Life Goes On - 61. Grandpa & Grandson - Out of the closet

February 1992 – September 1993

The four met at an Italian restaurant featuring dishes from Northern Italy. Rich had been told by Dale that Peter and Tom were in a long term relationship and were married to women in a similar situation. While Rich did not understand how this could happen and endure he did not want to pry. He did ask the innocent question, “How did you two meet.”

Tom replied, “We were both in the same class at Pleasant Valley High School but traveled in different social circles. Near the end of the football season our team played Shaker Heights. I was the quarterback and had a good game. We won.”

At this Peter interrupted, “He was not just a quarterback, he was the best quarterback of the league. Being handsome, he was the most popular guy in our class.”

Tom continued telling about getting permission to ride the band bus home since it departed at least an hour before the team bus would go. He had been allowed to leave early as he needed to get home to take his parents to the airport who were going away for a few days. He then told that he sat next to Peter on the bus. Peter the quiet scholarly guy. Their conversation revealed the fact that neither had an interest in girls. “I asked Peter to come to my house the next day to help me study for an algebra test. By the time our bus arrived back in Pleasant Valley we both had feelings toward the other and just used the study time as an excuse. The following day, Sunday, he came to my home. My parents were away. Just let’s say that we became good friends, really good friends. That was the fall of 1955. We have been together for the thirty-eight years since.”

Rich interrupted, “You said you met after the Shaker Heights game in 1955. I was at that game as I played trombone in the Shaker marching band. I was also in my senior year that fall. We have certainly taken different paths since then. It took me almost forty years after high school to find the right guy.”

After dinner as they entered their hotel room Rich told Dale, “That was the most enjoyable dinner party I have ever attended. Thank you for the introduction to two interesting men.” Then he put his arms around Dale, “While I enjoyed the evening with likeminded friends I know our conversation will be more ‘hands on’.” As he said this Rich kneeled and unzipped Dale’s pants.”

As they drove home Peter commented, “Rich sure is hot. All the hiking he told us about must be good for the body. It’s too bad they are in an exclusive relationship. Some group fun would have been great.”

Tom replied, “You dirty old man, it is amazing how much we think alike.” As he said this he reached for and unzipped Peter’s fly. As Peter drove up High Street observers would assume he was alone in the car as Tom had swallowed Peter’s magnum piece. By the time they were home Tom was licking his lips clean.

Dale became obsessed with the relationship of Tom and Peter. Not in a sexual way but an emotional one. He had first met this couple a year earlier. He had had a very enjoyable threesome with Peter and Tom. However that was then and now that he was with Rich he no longer had the desire for casual sex, even with two handsome men such as Tom and Peter. He could not get their relationship out of his mind. They were now in their 50s and had been together since their senior year in high school. What a wonderful and full life they had. While he was very content with his bond with Rich he felt he had missed thirty or more years of being himself. Now he wanted more. But he also wanted his family and his life as he had lived it. He thought about this for a month. Finally he had a long discussion with Rich. While Rich did not approve of his plan he did not share his concern with Dale.

A few days later while he and his wife watched the evening news on TV Dale began, “Loraine, there is something I want to discuss with you. As you know Rich and I have become good friends. Over the past months I have developed romantic feelings toward him and he has returned them. There is no easy way to say this, ‘I am gay’. You and I have had a wonderful life together for over forty years and I do not want to change that. In fact when you look at our many divorced friends we are a very loving couple and I want it to stay that way. I enjoy being with Rich and I hope to spend more time with him. I’m sorry, but that is just the way it is and I wanted to be honest with you.”

His wife was quiet for a while. Then she said, “This is a lot to process. You are a good and respected man and are a wonderful husband. You don’t know how many times girl friends at the country club have told me how lucky I am to have such a handsome and attentive husband. As you know, my friend Margaret’s husband is a louse. She told me that she would not be able to continue living as she does without the help of her shrink. I am not comparing you to her rotten skunk of a husband. Not at all. While you are a good man this is a confusing situation for me. If you don’t mind I will make an appointment to talk to her psychiatrist, a woman. I know who Margaret is seeing as she mentions her name often.”

Dale took his wife’s hand, “I have put you in a terrible situation. If you were to say ‘I want out of this marriage’ I would be devastated but also fully understand. I don’t want you to make any quick decisions. Seeing this person sounds like an excellent idea. Of course you have my full support.”

