I Hate This Town - 39. Chapter 39: End

Alec leaned his chin against his fist as his eyes scanned over the screen. He wrinkled his nose a bit as he started to fix a few mistakes. Once this was done, he really needed to go over the offer from the company he'd left behind in Washington. His position needed to officially be changed and retitled. They didn't seem to want to pay for him to fly back, so he wouldn't. Which meant someone would have to compromise or Alec would have to look for another job. Which wasn’t an issue. He had more than enough in savings and Finn was making decent money now.

Chewing on a hangnail he looked away from one screen and to the left at another. His eyes drifted over the page and ge shifted in his desk chair. Checking the clock, Alec groaned. He'd been working for the better part of the day, and it was about to stop whether he wanted it to or not. Finn was working on something at the gym, and he'd be home any moment.

He sighed as he resigned himself to being done for the day. Herky needed to be taken outside anyway. Alec stood, stretching his fingers up to the ceiling until his wrists and back popped. He repositioned his blanket around his shoulders and clutched the corners at his chest so he had a fuzzy, blanket cape. He took a heavy breath as he opened the door and heard rushing footsteps and claws scratching on the wood flooring. He struggled to get his office door closed as Herky barreled into his legs.

"Yes! I know, I know. Your dad will be home soon so that you can get all the attention you deserve." Alec laughed and coaxed the huge, fluffy dog back to the kitchen where he could let him out into the backyard.

Alec held his blanket tighter and narrowed his eyes at the dark storm clouds rolling in. They were expecting thunderstorms all day tomorrow. He hoped it wouldn't ruin the plans he'd so carefully made. Arranging a dinner that met everyone's schedule demands was difficult and it'd taken him some serious time. Kenji, unsurprisingly, had been the most difficult to work around and he'd still be late.

"Herky! Come on! I have things to do!" He called and rolled his eyes when the dog rolled around on the ground instead of listening.

He fought off his building anxiety about tomorrow with some breathing exercises he'd been trying to work into his normal panic routine. His new therapist was really earning her money. The first few months he'd been back, he and Finn seemed to argue more than agree. It had made everything ten times worse. Thankfully, Alec did a lot of work on his own. They'd struggled to pick out furniture for their home and communicate now that they were around each other constantly. It had reached a point where Alec was seriously concerned that he and Finn couldn't work through their differences to make their relationship work. Finn, being the amazing man he was, had been the one to suggest they do joint therapy. It was where it finally occurred to them that they hadn't actually dealt with their breakup. Ever since, things had been worlds better as they both worked on themselves independently and together.

“Babe stop! I’m trying to cook!” He gasped as Finn ignored his protests to suck what would probably be a bruise on his neck.

“Can’t help it. I like coming home to you. It’s even better when you’re making me food.”

They’d moved in together shortly after the New Year. It was a little faster than Alec had initially planned, but he couldn’t deny the fact that it just felt right. Finn had found a job easily and was able to use his degree in the gym as well. He was probably bringing in more money on a monthly basis than Alec was now. It made money a nonissue. They had more than enough for the house they’d chosen and they settled in quickly. Even Herky seemed to enjoy the bigger place. Alec had never felt this way in his home before. It was like a haven. No matter what kind of day he’d had, every time he returned home, a blanket of calm settled over him.

When Finn was home, it was even better. He didn’t wake up alone anymore. Alec wasn’t returning every day to an empty, cold house to sit by himself and contemplate just how alone he really was. He had Finn now and Herky too! He didn’t regret moving slowly and not living together right away, but now he wondered why he was so scared. They fit together. It was easy. While he didn’t expect a perfect relationship, he had to admit they’d managed to weather things pretty well so far. The sex was a bonus too. Finn wasn’t shy about how attractive he found Alec and that was new also. He had a newfound confidence that he’d never experienced either.

Arms tightened around Alec’s waist and he let his head fall back on Finn’s shoulder. The blond was still busy making his neck a mess of hickeys and he found his hips pushing back without his permission. He set the ladle he’d been using to stir his soup on the stove and reached back to rest his hand on the back of Finn’s head. Fingers on his chin coaxed him into turning his head. A searing kiss nearly made Alec’s knees buckle and stole his breath away.

“How long until this is done?” Finn mumbled against his lips.

“Maybe twenty minutes?”

He heard an annoyed sigh and felt a huff of breath against his neck as Finn untangled them, “Not enough time.”

