I Hate This Town - 3. Three: Get Together

If he thought he regretted this decision earlier, he’d been sorely mistaken. Now, it was one hundred times worse. He’d changed his outfit four times and even attempted to do something with the shaggy purple mess on top of his head. To no avail. He’d settled on black skinny jeans and a thicker black and blue, chunky, cable knit sweater that hung over his hands when he straightened his arms. It was still fall technically and he knew he’d get cold if he sat outside all night in front of a probably weak fire.

His last line of defense, his last hope, had been that his parents would say no. Of course, that wasn’t what happened. They jumped at the thought that Alec could be making more friends. They’d met Finn only once in passing after school and they remembered him favorably. It also helped that he worked at his family’s store and Alec’s parents were always in there.

He shifted nervously in the passenger seat as River’s mother ordered him to stay safe for the one millionth time. Finally, with an annoyed noise, River rolled up his window and pulled out of his driveway. River’s mother was overprotective. She demanded perfection in school and at home and didn’t like it much when he left the house. For anything. River called her smothering, but Alec thought it must be nice to have a parent care so much. There was a strange disconnect Alec had never understood between him and his parents.

The ride was too quiet. They’d turned up the radio and River’s aggressive, scream-filled music spread through the space between them that the lack of conversation had created. They were both nervous. This was their first real social outing. Neither really hung out with other kids. They did things together, but it was normally the two of them. That was it. River’s words came back to haunt Alec. What if there were a lot of people there? Would it be a repeat of the first day of school where he’d almost had a full-blown panic attack in the bathroom? He didn’t think he’d ever be able to talk to Finn again if that was the case.

“This is the street I think.” River announced and they both stared. The gravel road was packed with cars. Finn lived outside city limits on an acreage. This meant there weren’t many houses around. It also meant the roads leading to his house had been mostly gravel and Alec had thought River meant to kill them a few times. It was apparent the boy wasn’t used to gravel. Alec didn’t know how to drive, but the gravel felt different under the car. It was less stable and harder to drive on. It was probably fine if you were used to it. If you were a newer, inexperienced driver it was a learning experience. Both of which, River was. Alec looked around and realized he recognized a lot of the cars from the school parking lot and he began to sweat. His phone dinged and he glanced down at it while panic set in.

[F: I figured you’d be nervous! So I reserved you guys a spot in the driveway! Let me know when you get here!]

There was indeed an open spot next to a rusty old truck in the two-car wide driveway. Alec pointed it out and explained. River let out a breath of relief, “He’s like really sneaky in a nice way, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Alec frowned at him as they climbed out. He could already hear a lot of loud voices and laughter. Music floated under the voices, bass heavy and bouncy.

“He made sure to invite me, he promised you it’d be low key, and he saved you a parking spot. He took away all of your chances to make excuses.” River laughed. Alec frowned more and sent Finn a message. He received a simple one back.

[F: Out back by the fire. You can’t miss it once you get around the house!]

Alec showed River the text and then followed his slightly braver friend around the white two-story house. River was wearing a black band hoodie and black skinnies as well that he’d tucked into shiny new Doc Martens. They were probably going to stick out like sore thumbs. Even though Alec thought his friend looked perfectly nice. He tried to keep his focus on River, or sweep his gaze broad to find the host. He’d never been to a house party. Obviously, that’s what this was. It wasn’t a small get together. Nearly the whole school was here and it was a good thing Finn lived in the country because everyone was loud.

Finn had also been correct. There was very little chance that the international space station would miss the giant fire in the middle of the crowd. It was a pile of old palettes and who knew what else that was taller than Alec was.

“Alec! River! You guys made it!” River was intercepted in a one-armed side hug and Finn swayed in Alec’s direction before holding his hands up and stopping himself, “Uhm, so there’s soda and whatnot inside. You just have to go through those doors and it’s your first left. The kitchen. Obviously Finn. That’s normally where people keep their food. God.”

Alec smiled softly but then panicked a little as River turned toward the house, “Well, Larson, I hope you made good on your promise to get my chips and root beer or I’ll have to break something.”

Finn laughed and then tilted his head when Alec made to follow his friend, “Help yourselves and come find me when you’re done!”

That turned out to be easier said than done. Armed with sugary soda and plastic cups filled with chips and candy, the friends had tried to reunite with Finn. There were just so many people and they were everywhere. For two hours, they’d weaved in and out of the crowd. They’d stood by the fire for a bit too and kept an eye out, but other than a flash of blond hair here, or dark eyes there, they didn’t see Finn. Alec’s nerves had been steadily rising and he gripped his soda tight.

“Do you want to sit inside for a little while? I’m kind of overwhelmed.” River said when they’d returned to the fire.

“Yes please! This is way too much for me.” People were starting to act wild. They even passed a girl and guy making out in the hallway that led to the kitchen. Alec grimaced. Things were getting a little too crazy for him to believe it was just from soda. He was starting to get a bit suspicious that there was more than met the eye here.

