jerk wad!”  Charlie laughed, joined by the other two boys that were not Wallace.

 

“Shut your ugly face, Charlie!”  Wallace shouted.

 

“Or what Wally Waffle?” was the snide comeback.

 

“Everyone shut up!” the counselor ordered, “Charlie and you two, right this boat.  We are walking back to camp.”

 

“Come on, I’ll help you,” Wallace said as he put an arm around Tom.  For his part Tom gripped the front of Wallace’s wet shirt so tightly that the seams started to tear.

 

“It’s not that far.  You gonna be okay?”

 

Tom barely nodded as they carefully felt their way through the muddy lake.  The counselor took up the rear to keep an eye on everything, even though that had not proved very successful in the recent past.

 

When he felt something brush against his leg, Tom let out a high pitched cry.  That just caused Charlie to laugh loudly.  Tom couldn’t help himself and started to cry.  He tried to do it silently, but it was just all too much for him to handle.  His face turned into a grimace of fear and the whimper that was building in his throat eventually came out in a banshee wail.

 

He did not even hear the calls of baby, momma’s boy and faggot.   The counselor did his duty and told the boys to shut up.  Wallace silently led the panicked boy to dry land.

 

“Wallace, take Tom to my cabin, please.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

His cries had died as Wallace took him to the cabin, though the occasional tear still leaked from the corner of his eye.  He took a few deep sniffling breaths to clear his nose.  Inside Wallace made him take a seat on a small wooden stool.

 

“You can let go of me now.”

 

Tom slowly let go of his shirt.  Wallace took off the life vest he was wearing and it was evident that Tom had caused the shirt to rip beyond repair.

 

“I’m sorry about your shirt,” he croaked.

 

“Ah, it don’t matter.  I get a new one every year,” he said.  “Here, let’s get you out of that vest.”

 

Tom let him undo the vest and take it off.

 

“Well, I better take these back to the boats, okay?”  He started to walk towards the door, but paused to look back at the scared, wet boy.  Tom sat with his hands held tightly between his knees and just nodded when he saw Wallace glance back at him.   

 

“Thanks,” the counselor said as he walked past Wallace in the doorway.  He stopped and leaned against the door jam, examining the huddled figured in the center of the cabin.  With a resigned shake of his head he knelt down in front of Tom and tried to look him in the, but Tom would only turn away from him.

 

“This isn’t going to work is it?”

 

Tom just shook his head.

 

“I’m going to call your folks and have them pick you up.”

 

With a trembling lip Tom nodded.  He knew his father was just going to love this.

[Slytherin]

Here is my contribution.  Maybe the first line is not the best, but I like the results.

 

 

“Somehow, I just never expected this,” Tom muttered, but when he thought about it he knew this was exactly the sort of thing he should have expected.

 

“What do you mean?” said the tall man with the beard and red shirt with the word counselor on it.

 

“Nobody told me there was going to be, like water and boats.”

 

“Well it isn’t called Camp Lake Anawanda for nothing,” he said.

 

“Yeah, what do think we were going to do?  Sit around and weave fuckin’ baskets?” a red headed boy spoke up.

 

“Watch the mouth Charlie,” the counselor snapped.

 

“I am not getting in any boat,” Tom announced.

 

“I can’t leave you here alone on the shore. “

 

“Yes, you can.”

 

“The rules won’t allow it.  We are all going to be in the canoes.  It is perfectly safe.”

 

“No, it isn’t.”

 

“Nothing can happen.  There is an adult in each canoe and everyone will be wearing life vests,” the counselor explained as calmly as possible.

 

“Do we have too?” Charlie whined.

 

“The rules require it.”

 

“We never did before.  Just because some baby is scared of the water,” Charlie grumbled.

 

“That is enough!” the adult scolded the red headed boy.

 

Tom didn’t say anything.  He knew he was not a baby at fourteen and he had very good reason to be afraid of the water.  Water was unpredictable and you could never be sure what lurked beneath the surface.  In particular he did not like the muddy appearance of this lake.