“If you are going to get into some sort of a friendship with a man I am pleased that you chose Rich. He seems like a good person.”

A week later Loraine told her husband that she had seen Dr. Blum. She was surprised that the psychiatrist did not appear shocked or even surprised with her situation. She would be seeing Dr. Blum every two weeks. The following Sunday there was a farewell brunch following the church service to honor the priest of many years who was retiring. Both Dale and Rich were surprised when Loraine motioned to Rich as he entered the Parish Hall and invited him to sit at their table. She sat between the two men. As her fiend Mabel who had been divorced walked past their table carrying her plateful of food she jokingly comment to Loraine, “I am so jealous, you get to sit between the two handsomest men in the parish.”

Loraine adjusted her schedule spending more time with lady friends. When she told Dale that Mabel had mentioned at a meeting of the ECW (Episcopal Church Women) that she would love to visit Keukenhof Gardens near Amsterdam, the most famous tulip gardens in the world, Dale suggested she consider going. Since he had always planned any complicated trips she had no idea how to organize such an adventure. Dale suggested she invite Mabel to dinner as soon as possible to discuss the trip. The following day he visited a travel agent and got brochures describing tours to Holland and surrounding areas. When Mabel came to dinner two evenings later he led the discussions and the ladies agreed on a two week tour that included the gardens, Amsterdam, and Belgium then ending in Paris. They would depart the second week of April to visit the garden at the height of the tulip season. When Loraine had suggested they invite Rich to dinner with Mabel, Dale nixed it. He told his wife he did not want to give Mabel false hopes about the availability of Rich. He told her that while it was unlikely she was on the prowl inviting two single people to dinner might appear to be an attempt to set them up.

When Dale told Rich about his wife’s trip with Mabel and his not inviting his friend to dinner Rich was very happy. Happy for the time the two would have together while Loraine traveled and happy that he had not been half of a couple with Mabel for the evening. They both laughed when he said, “While I like Mabel as a person, she just ain’t my type.”

While the ladies planned and shopped for their trip to Europe the men planned hiking and backpacking adventures. Rich suggested they purchase a two man tent designed to be carried on backpacking hikes. He explained that having one tent for two men was better than two one man tents. With backpacking weight was extremely important. A good quality two man tent would weigh less than four pounds (1.8 KG) while one man tents of equal quality would weigh about three pounds (1.35 KG) or six pounds (2.7 KG) total for both of them. Then with a grin, “There is no need to explain why sleeping in one tent would be superior to each of us in a separate tent.” Rich then explained that the most important piece of hiking equipment after boots was the sleeping bag. They selected a pair of matching bags with one difference: one was right zip and the other left zip. Dale immediately realized the bags could be separate or zipped together making a double bed. With the thought of a two man tent and bags zipped together he lost all inhibitions about sleeping outside in the wild.

Loraine and Mabel departed on the second Wednesday in April. Dale drove them to Cleveland Hopkins Airport and stayed with them as they checked in and waited at the gate. This would be Loraine’s first long trip without her husband handling all details while traveling. The following Friday Dale stayed overnight at Rich’s. Following a hearty dinner and assembling hiking equipment they had a quick encounter of the best time. They had agreed to limit their fun in the sack as they would be departing early Saturday morning for Mohican State Forest. They planned two days of hiking sleeping one night in the back country.

They were on the trail by 9am and hiked for six hours with frequent breaks. Dale was impressed with both the quality and quantity of the dinner prepared by Rich using the miniature stove. Following dinner they rested leaning against a tree reading. Each had brought a paperback to read: Rich – ‘Into Thin Air’, Mount Everest Disaster; Dale – Tom Clancy’s ‘Sum of All Fears’, a political thriller. The April evening was cool and both were very willing to crawl into their sleeping bags although the sun would not set for another hour. Each wore lightweight long underwear tops and bottoms. With the sleeping bags zippered together they were happily snuggled together. Inside the bags with pants lowered their hands took care of each other. To keep the inside of the bags clean and dry each carefully caught the juice of the other in a bandana. Sucking would have been impossible in the confines of the tent and they did not want to go outside in the open. While there was zero possibility of anyone seeing them the April cool air was not conducive to intimate fun. They used bandannas again in the middle of the night and in the morning after each ventured out to piss. Since they were alone in the forest they could have had an encounter outside but the early morning cold made a trip back to the warmth of the sleeping bags a better choice. While Rich prepared a hearty breakfast Dale went to a nearby stream to rinse out the six cum damp bandanas of various colors. They were then tied to the outside of their backpacks to dry out. They packed up and hiked to the parking lot having followed a circular trail. They were home by 4pm. Each eagerly helped the other shower off the trail grim. Following a simple supper they watched a new porn video Rich had rented for the occasion. He had lost his shyness about rentals and with only minor embarrassment rented a gay tape. They watched ‘Once In a Blue Moon’ staring Toby Ross and other naked hot men doing it in various ways. As expected watching the video resulted in the first encounter of the evening. While watching a fuck scene Rich commented, “How can they do that? It seems that every male porn video has a guy getting it up the ass. Do you suppose men do that in real life?”

