Life Goes On - 28. Henry’s Life Goes On

The three previous chapters related the adventures of young PT Smith and David Winkler from 1973 to 1976 and the Smith and Kowalski families’ reaction to the welcoming announcement of the Episcopal Church of the USA. This chapter returns to 1973 to tell about Henry’s life after the death of his lover, Seth.

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In 1973 when Henry returned from his trip to attend Seth’s Memorial Service in Muddy Creek, Georgia, the visit with his family in Daisyville and the enjoyable stay with Rob, Jacob, Rachel and Andrzej in Washington, Vlad and Aiden invited him to stay with them for a few nights. The few nights turned into weeks. Henry was overwhelmed from the loss of his lover, Seth. He returned from his trip south just two weeks prior to the beginning of the school year. The time he had spent traveling was normally when he would do final plans for teaching his junior high English students. With his immediate involvement in class preparation taking over his time for grief he was concerned that once school started he would have time to dwell on his loss. In the newspaper he read a listing of classes offered at Cleveland State University and noted that a junior (3^rd) year course for English majors was offered at night. The course, Modern American Literature, covered the period between World Wars I and II. While he had taken similar courses years earlier he decided any college course would keep him occupied and hopefully give him less time to morn Seth. He signed up for the course which met one night a week for three hours.

Being an evening class the fifteen students included both undergraduate English majors and others, mostly adults, with a special interest in literature. The course syllabus included a list of books that would be discussed with a different one covered each week. Professor Stevens was truly interested in the subject and was an insightful interesting person to listen to. The class discussions were lively and sometimes heated. One evening in late October as Henry sat in the living room at Vlad and Aiden’s apartment reading the current book, Brave New World by Aldus Huxley, the phone rang. Henry was surprised to discover he was speaking to Professor Stevens. The professor had asked for each student to provide their phone number, if they were willing, so he could contact them about class cancellations or other significant matters. The professor told Henry he had fallen and broken his ankle. His lower leg was in a cast and the doctor insisted that he stay off his feet for a week. The professor continued telling Henry that he thought he was one of if not the most interesting and insightful members of the class. He told Henry he had considered either cancelling the class or asking a colleague to cover for him. Then he decided the best option for the class would be for Henry to lead the discussion that week. Henry was dumbfounded and did not know how to reply. Before he could say anything the professor asked him to come to his home for dinner the following evening to discuss the book and go over his lecture before Henry made a decision. Luckily, Henry had read the book years earlier and was already half way through this second reading. He stayed up late and finished it again.

The following day immediately after his classes at the junior high school he drove to the professor’s home in the suburb of Lakewood. An attractive woman of about forty, same age range as the professor, answered the door. She led him to the professor’s study where he sat with his lower leg in a cast resting on a foot stool.

Following a long discussion about the book and a thorough review of the professor’s lecture Henry shared a delightful meal with the family including their two teenage girls. When Henry introduced himself to the class as the instructor for this one evening there was a look of bewilderment on many of the student’s faces. Using the professor’s notes and his personal teaching style he delivered a lecture for about thirty minutes followed by energetic discussion. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on Brave New World. The novel describes life about five hundred years in the future where the citizens are engineered by artificial conception and childhood indoctrination into castes based on needs of society. The discussion that followed which Henry both moderated and enjoyed was finally interrupted when a student stated: “I must leave class now, we are fifteen minutes past regular dismissal time and my ride is waiting for me.” Henry was amazed that the class discussion had been so lively and interesting that he and the other students talked beyond the official class ending time.

A few days later Henry visited the professor to return his material and discuss the activities of the class. Since the professor would soon be able to hobble around but not drive his wife was driving him to the university and picking him up at the end of the day. Henry offered to drive him home after their following class. Thus began a friendship that lasted many years.

Vlad and Aiden graciously and sincerely invited Henry to continue living with them. While he enjoyed their hospitality he still felt a tremendous void without Seth. The first week he shared their king size bed. While they had fun sexual encounters he felt like an outsider and eventually began sleeping in the guest bedroom across the hall. He had six months remaining on his and Seth’s apartment lease and while he could have broken it with some financial loss he continued to pay the rent putting off making a long term decision.