 

“Man this blows!” Charlie said as the counselor handed him a life vest.

 

“Charlie!”

 

“Here Tom, you can be in the canoe with me,” the counselor said trying to hand him a vest.  Tom kept his arms crossed in front of his chest.

 

“I don’t want to be in any canoe!  At all! Ever!”

 

The man took a hold of Tom’s arm gently and led him away from the group on the beach.

 

“Listen, you don’t want to ruin this for everyone else, do you?  If you don’t go, nobody can go.  Got it?” he explained, never letting go of Tom’s arm.

 

“I don’t care.”  Tom was defiant.

 

He hated to pull it out so early, but he didn’t feel like the kid was giving him any choice, “I’m going to have to call your parents to pick you up and everybody will have to wait to go out on the lake.”

 

Tom just looked at him.  He knew what his father’s reaction would be like, but he really didn’t want to disappoint his mother.  She had made him promise that he would really try this time.

 

“You don’t want me to do that and ruin everyone else’s time too, do you?”

 

“I guess not,” Tom shrugged his shoulders and started to worry at the nail on his thumb.

 

“Great!  Don’t worry it will be great, you’ll see!”

 

“Great,” Tom said in the most surely manner he could.

 

“Wallace, come help Tom out,” the counselor called out to another boy.

 

Wallace was about Tom’s age, but seemed to be the exact opposite of Tom.  Where Tom had black hair and hazel eyes, this boy was light blond with dark brown almost black irises.

 

“Come on, let’s get this life preserver on you,” Wallace said.

 

Life preserver, Tom thought, how perverse is that?  He was taking part in an activity that requires you where something to preserve your life. 

 

“Trust me; once we are out there you’ll love it.  It is lots of fun and we get to go to this secluded beach and there are turtles and lizards and everything.  I caught a mudpuppy once.”  Wallace talked enthusiastically as he placed the orange pillows around his neck and secured them in place.

 

“What’s a mudpuppy?” he couldn’t help his curiosity.

 

“It’s like a really big salamander with these gills that stick out from the side of its head that look like trees.”  Wallace put his own vest on as he explained.

 

“Come on everyone!  Put your vest on before we get in the canoes!”  The counselor’s instructions were met with a lot of grumbling.

The canoes were lined up on the gravel beach, one adult for each of four canoes and five boys per boat.  Three of the boats were quickly pushed in the water and boys clamored into them.

 

Tom stood at the far inland edge of the beach watching Wallace and the others push the canoe into the water.  He was rooted to the spot and it took Wallace on one arm and the counselor on the other to lead him to the water.  The other boys were already in the boat, including the loud mouth Charlie.  Wallace had to physically move Tom’s legs to step into the boat which tipped ominously as he shifted his weight.  Tom clung to counselor’s shirt almost pulling it off.  There were a lot of snickers from the other occupants.  The counselor detached himself from Tom’s grip and climbed into the back of the canoe.  Wallace took a position directly in front of Tom. 

 

“Here we go!” was announced and the canoe took off for deeper water.  Wallace had a paddle and he dipped into the water, propelling them forward at what Tom was sure was an unsafe speed.  If he wasn’t convinced he would drown, he would have jumped up and fled for the shore.  The water was murky and full of silt.  It looked unhealthy and he had no idea how deep it was.

 

“See it’s not so bad,” Wallace called back to him

 

Tom was not capable of a coherent verbal response.  His grip on the sides of the aluminum boat was so tight he thought he felt the metal bend.  He did not feel safe in boat that was so flimsy that it would yield to his weak, but panicked grasp.

 

The other boats were well ahead of them, but Tom would only spare them or the surroundings a brief glance.  Instead he focused on the center of Wallace’s back.  He was wearing a green t-shirt with the words Camp Lake Anawanda with a canoe and crossed paddles on it.  The shirt must have been from last year, because some of the lettering was flaking off and it seemed a little small on him.  If he just concentrated on the A in Anawanda he could ignore everything else; the slight rocking of the boat, the smell of the water, and the giggling of Charlie behind him.

