Why are girls / women so difficult?

[Zombie]

Specifically why is complimenting girls / women such a minefield?

I learned this aged about 12 when my big sister came back from the hairdressers feeling pleased with herself, and I said (in all innocence ) "What happened to your hair???"

Didn't go down too well. Not well at all (I'm often reminded ...)

 

Last weekend there was a newspaper article about this (must have been a quiet news day ...) warning men this is treacherous ground.

 

For example (apparently), it's perfectly OK to say things like:

"You've lost weight!", or

"You look slim"

"I like your smile"

"You smell nice" (*rolls eyes in disbelief*)

 

But it is not a good idea to say things like:

"I like your makeup" (she will think you mean "You've got far too much makeup on!")

"You look well" (one of the worst things you can say apparently - she will think you mean "You look fat" and get in a bad mood)

"You look like your mother" (equally bad)

On a blind date: "You don't look as bad as I thought you would" (no lie - this was in the article!)

"You've eaten well" (means "You look fat" again)

"You don't sweat much for a fat girl" (OK, I made that one up )

 

As the book says, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus ...

 

Edited April 19, 2012 by Zombie

[ryan jo]

The problem is that most men(the gays included) don't have an idea of how to word things correctly. Are women complicated? Yes, but the same goes for some men. Unfortunately, I wouldn't want to date a guy that just has an on and off switch. That's not complex enough.

[sat8997]

“Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”

― George Carlin

[intune]

I always find sweeping generalizations like this annoying. Sure, some women are complicated, but so are some men. Isn't this more of an individual thing?

[Cia]

While I believe it would be easy to blast Zombie for posting something that says women are essential nutso and don't understand well meaning men who say compliments (in incredibly moronic, bumbling ways), I'm pretty sure this is meant to be a humorous joke. HOWEVER, there's some proof that a man's brain dumbs itself down at the mere mention of being around a woman, even if they don't actual interact. See, it's not us, it's all you!! We're not overly complicated, you guys just get stupid at the prospect of being around our awesome selves.

 

Actual article in Scientific American I do so love it when science backs up my insults.

[Bumblebee]

I believe the question should be "why are men so stupid?'

[Mikelaing74]

I learned from the greatest when it comes to dealing with woman. My dad intuitively picks up on what my mum is thinking and then agrees with her. He may possibly be the cleverest person I will ever meet

[Y_B]

It's a penis envy thing

[comicfan]

Hmm. I never found women to be that difficult to understand or be around. Men on the other hand .... sigh.

[Dee]

This is a good question and one I've never really understood myself being a woman. All of those things up there that you can and cannot stay never really made sense to me because I've been much more upfront about the way I conduct myself. However, I've found that this is an issue with a lot of people: women and men. While it's more prominent to upset a woman when saying certain things, I've met more than enough men who react the exact same way when you say one thing and they think another. In my experience, it seems to be just as big of an issue with certain menfolk as it is with women. I will continue to ask people to be direct with me and I hope they continue to expect I will be direct with them as well. 'Cause that's how I roll, baby.

[JamesSavik]

This is a mystery far beyond relativity or quantum physics. I don't even think the mathematics to define the problem have even been invented.

 

 

 

As the book says, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus ...

 

 

If men are from Mars, Women are from NGC 1300.

 

 

Mars is a simple little world: NGC 1300 is a huge, complex galaxy.

[rustle]

This is a mystery far beyond relativity or quantum physics. I don't even think the mathematics to define the problem have even been invented.

 

 

 

 

 

If men are from Mars, Women are from NGC 1300.

 

 

Mars is a simple little world: NGC is a complex galaxy.

 

Ooh, pretty.

[Fishwings]

I've honestly never had this problem.... Again it varies from person to person but I'm sure if you mean well things aren't going to go down that bad even amongst the most sensitive.

 

Unless the girl is on her period.

[wildone]

Sort of like at a staff birthday gathering a while back when a male co worker said to the female one that was celeberating her 35 birthday...'So, 35th Birthday, you haven't aged well, you look like crap'

 

Not recommended in front of a group of coworkers.