He visited Club Cleveland Baths about once a week. Being a tall, handsome black man with penetrating brown eyes and an impressive in size and shape uncut dick he was the object of desire for an assortment of men. While most of the encounters were erotically enjoyable all seemed to lack any tender feelings. One evening he fucked five different guys. He had tremendous self-control fucking just to the point of no return and then stopping. All five of his conquests shot incredible loads. That night as he laid alone in the bed in the guest room of Vlad’s and Aiden’s home with a very happy but exhausted dick he again had that empty feeling.

His circle of friends helped keep him occupied. While the weekly dinners with Vlad / Aiden and Lee / Owen were a reminder that he was the odd man out Henry did enjoy their company and banter. About every two weeks he visited Roland and Alex. These two friends had both retired and sold their spacious beautifully landscaped home in Shaker Heights. They now lived in an upscale condominium community. While Alex put the final touches on the gourmet meal he enjoyed preparing Henry and Roland discussed books, their favorite topic after sex. Alex also felt a deep loss from Seth’s departure. Seth had been an equal manager in his landscaping business and he had planned to turn the business over to Seth. When Seth died so did Alex’s enthusiasm for the business and he had sold it. Henry had always felt especially close to this handsome Russian. Following dinner and more discussion Henry would accompany the two to their bedroom where he at age 39 gave his friend Alex aged 65 a robust fuck. Alex, a sensuous bottom, enjoyed the appetizer from the younger man to be followed by a long, tender, loving session with his lover, the well-endowed Roland, also age 65. Driving home after the fuck Henry would feel a sense of euphoria having pleased the man who was so important to his lover, Seth, but felt that emptiness having had sex but not a feeling of true love.

Henry decided to go home to Georgia at Christmas. This would be his first holiday visit to his parents since moving north with Seth. By starting from the home of Peter or Tom in Columbus he would cut two and half hours off the drive and hopefully make the long part of the trip in about twelve hours. Following an enjoyable dinner with the Smith and Kowalski families he went to bed early and departed at 4:00 in the morning. He arrived home in Daisyville just as the winter sun was setting.

Surrounded by family and friends he relived the Christmas traditions of years past. When he had mentioned on his Christmas card to Seth’s mother, Mrs. Cudley sent him a short letter asking him to stop for a visit in Muddy Creek. A few days later Henry received a second letter from Seth’s mother. She told him that she had run into Seth’s childhood friend, Wade, at the Piggly Wiggly grocery store and he invited Henry to stay with him or at least stop over for dinner. Henry accepted Wade’s invitation to stay there as he felt he would be more comfortable staying in an apartment building than in a Georgia small town all white neighborhood where everyone knows everyone’s business. During his previous and only visit to Muddy Creek when he was there for Seth’s Memorial Service Henry had met Wade and his partner, Mitch. He had found these handsome men to be interesting, intelligent, good conversationalist and extremely sexy. He was ashamed to admit to himself that he hoped for a roll with the two of them.

After spending five days at his parents’ home in Daisyville he drove to Muddy Creek to visit Seth’s family and Wade. His mother’s home cooking, the Christmas Eve service at his childhood church and the pleasure of seeing relatives that he had not seen for years gave Henry a sense of calm he had not felt since Seth’s death. He had run into Mrs. Crankfit, Uncle Will’s nosey bigoted neighbor, at the post office. When he introduced himself she seemed bewildered that this former yard boy was better dressed and spoke with a voice of intelligence that outclassed any of her family or friends.

The dinner served by Wade and his lover, Mitch, was simply beer and pizza, the same meal served when Henry visited them after Seth’s Memorial Service. After all the rich and plentiful meals served by his mother and Mrs. Cudley this simple meal was welcomed. It indicated the evening was about each other, not the food. Mitch answered a phone call as they shared their pizza. With a worried look on his face Mitch related the content of the call. There had been an accident at the hospital where he was business manager. Chemicals had leaked and at least one staff member may have breathed toxic fumes. Both police and fire emergency crews were on their way. It appeared none of the patients had been affected. Luckily the patient population was low this week between Christmas and New Year’s Day. Since the hospital administrator was visiting family in Colorado Mitch had been given the responsibility of managing the hospital during the administrator’s absence. He quickly departed.

