I Hate This Town - 23. Chapter 23: Mistakes and Consequences

When Alec woke up tomorrow, or later today, he was sure he would be upset. The decisions being made weren’t the most responsible. No doubt they’d regret this. Yes, they were being terrible adults. He tried to remind himself of that fact as he tugged Finn into the hotel’s elevator. His hair was messed up from their desperate need to be connected at the mouth on the way over. Alec was a little dazed. The alcohol was giving him enough of a confidence boost and diminished inhibition, that a large part of him was justifying every action he’d taken since the bar.

When he reached the hotel door, Finn latched to his back as he struggled to dig the key card out of his pocket. His fingers threaded into Alec’s hair and as a result he almost dropped the card when he nipped at his neck. At this rate, they wouldn’t even get into the room. Fingers curled around Alec’s hip and Finn held him in place as he pressed against the shorter man. Alec bit his lip, gasping as Finn sucked a mark on his neck. He swiped the card fast and the hand left Alec’s hip. Finn pushed the door open after releasing blue hair. He pulled Alec in after him and slammed the door. Alec’s back hit the door and Finn stepped closer. It was dark and for some reason, not knowing when and where the touches were coming from made them all the better.

Fingers found the ribs on Alec’s left side and Finn’s hand trailed up until they found his cheek. He guided their lips together and things shifted. It wasn’t as wild. He kissed Alec slowly, curling and sliding his tongue over the other’s after he’d coaxed open his mouth. The kiss almost made Alec squirm. He gripped the front of Finn’s shirt and the blond stepped closer. Now chest to chest, Alec wrapped his arms Finn’s neck as he kissed him with far too much feeling over and over until Alec’s head spun from something other than alcohol.

A knee slid between the shorter man’s legs and his hands dropped to grab Alec’s ass, forcing him to grind against Finn’s thigh. Alec gasped and Finn’s lips left his, traveling down his neck as he began to move his hips in the rhythm Finn’s hands had started.

“Fuck!” Alec gasped, tangling his fingers in Finn’s hair.

“Mm eventually. Going to take my time though. I’ve only been waiting for this for over a decade.”

Alec moved hands around to cup his face and kiss him again, taking the lead this time. Finn’s hips rolled forward as he let out a soft whimper when they parted. Alec nibbled his lower lip and then suddenly, he was being lifted. On instinct, Alec wrapped his legs around the blond’s waist and made his own marks on his neck as he carried Alec across the room.

Finn laid him down gently, then his hands ran gently down Alec’s sides, “Lube? Condoms?”

“Uh there are some in my suitcase I think.” Alec blushed and sat up quickly, narrowly avoiding headbutting Finn. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and switched the flashlight on as he scurried over to his suitcase. For some reason, as he searched the pockets, he became more nervous. Maybe having to actually think had sobered him up?

He shook his head, letting out a relieved breath when he found the small bottle of lube and strip of condoms. Alec walked slowly back to the bed and rubbed his neck as he set the items on the bed. He stood awkwardly there then, now uncertain. Finn lifted his phone from Alec’s fingers and set it on the bed too. He sat on the bed and they stayed in silence for what seemed like hours but was probably only thirty seconds.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re really that uncomfortable Alec.”

Alec bit his lip and stepped around the bed, clicking the bedside light on. Then-after hesitating a moment-went to sit next to him, “I’m just…nervous. What if it sucks?”

Finn laughed and Alec’s cheeks heated as he glanced at him. God he was gorgeous. The soft, warm light made his coloring even prettier and Alec had to look away at the small smile Finn was aiming his way. He scooted a bit closer, “Don’t have much faith in me, huh?”

Alec’s head jerked up so he could frown at Finn, “I didn’t mean because of you.”

“Mm. None of that.” Finn’s fingers grazed Alec’s cheek, “The constant nerves and lack of self-confidence have always bothered me Alec. You’ve never let yourself see how amazing you are. I’m not going to miss out again because I lost to your inner negative monologue.”