Alec just shook his head, smiling as the footsteps receded. Having someone hang off him wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever had to deal with. He picked up the ladle and began to stir his soup again. Cooking was not in his repertoire of skills and he was absolutely terrified that he’d mess up tonight’s meal. He wasn’t stressing out at all. No, of course not. It wasn’t as if tonight was the first night they hosted their respective friends and families. (Well, what was left of his anyway) It couldn’t possibly be the first time he ever cooked for a large group. Worrying his lower lip between his teeth, he went over the times in his head again. They’d all arrive around six. He needed to set the table before that, change into something nicer, and finish pulling his mini feast together. That was possible in…45 minutes.

Alec bit down on his lip a bit harder than necessary as he glared at the clock. Why had everything taken him so long? It’d been one mess up after the other. He’d started his day by dropping his toothbrush on the floor. It was not the worst thing that could happen, he had reasoned. Then he’d spilled an entire tumbler of hot coffee all down the front of himself. Mind you, this was just before he’d been about to walk into the grocery store. He was back living at home. People knew him here. Alec had simply tried to ignore the strange looks as he tried to strategically hold his coat around him to hide the huge brown stain on his very white sweater.

Getting frustrated wasn’t going to help in this situation. He could get angry all he wanted, but that wouldn’t make things better and it wouldn’t start his day over as if nothing had ever happened. So he wore his winter coat and baked in the store’s aggressive heat. Did it really need to be set that high? Sure, it was cold outside, but this seemed excessive. Alec pushed his cart along and gave himself a silent pep talk.

It was okay. Things were going to turn out fine. His entire day wasn’t going to continue down this crap slope. No, he’d get his groceries, go home, and then impress both their families with how amazing he was.

While he picked through produce, he tried to figure out why being this way was so important to him. Why fulfilling this role-this domestic role-was at the top of his priority list. Finn didn’t care if he was the perfect little house husband. He was positive that neither his father nor Finn’s family would care either. Rationally, he knew this wasn’t a problem. He knew he had nothing to prove. It was easy to see how irrational he was being. Yes, that acknowledging part was easy. Alec had it down. What he struggled with was the after. Alec could oftentimes identify a flaw in his logic, or an incorrect coping mechanism or expectation set by his anxiety or depression. Then, his brain just carried on. It would gloss over the problem and continue letting him circle the drain until he felt downright insane.

He took a deep breath, realizing that part of the day was over. He’d changed out of the stained, torn sweater. (He’d torn it getting back into his car) He’d managed to cobble together something that looked edible. It smelled good enough anyway. He turned from the stove and begin prepping up the simple store-bought bread he’d serve with his soup.

“Babe!” Finn’s voice nearly scared him out of his skin as the other man came back in the kitchen.

“What? God!” Alec shrieked.

Finn raised an eyebrow and paused halfway to the other man. He tilted his head to the side and his mouth slowly worked down in a frown, “What’s wrong?”

Alec was quick to wipe off whatever expression had been on his face and turned back to prepping the meal. He dutifully ignored Finn walking up behind him and reunited with his ladle to stir a soup that didn’t need stirring. Fingers curled around his hip and at the same time the ladle was snatched from his hand. Finn turned him around slowly, gently, and Alec did everything he could not to look at him. The hand not on his hip rose and a finger pressed under his chin, tipping his it up.

“Alec. What’s going on? You look like you’re about to cry.”

“I’m not gonna cry. Did you get Herky put in one of the spare rooms?” Alec mumbled petulantly, still refusing to meet Finn’s eyes.

“The dog is fine. Baby, everyone’s going to be here soon. I’m not going to have company over if you’re upset.” Both of Finn’s hands cupped his cheeks and Alec let out a sigh. The tension in his shoulders let up and he made himself look at his boyfriend.

“I let myself get overwhelmed and I’m freaking out now.” He muttered under his breath. Admitting it filled him with a crushing shame and he averted his eyes again.

“Come here.” It wasn’t an offer or suggestion. Finn wrapped him in a tight hug and after a few seconds, Alec let his arms come up and wrap around the blond’s neck. Finn’s nose nudged his cheek and a hand rubbed his lower back, “It’s okay. It’s alright babe. You want me to call dinner off?”

Alec shook his head before nuzzling against Finn’s neck. Breathing in deep, he felt a little weird that inhaling Finn’s cologne and natural smell seemed to calm him down far too much. A kiss landed on his forehead and he looked up into big brown eyes. Leaning up as he brought his hands around, Alec brought Finn down for a kiss. As soon as he’d almost calmed all the way down, he caught a whiff of something. Something that nearly sent him spiraling again.

