Life Goes On - 11. Chapter 11 Letters from Tim

Sunday Evening, June 29, 1969

Dear Peter, Keith and Tom: It has only been a few hours since we said good bye. I have so many things to thank you three for. Most important is enabling to see myself as a normal guy. You three are the first role models I have ever had. To see the loving life you – Peter and Tom live is an inspiration to me. Meeting Keith, a successful and happy executive with a circle of friends makes me now believe that I to can live a fulfilled life. Until I met the three of you I was very unsure of myself, not realizing I could have a happy, meaningful life.

Of course opening my eyes to the joys of man sex was amazing. Never did I believe there were so many like me. As I told you my only previous contact with a man had been ten years ago when I was fifteen. While I enjoyed the encounters with Ash, I felt very isolated from others my age. My parents and church’s comments about the evils of ‘homosexuality’ tore me apart. I attempted to research my feelings at the library. I found nothing that indicated I was normal. While I had many friends at college, both men and women, I never felt close to any of them. Now that I realize a man who seeks other men is not a pervert or a criminal I plan to explore my options.

Keith, Thank you for the list of gay places in New York: bars, theaters and bathhouses. Don’t worry. I will be careful. I plan to look and talk but not touch until I am better aware of the gay community.

I look forward to seeing you all again.

With Love and Affection, Tim

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Tuesday, July 8, 1969

Dear Peter, Keith and Tom: I visited the Everard Bathhouse last Sunday afternoon. I assume being young made me an object of desire. I got up enough nerve to sit in my room with the door open. A steady stream of men – all ages, shapes and colors stopped by. All I would permit was mutual jerking off. A few got aggressive and tried to push my face onto their dicks. I held my ground. Most of them attempted to suck me, again I politely said no. I also participated in groping sessions in both the steam room and sauna. The activities in the big room were also interesting. I did talk to a few men but found no one I really wanted to spend more time with. I did enjoy myself and plan to return.

I had seen an announcement on the bulletin board of my nearby grocery store about a young adult group at the Presbyterian Church just a few blocks from my apartment. Sunday morning I attended the service and then went with a group of ten single men and women in their 20s and 30s to a neighborhood restaurant for Sunday brunch. It was interesting and I had an enjoyable time. I don’t know why I did not do this earlier. They all seemed interested in my life, unfortunately especially some of the girls. I was attracted to two of the guys. Actually after coming home from the baths Sunday I fantasized about one of them, a tall, thin man with amazing brown eyes and a killer smile while jerking off. Do not worry. I will only fantasize, not approach any of them.

…. The letter continued about issues at work…

With Affection & Love, Your Friend – Tim

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Sunday Evening, July 20, 1969

Dear Peter, Keith and Tom: I am limiting myself to one visit to Everard a week. I went Thursday evening. I had the usual touchies / feelies in the steam room and sauna. In the sauna I talked to a young man who I later learned was twenty-two, a graduate student at NYU (New York University), majoring in sociology taking summer courses. He lives in a dorm sharing a room with an art major also taking summer classes. Ralph is from the Philadelphia area and has an undergraduate degree from Temple University. As we talked in the sauna he began playing with his dick. His uncut dick which is smaller than my unimpressive dick was soon hard. Naturally I also got hard. He suggested we go to my room since he only had a locker. I’ll describe his body: 5’ 10” (178 cm), stocky and muscular with no fat, ample hair on chest, arm pits and around dick. I later learned he had played college football. When he stood and walked out of the sauna I noticed the most fetching part of his body: the perfect ass with two hard bubbles. Arriving at my room I shut the door and we sat on the bed. He saw the rubbers Keith had given me and asked if I was a top or bottom. When I replied top he got a big smile on his face. He told me that getting fucked by a handsome young guy was his ultimate desire. I had had many offers to top. This time I was ready. He laid on his back and pleaded for a fuck. Thanks to Keith’s instruction and real live lessons I expertly opened the package and rolled on the rubber. I lubed my dick and squirted lube on his held out hand. He greased his hole and raised his legs as I moved in-between them. I pumped like a seasoned pro as he stroked himself. As I filled the rubber he shouted a cry of pleasure that must have been heard throughout the place. After showers we returned to my room for more conversation and soon another fuck that lasted much longer.

He invited me to visit his dorm room Saturday morning. His roommate was taking an art course that included visits to a different museum each Saturday so we would have total privacy . We met Saturday at a café near his dorm and then went to the room for another fuck. Life is good.

