Cards on the Table - 5. Chapter 5 Ace in the Hole

Chapter 5

Michael's heart was so not into the game. As a matter of fact, his heart seemed to be missing in action nowadays. Normally, in playing hockey, he found true joy... but not anymore. Joy had become a stranger to him. Skating without Kendall on his left wing felt just plain wrong. Everything had changed now, and he felt lost. He'd never felt so alone in his whole life, and ached with it.

For three weeks, he hadn't seen or spoken to Kendall, not since he asked him that stupid question; the one that pushed his friend further away from him. Nothing was the same since that last talk. He thought Kendall might eventually call him, well, he hoped, but it hadn't happened, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Coach tapped him on the shoulder. His line was up. His new team sucked and he was part of the problem, he knew it, but it was too hard to care. They had eked out one win in their last two games, no real thanks to Michael. He had been more or less ineffective. Lining up for a face-off in the offensive zone, he managed to pull it back to the defenseman playing the right point, and then a quick pass across ice, a wobbling wrist shot, and it was in the net. Lucky goal, but finally, he was in on a scoring play. Skating back to the bench after the low key celebration, the coach glowered at him. "About fucking time, Aceto. Not the hotshot you claimed to be, are you? Okay guys, one more goal and we can put this away. We got three minutes to do it, and remember, a tie won't get us into the tournament. It has to be a win. Have you guys got that through your thick fucking skulls? Do not let them fucking score. Aceto, get your useless ass back over the boards. Now!"

"Useless ass, my ass," Michael mumbled, pissed at the bastard. He didn't mind being double shifted, not at all, but he wasn't the only one not pulling his weight. Taking the face-off at center ice, he won it in a scramble and managed to get it over to his slow-footed left wing, and then peeled off towards the blue line calling for the puck. He couldn't believe it when the puck found his stick right at the line as he charged over with a burst of speed, blowing by the opposing defenseman like he was standing still.

Less than a second later, the puck was behind the goalie when he made the fatal mistake of trying to poke-check. Yeah, take that you fucker. Michael looked over at the coach as his teammates high-fived him. Skating towards the bench, Coach waved them back over to center ice. Michael shrugged, and lined up for another face-off. It was a repeat of the last play, except this time, Michael drilled it between the goalie's legs before he could even move. "Not bad for my useless ass, eh Coach?" he said, glaring at him as he hopped over the boards onto the bench.

"I knew you could do it. Now I know all I gotta do is piss you off to get you out of that fog you're in."

Michael glanced over to see him smirking. He just shook his head. Two goals and an assist in a couple of minutes to win the game did nothing to shake him out of the hole he was occupying. As soon as the horn blew to end the contest, he rushed to get out of there. He barely heard the coach threatening the players with dismemberment if they weren't there for next week's tournament. It was just a small men's hockey league, for fuck sake, not the NHL.

A five minute shower and he was on his way to his Chevy. He knew the right thing would have been to hang around with his teammates, joke for a bit and celebrate the win, but his heart wasn't in it. Michael wasn't good at faking it, and the rest of them knew something was fucking him up. He'd heard the comments, and they all figured it was some woman. It was one time his reputation came in handy.

Pulling out onto the almost deserted road, he felt some relief that his week was over. Saying it hadn't been a good one was an understatement, and it wasn't any better than the two before it. He got chewed out royally by his Captain for shoddy, incomplete reports, and he managed to back his patrol car into a hotshot detective's car. The guy had thrown one hell of a tantrum, and any thought of promotion was out for a while. Only rookies did those kind of things. It all came down to Kendall. Everything was off in Michael's life because of his big blond friend, not that it was his fault. No, he didn't blame him for anything, but that didn't stop him from being pissed off at life.

Instead of turning right at highway 48, he turned left and headed north. He was off this weekend and there was no way he could face another one alone in his third floor walk-up. He used to love his apartment, once his sanctuary, but now he hated it. Kendall was all over that place. In the drawers with his ball caps and spare hockey socks, in the cupboards with that shit cereal he liked, in the closet, well okay, not the closet anymore. Michael smiled, thinking Kendall would have found that funny. Fuck, he missed him. It was like an open wound there was no cure for. Friends like Kendall weren't replaceable.