Something was burning.

“Fuck! No, no, no, no!” He gasped as he twisted around and looked frantically between the stove and oven. Where was the damage happening? The easiest thing was to turn off all the heat and pull everything away from it. He made a disgruntled noise as he switched off the stove, and then yanked the oven door down. He almost threw the sheet pan with the bread down on the stove and looked between the pan and pot. Alec could still smell the acrid, burnt, smell and he groaned. The bread looked fine but he poked at it anyway to make sure. When he moved to the pot, he frowned down at the soup. It looked okay too. He stirred it slowly and whined loudly when the ladle exposed that the soup was burnt to the metal underneath.

“Why God? What did I do? Why do bad things happen to good people?” He whined loudly up at the ceiling. Maybe he could just crawl into the oven? That sounded painful. He could walk out and keep walking. Never to return. There were a lot of fields nearby. Sure, they were plowed and the ground was frozen, but that would just make it easier to walk farther.

“What is happening in here?” He jumped at Nina’s worried voice.

“Alec is freaking out because the soup burned.” Finn sighed softly behind him. Nina shouldered Alec aside, surprising him. How was such a tiny woman so strong? He staggered a bit and watched the woman access the soup as she stirred.

“Hi! Hope you don’t mind that we’re a little early! I brought cinnamon rolls and pie!” Maisie announced as she swept into the room with a covered baking sheet. She set it down, tugged Finn down to kiss his cheek and then turned to Alec, “Oh, baby. What is it?”

Alec flinched a little when the older women walked up to him and wrapped him in a tight hug. Nina stepped to the side while Maisie stepped up to the stove, Alec now slightly behind her. Tiny footsteps skidded into the kitchen and a small body collided with Alec’s hip, “Uncle Alec, daddy said I could spend the night if you said it was okay! Is it okay?”

“Grace, Jesus.” He glanced to the side and watched Milo limp into the kitchen. It was quickly growing crowded and Finn slid around to stand next to his brother. He nudged his arm against his brother’s and at first Alec thought he was giving him a hard time. Then Milo winced and leaned more heavily against Finn’s side, “Rug rat. ‘Mere. Don’t stand so close to the stove.”

“Gracie, you were supposed to stay with your dad.” Nina scolded softly, glancing to Milo with a worried expression.

“Daddy was being mean.” Gracie whined loudly and tugged on Alec’s pant leg.

“I told you that you had to ask for permission to stay at someone else’s house. I can’t tell you yes or no Grace Lynn.”

“Alec, honey, you’re worried about this soup? Just switch pots and season it up. No big deal sweetheart.” Maisie said as Nina searched their cabinets until she found a new pot. Alec watched the women work together quickly and Nina tugged him over to help him.

“Uncle Alec!” Grace was nearing toward a tantrum and Alec glanced over. Milo’s hands were braced on the counters and his head was tilted down; his eyes squeezed closed tight.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked, stepping away from the women.

“Just the cold. Messes him up.” Finn explained. He glanced to Alec and then back at his brother. Alec waved him away and Finn subtley slid an arm around Milo’s waist to drag him out of the room, “Milo and I are going to set the table.”

“I’ll help!” Alec jumped when Finn’s father, Lance called out. He came in to drop off a basket with what he assumed were the pies and then followed his sons out.

“Grandpa!” Grace shrieked and darted out of the room.

“Who was that?” Alec swung around and gasped when he saw a familiar idiot.

River’s hair was cut shorter, the sides of his head shaved and the longer hair on top was wavy and dyed a truly obnoxious shade of pink. The bubble gum pink was long gone and Alec wondered if you could see his best friend’s head from outer space. He was wearing loose, bright white overalls with a sheer, black, lace shirt underneath. There was also a high, ruffled collar and cuffs.

“River!” Alec crossed the kitchen quickly and hugged his friend tight.

“Yeah, yeah. Who was that absolute silver fox?” His taller friend mumbled as he pushed him away with a palm on his cheek.

“That’d be Lance, my husband.” Maisie said as she turned.

“Oh, well, damn. Good on ya’.” River grinned, “Did I hear Milo?”

“Yes, River is it?” Nina glanced at Maisie and chuckled.

“In the flesh or…well overalls.” River grinned, pulling at the loose fabric on his thighs and curtsying.