“Mitch will most likely be gone most of the evening if not all night. It is almost a thirty minute drive to the hospital.” Henry thought Wade felt uncomfortable being alone with him as they both had been Seth’s lovers. Seth was Wade’s best friend from the first day of school at the age of six. Gradually their friendship grew from little boy horsing around to big boy sexual experiment leading to loving encounters. Wade was destined to live the rest of his life in Muddy Creek and take over Goodwin’s Chevrolet and Oldsmobile Dealership, the family business. As much as Seth loved Wade he wanted to live in a bigger world, a city such as Atlanta, Washington or in his wildest dreams New York City. Seth had an opportunity for a job in Daisyville and moved there. He considered leaving the comfort of his loving family as his first step in moving to bigger places. In Daisyville he met Henry and they eventually moved to a big city, Cleveland. Wade and Henry had little in common other than their love for Seth. Wanting to break the ice Henry asked Wade if he had pictures of Seth and him as little boys and in high school. Wade got out a box of old photos and sat next to Henry at the kitchen table as he described the background of each photo. As Henry reached for one of the photos held by Wade their hands touched. Neither moved their hand away.

Henry looked at Wade and said, “I think our mutual memories of Seth are bringing back deep emotions.”

“They sure are,” Wade said as he caressed Henry’s hand.

They were now staring at each other. Henry wondered if Wade could hear his heart beating. Henry reached with his free hand and caressed Wade’s hand. Henry thought to himself, ‘I am totally sexually aroused yet my dick is soft.’ Wade placed his free hand on Henry’s cheek. They both leaned in and their noses were touching. Henry was no longer soft. Their lips touched. Their mouths opened. Each tongues began an exploration of the other’s.

Wade moved back and whispered, “Don’t worry about a betrayal of Mitch if we move to the next step. After our visit last summer following Seth’s Memorial Service Mitch commented on how sexy you were. This afternoon before you arrived he speculated about the possibility of our getting to know each other better, much better. So if he returns and we are getting to know each other very much better he will not be surprised. I know he would want to join in. It has been a long day for both of us. I suggest we take a shower to as they say, ‘break the ice’. Wade led the very compliant Henry to the bathroom. The two men helped each other remove their clothes. Being about the same height they stood eye to eye as their rock hard dicks greeted each other. Henry’s natural black piece was equal in length to Mitch’s all American cut dick but fuller in girth. Mitch kneeled and inspected the ebony beauty. “Don’t see many uncut ones around here. I know a natural one has a special essence. I want to savor it without tasting soap.” He pushed the skin back totally exposing the pink head. He sniffed and then licked it. Pulling the skin forward he inserted his finger into the skin hole and massaged the covered head. Pulling his finger out he put it to his nose and then licked it. He then opened his mouth swallowing the skin covered head. Moving his lips forward he moved down the shaft until the now uncovered head touched the back of his throat. Releasing the dick from his lips he inspected the precum oozing out of Henry’s happy dick. Squeezing the shaft he rubbed the juice around the head and then pulled the skin over it. Pushing the skin back he admired the glistening crown. He then leaned in and tasted the essence of man. Realizing things were moving too fast Henry reached under Wades arm pits and gently pulled him up. The two men stood facing each other, not touching physically while each felt a rush of emotions sweeping their bodies. Wade broke the ice saying, “If you so much as touch my dick with your dick head or a finger it will respond with a blast. I suggest we take a cold shower to cool off.”

“Agreed,” Henry replied.

The two stepped into the bathtub / shower. After Henry soaped a washcloth he began gently rubbing Wade’s chest concentrating on the nipples. He washed each arm and finger, doing each individual finger erotically. Raising Wade’s arms he washed the neatly trimmed pits. Then turning Wade around he massaged the strong back with the soaped wash cloth moving down to the ass cheeks and hole. As he reached from behind to wash the hard cum dripping dick Wade pushed his hand away. “Better let me do that.”