Dale was afraid to reveal that he enjoyed being a bottom. Actually what he enjoyed about being a bottom was the pleasure it gave the other guy. When Tad fucked him in Australia Dale’s pleasure was the ecstasy he felt from Tad, not the actual dick in the ass. But he did want to be honest or at least somewhat honest. “I have fucked and been fucked. It is enjoyable. But not as wonderful as just touching and being touched by that special man – YOU. If you want to try it as a top, the guy fucking or bottom, the guy getting fucked I would be willing to share my experience. But being with you is enough for me. If you want to carry it to the next level just ask.” As he spoke Rich was on his knees pulling down Dale’s pants. Rich did not reply or comment. That was fine with Dale.

The following week Rich took Friday off as they planned a two night hike on Baker Trail in Western Pennsylvania, a three hour drive from home. Wednesday evening they packed for the adventure. They had been sleeping together at Rich’s condo most nights since Loraine had departed for Europe. On Thursday morning Dale drove Rich to the Rapid (subway / metro) station. Then that afternoon he picked his friend up at his office and they departed for Pennsylvania. By early evening they arrived at a hostel located on a road where the trail crossed. The sleeping arrangements consisted of a large room with eight bunkbeds. During the hiking season and also during snowmobile and cross country ski season the place was active and reservations were necessary. Rich had called in advance as he was not sure it would be open for hikers yet. They were the only two that Thursday night. The owner told them he had six reservations for the following night. The next morning following a hiker’s breakfast of eggs, sausage, ham, pancakes and yogurt they departed on their three day, two night adventure. Hopefully at mid-day on Sunday they would arrive where the trail crossed a main road about a half mile from a village with a gas station, country store and public telephone. They would call the hostel and the owner would come, pick them up and take them back to their car for a fee of course. The first night they stayed at a trailside camp site that had a lean-to, a rustic three sided shed with a wood floor. That night they did not need tents as they slept protected in the lean-to. Luckily there were no other hikers there so they could zip there sleeping bags together. The next morning Dale needed to wash only four bandanas resulting from their two encounters in the tent. The second night they again found a camp site with a lean-to. The second evening as they set up in the rustic space two other hikers arrived, college students. Not wanting to show their affection for each other they did not zip the bags together. They did place them next to each other. The other two hikers, two guys in their twenties, had personalities as pleasant as their young bodies. Although each pair cooked their own dinners they sat together and discussed life. When Dale mentioned he had traveled in Australia with his grandson and grandson’s friend the hikers were interested in that tripl. They were both scuba divers and were only able to dream about diving along the Great Barrier Reef. While Dale shared many of their adventures he gave no indication of their orientations. He did tell about the drag queens in Alice Spring, the middle of nowhere in the outback. As the boys chuckled over the queens one stood and did a drag imitation using his hands to push up his breasts. The other laughed while saying, “Joe, cool down or these guys will think we’re a couple of pervs.”

Keeping up the banter Dale replied, “Joe, too bad you didn’t pack stiletto heels and a feather boa. You’re prettier than any of those Aussie blokes. If your marketing major at college doesn’t work out you have another career option.” Soon the conversation turned to diving in the Great Barrier Reef and the men never learned if Joe really was a queen. Later In the dark of the night they zipped their bags together, cuddled, kissed, caressed, and more with a very quiet happy ending and two more cum filled bandanas while the young men sleeping about six feet (1.8 m) away at the other side of the lean-to snored.