“Nina is Milo’s wife, Riv.” Alec said rolling his eyes as he glanced back to the women, putting the food in a serving bowl and tray.

“Well, I will just bow out then. Y’all are lucky women.” River grinned then stared at Maisie for a moment, “Wait, you’re the Larson matriarch?”

Maisie laughed as she slid oven mitts on her hands to pick up the bowl of soup, “Yes, I suppose?”

River grabbed the hand towel and crossed the kitchen, taking the bowl from Maisie as he bowed his head, a solemn expression on his face, “You should never work a day in your life, milady. The good you’ve done for this world. The gifts you’ve given humankind. You deserve to be placed on the highest of pedestals.”

Nina and Maisie both laughed and they all followed River to the dining room. Alec lagged, rubbing the back of his neck as he smiled softly. Everything was going far better than he’d thought possible. River could be too much for some people, but the Larson family took his eccentricities in stride. The girls had even fixed his dinner. It was okay. It was going to be okay.

“Baby?” He literally ran into Finn when he walked through the kitchen archway.

He looked up at the blond and pulled him down for a quick kiss, “I’m alright.”

“Crisis averted? The food looks and smells great love. Everyone seems to be getting along too.” Finn grinned and Alec wondered how a smile could still shake him to his core. It was like he was a bashful, insecure, little teenager again. He shook his head. He wasn’t though. Alec wasn’t that kid and Finn was his. There wasn’t anything to be shy or insecure about. Instead of freaking out-yet again-he stole another kiss from Finn.

“We should join everyone else.”

Finn’s expression had softened and the love in it made Alec all warm inside, “Yeah, babe. Let’s go. Everyone’s waiting for us.”

Sitting around the huge table, seated right next to the man of his dreams, reality finally slammed into Alec. This was real. River making faces at Gracie, hands held up and fingers wiggling behind his ears while the girl giggled happily. Finn and Milo arguing over a corner cinnamon roll when there were plenty of others left. Maisie, Nina, and Lance discussing how beautiful Alec and Finn’s new home was. He was supposed to be a part of that conversation, but Alec was too busy becoming fully present. This was his life now. He and Finn lived together and he’d never spend another night wondering if every choice he’d ever made was a mistake. Alec would get to fall asleep with Finn wrapped around him tonight. He had been absorbed into the family as soon as he’d been reintroduced. He had parents, a sister and brother, even a niece! Things were even improving with his father. Slowly, but surely. He sat on the other side of Finn and was watching River with a smile. It was all so crazy. Alec wasn’t used to things going so well.

“Ji should be here any second!” River said excitedly and Alec grinned at his friend. River was smiling down at his phone, fingers touching lightly to a thick, gold, Cuban link. It was covered in diamonds, with a gold lock hanging from it. An obvious upgrade from the man who would be joining them soon.

“Ji is your partner?’ Nina asked, smiling brightly.

“Yeah, fiancé.” River wiggled his fingers on his left hand where a thick black band with a row of diamonds in the center sat on his ring finger.

“Oh, that’s beautiful!” Maisie gasped and River held his hand out to display his hand.

“Yeah, beautiful. Finn, you bought a house but you can’t buy Alec a ring?” Milo said, rolling his eyes at his brother. Alec saw the blush rise on Finn’s cheeks and the man shoved his brother’s shoulder.

Alec shook his head and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. It was fading and his roots had grown out quite a bit. It wasn’t the best look, but he kept getting trims and, in a few months, he’d be back to his original brown. He smiled down at his hands and he rested them on the table. It was a decent analogy. He’d keep making small changes until he was healthier and happier. He’d deal with his past traumas one at a time.

The best part was, that he’d have a new support system and River would still be there for him too. A series of voicemails-that he’d thought ruined the life he’d made-had turned his entire world upside down. He’d never say his mother’s death was a good thing, but it had put him on a road to happiness that he’d never imagined. Alec still struggled to believe how much good had happened in such a short amount of time.

Fingers gripped his knee and he looked up to see Finn smiling at him. His eyes were concerned and Alec smiled at him, “I love you.”

Finn grinned and Alec pictured fuzzy ears popping up on his head. The matching tail wagged behind him and Finn’s smiled brightened. He leaned over to kiss Alec’s cheek. Milo said something stupid that made River laugh, but Alec didn’t even hear as his focus stayed on Finn. He realized that he’d fight to keep it that way for the rest of his life no matter what. He’d found his home and family in those big, brown eyes.