I Hate This Town - 37. Chapter 37: House

The nerves were always there. It was a constant struggle. Worries, intrusive thoughts, and regular anxiety had a tight grip on his stomach and lungs. His chest hurt and it seemed he was inches away from crumbling. It wasn’t an option though. Not with Finn slouched in the seat next to him. The blond was fixated on some strange game he was playing on the screen in front of him. Alec didn’t know why he was surprised. Finn could make the best out of any situation. Including being crammed together and stuck on the plane while they waited for it to be their turn to disembark.

The flight hadn’t been a long one, but it’d seemed never-ending because he’d been panicking the entire time. In stark contrast, Finn had fallen asleep soon after they’d taken off. Their first few minutes were made up of Alec’s eyes darting to the other passengers nervously while Finn smashed his face against the small, round window. His eyes were wide and when Alec noticed his excitement, his fears had faded a bit from the forefront of his mind. Finn was so excited. It was endearing and Alec was reminded why he had pictured the man with fuzzy ears and a wagging tail when they were kids.

“Babe look! A baggage cart! I wonder if I can find ours?” He said excitedly.

“Finn, we don’t even know if that’s our baggage cart. There are other planes.” Alec couldn’t help his small smile as the other man stayed pressed against the window.

“Babe we’re moving!” Finn exclaimed as the plane jerked forward.

Alec pictured the tail wagging violently and he shook his head as he rubbed his palm down Finn’s back, “I’m aware.”

Finn turned and tugged Alec closer, sparing him a glance before his attention returned to the window. Alec watched as well. They were speeding up and soon the plane was rising, carrying them up into the clouds. The airport grew smaller and smaller until the plane turned and they left it behind quickly. Finn was nearly vibrating in his seat.

“Finn?” Alec asked softly. He was almost hesitant to interrupt his excitement. The blond turned and grinned. It threw Alec for a loop.

There were moments like this still. Moments where Alec couldn’t believe that Finn was with him. He never could have imagined this outcome when he first planned to return home. This time, he was shifting his entire life in a different direction. Shaking off another bout of anxiety, Alec leaned forward and silenced the remaining negative thoughts with a kiss to Finn’s lips. He smiled at the surprised, dopey smile on the other man’s face and debated another kiss.

“What were you going to ask me?” Finn asked, voice softer than before.

Alec shook his head and made himself focus, “Was your first flight to Washington?”

“Yeah.” Finn smiled, “This is the second time I’ve been on a plane. It’s way better now though.”

Alec rolled his eyes as Finn’s gaze drifted down to his lips. Obliging, he rested his hand lightly on a navy sweater and kissed him again. Alec tilted his head to the side, heat rushing to his cheeks as Finn cupped his face and deepened the kiss into something that was quickly become inappropriate. Pulling back, he raised an eyebrow when Finn caught his hand, holding it to his chest.

“We’re in public.” Alec said.

“So? Maybe this plane is filled with voyeurs. You’ll never know until we give them something to watch.” Finn leered as Alec jerked his hand away.

“Stop it!” Alec laughed and smacked his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Can’t help it. I’m excited.” Finn chuckled, still eyeing Alec in a downright filthy way.

“Yeah?” Alec smiled as he relaxed back into his seat.

“Hell yeah. It’s finally real. You’re coming home. You’re mine. I’ll be able to see you whenever and touch you.” Finn rubbed his cheek, smiling sheepishly, “I’ll be able to wake up to you.”

Alec’s cheeks heated yet again and he shifted so that he could rest his head on the other man’s shoulder, “I’m excited too.”

*

“Through there is the kitchen and to the staircase leads to four of the bedrooms.” Alec nodded, taking the information sheet his realtor handed him as she spoke.

“Four?” Finn squeaked as he stood behind him in the foyer. The ceilings had to be three million feet up and Finn was staring at a railing above them.