He pushed Alec down gently on his back and leaned over him, kissing his forehead gently. This was terrible. Alec was slightly annoyed that Finn kissed his forehead and not his lips. Getting addicted to his high school sweetheart’s kisses was definitely another terrible idea. Alec didn’t have too much time to panic as he got his wish immediately after getting upset. Finn’s teeth pulled at his lower lip as his fingers ran up Alec’s stomach, taking his shirt with them. He kept going and broke the kiss to help Alec pull it over his head. Then Finn reached behind his head and tugged his off as well and Alec bit his lip. Sure, he’d seen pictures and he’d felt his muscle through his clothes, but it was nothing compared to seeing his skin. It was golden and his torso was very well defined.

He smirked down at Alec and caught his wrist, guiding his palm to his chest, “The point is to touch.”

Alec sat up and ran his fingers over every inch of skin he could reach. Looking up at Finn as he moved down, Alec brushed his fingertips over the dark blond trail that led into Finn’s jeans.

He held Finn’s eye contact as Alec unbuttoned them and tugged the zipper down. Alec broke eye contact only when he’d wrapped fingers around a thick base and pulled Finn out. Alec nearly whimpered as he looked down. All of Finn was perfect and well…proportionate. Alec stroked a few times experimentally and rubbed his palm gently over the head. Finn’s breath hitched and Alec looked up at him. Finn’s eyes were hooded and his jaw was clenched.

“Get up.” Alec said quietly. Finn looked confused for a moment and then he seemed to realize what the other man was after.

“Nah.” He walked around the bed and laid on his back after grabbing the lube, “Come here.”

He worked his pants farther down and Alec blushed, dropping his to the floor and resisted the urge to cover himself. He crawled over, climbing on top of Finn, and he motioned for Alec to turn around. It was probably good that he wasn’t biting his lip at that moment or Alec surely would’ve bitten through it. He faced away, coming face to face with what he’d wanted before. Alec reached out and held it loosely. Then leaned forward to begin kissing gently up the underside and sucking softly on the vein. There was a sharp intake of breath behind him and Alec felt slick fingers slide between his cheeks.

Maybe he would just die tonight? Then Alec wouldn’t have to deal with anything and he would’ve finally had sex with the one who let him get away.

Alec tried to focus, wrapping his lips around the tip and sucking softly as he tried not to squeeze his thighs together. Hands kneaded his cheeks and one trailed down, cupping his balls before teasing down his shaft. Alec moaned and Finn chuckled. Not about to be outdone, he relaxed and slowly worked down half of Finn’s length, bobbing his head. Alec sucked harder as he pulled up and ran his tongue over the slit.

“Ah Jesus fuck Alec!” Finn gasped and the man in question grinned, closing his eyes as Finn slipped a finger into him, going slow, thank god. Alec had been experiencing a…dry spell before he came home.

The finger moved inside and Finn’s other hand stroked him a few times before going back to his ass. Alec felt Finn spread him and he forced more into his mouth. Alec nearly choked as another finger pushed in. He moaned around Finn and hollowed his cheeks as he bobbed. The blond’s hips lifted off the bed and Alec whimpered as Finn forced the last bit into his mouth with a groan. Finn had stretched enough for a third finger and the younger man was becoming nervous. If Finn kept it up, he didn’t know if he’d last.

Alec pulled off with a gasp, “Please Finn.”

“Please what baby?” He asked, fingers deep.

“I want it.”

“Yeah?” Alec nodded and Finn removed his fingers. His hand on Alec’s hip commanded him to turn and Finn tried to push him down onto the bed. Alec straddled him instead. Was that him breathing that loud? Jeez. Finn snatched the condom and Alec tried to focus as he watched him roll it down his cock.

Finn’s eyes ran over the body above him until they reached his face, “This is like a fever dream. You gonna ride me baby?”

Alec nodded and reached behind him, lifting, and biting his lip hard when the tip pressed in. Alec’s head fell back and he made himself take more. They both moaned and Alec rested his hand in front of him, on Finn’s delicious abs, as he began to rock his hips. Alec rolled his hips, taking it bit by bit. Finn’s hands found them and he bucked up. Alec gasped out and placed both hands on his lower stomach as he moved. He looked down at him and Finn’s lips were parted, breath coming in little pants as he watched where they were connected.