Wade then turned around and taking a wash cloth erotically cleansed Henry avoiding the dick. Stepping out of the tub the two dried each other. Suddenly Wade grabbed the back of Henry’s head and pulled him into a deep kiss. As their tongues responded to each other so did the dicks. With a mind of its own Wade’s piece could wait not longer. Without being touched it suddenly erupted spewing cum onto Henry’s dick thatch which dripped over his throbbing manhood. Wade reached down and gently stroked Henry’s which needed little encouragement to unload onto his friend.

A shaking Wade whispered, “Sorry, I could not wait.”

Henry, “Nothing to be sorry for. Being with a man like you I am sure I will be ready, willing and able for more in a couple of minutes.” Never were truer words spoken. By the time each dick had been wiped clean and dried by the other each was again rock hard. Having defused the need for immediate relief the two had a long tender session in bed concluding with each savoring the juice of the other. As the two laid wrapped together in a quiet peaceful post cumming state Henry thought to himself, ‘This is the first time I have made love since I lost Seth. Sex with Vlad, Aiden, Alex, Roland and numerous faceless partners at the baths was fun and satisfying for the moment, but there was never an emotional feeling beyond making my dick happy. This man, the original love of my love Seth, has connected with my body from head to toe, not just my dick. I thought I would never have these feelings again. Now I know it is possible. Thank heaven he will be out of my life in a couple of days or I would be tortured by the thought of not having him totally.’

Henry’s thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Wade answered and after a short conversation which included the comment, ‘I have gotten to know our guest very well. I am sure you and he will be very happy to get to know each other better’, he hung up. “Obviously that was Mitch. The situation at the hospital is under control and he should be home in less than an hour. Hopefully that will give us time for our bodies and dicks to rejuvenate to greet Mitch.” While saying that Wade reached for Henry’s soft, exhausted piece which began to respond to the touch. “Not yet big boy. Let’s get our minds off sex and watch TV.”

When Mitch arrived home the two wearing robes were sitting, one on the sofa and the other in an easy chair, watching the cowboy TV show Bonanza. Wade had told Henry that he could not sit close to him as they both needed to save themselves for Mitch.

Within a minute of Mitch’s arrival they were all naked in the bedroom. Henry was shoved onto the bed on his back. Mitch ordered him not to move as he and Wade began an exploration of the black man’s stunning body. With both their lips and fingers each caressed every part of Henry from the top of his head to his toes. Mitch concentrated his investigation on the throbbing, uncut, oozing black masterpiece. When Henry begged him to stop Mitch moved away. Henry soon discovered that Mitch had not moved away for a period of rest but to prepare for the final act. Mitch was holding a tube of K-Y lube. Removing the cap he squeezed a glob onto his finger and lubed his hole. Then Mitch kneeled over Henry. He reached back and placed Henry’s dick against his hole. Slowly he moved back forcing the impressive piece deep into him. If Henry’s dick had not been somewhat sedated by his recent two cummings with Wade he would have discharged immediately into Mitch. As Mitch gyrated over Henry, Wade laid next to him playing with himself, Mitch’s cock and kissing alternately Mitch and Henry. To the delight of Mitch the fuck lasted fifteen minutes until Henry had a powerful and passionate eruption. As soon as Henry deflated and fell out of the happy hole Wade took his place with his love now straddling him. Mitch on his knees impaled by Wade rammed up and down. As Wade unloaded deep into his man he also reached for his hard dick and soon was covered from chest to chin with gobs of cum.

Following individual quick showers the three fell asleep in each other’s arms with Henry placed in the middle.