Michael hadn't seen his parents in a month. It was an unusually long time for him not to visit, and he felt bad for it, but he hadn't wanted to face the questions. Like 'where's Kendall?' or 'how come Kendall isn't here?'... there would be a bunch of them, of that he had no doubt. As much as he didn't want to go through that, he really needed to see his mother and father. They were the only people in his life he was close to now that Kendall had moved on. Fuck, it hurt to think about it.

He was close to his sister, kind of, but she lived in Alberta with her husband and the three kids. Another reason to feel guilty about not visiting for a month. He drove through the main street of the picturesque town of Uxbridge and headed north a little ways to a pretty, well-kept house on its own little hill. Home. A feeling of peace came over him as he checked the time on his phone. It was a little after ten on this Friday night. One thing he was sure of; his parents would not be asleep.

He could see the front curtain in the living room move sideways and knew his mom would be waiting for him at the side door, ready to engulf him in a warm hug. There was nothing like his mom's hugs. Well, except.... A memory lurking just beneath the surface, bubbled up and swamped him. It was of his hug from Kendall the last night he saw him. He could still feel it; still smell the scent of the man, the same scent he smelled in his hair that night at college... uniquely Kendall. Was this ever going to go away? What the hell... his friend was gone now, creating a new life for himself, because Michael 'couldn't love him the way he wanted'. Something about that phrase really bothered him; it had since Kendall first said it to him.

He may not have seen him or talked to him, but he'd heard about him. Running into Sandy at the Upper Canada Mall had been very informative about Kendall's new life and his new friend. She seemed to feel it was her duty to tell him all about how great Kendall was doing, since Michael no longer came to the gym. He remembered the guy she went on about, and couldn't wait to get away from her. The last thing he wanted was to hear about Kendall's new workout partner and how well they got along. Her bubbly personality and her blatant flirting right then were too much for him to take. It wasn't her fault... she was a sweet girl, but she didn't know the circumstances. He had trouble handling the idea of Kendall having such a close friend already, and that made him feel ashamed of himself. Sighing, he reached into the back to grab his duffel bag, anxious for one of those hugs. He needed one right now because he felt like he might crumble into pieces.

His mother didn't disappoint him. She opened the door, grabbed him, and held on tight. Michael could feel his emotions getting away from him as he carefully cradled her tiny body. Practically everyone who ever saw them together would comment on how much they looked alike. The same black, wavy hair, the same blue eyes, even the same straight nose and full sensual lips. He wasn't as pale as his Irish mother but he wasn't as dark as his Italian father. Michael's dimples could have been from either one of them, because they both had them, although Michael's were longer and deeper like his dad's.

His mom finally pushed him away enough to look at his face. Like mothers everywhere, she knew instantly that something was very wrong. Her handsome boy looked terrible. His eyes had dark circles under them, and she could see the moisture in eyes that looked haunted. Even the way he held himself had a defeated look to it. "Michael, my bonnie boy, have you lost weight? What's happened to you? Where's Kendall?"

That question. He knew it was coming. Michael struggled to get a grip, but this was his mom, and he swore she could see into his soul sometimes. The dam burst and wracking sobs burst out of him. Colleen Aceto just wrapped him back up in her arms and let him get it out. His father, seeing this, melted into the background and let his wife perform her magic. She would figure out what to do for their son; of that he had no doubt. They stood in the entry for what seemed like forever as Michael slowly drew strength from this little rock of a woman. He knew there was no need to be embarrassed. That's not the way it worked in the Aceto household. He could go to either parent about anything and they would never judge or criticize. They would just support and give you their undivided love and attention. It had always been that way. He was blessed with perfect parents and he never, ever, forgot that. "We're not friends anymore."

Colleen knew her son better than anybody and she knew it was time to help Michael with what he was wrestling with. Leading him into the kitchen, where all family discussions took place, she pointed him to a seat at the table in the middle of the big country kitchen. The kettle was already boiling; she had put it on as soon as she saw Michael pull up the driveway. Turning to look at him, she could see how uncertain he was. About what to say. About what to do. About everything. "So you're not friends anymore."

He looked up, met those eyes so like his own, and shook his head.

"And why not, lad?"

Blue eyes glistened again, but no tears fell. Michael remained quiet, struggling not to say something that wasn't his place to. Colleen barely heard the sigh. "Kendall's moved on... from our friendship." Michael was relieved that he kept his voice steady enough to get those words out.