Alec wasn’t going to last much longer. The the time was shortened even more as the blond braced his feet on the bed to crash his hips upward when Alec bounced. Finn swore more than Alec ever expected and the words in his lust-deepened rasp made the man lightheaded. He barely knew what was going on. He just wanted to hit that peak and bring Finn to his, nothing else mattered. His nails were digging into Finn’s perfect skin. Alec thought that the string of noises and words he muttered should be mortifying, but damn, he’d never had it like this.

As the tension in his lower body built,he gasped, “Please, Finn please.”

The two rolled, quickly switching positions as the blond pulled out and flipped Alec onto his stomach. Hands held him from behind and his lower body was dragged up so that Alec was on his knees. Then Finn pushed back in. Alec cried out, gripping the sheets as the man behind him increased the pace and sank so much deeper. Finn alternated between long deep thrusts and fast shallow ones. Alec felt like his head was going to explode.

Finn whined softly, panting hard now, “Alec, fuck baby, I’m going to come. Ah, say my name again.”

Alec nodded frantically and cried out again when his prostate was hit. Finn’s hips paused and then he narrowed in on that spot, hitting it until his partner was gasping Finn’s name as he came. His hands tightened to bruising on Alec’s hips. Then Finn thrusted as deep as he could and stayed there, letting out a moan that nearly made Alec’s toes curl.

He had no idea how long they went at it or how many rounds. All he knew was that he woke up covered with blankets and clean. There were arms around him and he kept his eyes closed as it dawned on him. What was he thinking? This was going to make it harder on everyone! Stupid! He had never been so annoyed with himself and still, Alec couldn’t keep his mind away from replaying last night. He wasn’t a virgin, but he had never in his life had anything that compared to last night. Was it because they knew they only had one night? Alec had no idea, but he groaned softly as he realized he’d ruined his own sex life.

“Mornin’.” Came a sleepy voice behind him and lips kissed the back of his neck and shoulder.

He didn’t do this. He didn’t let people stay after. This was his room, however, so Finn needed to leave then. Why hadn’t he? He had to have known it’d be awkward in the morning. If Finn did know, he’d thrown caution into the wind and held Alec tight, still peppering kisses along his neck. Alec thought he might have a heart attack.

The arms left his waist and he felt Finn roll away from him. Alec scooted over, trying to get distance between the two of them. Finn lay on his back, rubbing at his eyes. Alec stayed focused on his face. He couldn’t look anywhere else or he’d notice how dangerously low the blanket was sitting on the man’s hips. Alec rubbed hands down his face and mumbled softly at the soreness in his lower back. He was still tired and the lighting that came through the gaps in the curtains was still pale. Alec rubbed his back and looked around for his phone. He spotted on the floor by the bed and crawled to the end to snatch it up. He cringed first at the missed texts and calls from River. Then he cringed at the time. It was still only four in the morning. He couldn’t believe it wasn’t the next day. It’d seemed like they’d been at it for at least that long.

“Should…should we talk about it?” Alec asked as he rubbed his shoulder.

“Talk about what?” Finn yawned. Alec could feel the bed shift.

“What do you mean ‘what’? About last night!” Alec turned and frowned softly.

Finn was sitting up, elbow propped on a raised knee as he used his thumb and ring finger to rub his eyes, “What is there to talk about? I knew where we stood after we talked yesterday. This doesn’t change anything for you. I knew that going into this Alec. We’re on different pages and it sucks, but it’s going to have to be okay.” He sighed, resting his hand on the lower half of his face as he zoned out.

Alec patted down his messy hair and tried to get his thoughts in order. While it was true that they’d talked things out, they’d obviously proven through actions that it might not be the best plan. He ran his hands over his face and groaned. This was a mess. Could he just blame his mother for everything? She was the reason he’d been desperate to leave his shitty hometown. She was the reason he’d come back too. If she wasn’t sick, none of this would’ve happened. He could have stayed in Washington and acted like he was totally over Finn and didn’t think about him every day for a decade straight.

Alec shook his head, dragging his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. He closed his eyes and cleared his throat, “Finn, I think I should go home.”

“Yeah, I thought that was the plan.” Finn sighed and Alec glanced over to see the other man putting his boxers and jeans back on.