“There’s five in total.” The realtor answered, smiling brightly. Alec didn’t blame her. The commission she could make on this house would be major.

“Why do you need five bedrooms?” Finn frowned as Alec wandered into the first room off the entryway.

“This is the formal living room. The basement is finished and they use it as the family room. They have their TV and whatnot down there.” The realtor explained.

“I need a room for my office. I don’t necessarily need two living rooms, however.” Alec said as he continued exploring. There were built-ins along one wall and a fireplace with a thick wooden mantel built in above. It looked like it was simply sealed, showing off the oak’s natural color.

“There are plenty of other things you could use one of them for. Do you have children?” She asked.

Alec nearly choked on spit and turned wide eyes to Finn. The blond chuckled softly, “No, we don’t. This is his house. I won’t be living here.”

“Oh.” Alec watched the woman’s pretty, blue eyes trail down Finn’s figure and then back up. He hadn’t noticed how pretty she was. Dressed smartly in a fitted dress, blond hair swept up into a fancy bun. Her red lipstick made her teeth look unfairly white as she smiled at Finn, looking up at him through her lashes. Demurely. That’s the way Alec would describe it.

“Not yet anyway.” Alec snapped and both looked at him. He let a smile settle on his lips as he and the realtor made eye contact. She visibly straightened and her eyes fell. A sick twist of satisfaction ran through him as she took a step away from Finn.

Finn, oblivious, frowned and the woman shot him an unreadable look before smoothing her hands down her skirt, “Well, if you were to have children in the future, this could be an excellent playroom. Or the basement could be renovated to hold a few more bedrooms. There’s a bathroom downstairs as well.

“How many bathrooms total?” Alec asked as he catalogued flooring he’d have to replace and walls he’d have to repaint.

“Three. One on each floor.” She said behind him.

“Alec, this house is way too big for one person.” Finn frowned as he followed into the huge kitchen. The cabinets were all in a clean white and the countertops were a light tan marble swirled with darker browns and white. The farthest end of the room housed an enormous dining table. Alec let his fingers ghost over the island as he walked further in. There was more than enough room for their families. They’d even be able to host most of their friends as well.

“We’ll look at the upstairs alone.” Alec said as he left the kitchen, pulling Finn along with him by the hand. He didn’t wait for the realtor’s answer as they climbed the stairs.

“You really don’t like it?” He asked as they reached the top.

“It doesn’t matter what I think. Not really. It’s your house.” Finn shrugged.

Alec turned once they’d reached the landing, “Well, I thought…”

“What?” Finn raised an eyebrow, glancing over the railing at the foyer below.

“That we should pick it together for when we, you know, live together. I want you to like the house.” Alec said, running fingers through his hair.

“Oh, you asking me to move in babe?” Finn smirked, stepping closer.

Alec sputtered and shook his head, “No, I already told you it wouldn’t be right away.”

Finn chuckled and stepped past Alec, stopping to peck his cheek as he slid by, “I know. I just like watching you get all flustered. You’re adorable baby.”

“I am a full-grown man. I am not adorable.” Alec frowned as he watched Finn poke his head in what he assumed were the bedrooms one at a time.

Finn turned and walked back toward him and Alec resisted the urge to backpedal. Finn came so close that their chests touched as Finn leaned down, his breath ghosting over Alec’s cheek. Fingers cupped his jaw and murmured in Alec’s ear, “I could use some other words to describe you? Sweet, gorgeous, sexy, tig-“

“Okay!” Alec gasped as he rushed around the other man and into the first bedroom he came to. Pretending to check the closet size, he ignored the footsteps behind him.

He felt more heat flare in his cheeks as Finn nuzzled the back of his neck and wrapped an arm around his stomach, “I like the house, but how are you going to afford this alone?”

“Easily. It’s considerably less expensive than Washington.” Alec shrugged and turned in the light hold, looking up at the blond.