His mother, with a thoughtful look, continued to meet his eyes. "And why would he want to do that?" Her look had him pinned to the spot like a dead butterfly on a corkboard. It wasn't unkind, just direct and unflinching in its determination for the whole truth.

"Mom, please. You'll have to ask him that yourself. I can't answer that for him." One tear spilled over and slid down his cheek.

Colleen knew it wasn't the time yet, though, to close the distance between them. "I would if he was here, but he's not. It doesn't matter, because I don't believe I need to ask him anything."

Michael was thrown by that. He looked at her questioningly, wondering what she meant.

"Kendall is a son to me, bonnie boy, and I know him like I know you, and he wears his heart on his sleeve just like you do. So he did it? He finally told you how he felt? What was in that great big heart of his?"

Swallowing down something suspiciously like fear, Michael knew he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I don't know what you're talking about. We just aren't close friends anymore, and I am a little down about it, and I miss hanging out with him, that's all. Kendall... he's on a different hockey team and we go to different gyms and between his work and mine, we don't see each other much anymore."

"You're a little down, you say?" Colleen scoffed at that. "Should we go over to the mirror and have a look at you before you collapse?" Michael wanted to object, but momma didn't raise no fool. "You don't look like my bonnie boy at all. You look worse than I've ever seen you. What you look is broken, and I'm not going to just stand here and let you bullshit your way through this."

If Colleen swore, that meant he didn't stand a chance. "I'm sorry, Mom, but I can't speak for Kendall. He has to do that. Okay, you're right, I'm not doing too well, but I just need a good night's sleep and I'll feel better."

Colleen busied herself with the forgotten herbal tea as she considered what was the right thing to do. She decided this had gone on long enough. "Drink this." She sat his cup down in front of him as she sat down beside him, facing him. "I asked you a question, but you didn't answer, so I will. Kendall finally told you how he felt... about you, didn't he?" It was a voice a mother uses when she coaxes her child, while letting him know that everything will be all right. The shocked look on Michael's face verified everything. "Michael, you didn't tell me anything. You didn't have to. Your dad and I have known for years how that boy feels about you. He has been in love with you almost from the beginning. I saw it the first time you brought him here, although most people wouldn't... but I'm a mother who can tell when someone loves her son."

"Dad saw it too?" Shit, he just admitted his mom was right.

"Yes, he did. It took him longer, but he finally saw it. He brought it up to me, not the other way around. We love Kendall, you know that."

Michael was at a loss for words so he just sat there trying to digest that both his parents saw something that he didn't. What did all this mean? "How come you two saw it and I didn't? I have to be the densest friend on the planet. He deserved better from me. He has been so unhappy for all this time, and I didn't have a clue. What kind of friend does that make me?"

Colleen didn't like hearing that sorrow in his voice. There was an edge of desperation in it that scared her. "You didn't see it, because Kendall didn't want you to. We only saw it when he thought no one was looking. That's when he would let his guard down. You can't blame yourself for that, just like you can't blame him for how he feels. You can only try to fix it."

Michael looked at his mother wanting to say anything but what he knew to be true. "Oh God, Mom. I don't blame him for anything." That was the reaction Colleen expected. "It doesn't matter anymore anyway. Kendall has moved on already. He has a new friend, someone like him, and he doesn't want me around. It makes it too hard for him, he says." Michael hung his head to try to hide the fresh batch of tears brewing behind his eyes, but it was a waste of time when they started spilling out on to his jeans.

Colleen was surprised at this information, but she didn't let it show. She wasn't done with trying to help her son. "When you said 'someone like him', did you mean gay?"

Michael nodded as he wiped his eyes. "That's what I've been told." One of his new teammates had told him about seeing Kendall with that gay architect guy from the gym. They were apparently at the Emporium at the time. Sadness enveloped him at the thought. That had been their place.

"Michael, look at me."

He did, and all he saw was love and a need to help.

"How do you feel about Kendall? I mean right now, when you think about him, how do you feel? Don't think about it, just say it... just tell me."

Michael hesitated, frowning at the unexpected question.

"You're thinking too much. Just tell me!"