When Henry woke the bed was empty. After peeing down his morning woodie he found his hosts having breakfast. Following cereal with sliced banana and coffee Wade announced as he cleared the breakfast table, “While we are not usually morning people Mitch would gladly serve dessert.” With that Mitch sat on the edge of the cleared breakfast table and laid back. His robe fell open exposing a rising dick. Wade took a can of Crisco out of the kitchen cabinet and handed it to Henry. “If you are willing Mitch would like to begin the day with a happy moment. Actually two happy moments.” As Mitch leaned back onto the table with his hole exposed Henry needed no further encouragement. Within ten minutes Mitch was walking to the shower with two loads dripping from his sore but very contented hole.

Although it was Saturday morning both Wade and Mitch departed for work, Mitch to the hospital which was lightly staffed this weekend between Christmas and New Year’s Day and Wade to the auto dealership. Henry followed Wade in a loaner car he had been given the previous morning. At Wade’s insistence Henry had dropped off his car to be given a full tune-up, new tires, wipers, brakes adjustments and any other services needed. This was Wade’s gift to his new friend. Henry’s 1970 Chevrolet Malibu was now in perfect running condition. Henry then drove to the Cudley’s home. He and Mama visited Seth’s grave. That afternoon Mama prepared with the help of her daughter a hearty Georgia family dinner. A total of twenty family members including some siblings of Mr. and Mrs., cousins and numerous spouses and children enjoyed a family reunion. Henry was sure he had gained a few pounds during his visit to his mother’s table at his home in Daisyville and the hearty meals at the Cudley’s. Arriving at the apartment Wade and Mitch after his substantial meal they were happy to see Henry for two reasons. First they appreciated the generous portions of leftover food Mama had sent. Henry was laden with ham, sweet potato casserole, homemade rolls, and three desserts: pecan pie. red velvet cake and sweet potato pie. The second reason for their pleasure in seeing Henry was the anticipation of hopefully having another fun filled man to man (or man on man) erotic adventure. As the stuffed Henry watched his friends sample the left overs he also had carnal thoughts. The three hour romp that followed included six fucks of Mitch, three each from Henry and Wade, performed in various positions: on Mitch’s back, doggie style and against the wall. By 10:00 (22:00) they were cuddled together in bed. Sometime in the middle of the night Henry woke to the gyrating of Mitch’s ass against his dick as the two spooned. The aroused Henry easily slipped in. After a few minutes of tranquil uncompleted fucking both men fell asleep with Henry’s dick soon sliding out. At 6:00 Sunday morning as Henry had requested the alarm clock jolted them awake. He would be driving back to Ohio that day. They gathered for breakfast consisting of Mama’s leftovers: ham, rolls, casserole and the three desserts. Once again Wade cleared the breakfast. Mitch happily received a goodbye fuck from Henry and happy morning fuck from his lover.

As Henry drove north in his fine tuned car he thought about his reaction to Wade. When it was just the two of them he was making love to a man he deeply felt for. But when Mitch was added to the encounter it was wonderful, extremely wonderful sex but not with the feeling in the heart he had with just Wade. He pondered if it would have been the same with Vlad or Aiden. Since Seth’s death these two friends had frequently invited him into their bed resulting in great sex but not great emotions. What if it had just been Vlad or just Aiden? Would he have felt love as he had with Wade? He did not plan to pursue that possibility but was greatly satisfied that he was capable of being able to make love not just have good sex. He realized he was capable of feeling love during sex, not just giving his dick pleasure. During an overnight stopover in Columbus he entertained Tom and Peter with the tales of his exploits with Mitch and Wade. He did not tell them about his loving, emotional feelings that he had not felt since the loss of Seth. The discussion took place in the home office where Henry would sleep on the couch. Tom and Peter offered themselves for a happy moment and Henry enjoyed a jerkoff / suck session with his friends, just good sex, no loving emotions. The following morning which was New Year’s Eve day he continued home. He celebrated the coming in of 1974 (and cumming) with his friends: Vlad, Aiden, Owen and Lee.

Having enjoyed the literature classes with Professor Stevens he signed up for the next course, Contemporary American Literature which covered the period from World War II to the present. Each week a different book was discussed at length. Giovanni's Room, a 1956 novel by James Baldwin, was the topic of class the second week of April. The basic premise of this very complicated novel centered on the life of an American young man living in Paris and his feelings, frustrations and relationships with other men including a bartender named Giovanni. The description of gay sex shocked some readers. (In 1999 the book was ranked number two on a list of the best one hundred gay and lesbian novels compiled by The Publishing Triangle.)

