I Hate This Town - 22. Chapter 22: Stay

River had been so, so, painfully wrong. Alec almost dropped his face into his hands when they got out of the car. It was a short walk to the bar’s entrance and Alec watched River’s back to not stare at the man standing by the doors. Finn’s hair was spiked again, up and away from his face. He was wearing a tight burgundy short sleeve shirt that clung to every single muscle on his torso. Finn was staring down at his phone, absentmindedly touching his stubble. The dark wash jeans were back and he even had a short black necklace on that matched his black watch. Alec wanted to jump him. Which is why he stopped looking. River’s obnoxious shirt was safer.

Plus, from this angle, he got to see when Kenji’s fingers rested on his friend’s lower back as River stepped forward to greet Finn. Alec smiled, momentarily distracted by happiness for his friend. Alec also got to see Kenji size up Finn. His dark eyes were appraising and they drifted up then flicked down. Finn was either 6’3” or 6’4” which made River’s man four to three inches shorter. Finn was also wider, but Alec’s money would be on Kenji if something went wrong. Kenji’s head inclined as if he had decided something and his fingers ran up River’s spine. Alec watched as his friend shuddered, glancing behind him at Ken. Finn was all bright smiles, but Alec didn’t miss his uncertain glance in his direction.

“River! I haven’t seen you much since you’ve been back. Who’s this?” Fin’s eyes lingered on Kenji and Alec noticed he didn’t even acknowledge him. Alec raised an eyebrow and brushed off the small hurt. It was only fair. They’d had a rough conversation earlier now and they truly hadn’t been given any time to process what had taken place. It was awkward and Alec didn’t know how to manage it. Was there something he could say or do to make things more comfortable? Should he apologize? Ask to be friends? With Finn’s earlier confession, Alec wasn’t sure if the other man would be okay with a platonic relationship.

“This is Kenji.” River grinned and patted Finn’s shoulder as he breezed past him and went into the bar. Kenji followed with a nod to Finn and then Alec noticed they were alone.

“You, uh, you okay?” Finn asked softly, still not looking at Alec.

“I’m all right. I can go if this is going to be hard for you.” Alec said, shifting from foot to foot.

“No. River’s your friend. If anyone should leave, it should be me. I shouldn’t have agreed to come in the first place.” Finn let out a heavy sigh.

“Why did you?” Alec asked. He had to know. If Finn was unsure about the situation, what made him come? What made the blond decide it was worth the discomfort?

“I came because River invited me.” Finn shrugged, “Let’s go in before he comes out to get us.”

Alec nodded slowly. He hadn’t been sure what kind of response he’d get but for some reason, Finn’s answer disappointed him. So, he’d come for River. That was it. Nothing else. Alec was embarrassed to admit that his brain had started spinning together more romantic scenarios. It wasn’t realistic. Finn was hurting. The chances of him doing something for Alec were low.

The place was far too loud and far too packed. River waved at him from the bar and Alec followed Finn’s larger form through the crowd. Kenji shifted so Alec could stand next to River as his friend leaned against the bar. Alec couldn’t see Finn from this angle, and he was totally fine with that. He stepped closer to River and hoped that no one would notice how much his mood had soured. It already wasn’t good when they’d left the hotel. Now, it was downright gloomy. Was there any way he could make tomorrow and his therapy session come sooner? He needed to talk all of this out.

He didn’t need to spend a night on the town. He really didn’t need the mixed drink that River guided into his hand. He handed a water to Kenji and then River leaned over Alec, “Finny boy! What do you want?”

A chest pressed against Alec’s back and he prayed to any god listening to smite him immediately or find some other way to remove him from this situation. He vaguely registered Finn yelling something at River and then his friend turned back to the bar to order. The front pressed against his back left but he could still feel Finn’s presence behind him. He turned and Kenji caught his eye. The man’s left eyebrow raised a touch and Alec raised his own at the water in Kenji’s hand. This was perfect. An excellent solution. He’d simply ignore Finn in favor of learning about River’s mystery man.

“You don’t drink?” He shouted over the bar’s voices and music.

“Not very often. I’m not fond of how it makes me feel.” Kenji said, shrugging.

“Heaven forbid Kenji lose any control.” River scoffed as he turned around and reached around Alec with a drink, “Let’s find somewhere to sit if we can!”

“Where are you from?” Alec asked, desperate to occupy himself with anything other than the man close behind him. Ken only gave a small smile in answer.

The night continued that way. They found a small booth in the corner somehow and Alec focused on anything other than Finn. He’d also leaned heavily into the drinks and he knew he’d made a mistake. He was too scared to try and leave the booth. He doubted his ability to walk. Thankfully, Kenji seemed to be keeping an eye on the entire group. Which was good because the two other men had also had too much.

Alec had his chin in his hands, elbows on their table as his world spun. He was trying to focus enough so that there was only one Kenji, but so far, no good. He shook his head and instantly regretted it. His brain felt like it was floating on water and when he’d shaken it, the waves made it slosh around in his head. It was unnerving and he could already feel a hangover headache brewing.