 

“Charlie, no!” he heard the warning, but it would not have mattered.

 

The other three boys working in concert suddenly shifted their weight, first one way then the other.  It was too much for even the big counselor to counteract and Wallace was caught off guard as well.  Tom saw blue sky followed by brown muddiness and his mouth was full of fish shit soup.  He squeezed his eyes shut and flung his arms in hopes of . . . he did not know what.

 

“Tom!  Tom!” he heard his name being called and his pin wheeling arms connected with something and he grabbed on, praying that it wasn’t a monster catfish or something else that would drag him to the bottom of the lake.  Didn’t catfish have stingers?  He had heard that somewhere once.

 

“Tom!  It’s okay, relax.  Calm down.  Open your eyes.”

 

He stopped his trashing and he realized his head was not submerged.  He spit the murky water out of his mouth before carefully cracking an eye open.  He was looking at the front of Wallace with his green shirt and orange life vest.

 

“Take it easy.  Stand up.”  Wallace said.

 

What?  Stand up?  How the hell was he going to stand up in the middle of the goddamned lake?

 

He felt his knees hit something.  He moved his feet and realized there was something solid beneath him and he could put his feet down flat and actually stand up.  He opened his eyes the rest of the way to see Wallace looking at him.  Glancing around he saw everyone else standing around the upturned canoe.

 

“The lake is only about four feet deep at this time of the year, you jerk wad!”  Charlie laughed, joined by the other two boys that were not Wallace.

 

“Shut your ugly face, Charlie!”  Wallace shouted.

 

“Or what Wally Waffle?” was the snide comeback.

 

“Everyone shut up!” the counselor ordered, “Charlie and you two, right this boat.  We are walking back to camp.”

 

“Come on, I’ll help you,” Wallace said as he put an arm around Tom.  For his part Tom gripped the front of Wallace’s wet shirt so tightly that the seams started to tear.

 

“It’s not that far.  You gonna be okay?”

 

Tom barely nodded as they carefully felt their way through the muddy lake.  The counselor took up the rear to keep an eye on everything, even though that had not proved very successful in the recent past.

 

When he felt something brush against his leg, Tom let out a high pitched cry.  That just caused Charlie to laugh loudly.  Tom couldn’t help himself and started to cry.  He tried to do it silently, but it was just all too much for him to handle.  His face turned into a grimace of fear and the whimper that was building in his throat eventually came out in a banshee wail.

 

He did not even hear the calls of baby, momma’s boy and faggot.   The counselor did his duty and told the boys to shut up.  Wallace silently led the panicked boy to dry land.

 

“Wallace, take Tom to my cabin, please.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

His cries had died as Wallace took him to the cabin, though the occasional tear still leaked from the corner of his eye.  He took a few deep sniffling breaths to clear his nose.  Inside Wallace made him take a seat on a small wooden stool.

 

“You can let go of me now.”

 

Tom slowly let go of his shirt.  Wallace took off the life vest he was wearing and it was evident that Tom had caused the shirt to rip beyond repair.

 

“I’m sorry about your shirt,” he croaked.

 

“Ah, it don’t matter.  I get a new one every year,” he said.  “Here, let’s get you out of that vest.”

 

Tom let him undo the vest and take it off.

 

“Well, I better take these back to the boats, okay?”  He started to walk towards the door, but paused to look back at the scared, wet boy.  Tom sat with his hands held tightly between his knees and just nodded when he saw Wallace glance back at him.   

 

“Thanks,” the counselor said as he walked past Wallace in the doorway.  He stopped and leaned against the door jam, examining the huddled figured in the center of the cabin.  With a resigned shake of his head he knelt down in front of Tom and tried to look him in the, but Tom would only turn away from him.

 

“This isn’t going to work is it?”

 

Tom just shook his head.

 

“I’m going to call your folks and have them pick you up.”

 

With a trembling lip Tom nodded.  He knew his father was just going to love this.