While the class discussion started with plot and character development it soon became a conversation of homosexual lifestyle. Henry, usually a vociferous class discussant was conflicted. One student, who Henry had found insightful and knowledgeable about the previous books, commented, “I do not know why we are wasting class time and our precious reading time at home to discuss such filth. These perverts are the dredges of society. If they want to do unnatural sexual acts including sodomy that is their sickness and problem, not something I, as a Christian, want to be exposed to.” As he continued with his vile rant including Biblical references Henry could hold back no longer.

As soon as his rant ended Henry without raising his hand stood. Never had a student stood during class discussion. “Thank you for your candor. Your babbling has pointed out why most homosexual men and women are closeted, meaning have to hide their sexual preference. Who are the gays of the world, of Ohio, of Cleveland? Your brothers and sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, neighbors, teachers, priests, the plumber who repairs you pipes, the clerk at the bakery, your doctor, lawyer or accountant. You do not know who they are as most must hide their identities. You claimed to be a Christian and used Biblical references to support your bigotry. What did Jesus say about such relationships? Nothing, nothing at all. Jesus gave a message of love and acceptance, not hatred as you have babbled. I lam positive that if Jesus said anything about homosexuals he would have accepted them. You quoted Biblical references about being an abomination to have same sex relationships. There are hundreds of prohibitions in the Bible, many of which you ignore, although as you claim you are a Christian you should be aware of them. Some scholars believe the prohibitions of men lying with men resulted in a fear that there were not enough births to sustain and increase the population of Believers. The reasoning was that if a man was satisfied by another man he was not helping create babies. Since a growing problem today is overpopulation maybe that rule no longer applies. Do not use the Bible to support your bigotry. The Bible did not condemn slavery but stated that slaves should be well cared for. You claim to be a Bible reading Christian so you should be aware of the many, that is many, references in the Bible to slavery. These verses do not condemn it, they tell how to care for the slaves. Reread I Timothy 6:1 which states slaves should regard their master as worthy of all honor. Is that the attitude today? That it is OK to have slaves, just be good to them. Do you follow the rules of the Bible on diet restrictions? On what type of cloth should be used in the clothes you wear? I assume not. As a black man I know bigotry. As a black man who grew up in a small rural southern town in Georgia I know how intolerance and narrow-mindedness can destroy lives. I moved north to escape a society where such prejudices were accepted by many, both white and black. I am saddened but not shocked that such ignorance exists around me, even in a classroom of supposedly educated people.”

As Henry sat down Professor Stevens stated, “Thank you for your strong and insightful comments, Mr. Bailey.” While Henry had never come out to the professor he assumed he knew his feelings as he had discussed his friendship with Seth and great loss when the man he had lived with fifteen years met a tragic automobile death. After a period of silence the discussion returned to plot and character development with no reference to sexual encounters of men.

As the students departed Professor Stevens took Henry aside, “Thank you for your insightful comments. Since the purpose of literature is to open minds, not just entertain, you certainly gave a lot for the students to think about including their own prejudices. I could not have said it better. Your one minute of fame resulted in the best lesson anyone could have learned tonight.”

Henry thanked the professor for his understanding. As he stepped into the hall one of the students of the class was waiting for him. This young man of about twenty rarely commented in class. He spoke to Henry, “I think you made a real impression on the class. You certainly spoke words that I have wanted to hear for years. I think I am like the David who ended up in Giovanni’s room. I do not know. I am very conflicted about myself.”

Henry thought to himself, ‘If you think you might be gay, you probably are.’ Out loud he said, “Would you like to explore your feelings further? I have friends who are very open about their sexuality. We often have dinner together. Thursday evening we are meeting at the Hawthorn Restaurant. Would you care to join us? The shy student, Fred, gladly accepted the invitation. Henry gave him directions to the restaurant and they exchanged phone numbers.