“So, Kenny, where are you from? Washington?”

“Yes. Now I am. I lived in California from fourteen onward, specifically in San Francisco. Then I moved to Washington.” The man answered, eyes locked on River’s back while he stood at the bar.

“Crazy. How’d you meet River?” Finn asked and Alec winced.

Finn didn’t know. He was blissfully unaware of River’s side hustle. It was an innocent question, but the blond had inadvertently inserted his entire foot into his mouth. Alec sipped at his drink and grabbed at the cheese curds River had brought back with the last round of drinks.

“River and I met through…business.” Kenji said, voice and expression guarded. Alec nodded to himself. The mystery man got bonus points for not outing River.

“Oh, did he tattoo you? That’s some pretty crazy ink!” Finn asked cheerfully.

“No. River has not tattooed me.” Kenji said and his tone made the conversation die.

The men sat in the booth awkwardly and Alec began to really notice how different the three of them were. Kenji was so…grown up. Alec was a tech nerd, Finn a gym one, and River was…River. There was no way they had anything in common. Well, other than River. Alec shifted in his seat and pushed his hair off his forehead as he struggled to think of another topic for discussion.

“Where were you before age fourteen? What does your family do?” Alec grinned, mentally patting himself on the back for his quick thinking.

“We are in business.” Ken replied simply.

“What kind of business?” Finn asked.

“The business kind.”

“The business kind of business?” Finn asked and Alec blinked at the flare of irritation in the blond’s chipper tone.

“Correct.” Kenji said, clearing not willing to expand on anything or explain.

“Why does everyone over here look so depressed?” River cried as he made his return, drink in hand.

“I’m going to talk to someone over there. We graduated together.” Finn said as he nearly threw himself from the booth.

“Oh, all right. I think I might go smoke quick then.” River said as he stood again, “Ji, you coming?”

“I’m fine. Thank you.” River shrugged and bounced off. Alec looked down at his drink, wrapping his fingers around it. Kenji wasn’t a particularly good conversationalist and it helped to have River around to get him talking. Alec couldn’t figure out what to say. He doubted they had similar interests and Alec had run out of idle chit chat conversation starters. There was no way Kenji wanted to have a conversation about coding or software development.

“The blond guy, Finn. River says the two of you are in love.” Alec blinked at the blunt statement and that’s what it was. There was no question mark in the tri-state area.

“We, uh, we were high school sweethearts.” Alec shrugged, taking a long drink from his glass.

“Adorable, but if the feelings are there, why is it that you live so far away?” Kenji asked, fingertip tracing the rim of his water glass.

“I…” Alec was beyond annoyed. Who the hell gave this man the right? The audacity! Did Kenji think he could do whatever he wanted because he was intimidating and hot? Alec lifted a single shoulder. Fair enough really. He couldn’t imagine what it was like to be both gorgeous and terrifying. That was an aesthetic that Alec was positive was unattainable for him.

“You…” Kenji encouraged, sipping his water.

“It’s complicated.” Alec frowned, taking a swig of his drink, and barely avoiding a coughing fit when he tried to swallow the liquid with his windpipe.

“You lack the tools or resources to make it simple then?” Ken’s thumb traced along his jaw and he raised an eyebrow.

“It’s not that I lack tools or resources…”

“Then what is complicating things?” Ken’s expression was slightly amused and Alec wanted to slap his water glass into his lap.

“I don’t know.” Alec set his drink down and crossed his arms.

“You don’t know or you don’t want to admit what the real issue is?”

“Why is this any of your business? We just met and this is super personal.” Alec was uncomfortable and he felt his face heating.

“What’s going on?” Alec jumped at Finn’s booming voice. It easily cut through the surrounding noise and Alec noticed some people turn to look. His face heated even more.

Kenji’s gaze slowly moved from Alec to Finn and the newcomer had the softest smile on his face, “I was just getting to know Alec.”

“Why?” Finn asked, glaring and shoulders tight with tension, “You’re making him uncomfortable.”

“Finn it’s oka- “

“It’s not okay Alec. You’ve basically shrunk in on yourself since I left the table. There can only be one reason for that.” Alec blinked at the barely suppressed anger in Finn’s voice.

“It’s quite rude to interrupt someone when they’re speaking. I dare say it’s worse to imply that someone cannot take care of themselves.” Ken said calmly.

“I didn’t imply that he couldn’t take care of himself.” Finn frowned and Alec could see his confidence waning.

“Alec is an adult, is he not? You didn’t need to rush to his defense and then tell him he was upset. If he is uncomfortable, he can leave a conversation by himself. I didn’t assault him. I didn’t even touch him. He was telling me off himself before you came roaring in.” Kenji said as he relaxed back against the booth.

Finn stared for a second and then his head dropped and he scratched the back of it, “I’m sorry. You’re right. I came in way too hot. I’ve always been way too protective of Alec.”

“How come you guys look upset every time I come back to the table?” River whined as he slid in next to Kenji and cuddled into his side. Ken’s looked surprised and then draped his arm over River’s shoulders.