Saturday evening I went to one of the bars on the list of places you gave me Keith. It was interesting. I did talk to a few guys but felt no special connections. The guys with handkerchiefs displayed all had dark blue (fuck) or light blue (suck). Thank God I did not encounter any yellow, brown or red (piss, shit, fist).

This afternoon I went to the theater on Eighth Avenue near Times Square that Peter told me about. After see the activity in the baths the action in the movies was tame and boring. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness the action in the theater was more interesting than on the screen. The two guys in the row in front of me were giving each other blow jobs. An older man sat next to me and immediately grabbed my crotch. Not something I wanted. I was repulsed by the forced action not the age. Keith certainly proved to me that maturity does not hinder great sex, really GREAT sex. The dancers were entertaining and I did stuff a few dollar bills in the socks of guys swinging their dicks in my face. But, as I said before, after visiting the baths I was not impressed. An overall enjoyable visit but will probably not return soon, if ever.

With Affection & Love, Your Friend – Tim

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Sunday, July 27, 1969

Dear Peter, Keith and Tom: I assume one of every man’s fears, gay or straight, is getting caught with his pants down. It happened to me and I am a survivor.

Saturday morning I met Ralph at his dorm. His roommate had departed for class. This week the class was visiting the Whitney Museum of American in the Upper East Side of Manhattan (the museum moved to the West Village in 2015). As soon as we entered the room we undressed each other. Being a hot day I was wearing shorts. Ralph hopped onto the bed on his back and placed a pillow under his inviting ass. Without hesitation I opened and rolled on a rubber and lubed both of us. I teased him by placing my dick at but not into his hole. He begged me to enter. Finally after some playful banter I rammed in as I had seen Peter thrust with force into Keith the night we returned from the baths. Ralph had the same reaction as Keith, a cry out that was a combination of pain and pleasure, mostly pleasure. Just as I began cumming into the rubber the door opened. For some reason Ralph’s roommate who we assumed was on his way uptown with his class had returned to the room. “What the fuck is going on!” he screamed. He then turned around and slammed the door as he retreated. I immediately jumped up and put on my T shirt, shorts and shoes. I shoved my socks into my pockets and ran out of the room.

As soon as I left the dorm I quickly walked to nearby Washington Square Park. As usual on a nice summer day the park was crowded: children playing in the fountain, men playing chess on the park chess tables, people of all ages sitting on benches or strolling. Suddenly I realized I was walking wearing shorts with a cum filled rubber probably sliding off my now soft dick. Then to my horror I remembered that in my haste I had not put on my Fruit of the Loom white underwear briefs. The rubber was certainly going to fall off and slide down my leg probably leaving a trail of cum. I saw an empty space at one of the crowded park benches and sat while anguishing over what I should do. The person next to me got up and left part of the New York Times on the seat. I took the paper and held it in my lap pretending to read. I had a dark blue handkerchief (the fucking color) in my pocket. I had not had the nerve to display it yet. I took the hanky out and holding the newspaper in my lap reached up the leg of my shorts and found the rubber. With the newspaper hiding my lap I started to pull out the rubber. Just as you think things cannot get worse, they often do. As I started to wrap the cum filled rubber in the handkerchief hidden by the newspaper something hit my foot. A ball had rolled up against my shoe. A boy of about four years of age ran up to me to retrieve his ball. As he got close to me he tripped and fell into my lap. His father ran over to rescue him and apologize. In the confusion I quickly wrapped the rubber with one hand while picking up the ball with the other. Then I dropped the handkerchief and contents. The little boy leaned over as he said, “You dropped this.” As he started to pick up my rubber filled hanky, I grabbed it before he did, patted him on the head and told the father, “No problem, cute little kid.” By now the hanky was damp from leaking cum. I was tempted to throw it in a trash can but I did not want to lose the dark blue fuckers hanky so I kept it in the folded newspaper and went home.