"I miss him. I miss him so much it feels like a constant pain. Sometimes, I panic and I can't breathe. I want to see him. I want to hear him laugh and see him smile. I want to feel his arm around my shoulders. I hate his new friend. I want to punch his lights out. He's taking my place and it's not fair, but Kendall says I can't love him the way he needs me to, and he doesn't want me around. He doesn't want me around, and I miss him so much, and I can't sleep, and I fuck up at work... sorry, Mom. I suck at hockey, and I hate going to the gym by myself. I want him to be happy so I have to stay away, but I feel so empty... sometimes I just want to die. Oh God... oh God, I feel so bad, and it's like, all the time."

No more words were possible. Michael did collapse. His mother's strength couldn't keep him from sliding to the floor, but his dad was there in an instant, tears filling his eyes as he witnessed his son's agony. They all sat on the floor, a family crying together because now they all felt the rawness and sheer force of the pain Michael had been carrying by himself. It was a relief for him to finally share it. It was a relief for his parents too. They had known for a long time that something like this was coming. It had been discussed more than a few times, but nothing really prepared them for Michael's devastation, so they just did what they could and gave him all the love and support they had in them.

Ten minutes later, they were sitting around the old, oak kitchen table, each trying to regroup in their own way, even though they were completely connected with each other. Michael had his head resting on the table the way he often did as a teenager. The tears had stopped and now there was just the occasional sniffle. His father had one hand lying on his son's forearm, trying to give him strength, and his mom had busied herself again with making fresh mint tea for all of them. They were all tired, but Colleen knew they weren't finished yet.

"Michael, are you seeing anyone right now?" Colleen was pretty sure what the answer would be, and she was right.

"What? No. Nobody right now. Why?"

"Oh, no reason. I just was wondering. Who was the last girl you were seeing?"

"Ah, Candy. We broke up." Michael was acting totally uninterested in the conversation, because he was. His mind was on Kendall. Even though he meant everything he said, he was a little surprised at what had come pouring out, especially that part about wanting to punch that guy's lights out. He hadn't realized just how jealous he was of Kendall's new friend. He knew his name, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.

"So when did that happen?"

Michael looked at her blankly.

"When did you break up with Candy?"

"About a month ago, I guess. The same night Kendall said we couldn't be friends anymore."

Colleen shot a pointed look at her husband, and Michael Sr. caught and returned it. "So you haven't gone on a date or anything at all?"

"No, I haven't. I haven't met anyone that interests me." Why was she asking this stuff now?

"I see." Colleen took a deep breath as she got ready for her next question.

"When was the last time you were really happy with someone? Do you think you've ever been in love?" Colleen waited for his reaction.

"What the heck, Mom? Why are you asking such a weird question? I'm having a pretty tough night here and you're asking about my love life?"

"Call it a mother's prerogative, bonnie boy. Maybe I am asking about the fact that you don't have a love life." Her words confused her son, and it showed. "Michael, think about it. You are almost twenty-six years old and you haven't brought a girl home since high school prom, and you only did that because I insisted on taking pictures. You go through women like... well, anyway... you go through a lot of women, yet none of them have made you happy. At least, none that we've seen."

"What the hell are you getting at?"

"Watch your language with your mother, son." His dad could see him getting agitated, but respect was something he insisted on.

"Sorry, Mom. Sorry, Dad."

"Look, Michael. Your dad and I love you, and only want what's best for you, whatever it may be." Collen spoke softly. "I'm simply asking you to think about something. In all these years, we've only seen one person make you happy, and that's Kendall. And before you get all fired up, I want to say something more about what your father and I have noticed. Those looks Kendall would give you when you weren't looking... you would give those same looks to him. Not only that. You're always concerned with where he is and how he's doing when he's here, always wanting to look after him and do things for him, just like your father does with me."

Michael was stunned. He looked over at his father as if for confirmation. Michael Sr. nodded at his son.

Colleen knew it needed to be done, but it wasn't easy to watch Michael wrestle with what had just happened. "I know this is a tough conversation to have with your parents, but you know we love you more than anything, right?"

"Yeah Mom, I do. I know that. Right now, that's all I know. So you guys think I am in love with Kendall? That's what you're saying?" They both nodded at the same time. "Wow." Michael felt something sort of like hope at that moment.

"I want to ask you one more question but you don't have to answer it if you don't want to. Is that okay? I know you're tired and you've gone through a lot lately, but we are talking about your life... your happiness. I think you need to figure out what you really want and take control of it, and your life. Right now, I don't think you're in control of anything, and that scares your dad and me."