“It’s nothing. I was making an ass of myself. Kenji was helping me out.” Finn shrugged and smiled sheepishly. Alec met River’s suspicious gaze but Alec only lifted his shoulders a bit in a half-hearted shrug.

Things settled down emotion-wise after that. They became more comfortable the longer they were together and the more they drank. Kenji even seemed to open up a bit. Alec thought the other man was just very serious. Almost severe. He didn’t think he’d ever be as outgoing and exuberant as River and Finn. Alec was in the same boat. Finn and River carried the conversation and were most of the reason their table kept getting dirty looks. At some point, Finn had rested his arm on the booth behind Alec’s head and it’d drawn him closer to the blond. Alec felt like he should say or do something. They’d set boundaries earlier that day. It was a matter of mere hours. Now they were seated incredibly close on the same side of the booth.

“I need another smoke!” River announced as he stumbled from the booth, “Ji, you coming?”

“Yes. You can barely walk.” The man slid out gracefully after River and the pink-haired man wrapped his arms around Kenji’s closest one.

“I’m totally fine!” River was yelling in Kenji’s ear as the man patiently guided River to the back door. Alec smiled as Ken’s only reaction to River was to tilt his head slightly away from the yelling.

“I’m sorry that I freaked out earlier. Kenji was right. I was out of line. You’re too old now for me to fight all your battles for you.” Finn said after taking a drink.

“It’s not necessary. I’ve been taking care of myself for a while now.” Alec played with the napkin under his sweating drink and the water droplets on the outside of the glass dripped onto his hands.

“I needed to apologize. You’re not helpless. You never have been. My emotions are just running really high.” Finn’s elbows rested on the table and he propped his head up with the heels of his hands.

“Why are you so hard on yourself? It seems like we’ve switched and you’re the one constantly beating yourself up and I’m the well-adjusted one.

“You’ve always been the better half.” Finn downed the rest of his drink and rubbed his cheek before pushing himself off the seat.

Alec frowned at his back, “Where are you going?”

Finn, “Truck. Don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Finn you can’t drive!” Alec scrambled after him, tugging at his arm to try and get him to stop.

“I’m fine. Promise.” Alec managed to get a better grip on his arm as they emerged outside. They were in front of the building and Alec maneuvered around so he could grip the front of Finn’s shirt and press him into the nearest wall.

“Well damn. Didn’t know it was going to be that kind of night.” Finn chuckled and Alec shook his head, pinning the man when he tried to get away from him.

“You can’t drive. I’ll call you a cab or something.” Alec pleaded, watching the smile dim on Finn’s face.

“You coming with? There aren’t any hotels in Sunnyside, so y’all must be staying here in town, right? How far is your hotel?” Finn was smirking at him but Alec still noted his amusement fading.

“That’s…we talked about that Finn. I’m not staying and it’s not a good idea. We agreed, remember?”

Finn brushed Alec’s hands off his front, “Did we agree to something or did you convince us both that this could only end badly because you’re too scared to try?”

Alec dragged his fingers through his hair before wrapping his arms around himself, “Finn. Please. I have a life in Washington. I’ve built something there and honestly, yes, I’ve thought about trying to make it work, but I’m not willing to give up everything I’ve struggled for. I can’t stay.”

“You won’t stay.” Finn’s face was grim now and he rested his back against the wall again, tilting his head back to look up at the night sky.

Alec glanced around them and smiled nervously at the people passing them by. There was no illusion of privacy. They were standing in front of a, frankly grungy, bar near the entrance. They were getting looks from patrons and even the man taking entry fees at the door. Alec was annoyed by the attention even while he tried to placate curious or judgmental gazes with his pathetic smiles. He looked at Finn and frowned when he saw that the blond had a hand covering most of his face. Finn’s fist smashed into the brick behind him and Alec jumped. He dropped both hands and then his eyes landed on Alec again.

“I can’t Finn.” Alec whispered. His chest hurt and it felt like the pain was compacting his insides. His stomach hurt now too and his shoulders were complaining at how tightly he was holding them. He’d felt optimistic after their talk this afternoon. His optimism was dead and looking at Finn-where he’d slumped against the wall-physically hurt him.

“Fine. I get it. I do. It’s not fair for me to ask you to drop everything so that we can be together. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I can’t keep you forever.” Finn straightened and stepped away from the wall.

“I’m sorry. I never wanted any of this to happen.” Alec sighed as Finn stepped even closer.

Finn’s fingers grazed over his jaw and slid to hold the back of his neck, his thumb rubbing gently behind Alec’s ear. Finn leaned down and Alec knew he should pull away but he was transfixed by the big brown eyes locked on his. They were filled with pain, regret, and a whole slew of other emotions that Alec was intimately familiar with. The same feelings had frozen him in place. They’d tightened his chest and twisted his stomach in knots.

Finn’s lips brushed his so lightly, Alec wasn’t positive they’d made contact. Finn’s eyes were hooded as he pressed against Alec, ”Stay.”

“Finn-“

“I don’t mean forever. Stay tonight. Just give me tonight.”