Finn swallowed hard and averted his eyes, “If I were to ever move in here, I don’t think I could pay my fair share of the bills, baby. It’s a lot and with school and everything…”

“I don’t expect you to.” Alec frowned and shifted to force eye contact.

He was frowning and sighed, finally looking down at the shorter man, “What do you mean?”

“I can pay for it by myself.”

“Alec…” Finn stepped back and grimaced. Then Alec was looking at a broad back as the other man left the room without another word.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Finn was on the landing, nearly to the stairs, when Alec managed to snag the sleeve of his shirt, “Finn!”

His shoulders lifted and then dropped heavily before brown eyes met his own, “I’m not looking to live off you, Alec. I don’t want that kind of relationship with anyone, but especially not you.”

“It’s just until you graduate and figure out your plan for after school.” Alec reached out nervously. He was sure that Finn would resist being touched. He didn’t. He watched his palm lay flat on Finn’s chest and stepped closer.

It didn’t matter that they were at the top of the landing and the realtor might see them. He leaned up and placed a kiss to the corner of Finn’s lips. A heavy sigh blew lightly across his lips and then Finn’s head turned and he joined their lips in a real kiss. They traded gentle ones for a few minutes until Alec felt the other man relax. His body was no longer tight with tension. Alec drew nonsensical designs with his fingertips over Finn’s chest and shoulders.

“Let’s leave. We’ll talk about it when we’re alone?” There was a nod and for the second time in twenty minutes, Alec was watching the man’s back. He hurried after him and waved absentmindedly at the realtor. He’d normally apologize for being rude, but there were more important matters that needed to be dealt with. The woman would be fine. Either way she was set to make a buttload of money and if all she had to weather was this, Alec didn’t feel too bad.

They were in the truck and had been driving for roughly ten minutes before he reached across the car to rest his hand on Finn’s thigh, “Are we going to talk about it?”

Finn’s hand rested over his before he linked their fingers and brought the back of Alec’s hand to his lips. He let out a heavy sigh and released Alec so that he could roughly push his fingers through his hair. His other hand was in a tight grip on the top of the steering wheel. When the blond remained silent, Alec settled back in his seat and turned his head to look out the window. He thought he’d been making a lot of improvements mood-wise, but every time he seemed to take a step forward, Finn was taking one back.

Maybe they had rushed this after all? It was a terrifying thought. He’d only been in Iowa a few weeks and he’d been scared ever since his feet had once again stepped onto Midwest soil. Alec knew it was irrational, but the sky looked different here. The air too. He’d lived in a busy city for most of his adult life. Returning to small-town Iowa was a bit jarring. Sure, he’d been here recently for his family drama, but this was different. It’d felt surreal. That this was his life now and he’d be able to share it with Finn.

The only problem was, the longer he stayed here, the more issues he and Finn seemed to be having. He was thankful that he’d decided to live separately, but Finn had insisted they stay together until he found a house. Between his time looking in Washington and his time here, Alec had yet to successfully find somewhere that felt right. He was sure Finn had no issue with the arrangement but being together so much had made it hard for him to commit to looking, let alone buying, almost impossible. Alec had easily admitted that it wasn’t the worse thing. They ate dinner every night together and breakfast in the morning. On weekends he’d join his boyfriend for a run. They even got to wake up together. Also, if Alec was going to be honest, having constant access to a…physical relationship was nice as well.

It could be great. It could also be a trainwreck. Neither was used to living with a partner. Finn was messy. He’d leave clothes all over the bedroom and wet towels on the floor. There was a possibly permanent dusting of pre-workout on the kitchen counters. Alec wasn’t a neat freak or a germaphobe-his depression wouldn’t allow it-but they were too old to live like this!

He found himself growing more and more upset as the drive continued in silence. Alec knew Finn was upset and Finn knew he was. That didn’t make either break the silence, however. Alec had already tried and the petty part of him decided that now it was up to the other man. Which meant nothing was said and they pulled into Finn’s driveway without anything resolved. The doors unlocked and Alec tried to rein in his temper. He stabbed his fingers down on the lock button when Finn went for the handle.