Ralph called me at my apartment that afternoon. When his roommate had arrived at his class there was a note on the board that the professor was unable to meet with them and that they should visit the museum on their own sometime before the next Saturday. About ten minutes after I ran out the roommate had returned. Ralph had no idea what to do or say. As soon as his roommate entered the room he said, “If you want to be fucked, I’ll fuck you. Last night I came home with a worse case of blue balls (pain from excessive making out with no actual dick action) than ever. She teased me for two hours. I got her bra off but when I started with her panties she said ‘no’. I didn’t even get my finger down there. When I pushed her hand against my hard dick hidden in my pants she laughed and told me to cool off.” His roommate then dropped his pants and told Ralph to kneel at the edge of the bed. He fucked him from behind in what you called the ‘doggie style’. Ralph told me he assumed his roommate did not want to see his face so he could fantasize about his girlfriend. Ralph admitted that he was glad he could not see his roommate as it made it easier to fantasize about me.

Ralph called me again this morning (Sunday). His roommate had gone out with the same girl Saturday evening. Ralph was sound asleep when he felt someone get in his bed. His roommate had returned after midnight having had a few beers and mumbled, “That bitch got me all horny again. If I cannot have her I’ll have someone who appreciates me.” Ralph told me he did not resist and complied by rolling onto his stomach and offering his ass.

The letter continued with less interesting events of the week.

With Affection & Love, Your Friend – Tim

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Saturday Evening, August 2, 1969

Dear Peter, Keith and Tom: This has been my second wonderful weekend in New York, the first being the time with you. This weekend began with a visit Friday evening to Julius on West 10^th Street. This bar, just around the corner from The Stonewall Inn, was on the list of places Keith gave me. I really do not like going to bars alone. I always order a beer because I do not especially like beer and one bottle will last a long time. I was wearing the standard outfit, Levis and a flannel shirt. I have not yet displayed the dark blue handkerchief that I always carry. A couple of guys talked to me but there was no chemistry and we drifted apart. I did notice a young man about my age that for some reason interested me. He was definitely not a WASP (white Anglo-Saxon Protestant). He was on the other side of the room. I looked at him and he returned the look. Then we both looked away. This happened twice. The third time he smiled. I smiled back. He raised the beer he was holding and I raised mine to him. I walked the ten feet (3+ meters) across the room to him. I felt like I was trudging miles as I approached him with both anticipation and anxiety. He smiled as he said, “Hi, I’m Luis.” As we shook hands and as I introduced myself I felt all tingly.

He asked me if it was my first visit to Julius. I replied that it was and that I really did not enjoy going to bars but did not know another way to meet people. He replied, “Since you are here at Julius I assume that by people you mean men. I know exactly how you feel. I really do not want to be here, but I want to be here. I don’t want to talk to strangers, but here I am talking to you and enjoying it. How can I not want something that I want? I forced myself to come here and would have been totally pissed with myself if I had stayed home and just watched TV.”

I replied, “We certainly have the same feelings.” We were not only talking but also checking each other out. He was truly a beautiful man: maybe a little older than me, my height, dark hair, sparkling brown eyes, skin darker than mine and there was definitely something stuffed in his crotch and I didn’t think it was a sock as I heard some guys did to create a fetching bulge. As I checked him out I had the feeling he was doing the same to me.

Then he suggested, “Let’s get out of here and go someplace quiet where we can talk.” I just looked at him and said, “Sure, great idea.” He suggested a coffee house on Macdougal Street. During the ten minute walk to Caffé Reggio and then also inside the café we shared our stories. He was born in Puerto Rico and came to New York with his parents when he was five. He has two younger brothers, one is married with two children and the other will be a senior in high school this year. His father works in a hospital lab and his mother is the office manager of a small construction company. He received a scholarship to and graduated from Parsons School of Design and works as a graphic designer. He is twenty- seven. While neither of us went into detail about our sexual experiences we did talk about our friendships. We suddenly realized we had talked for two hours. He was surprised that I had been in New York for a year and had not visited some places and areas of the city he considered most interesting. He told me he would like to be my tour guide for a day and asked if I would be interested in a tour of upper Manhattan starting at the Conservatory Garden in Central Park. I gave an enthusiastic ‘yes’. Actually visiting a garden did not sound interesting but I would have said yes to any destination just so I could be with him. We walked to the Lexington Avenue subway and rode together to my stop and he continued on home uptown. We had agreed to meet the following morning at 10:00 at the entrance to the garden on Fifth Avenue near 105^th Street.