The next morning Rich and Dale were up before the boys. When Joe emerged from his sleeping bag wearing only boxer briefs he yawned and stretched. His morning woodie was obvious. He walked a short distance into the woods and the two admired his cute ass as a yellow stream was visible between his spread legs. Dale whispered into Rich’s ear, “The first time we hiked together I enjoyed observing your ass while watching the yellow stream between your legs.” Rich whispered back, “You can watch my yellow stream anytime.” As Joe returned his mate crawled out of his bag. Joe did a little dance singing, ‘Let me entertain you, let me make you smile’ while caressing his breast with one hand and his crotch with the other. His buddy rolled his eyes. Joe then dressed and returned to the life of a serious hiker. Later Dale and Rich discussed Joe’s performance. They were fifty / fifty in deciding if he was a future queen or just a macho guy comfortable with his straight identity who enjoyed life.

Soon after noon on Sunday they reached the place where the trail crossed the road and then walked to the gas station and pay phone. The hostel owner picked them up. Following separate showers at the hostel they were on the road. On the way home they stopped at a diner near an exit on I-80 for an unhealthy substantial country style dinner.

Dale met Loraine and Mabel at the airport. Although tired from their flight they could not stop talking about the beauty of the tulips, Paris and everything in between. When they told some of their friends at church about their adventures they were asked to give a presentation at a meeting of the Women’s Group. When Dale mentioned to his wife that Rich had equipment for organizing a slide show she invited him and Mabel to dinner. The ladies were impressed with the final show result that included a professional looking slide show with slides for titles, maps and all the significant sights without being repetitive or boring. Dale was impressed that his man worked so well with the ladies.

June 1992

Not wanting to intrude on Kyle’s family Dale did not attend the young man’s graduation. Kyle had enrolled in the Library Science graduate major at Kent State, Ohio’s only accredited program. During the summer he lived at home while working at his father’s factory and moved into a graduate dorm at KSU in September. He told his parents he was financing his graduate studies with a scholarship, work study earnings and a small student loan. They were unaware that his love’s grandfather was his primary financial support.

That summer the two friends and lovers had a two week backpack hike on the Long Trail in Northern Vermont. While they met hikers of all ages, both male and female, there was never more than just trail conversation. They did not meet any possible future drag queens like Joe to entertain and tease them.

Kyle received frequent letters from his Carson who also sent long letters to his grandfather and short letters to his parents monthly. What Carson did not mention was that he had found a ‘fuck buddy’. One of the other volunteers gladly bottomed for Carson. There was no emotional feelings between the two, just raw sex that both enjoyed.

Kyle soon discovered that an English major did not necessarily prepare him for a library science program. Being the early 1990s his use of computers had been limited to using ‘word perfect’ to write papers. While the internet was available it was not the place one began a research project. At about the same time he started graduate school the use of electronic information systems began replacing traditional methods at libraries for finding information. He found himself immersed in a program that was changing rapidly. Understanding and using computer technology was an important part of his studies. Kyle was a bibliophile, lover of books, not a computer guy. At first he felt overwhelmed with the information technology. He wished his lover, Carson the engineering major, was there to help him. He was not alone in the struggles of understanding new concepts and procedures. Not only were many of his fellow students in the same boat he realized respected professors were also wrestling the new technology while using it in the classroom. His immersion in his studies kept him from constantly thinking of his love thousands of miles away. Since he did not have a car visiting his parents in southern Ohio was difficult. Using the transportation sharing board he found someone driving to Columbus who would take him that far for gas money. His parents then would drive an hour north to Columbus and pick him up for a visit. Visiting Dale in Cleveland was easy as many students with cars went home weekends. If he arranged a ride to anyplace on Cleveland’s east side Grandpa happily picked him up. At least once a month he stayed with his adopted grandparents, Dale and Loraine. Also at least once a month Dale and Rich drove the one hour trip to Kent and took Kyle out to dinner.