He sighed as they neared the kitchen. River slowed as he heard voices.

“Why would he even invite them?”

“I know! And the parking spot? What the fuck!”

“It doesn’t make sense. I’ve been trying to get Finn’s attention since freshman year and you know how he is. Gorgeous smile and super nice, but it never goes beyond that.”

“Isn’t it…a little weird that he goes out of his way for Homeschooled all the time?”

“Of course, it’s weird. The kid’s weird. He has like one friend who’s just as much of a freak as he is!”

There was a gap in conversation filled with high-pitched giggling. Alec slumped against the wall. River’s eyes were downcast and he twisted a ring on his middle finger brutally.

“Maybe this is like Finn’s charity project for the year. You know he’s always volunteering and shit.”

“Ugh, he’s such a good guy and he’s so fucking hot. He’s put on so much muscle this year. He barely looks like a highschooler anymore!”

River turned away from the kitchen, gripping Alec’s hand, “Let’s get out of here man. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Why are you sorry?” Alec said, rubbing at his eyes as the corners burned with oncoming tears. River just shook his head and guided them toward where they hoped the front door would be.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Finn was coming downstairs. The stairs that appeared to be right in front of the door. He looked over the two and his face grew more worried, “Is something wrong? Are you not feeling well?”

“Uh, yeah. Too much candy man. I think we’re going to bounce but thanks for inviting us.” River offered quickly. Alec was still struggling to hold back the emotions that were pounding inside his chest and head. It sucked. It hurt. Why did people have to act this way? What did they get out of being mean for no reason? Alec and River had certainly never done anything to anyone. They kept to themselves. They didn’t deserve to be talked about that way!

“Oh, okay. I feel like I barely got to talk to you guys.” Finn frowned and then his face grew serious as he looked down at Alec.

Alec was starting to lose his grip. He was hurt. He didn’t want to throw a tantrum, but he was upset. River stepped in again, “Yeah, you seemed really busy. It’s all good. We’re going to head out now, though!”

“Alec are you okay?’ Finn asked softly. His control was almost non-existent now. He threw River a desperate look and his friend tried to move them to the door again

“No.” He managed to force out, “I want to leave.”

“Did something happen?”

The dam broke. His emotions rushed forward like gallons upon gallons of water. He felt like he could barely breathe. The words and feelings took up too much space inside his body. His lungs were pressed out of the way to make room, crushed against his ribs.

“Yeah! Something happened! Your friends are shit! They suck! They’re mean and I’m sorry I ever agreed to come.” Alec made a break for the door, following close behind River.

Finn gripped the back of his shirt, “Please, don’t go like this. Tell me what happened. Can I fix it? What did my friends do?”

“Leave me alone Finn. I want to go home. Please let me go. Stop trying to make me stay. Stop trying in general. I don’t belong with these people and I’m sorry if that disappoints you.” Finn let his hand and head drop. River used the opportunity to rush them from the house. They hurried into the car and River whipped out of the driveway. Alec covered his face when he realized Finn was standing in his doorway, looking like a kicked puppy. He didn’t want to feel bad. He wanted to go home and stop pretending like this friendship could work. He’d been deluded.

Finn was so nice. He was so good. At everything and with everyone. Alec shook the feelings off physically as River drove. His friend was dead silent and Alec had to remind himself that he hadn’t been the only subject of discussion. He felt terrible. He’d dragged River to the party. His friend had gone for emotional support. Otherwise, he’d never have agreed.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry I made you go.” He said at last, working past the lump in his throat.

“You didn’t make me go Alec. I wanted to go to support you. I thought maybe this was Finn’s weird way of setting up a first date.”

“Why would you think that? Finn isn’t gay.” Alec frowned, staring out the passenger window.

“Okay, stupid, intervention time. His sexuality aside because it’s not my place to decide what he is. Do you see him pulling out all the stops for other people? Finn bends backwards just to make you consider agreeing to do something together. The guy practically begs. C’mon you’re way too smart to not have noticed. His entire face lit up like the fourth of July when he saw you tonight.”

Alec shook his head. There was no way. He didn’t know if River had managed to take some kind of drug at the party, but it must be some good stuff for him to be spouting this nonsense. He shook his head again and rested his forehead against the window’s cool glass.

“Alec…listen I was upset too, but you know it wasn’t Finn’s fault, right? He’s a big, oblivious dork. He would never be on board with people treating others that way. Especially not you. Whether you want to see it or not, the guy has a soft spot the size of Texas for you.” River squeezed his shoulder when he finished speaking and Alec worried his lower lip between his teeth. River had earned the right to touch him a little, but he was debating revoking the privilege. A shrug was his only answer and River seemed to give up. His hand dropped and he didn’t say anything else as he drove them back to his house. Alec dreaded the inevitable questions they’d get from both sets of parents. River’s mother would be interrogative and his parents would be excited. He didn’t know which one would go over worse.