I arrived at the garden fifteen minutes early. Luis was already waiting on a bench near the magnificent gate which I later learned had come from a Vanderbilt Fifth Avenue mansion. Luis jumped up as I approached and we shook hands while starring deeply into each other’s eyes. Our eyes were saying I would very much like to do more than just shake hands but not here in a garden full of people. As we walked through the six acres (24,000 square meters) garden developed in 1937 he told me its history. I was amazed at his knowledge of the trees, shrubs and flowers. It was really a place of beauty with its fountains and landscaping. As we strolled past a public toilet at the back of the garden I told him I needed to piss. While I was disappointed that he did not join me, I was also very relieved that he did not. After our garden tour he told me he was going to show me one of the most amazing and least known places in Manhattan.

As we walked to our next destination we began discussing our travels through the complications of sexual awareness. Our discussion continued throughout the day as we visited interesting places in upper Manhattan. From the garden we walked west about a half mile (.8 km) along winding paths to an area of Central Park known as the ‘North Woods’. Suddenly we were in a forest. I could not believe such a tranquil place existed in Manhattan about a five minute walk from two different subway stations. This wooded area reminded me of the forests where I had played as a child near my home in rural central Pennsylvania. As we walked our hands touched and I was surprised that with no effort we were holding hands. Luis told me he wanted to show me something off the path. We stepped behind a tree and he said, “I want to put my arms around you.” I replied by reaching for him and we were soon embracing. Next our lips touched and then we were deep kissing. He stepped back saying, “Now we have established how we feel about each other. This is not a safe place, even hidden behind a tree, to show our affection. Hopefully we will find a place where we can get to know each other better.”

After the forest we walked up to 110^th Street at the north end of the park and then continued west. Luis suggested we stop at a bakery where he purchased Puerto Rican pastries and two containers of café con leche (sweetened strong coffee with milk prepared in a special way). We sat on a bench outside the bakery enjoying our snack but most important our time together.

We continued our discussion which I will summarize at the end of this letter. Luis suggested our final destination be a Chinese restaurant after visiting a few more places. After the pastry and marvelous coffee we continued our walk soon arriving at The Cathedral Church of St John the Devine. I learned that this Episcopal (Anglican) cathedral is the 5^th largest Christian church in the world. At 230 feet (70 m) it has the longest Gothic nave in the United States. While one could spend hours touring the building we did a quick run through in fifteen minutes.

Our next place of interest was the campus of Columbia University. Thanks to the café con leche both of us needed to relieve ourselves. We used a bathroom in the library which Luis had visited before. There was a student standing at the furthest of four urinals. Luis stepped up to the second and I took my place next to him. There was one open urinal between Luis and the student. The student leaned back and Luis glanced at him. Then Luis turned to me and whispered, he is stroking a hard-on. Since neither Luis nor I wanted to get involved with a stranger we both stood close in to our urinals. It was a major disappointment to me since I would not be able to check out my new friend. He leaned toward me and I leaned back as we pissed together, shoulder to shoulder.

Following the Columbia University tour we walked down Broadway to the restaurant near 113^th Street. (In the 1960s your author shared an apartment on 113^th Street near Broadway and ate at this restaurant.) My Puerto Rican friend guided me through the Chinese menu and forced me to eat only with chop sticks. Never before had I even held a chop stick.

Our conversation about our travels through sexual awareness that had started in Central Park continued.

I told Luis about my first sexual experience when I was fifteen while attending the Christian Bible Camp giving all the details of the joys of being sucked and learning to suck off Ash. Then I told him that after ten years of nothing sexual I accidently shoved my hand against a man in a crowded subway. I continued telling everything that happened during your visit except for the fucking. Luis was amazed about the subway incident. He said, “I have ridden the subway almost every day for the past twenty years and nothing has ever happened of interest. Your friend Peter gets lucky on his first ride. That is not fair”. I concluded my story stating that, “Someday I hoped to be in a relationship like that of Peter and Tom, two young men that have everything especially each other.”