“What’re you doing?” Came a tired, annoyed voice.

“We’re alone. We need to talk about what twisted you up back there.” He unbuckled his seatbelt so he could aim the full brunt of his glare at Finn.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been trying-“ Finn made a frustrated sound. He turned, leaning over to cup Alec’s face to kiss him with so much feeling it made a shiver of want run down the other man’s back.

“I’m trying to figure out why I can’t just be happy about you thinking of a future. With me. I should be ecstatic, but my brain keeps insisting it’s all wrong. It’s my job to take care of you. Not the other way around. I don’t want you financially supporting me.”

“Finn, I didn’t mean it as a permanent thing. Just until you get on your feet and you’re in a more comfortable place. That’s all. If you want me to buy a house alone and we can do it again later, together, that’s fine. I was just thinking if we ever decide we want ki-more, more room, uh, we’ll have it.”

Finn had been looking to the side, but when Alec stumbled through his sentence, brown eyes snapped to Alec’s, “You want kids with me? You want to have a real family?”

“First things first, you don’t need kids to have a ‘real’ family. Secondly, I guess I thought…You seem like someone who wants them.” Alec shrugged, cursing the lava-like heat simmering below the surface of his cheeks.

“Of course I do. With you. Only you. You’ve always been the only person I’ve wanted something like that with. I didn’t think you’d want them though, so I’d resigned myself to having the perfect partner and never having that specific blessing. You will always be more than I could’ve ever hoped for.”

Alec blinked rapidly to fight back a surge of tears that had come on suddenly and unlocked the doors. He opened his and hopped down before Finn could react. Making his way to the door, he could hear heavy footsteps chasing after him and darted into the house. Trying to make a quick escape, he was thwarted by Herky. The dog was overjoyed to see him and needed to pass on the wealth of love in his stocky body right that moment. In doing so, the very good boy kept blocking Alec when he tried to go around. Hands dropped on his shoulders and in a quick movement, his back was against the front door with Finn leaning against him, forearm resting on the wood above Alec’s head.

“Where you going?”

“The stuff you say! It’s so embarrassing!” Alec gasped as he considered the possibility of dying from embarrassment. Finn was incredibly good at throwing him off balance. He never knew quite how to combat the man’s honest, open declarations of love. As adults it’d only grown worse.

“I have to say it! How else would you know how I feel?” Finn laughed and Alec squirmed around him, shoving at his chest before stomping to the bedroom.

He left the door open on purpose and Finn followed. Herky was right behind his owner. Alec flopped down with a huff and squeezed his eyes closed. He ignored the bed dipping behind him. He shook off the squirming feeling in his stomach as strong arms wrapped around him tight and pulled him back into a warm chest. Herky climbed on the bed in front of Alec and threw himself down, big fuzzy head on the pillow while Alec ran fingers through dense fur.

“I know that saying it is still weird for you, but Alec, I’m in love with you. It never stopped and I don’t think it ever will. If it embarrasses you that I’m open about that, I’m sorry. I’m not going to stop though. I feel like you never knew where you stood with anyone because of the way your parents treated you. So, I’m going to tell you exactly where you stand in my world. That way you never have to guess.”

“Ugh stop it!” Alec groaned. He was now sure he was going to pass out from all the blood his body needed to survive, being forced to his cheeks.

“Did you know the back of your neck gets red when your face does?” There was a gentle kiss to the back of his neck and Alec petted Herky’s ears.

“We need to talk about the house thing.” He said after a few moments of silence.

Another kiss to the back of his neck and Finn was sighing, “You’re right. We do need to talk about it.”

“You need to be honest about how you feel with me.” Alec added.

“Right again baby. Let’s do it.”

“It’ll be okay. We’ll get through this and it’ll get better.” Alec smiled and snuggled more into the other man.