It was nearing eleven o’ clock, so luckily no one was awake. The boys shuffled into River’s bedroom and as soon as the door closed, there were two simultaneous relieved breaths. River set about making a bed for his friend on the ground and Alec stood stiffly by the door.

His phone had been vibrating off and on since they’d left the party, but he didn’t have the heart to look at it. He’d hurt Finn’s feelings. He knew that, but his feelings were also hurt. As childish as that sounded. He sprawled out on the blankets while River dropped onto his bed. Both boys were suddenly so tired. Soon, Alec could hear River’s soft snores and he rolled onto his side, facing the bed so his phone’s light wouldn’t wake his friend.

He’d missed four messages and a phone call from Finn. Apparently, the boy had decided that he would not stop trying despite Alec’s words.

[F: I’m sorry. I don’t know what they did, but I’m sorry.]

[F: I know you’re upset but can you answer so I know you’re at least okay?]

[F: Let me know when you two make it home safe. Please. I’m worried.]

[F: I know I’m annoying, but please don’t stop talking to me and not even tell me the reason why. I’m sorry I gave you a hard time about coming. I just really wanted to spend time with you.]

Alec sighed and rubbed his nose. He rolled onto his back and crossed his arms over his face. He pressed dial before he could stop himself. The phone rang once and he heard it connect.

“Alec?”

“Hey. I wanted to tell you we made it to River’s okay.”

“I’m glad. Can I come see you?”

“It’d be rude to leave all your guests.”

“They’re gone. I asked my brother-Milo-to make them leave.” Alec rolled back onto his side as he heard Finn take a breath, “Please? I don’t like how you left.”

Alec let the silence on the line stretch out. He could imagine Finn squirming. The other boy was not the most patient person. He squawked when a hand snatched the phone from him. River rolled his eyes at his friend, “Come over Finn. I’ll have Alec text you the address.”

Alec heard something that sounded like an excited affirmative before River hung up and chucked the phone back at Alec. He fumbled it at first and then glared when he got a good grip. River rolled away from him, extending a middle finger over his shoulder in Alec’s direction before hoisting his comforter higher. Alec glowered at the back of his friend’s head and snuggled more under his borrowed blankets. He’d texted the address and now he was nervously sweating. He’d rather wait to talk this out or better yet, not have the conversation at all. He was still upset and that would make for an even more awkward talk.

After roughly a half hour, he was starting to doze when his text notification went off.

[F: I’m here. Parked on the street.]

Alec reluctantly pushed his blankets down. He pulled his legs to his chest and took a few deep breaths. He was trying and failing to settle himself. The reminder notification went off and he slowly stood. He opened the door as silently as he could. River had already resumed his snoring and he didn’t want to chance waking up his friend’s parents. Sneaking out to meet a boy in the middle of the night? That’d go over well. It didn’t matter which boy it was.

He crept down the hallway, thanking whoever that it was carpeted and didn’t creak underfoot like wood might’ve. Getting through the front door felt like diffusing a bomb. There was a deadbolt that sounded like a gunshot when Alec slid the bolt back. Then the regular doorknob was also locked. That one wasn’t loud at all. He got overconfident. He pushed the screen door open and it screeched so loud, he was positive that he was dead. River’s parents would wake up and he would die. That was it. His story ended here. He stood frozen for a full moment before his heart rate slowed and fear stopped rushing down his spine. He closed the door behind him and then eased the screen door closed, avoiding the horrendous noise this time.

He trudged down the sidewalk, trying not to look at the old truck in front of the house. He reached the truck and waved slightly as Finn reached across to manually unlock the door. Alec hesitated and then climbed in, shutting the door as softly as he could. It’d be his luck if he made it all the way through the house and a car door is what sold him out.

“Do you want to drive around a little? Or we can stay here and talk. Whatever you want!” Finn exclaimed, waving his hands frantically.

“We can drive around. That’s okay.” Alec said.

“Okay, I don’t have heat. Let me know if you get cold. There’s a blanket behind the seat.” Alec nodded, holding his seatbelt with both hands as Finn started a slow loop around the neighborhood. He was gripping the steering wheel like his life depended on it and Alec realized he wasn’t the only nervous one. The loop turned into a scenic tour of backroads. Finn handled them far better than River had. Alec shifted on a seat that had seen better days. The truck was rough inside and out, but it was better than the nonexistent car and license that Alec had. He was fifteen so he could get a learner’s permit, but that was it. The two-year age difference didn’t seem like a lot, but Finn had already done so much more than him.

“So, can we talk?”

“I guess.” Alec played with his fingers in his lap. He’d rather be anywhere else doing anything different. His hands were clammy and he worried his lower lip between his teeth as Finn turned down another gravel road.