[J. Ross] In Due Time

[PlugInMatty]

Might I just add, J, this story is beyond awesome.

[TalonRider]

No no, you just notice it.

 

It's like police cars. They're everywhere, but you only notice that when you're breaking the law.

Not necessarily, a friend and myself used to drive around and play a game to see who could spot them first. And when you need them, they are rarely around.

[Cynical Romantic]

Cynical Romantic, I meant to thank you when I posted that last chapter, because I think it's thanks in part to you that I actually got it done. I think I tried not to let that crazy woman get to me, but she had me thinking and you sort of...talked me off a ledge or something dramatic like that, so thanks, a lot. And thanks for always being here and being so wonderfully encouraging. I think I have confidence issues; it really is baffling for me that you lot continue to enjoy this and that some of you have actually been here since the beginning and are still here. Here is me, hoping I don't disappoint or crack under the pressure. Or something. Thanks muchly.

 

You're very, very welcome. But I didn't do anything; it was all you. And I'm honoured at the thank you in your "liner notes" for Chapter 11. I'm off to go read it now...

[Cynical Romantic]

Read it. Loved it.

 

There were so many moments that just made this chapter awesome for me. Like Jake's back-story on how Ry got his community service in the first place. What you've said - and more, what you've deliberately left unsaid - really hits the nail on the head in terms of a teenager who would rather be seen as a bad seed than admit to the fact that he's hurting. And it really drives home the point about how great a friendship Jake and Ry have, and how much of a shame it would be if they couldn't get past this, because it seems like they have one of those rare friendships that almost nobody is lucky enough to have, where the people just understand each other without having to spell everything out.

 

Chloe is awesome for just hanging out with Shane and Jake and even trying to not-so-subtly give them their alone time, without making a big thing about either. I get the feeling that Chlo would behave the same way if Jake were straight and had a girlfriend, which tells me that to Chlo, this really is no big deal, which is nice to see.

 

And yes, it's so true that when you want to avoid someone, you see them all the time. Poor Jake. He really is trying to respect Ry's request for space, but it's tough when you're a teenager stuck in a class together.

 

I liked how you finally had Shane assert himself a little, but still in a nice way. I mean, he managed to compliment Jake and tell him how much he liked him while at the same time letting Jake know that he wanted more of the fun stuff and less of the complications. It was artfully done, and made me like Shane even more than I did already.

 

Oh, and yay, Caydence is back!

 

Thanks for such a great new year's present with this chapter.

[Linxe Termoil]

I've only met 4 authors on this site who could keep me up all night reading their stories, and I'm pleased to be able to pronounce you the fifth.

 

Jon

[Guest aquillo]

AHH you have got me dying for the next chapter with caydence. And this whole fight with Ryan has got me irked like you wouldn't believe. But of course, that only means you're doing your job. Thanks for that. I appreciate it.

 

with love,

Alex

[Happiness is Key]

Loved it. Although I expect no less from you J. No Pressure . Incredibly happy to see Caydence, She's the sort of person you wouldnt expect to sit back and not step into the fray.

 

Ah life is good whenever your writing is concerned.

 

Cant wait for the next update, Plus, your little comment before made me happy. I will continue to support you and your work in a not so silent manner.

 

Humble Fan.

 

-MT

[J_Ross]

Jeez, it's barely been a week. It's not really taking Ryan that long. It's just taking me long to write about it. *pets Ryan* Where's the faith?? Lol. I'm finally writing replies... which means I've finished the next chapter... finally. The hardest one yet. I actually grabbed hold of my hair at one point and sort of screamed into a pillow. SO frustrating, I never thought I'd get it done. But it is finally, I just sent it off to Sharon and it was worth the frustration. Here's hoping it was worth the wait for all of y'all.

 

Aaron, It's extremely exciting to hear the word 'proud' in reference to one of my characters. Rewarding, even. The characters are all very real to me, and it's...awesome to hear that others care about them too. I think that Jake lets Ryan call the shots because he feels like he's at fault. I think that part of him still feels as though he's done something 'wrong', so he's letting Ry take advantage of that...seems that way anyway. But then, I have no clue what I'm talking about most days. Thanks for reading, and thanks so much for the kind words.

 

Benji, Yup, it is a 'carry over'. I think the last few chapters have been. And Chloe has been socking it to Ry. We just don't get to see it because Jake isn't around to see it. First person can be a pain in the ass. Thanks for reading!

 

Altimexis, I swear, I saw no balls drop, but I did go out. Just for a little while. The thing is, I had most of this chapter finished for the longest time. I got stuck toward the end and... grr, it was ridiculously hard. I think I beat it, though and for me, it was rewarding to finish. I'm just not sure how it turned out. And... I actually take a lot of heat for the way this story has been going. It's interesting to see the difference in the reviews I get here and the ones I get elsewhere. Readers from nifty (not all, most) all seem to think the story would be a trillion times better without Ryan... or Chloe and a bunch of other things I won't change. I hope I'm not just being stubborn. *sigh* So, thank you. So much. The encouragement and support I get here definitely helps keep me motivated.

 

Conner, I love reading your comments. I feel like I'm walking through the story from the other side and I get to see how the story looks when you don't know what's going to happen next. It kind of makes me think about what I've written and a little bit about what's to come. Thank you so much, for taking the time out to pen it! And Shane lovers make me happy. It seems like most of you are here at GA, but I'm glad you like him. I can't wait until... after chapter 12 when I get to dive into his charcter a bit more.