The summer of 1993 Kyle completed his graduate studies. In their many letters he and Carson had discussed where they might live. They agreed on the Cleveland area, probably on the east side. Kyle applied for a librarian position in Cleveland Heights. He was hired with a starting date of September 7, the day after the Labor Day holiday. This was one week prior to Carson’s completion of his Peace Corps assignment. Grandpa / Dale told Kyle he would help him find a place for the two to live. Two years earlier the boys had lived with Vlad and Aiden while working in Cleveland the summer prior to Carson’s departure to the Peace Corps. When Dale approached Vlad for suggestions he was told the boys were again welcome to live with him and Aiden until they found something permanent. Then a week later Vlad called with the news that the tenant of the smallest apartment in his building was moving out at the end of November or earlier and the boys could rent that space. Vlad arranged for Kyle to view the apartment that had been occupied by a widow since her husband had passed away twenty-five years earlier. Her daughter had insisted her ninety-six year old mother move into an assisted living facility. Mrs. Simmons graciously gave Kyle a tour of her small, one bedroom apartment. While the place was dark and to Kyle dreary with its heavy drapes and overstuffed furniture he saw potential. After the tour Vlad and Kyle discussed the possible rental. Vlad told the young man that renovations would be made including refinishing the floors, painting and replacement of the kitchen cabinets and appliances. He also told him that although Mrs. Simmons’ lease went to November 30 her daughter had asked if her mother could move out earlier if a space became available where she planned to live. Then Vlad said to Kyle, “I am going to tell you a secret that the tenants in only one other apartment know. I have told Lee and Owen that I am the owner of this building. The management company handles all interactions with the tenants. I don’t want the people living here to know that I am the owner as I do not want someone knocking on my door to answer complaints about snow removal, landscaping, burned out light bulbs in the hall, etc. If you and Carson decide to move in here, ‘Welcome to my building’. I have lived in and owned this building for thirty-seven years, since 1956.”

While waiting for the apartment to be ready Kyle moved in with Vlad and Aiden over the Labor Day weekend. A week later Grandpa met Carson at Cleveland Hopkins Airport. While Kyle really wanted to meet his love he had only been working a week and did not believe it was appropriate for a new employee to ask for time off. Much to the consternation of Carson’s parents Grandpa took the young man directly to Vlad’s apartment. An hour later Kyle returned from work. Following a light supper prepared by Aiden the two went to their room where they talked and reunited most of the night. A very tired but happy Kyle reluctantly departed for work the following morning. Carson went to his parent’s home as soon as Kyle left for work. He spent the day with his mother and then both parents when his father arrived home early in the afternoon. His mother and father could not understand why their son did not want to sleep in his own comfortable bed. They were still clueless about his true relationship with Kyle. He was back in bed with his love by 8pm. The next day he again returned home and packed clothes and personal items he would need in his new home. Mrs. Simmons’ daughter had called the management company and told them her mother would be moving out at the end of September. Vlad told the boys after Mrs. Simmons moved it would be at least a week before they could move into the clean and renovated apartment.

Carson felt he should come out to his parents. He considered the possibility that they or at least his father would totally reject him. Now that he was no longer living in their home and was financially independent the physical aspect of his life would not change if he were scorned. Emotionally he now had full support of friends and his grandfather who he felt closer to than his parents. The last weekend in September he visited them all day Saturday. At dinner that evening he announced. “Mom, Dad, I have something import to me to share with you. I am gay. This is not just a passing fancy. I am twenty-five years old and have known since elementary school that I felt different.”

His mother interrupted, “What do you mean? You are Gay? I do not understand what you are saying.”

His father spoke, “It means our son likes boys, not girls. It means he will never get married. It means we will never have grandchildren. It means that when our friends find out they will thing we are defective parents. It means that we somehow screwed up in bringing him up. It means people will be making snide comments behind our backs like ‘Did you know the Saugens raised a queer.”

While mother sat with a dumbfounded expression on her face and father had rage in his eyes Carson continued, “I have researched the situation. Five to ten percent of people are born gay. It’s like having red or brown hair, blue or brown eyes, being right handed or left handed, it is just the way some of us were created. I brought you two books and a pamphlet that might answer your questions. I suggest you discuss this with Father Thompson if you need spiritual guidance. The Episcopal Church has accepted gay as equals since the 1970s. Grandpa has known and fully accepted me since before we went to Australia. Also Kyle and I have developed a strong relationship since we met about three years ago. Our friendship was not diminished while I was away with the Peace Corps. As you know we are moving into our own apartment in a couple of weeks. We will move in not as just roommates sharing the rent but as partners and lovers. Please think about this. I’m going back home now. I’ll see you at dinner tomorrow.”

At 9:00 the following morning, Sunday, there was a knock on the bedroom door of Carson and Kyle. Vlad told Carson his father was on the phone. Carson answered and his father said, “Your mother and I hope you and your friend Kyle will be able to come over for dinner today. How about 1:00?”