Great story ! Good job

[Mann Ramblings]

Wicked Witch - Great little light-hearted sci-fi moment. The alien crab-guy tangled i his seatbelt was very memorable.

 

Jamessavik - More Sci-fi! Great opener! This could be taken anywhere.

 

Pmdacey - This was so well done. I think we can all empathize with the main character. I can remember being the poor little guy terrified and chastised to the point of no return.

 

This was such a good prompt!

[joann414]

"Somehow, I just never expected this."

 

Jo Ann looked at Cassie in disbelief.  "How could you not have expected this?  Did you forget who's hosting this party?  I know you didn't expect a normal ho hum barbeque in the back yard with the smell of smoke, plenty of beer, and lounging around in lawn chairs.  That's what normal folks would do."

 

"But cowboys running around in boots, six-guns strapped around their waist, sporting a cowboy hat and a smile...   Most of them look like they have a third weapon pointing from between their legs.  I certainly hope the neighbors don't call the law about the loud music"  Cassie shook her head, reaching into the tub and dragging two bottles of beer out of the ice.

 

Taking both the beer from Cassie, Jo Ann opened them and handed one back to her. "Wonder where he got the music?  Sounds like a soundtrack cd that was made in Miss. Kitty's Place on Gunsmoke.  I expect dancing girls to come strolling out anytime."  Jo Ann took a swig of her beer, only to spit it back out all over the front of Cassie's light blue tee.  "I have got to be too damn hot from the heat!  I am hallucinating!"

 

Cassie wiped at the beer on the front of her tee and turned to see what the hell caused the mess.  "You're right girl, there's nothing normal about this barbeque, nothing at all, but the food and I'm not going to bet on that."

 

"Wayne!  Have you lost your mind?"  Jo Ann made her voice heard above the music and talking, causing the man walking toward them to turn a bright red.  It wouldn't have been so noticeable if he hadn't been wearing a tight black corset that was cut low to showcase cleavage that he got from god knows where. He was red from the top of his head to the top of his corset.  Right below the waist, a sheer black skirt flaired out and underneath, you could see the layers of a stiff red petticoat.  Black stockings hugged the beefy legs and disappeared into high top shiny boots that snapped up to his calves.  Wayne limped, trying to balance himself on the three inch heels, thanking Jo Ann when she reached out to steady him and help him lower himself down onto a lounge chair.

 

"How did you let KC talk you into this Wayne?  I thought you had more sense than to get caught up in his craziness."  Cassie couldn't believe what she was seeing.  Wayne was probably the shiest of her and Jo Ann's friends.

 

Wayne shrugged and said.  "I need to get out more, and when KC asked me to the barbeque, I accepted.  Then he told me the dress code.  It was either this, or have my little man flopping around under a leather gunbelt all day, inviting sunburn.  I'd rather have sore feet and legs than a sore ummm,...  you know what I mean."  He blushed even more if that were possible.

 

Jo Ann would've felt sorry for WAyne if the situation wasn't so damn funny..  Who would in all their wildest imaginations have pictured WAyne in a barmaid's outfit, in the dead heat of summer, running around in a backyard full of horny, gun toting, hat wearing cowboys, proudly displaying their goods?  She laughed as she took a swallow of her beer, not wanting to embarass him anymore than he already was. 

 

Handing Cassie her empty bottle and taking another cold beer from Cassie's hand, Jo Ann started laughing so hard that she had to sit down beside Wayne to keep from falling. 

 

The loud words of "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy", filled the air as KC danced in his white sequined boots, and red silk corset.  His skirt was purple silk, that also stood out because of a stiff red petticoat underneath. There were puple feathers sticking out among the red ringlets that adorned his head.  He had even painted on the mole that Miss Kitty was known for in the show.  Bright red lips, heavy black eye liner and sparkling blue eye shadow had turned his face into that of the saloon owner that he was trying to imitate.  He kicked up his heels, trying to dance in time with the music, although his timing was way off.  None of the cowboys seemed to care though.  They clapped and stomped their feet as he moved in front of each of them, throwing the purple feathered boa around some's neck, and just awkwardly giving others a lap dance.  Every cowboy seemed to have acquired a third weapon by the time KC made it all the way around the array of lawn chairs that were circled like wagons.   