 

Personally I think it is more a matter of men knowing when to open their mouths and knowing when to keep them shut. Feeling the wrath of not answering 'Do these jeans make me look fat?' is much less than saying yes, or saying no when both her and you know they do.

[Krista]

I'm not difficult... you men just don't know how to answer questions that are perfectly fine...

[Audi]

They're so dramatic

 

But... I have a guy friend who is far more dramatic/difficult than women

[Dee]

I can think of a handful of [wo]men who are way more overly dramatic than the girls I know and most of them come from here!

[velefried]

Tell me I'm complicated and you don't understand me.

 

Go on.

[silver butterfly]

haha that's one of the funniest thing i've heard!! hehe but then who cares! just dramatize a bit and retort with a "i can't believe you're misunderstanding me! " works well with me!

[John Doe]

Tell me I'm complicated and you don't understand me.

 

Go on.

 

Velefried, you're complicated and I don't understand you at all!

 

Anyway, yeah I think articles like that are complete trash. It totally depends on the person you're talking to... it's like saying why are all gay guys effeminate.

[BeautybutBroken]

I'm not gonna get all offended, like i usually would. Cause if i did, i would totally be fooling myself. I know i can be complicated. I also know, for a fact, that yeah women in general can be complicated. I've never quite understood why. I wouldn't like to think of myself as complicated but it's the truth. Girls/women can get very offended when their guy does talk about their weight. It's a very touchy subject. Yes we can be dramatic. "Sighs" but your always gonna have your drama queens I guess we take things deeper than a guy would. i'm just guessin. I could very much be wrong. But that's how i see it.

[Lalanekomaster]

I actually find that the opposite gender is most liley to confuse you and therefore you find them dificult or 'complicated' because you have never been in their shoes or have to think like them. I however am confused by just about everybody cause I'm weird like that

[heartsmoney]

Personally I think males and females alike are confusing, difficult and hard to read. I think that it mostly has to do with a lack of communication. You really have to master communication and body language in order to handle both sexes. I don't think it's that women are necessarily worse than men in this aspect, just that women tend to talk about it more than men.

[Zolia Lily]

Personally I think males and females alike are confusing, difficult and hard to read. I think that it mostly has to do with a lack of communication. You really have to master communication and body language in order to handle both sexes. I don't think it's that women are necessarily worse than men in this aspect, just that women tend to talk about it more than men.

 

I kind of do agree with this; essentially, it's miscommunication. I don't think even necessarily between different sexes. Some one says something and then you over think what they means - or someone says something without thinking and it's not necessarily quite what they intended. I have been assured by a gay (male) friend that he finds men just as confusing as men apparently find women.

I think part of it too is that women and men communicate differently. Women are raised in a culture of passive-aggressivenes. You can't be mean to someone's face (when you're a child i think this often coincides with telling them what you really think), you should avoid conflict, you need to save-face, you need to be nice (even and especially when you don't want to be) etc - and this whole passive-agressive, typically female, bitching behind people's backs thing is born. Women get that. They've learnt how to communicate within that framework. I have no idea about men and passive agressiveness, btw (unless it's my dad. He does it faaaaaar too well), but I feel that they face things more head on with each other than women do. So then when it comes to communicating with women in a way so as to avoid conflict / not insult anyone / try to communicate in a way they don't usually - they suddenly get this reputation for saying incredibly insensitive things because they're not fitting into the way women communicate things like compliments or comments on appearance or age etc etc etc.

I'm just tossing out ideas here though....

In the end, it could be that the male / female divide is just played up and it's just humans in general. I have to admit, I really don't understand anyone out there except me. And even then - i struggle....

Edited July 19, 2012 by Zolia Lily

[joann414]

I think men have a group of brain cells that are for insulting and annoying women. The reason I say that, a few weeks ago, I put on a pair of stretch capris, and a oversize tee to run to the store, and my seven year old grandson promptly asks," You are not going dressed like that are you?" So, it's born in a man. They can't help it

Edited July 19, 2012 by joann414