Luis’ history was interesting. At the age of twelve he learned to jerkoff while ‘messing around’ with a group of boys his age and older. One of the boys had pictures of naked women as well as guys fucking women or getting sucked off that they kept hidden for their sessions. One day while four of them were in the basement of their building the janitor caught them. He told them they could use the boiler room if they let him watch. He never touched them or pleasured himself. They would give him money and he would buy them beer and cigarettes. When he was sixteen one of his neighbors, a handsome man of about thirty, invited him to his place. The neighbor offered him rum and coke. The second visit to his neighbor he was shown photos of couples fucking and women sucking guys. While looking at the photos Luis naturally got hard. The neighbor placed his hand on Luis’ crotch and soon they were jerking off together. Within a week they were sucking each other off. The neighbor was married to a pretty woman with big tits. One day she asked him to come into her apartment to help her move some furniture. Short version of a long story, she got him in a corner and rubbed his dick while guiding his hand to her cunt. She was wearing a short dress and no underwear and easily seduced the sixteen year old. For the next month he was fucking the wife when the husband was away and with the husband blowing and getting blown when she was away. One day he was doing her on the bed when the husband returned home from work early. When he walked into the bedroom his comment was, “Are you having fun? Let me watch.” While Luis finished the fuck the husband stripped naked. As soon as Luis shot his load the husband stepped in and told Luis to watch the fun. Later Luis assumed the walking in by the husband had been planned. Until the couple moved away two years later Luis had frequent encounters with her, with him and most often threesomes where the wife would suck one of them off while being fucked by the other. She sometimes asked for a double fuck with the husband on his back fucking her up the ass while she sat on him and Luis fucking her cunt.

He had been in a relationship with someone he met while in college. But after two years it was just sex and no real friendship. He told me the sex was good for the moment but after he had no special feelings. Also while in college he discovered a men’s room where it was possible to get a quick blow job in a stall, again nothing but sex. For the first five years after college he had a sexual dry spell. He started going to gay bars in the hopes of finding something meaningful. A couple of times he had gone home with guys. Once he went home with someone who got rough and wanted to fuck him. Luckily he was strong enough to resist and get out undamaged. Another young guy who took him home was tall, thin and almost hairless with a small cut dick. He asked him to piss on him. While this did interest Luis he decided to make the guy happy. The guy got naked and sat in the bathtub. When Luis started to piss the guy reached up and aimed his dick to his open mouth. The guy drank the piss while jacking himself. At the conclusion Luis jerked off and came into the eager mouth while the other shot his load into the bathtub.

It was interesting that we were both very willing to share our experiences. I don’t think he did anything I wouldn’t do if given the opportunity except for the lady fucking. But doing that as part of a threesome does intrigue me.

Luis continued with some family history. He has two younger brothers, Juan and Tony. Juan, a math and science genius will be a senior in high school this fall and plans to study engineering at university. I told Luis that hopefully someday Juan would meet Peter, my subway groping friend, who is a Professor of Engineering at Ohio State. Tony the middle brother is totally opposite to Juan in personality. He was never a good student and only had one thing on his mind, girls. The three shared a bedroom with Tony and Juan in bunk beds, Tony on top. Luis had a single bed across the small room. Starting when Tony was about thirteen he would come home from a date or just hanging out and immediately jackoff. He didn’t care if his brothers were awake and the lights were still on. Usually it was almost dark in the room with the streetlight giving enough light to see shadows. He would come home, strip to his underwear briefs and get up on his bed, pull out his dick and start jacking. Obviously his brothers knew what he was doing since either the lights were on or the bed would vibrate in the dark. As he jacked he would mumble about the girl that got him all hot and then cum in a Kleenex and throw it in the wastebasket next to the bed. When he stopped jerking a few years later Luis assumed he was getting what he wanted. At the age of seventeen his girlfriend got pregnant. Within a month of the pregnancy announcement they got married and moved in with the girl’s parents. Both parents supported them so they could finish high school. Tony was reluctant to continue school but agreed to since his parents did not hassle him about knocking up his girlfriend. She attended a special program for pregnant girls. The birth of Tony Junior was followed by a little sister ten months later. Then both the mothers sat down with Anita, Tony’s wife and discussed ‘the pill’. She was reluctant to use it because she thought she would be sinning since the Church did not approve of birth control. The parents paid for the pills. Tony now works for the construction company where Luis’ mother is office manager. Actually he is a hard worker and good father and husband.

The fortune cookies served at the end of the meal were very relevant: His - Enjoy the good luck a companion brings you. Mine – If you have something good in your life, don’t let it go.

Luis had told me that he had to be home for a birthday dinner for his grandmother. As he told me he really wanted to get to know me better, under the table he ran his foot up my leg and pressed into my crotch. I grabbed his foot and with a smile said while grinding it into my dick, “And what do you mean by knowing me better.” We both laughed. He asked me if I had ever visited the Cloisters. I admitted that I had never heard of it. He suggested we meet tomorrow morning at 9:00 in the Columbus Circle subway station on the A train uptown platform.

Good night my friends. I will write you again tomorrow evening following our next adventure.

With Affection & Love, Your Friend – Tim