 

Cassie and Jo Ann had laughed so much that Wayne eventually joined in, not being able to resist the humor of the situation.  But the girls noticed that Wayne eyed all the new weapons that had appeared between each of the cowboy's legs.  Turning around when they heard the backyard gate open, both girls said in unison, "OH SHIT!"

 

Wayne tried to hide behind the two girls when he saw the three cops enter the gate.  KC, unfazed, sauntered over to them and the look on their faces was hysterical.  As if on cue, all of the cowboys got up from their chairs, cock straight out in front of them and started toward the three uniformed men.  The three law officer's eyes got as big as saucers and they almost tore down the backyard gate, running over each other trying to get out of there.  After everything settled down, Cassie turned down the music and flounced down on the grass beside Jo Ann.

 

"You know what?"  She looked at Wayne and Jo Ann as she spoke.

 

"What?", they both asked.

 

"If KC ever decides to move, I am going with him."

 

Jo Ann laughed and nudged her gently, "Not without me you're not.  Anyway,  KC could never survive without us to keep him out of trouble."

 

Wayne held up his beer bottle, and the two girls tapped theirs to it as he said,  "I'll drink to that!"

Edited June 6, 2013 by joann414

[Slytherin]

     I guess you're not bored anymor Croc !

[K.C.]

Poooor Wayne!   OMG, JoAnn you've been busy

[joann414]

It's the dang bear's fault

[comicfan]

Good god. A bear in a barmaid's outfit? Lord almighty Joann. KC doesn't have my size in his closet. LOL. And no I am not going in for crossdressing. I might actually look good in chaps but no, my weapon would be covered. I don't do a sunburn. I'm the whitest white boy you will ever meet. Don't know about shy, I have a pretty wicked sense of humor myself.

[Mann Ramblings]

Oh my, Joann. That was quite an image. LOL

[CassieQ]

Jo Ann, you owe me a new T-shirt!  

[comicfan]

Cassie, when are you going to do one?

[K.C.]

Jo Ann, you owe me a new T-shirt!  

 

I have an extra corset that you can wear!

[Puppilull]

Another old prompt dug up to let me scratch my publishing itch! More of Levi and George!

 

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/puppilull/puppilullspromptresponses/6

[skinnydragon]

Thanks Puppilull for reviving this old prompt. It inspired me!

****************************************************************************************************

 

 

“Somehow, I just never expected this.”

I knew they were crazy, these church people Tommy’s mother forces on us. I knew there was something odd about her request to help carry prayer books from the pews to the church basement. But it was Sunday, right after the service! How could I have expected to be met downstairs by four big men who grabbed me and gagged me?

They strapped me to this table and stripped me! Now, after a few hours, I’m beginning to become seriously concerned for my brother Tommy. He must have raised a stink when I disappeared! I hope they haven’t harmed him.

The door opened, spilling light into this dark storeroom. There he stood. Enos Johnson, the architect and leader of this Church of Everybody’s Going to Hell. I knew he’d been spying on me. I knew Tommy’s mother was part of the plot. I simply couldn’t believe it was totally this evil. I’m only 15! This crap isn’t supposed to happen in my little town in central New York State!

Johnson entered the room followed by Tommy’s mother, my sister Liz and OMG my social teacher, that bastard Mr. Burch. And they have a baseball bats in their hands! They’re going to kill me. I can feel it! I can feel it. Feel it, feel it ...what am I feeling?

Someone is rubbing my back.

“David, wake up!”

It’s my brother Tommy. It was all a nightmare.

“Brother, are you OK? You need to get up to go to church.”

“NO! ...er I’m feeling sick ...must be coming down with something. Tell your mother I’m gonna puke and can’t go today.”

“Oh, OK David. Hehe ...somehow I expected this.”

[Doctor Oger]

Here:

 

Cake of Kindness