"What's the question? I'm sorry but I really do need to go to bed soon. I'm wiped out."

"Okay, I understand. You don't have to answer, but I need you to think about it at least. Have you ever felt any physical attraction towards Kendall? Any at all? Any you might have buried for the sake of friendship?" There was no reaction from Michael, but his mother could see him slowly pulling into himself, deep in thought.

For Michael's part, he became lost in the threads of a memory that started to coalesce in his mind. A memory that went from vague to vivid in a heartbeat. He started at his father's voice.

"We're going to bed, son. If you need anything at all, wake us up, okay? We're here for you. I love you, and I am so proud of you. We'll talk in the morning."

Michael stood up to receive a bear hug from the big man he got his own frame from. "I love you too, Dad. Good night."

Turning to his mom, he scooped her up and she giggled. "I know what you are trying to do for me, Mom. Thank you. I've got a lot to think about. I love you so much. I couldn't ask for a better parents."

"Oh, Michael, we just want you to be happy. Now put me down, bonnie boy. I love you too." She giggled again. Michael watched her follow his dad up the stairs. As he headed to the back bedroom that was his, turning out the lights on his way, he let that memory wash back over him again. He undressed and slid under the covers, not even bothering to look for his toothbrush. His teeth would have to wait till morning, he was just too tired. He drifted off to sleep with a memory of Kendall, laying in a bed on his stomach, his naked body bathed in moonlight. That memory made his cock hard as steel.

Oh God, it was nice to wake up rested for a change. Michael stretched a body that felt a burn that was familiar to most hockey players. It was a good burn. New-found clarity was a gift his parents and their love had bestowed on him the previous night. It went well with the good sleep. He saw things better than he had in a long time, maybe ever. He didn't have all the pieces yet, and certainly not all the answers. But he wasn't hiding from himself anymore. When he fell asleep last night, he drifted into dreams. Dreams that let him see Kendall the way his heart wanted him to. Dreams that set him free. Hours after he had fallen asleep last night, he slowly went from unconscious to conscious... and a dream turned into a memory.

It was near the beginning of their second year at college. They shared a newer, bigger room than the previous year, one that faced east. It was a hectic time, with parties everywhere. Michael remembered hitting the first party with Kendall, but losing track of him after that. Darla the Dish found him at party number two or three, and latched on to him for the long haul. Figuring he was set for the night, he partied pretty hard, with DD on his arm the whole time, winding him up until he was primed and ready.

The walk to her dorm wasn't far so they both decided to head over there for some fun... or so Michael thought. He remembered being incredulous when she informed him, upon getting there, that sex outside of a relationship was not for her. All of a sudden there had to be a commitment. This from the girl who'd had her hand down his pants on the walk over. Michael, ever the gentleman, thanked her for the evening and walked away. She seemed shocked he didn't want to set another date, or even want her phone number. Michael didn't mind her saying no, but he was not impressed with the teasing. Tonight was one of those few nights he had bet on the wrong horse.

No doubt about it. Michael was horny, but it wouldn't kill him to go without, so accepting his fate, he trekked off to his dorm room. Opening up the door, he could hear the soft snores of a passed-out Kendall. Because it was a full moon, and the blinds that were ripped down the previous weekend had not yet been replaced, Michael left the light off. Moonlight filled the room, casting interesting shadows everywhere. Trying to be quiet, he snickered when he saw that Kendall was sprawled naked on his bed.

Walking closer, Michael found himself mesmerized by the sight in front of him. Kendall's arms were stretched out, and over his head, showing the strength of his upper body. The furrow in the middle of his back was shown in sharp relief by silvery moonlight as it led Michael's captivated eyes down to the dip above an ass that was the centerpiece of perfect symmetry. The full solid roundness looked both firm and soft, the muscles highlighted by an almost magical glow. He couldn't pull his eyes away from what he was seeing.

The slumbering power in that body was on display in a way Michael couldn't ignore. One of those magnificent hair-covered legs was pulled up slightly; enough to provide an intriguing view of a shadow between the globes of his ass down and down to a mysterious dark area between the slightly parted legs. Barely present in the here and now, he was astounded by how beautiful a naked man could be. This man, Kendall, was stirring something deep within him. He had never realized before how hair accentuated the beauty of such a body.