“I mean now. I don’t think I should stay any longer.” Alec bit his lip, watching Finn slowly collecting the rest of his clothes. His eyes roamed over Finn’s back, noting faint red scratches on his shoulders and upper back.

“I guess that’s up to you.” Finn shrugged and yanked his shirt over his head. He scrubbed at his messy hair and settled his eyes on Alec.

Alec’s widened. The look on Finn’s face stole his breath away. Finn looked resigned, but the set of his shoulders and his eyes gave him away. He’d said he understood things between them hadn’t changed and he’d get over it, but he’d lied. He was devastated. Alec felt tears build and the corners of his eyes burned as he tried to keep them in.

Finn grimaced, “Please don’t cry. I’m trying not to make this harder for you.”

“I made it impossibly harder when I brought you here last night. I don’t…I don’t want this, Finn.” He’d lost his battle and he felt the tears sliding down his cheeks. It made him feel stupid. He was far too old to be a crybaby.

“I know you don’t want it. I get it. You don’t want to be together.” Finn snapped, dragging his fingers through his hair.

“That’s not what I meant.” Alec snapped right back, trying to ignore how his voice broke in the middle of the sentence.

“Then,” Finn rubbed his hand over his jaw and let out a frustrated noise, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re confusing me and I don’t like it.”

Alec wiped at his cheeks and stood, walking over to the other man, “Come with me.”

“What are you talking about?” Finn frowned, taking a step back.

Alec followed and tried to keep his sudden desperation out of his voice, “To Washington. Come back with me. I have a house and I make enough money. You wouldn’t have-“

“Alec…”

“It could work! You could start a gym there! I live in Seattle, it’d do great!” Alec’s voice was raising and he’d failed. Desperation seeped into every word and he feared he was borderline panicking.

“Alec.”

“Even if you didn’t start a gym, you could finish your schooling and I’m sure it would be way easier for you to find a job there than it would be here!”

“Alec. Alec!” Alec jumped when Finn shouted, more tears leaking from his eyes. Finn sighed and looked up at the ceiling before dragging his hands down his face, “It’s not going to work. I can’t do any of that. My family’s here. I’ve been here my whole life. I can’t leave. I just can’t.”

“Not…not even for me?” He knew the question was selfish, but he couldn’t stop the words. Alec’s eyes dropped to the ground and he wrapped his arms around himself as something inside him fractured. His energy drained out of him and his emotion went with. It was like an emotional bleed out. Figuratively, of course.

“Alec don’t make it like that. Don’t make me the bad guy here. Please. You refuse to leave your life there and it’s the same for me. Who knows? Maybe if we’d figured things out when we were younger, we could be together. We both know that’s not what happened though. We’re stuck with this.” Finn took a step closer.

Alec back pedaled and tripped over his own feet, landing roughly on his backside. Finn hurried forward and reached out but Alec threw his hands up, face burning with embarrassment, “Please just leave. Just go.”

“Alec s-“

“Go Finn! Get out!” Alec smacked the other man’s hands away when he tried to help him up.

Finn’s face was distraught as he stumbled backwards, but he only closed his eyes for a moment, sighed, and turned to leave.

Alec’s head dropped into his hands and he leaned against his knees after pulling them to his chest. He heard the door open. Then there was a pause-a hesitation-before he heard another, heavier sigh and then the door closed. Alec curled tighter in on himself, moving his hands around to cover his head as he finally gave in. He let the tears come, but lost control quickly. They morphed into sobs and then he couldn’t stop as he became hysterical.

It was wrong. It was all wrong and he hated it. He hated his mother. He hated this state. He hated his current situation and lastly, he hated himself. The only bright side was at least he’d scheduled a therapy appointment before all this had gone on. He gripped his hair, gasping as he crawled to the bed, searching for his phone and swearing loudly when he struggled to unlock the device with his shaking hands. Once he’d opened it, he rushed to open his browser. He typed words in, huffing in frustration at his inability to spell things right the first time. Once he’d gotten it right, he clicked a link and his eyes scanned the page as he studied prices. He took a shuddering breath and began to plan.