The hair on Kendall's legs, on the bottom of his ass, and in the line between his cheeks, appeared to sparkle as it caught the moonlight. It was so different from a women's body. Kendall looked powerful and vulnerable both, so hard and so soft, all at the same time. At some point... Michael didn't know how long he had stared at the sleeping form of his best friend... he came back to his senses and backed away from the bed, aware that his cock was as hard as it had ever been. The feeling he got from the sight before him became overwhelming, and he forced himself to turn around.

What the fuck was he doing? This was so wrong. He was actually perving on his best friend. A man. Was it just because he hadn't gotten laid? His cock was demanding attention and his alcohol-fueled fuzzy brain was having trouble comprehending what that meant. Determined not to betray his friend in such a way again, he undressed and slid into his own bed, confused and ashamed. He tried to will his hard-on away, but no dice.

With no willpower to stop it, Michael's hand wrapped around his cock, sliding slowly up and down the length of it. He sucked air through his teeth at the different level of intensity his stroking brought. It startled him, so he closed his eyes and turned his thoughts to Darla's perky tits, and that plump ass he had felt under her skirt. It was no use... that image didn't last as the one of Kendall lying five feet from him, booted it away. Despite his efforts not to look, Michael's gaze was drawn back to Kendall, and a different view of perfection.

The side view was just as astounding as his eyes traced the curves of Kendall's body from a different angle, and powerless to stop it, Michael's hand picked up speed. Like he was in a trance, Michael slid out of bed and stood up, drawing closer to the man, no longer trying to fight the desire to take in this spectacular moonlit view. Somewhere inside of him, was acknowledgement that this had nothing to do with the booze he had consumed. He needed this more than air at that moment. With almost no warning, his orgasm hit him hard. It was sudden and furious and seemed to go on forever. Cum sprayed again and again over the tile floor as Michael struggled to keep his balance. He'd gone to an entirely new place, one he'd never been to before. He had to let go of his cock before it was over. It was so sensitive, almost painful after such a body-wracking reaction, still spurting little jets after he released it.

Panic set in after he realized fully what he had done. Holy fuck. He had just jerked off over his best friend's naked, sleeping body, and the guilt was rising too fast to keep up with. He was horrified. What if Kendall had seen him do such a thing? He would probably never forgive him, and there was no escaping the feeling he had violated Kendall... violated his trust. And if that wasn't bad enough, he couldn't figure out what had come over him. Or why. He had never looked at any guy that way before. Women were his thing. Cleaning up the mess he made, took forever. He just hoped none of it had made it onto Kendall's bed.

He spent the rest of the night awake and ashamed, vowing never to betray the man like that again. He would be the best friend he could possibly be, and by morning he had promised himself to never again think of what he'd done, for both their sake's. He avoided Kendall for the next few days, and then things slowly went back to normal for him. He was able to put it behind him and bury the act, and the feelings that accompanied it, very, very deep.

Michael knew now that his mother's question had been the catalyst that allowed him to take out this memory from where he kept it hidden, and re-examine it. He hadn't betrayed Kendall... he knew that now. He had betrayed himself by locking away the truth of who he was for so long, convinced being straight was his only answer; that he couldn't possibly be in love with Kendall. He had allowed guilt, shame, and fear to blind and control him. All that did was hurt them both, and he used innocent women along the way; women who never had a chance of matching the feelings Kendall had stirred in him. They provided an easy out from his turmoil, and that thought brought shame and regret with it.

He wasn't too dense to see how Kendall felt about him. It was because his mind refused to. He had been so afraid of his own feelings for the man that he refused to see any options for them. Three weeks and three days ago, they thought each other was a straight man. Now, all bets were off. He didn't just love Kendall, he was in love with him. They didn't have a friendship; what they had was a relationship. It just hadn't included sex, because neither one thought it was in the realm of possibilities. So, he'd satisfied those urges with women, thinking Kendall was doing the same. As long as he had those other parts of his friend, he'd deluded himself into thinking he was happy.

Michael knew better now. Stretching again, he felt a freedom that was foreign to him, and he loved it. He wanted Kendall; heart, body and soul. Women were no longer an option, now that he finally faced his own truth. There was only one person in this world for him, of that he was certain. He wasn't sure yet how to go about it, but he hoped it wasn't too late. His brain had made a huge mistake... and now there was somebody else in the picture.