 

hh5, Ry... goes to himself to work things out, if that makes sense. Conner said it so much better *pout* I'm terrible so I don't think I have, or am capable of getting this to translate, but I tried... and Jake is more important to Ryan than he lets on. As hard as it would be for Jake to lose Ryan... it'd be double...or triple that for Ryan to lose Jake. He keeps a lot inside, but when he does allow himself to 'lean' on others, it's Chloe and Jake he goes to. He doesn't trust anyone else, not even his father, and Jake and Chloe (with a side of Chloe's mom) are really all he has. He knows that and I don't think he'd be all to willing to give either of them up. I TRIED to inject that into the story all over the place, but it hasn't worked. I fail. It happens. Thanks so much for reading and for the kind words!

 

Talon Rider, Lol, I'd hoped that wasn't to much of a cliche to have in the story, but it was rather predictable. *shrug* Thanks for reading!

 

kfried1, Thank you! I was nervous about including that little side story and I wasn't sure if it worked... or if it just made the scene awkward and hard to follow. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

 

corvus, It's intimdating when writers I know and admire, like yourself and others around here, read what I write. Irrational? Possibly, but it's true. I'm glad you like it, though. Thanks so much. And I definitely don't mind the different judgements on Ry and Chlo. It's exciting to see people actually talking about characters I've written. And anything is better than telling me, 'eck, get rid of them, they suck and they're ruining the story' which *cringe* is kind of heartbreaking, loath as I am to admit it. *shrug* I grin and bear. Or something.

 

And...about Caydence, because more than one... more than three, even have asked. She's in the next chapter, but she's not a character that I can include too often. She... started off as a joke. I love writing her, but trust me, she really is insane (she's the character most like me...not completely, but still) and too much will get exhausting. You'll see. I'm sure you'll all have had enough of her after this next chapter.

 

Brabbit, I live to serve. Glad I could help you...uhm...ring in the New Year. *sigh* I'm bad with expression -phrase things. I'm just glad you liked it. And that you're still around. I love new readers, but it's really rewarding to see people coming back and I always grin when I recognize a name. It's... shocking with this story that I keep seeing the same ones. So, thanks! And feel free to sock one to Ry, but I promise, he beats himself up daily for his crap. He just can't help it. More soon and I hope you continue to enjoy.

 

york366, Oh, thank you! I had a lot of fun writing the scene with Shane, Chloe, and Jake, even if it was a short one. I almost didn't include it because I felt it kind of... took away from the fight with Ryan, but... I added a few things that I hoped helped with that. Anyhow, it was one of my favorites to write, because of Chloe. I keep wanting to write more of her, but I'm waiting for a place where it'll really work. *shrug* In any case, I'm thrilled you enjoyed that scene. And the uhm...inability to speak thing is annoying to write. I've wanted to give it up so many times but it just won't quit at this point. It feels almost out of character to have them just be completely okay with having a conversation. Fail, on my part, from now on, I'm writing characters that are at least semi-comfortable with serious conversation.

 

Sandra, I grin every time someone calls this a New Years treat. Lol, I'm glad you liked it. And I'm so glad that all of you are so patient. This has been taking me forever, I'm so sorry. And... Lol, at first glance...and second and third glance, I could have sworn it said 'country' and not 'county' and I was all...'wtf, they couldn't pay me enough'. And then I was all thrown when you said 'which is quite small'. Lol, I need to get online in the daytime when I can actually function well enough to read properly more often. Your job sounds interesting, btw. I'd ask what it is you have to do, but I can look it up. I think. I'll try anyway. Any questions I ask are going to be ridiculous ones so, yeah, looking it up is probably best...

 

PluginMatty, Thank you, Matty. YOU are beyond awesome!

 

Cyn, Ryan, while he's probably one of my favorites, is definitely the most difficult to write. There's a lot about him that I want y'all to know, but I'm having trouble putting it into the story. Unless he says it or Chloe or Jake, there's no way it's going to be there. And since he is a character that holds a lot in, there's no way he's saying it. And right now, Jake's having such a hard time understanding him, there's no way I can write him 'saying' it. I'm not making sense now. Anyway, the point is, I love that you...and someone else (Conner, I think) understand certain things about him that I'm trying my best to get across. And the friendship between the two of them is one of the reasons I wanted to write this so, YAY! You are full of win. It makes all the work and the pushing that I do worth it to see that some of it pays off. And for you and others like you that don't hate Shane... more of him soon. Like chapter 13 soon. I've been DYING to give his character a little more depth. I'm so excited.

 

Jon, Oh, wow...thank you! I'm so glad. I aim to make insomniacs out of the lot of you. Lol Seriously, though, I'm so glad you liked this that much.

 

Alex, It's amazing how you guys thank me. *shakes head* Thank YOU for reading. I don't deserve thanks for something that I do because I can't help it. YOU guys deserve the thanks. And, Lol, I swear you all are going to hate me and Caydence once you've finished the next chapter. *sigh* I hope you enjoye it anyway, thanks so much for commenting.

 

Matt, Yay! I'm glad you liked it (my comment and the chapter). It's only fair because your comments always make me smile. And there's always pressure, but that's okay. There are meds for this sort of stress. Lol, j/k.

 

Thank you all for reading, and for the support and encouragement. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! More soon (hopefully)!

 

Jordan

Edited January 16, 2009 by J.Ross

[Jaydee]

lovely. just... lovely.

 

I am very impressed with the overall character development. Especially around Ryan and Caydence. I think that Ryan has been built up into a very complicated character to deal with and in order to understand or 'unravel' him for the readers you really have to give a lot more insight into why he is so angry. I think that is the main theme at this point. It is a very powerful question, because it is at the heart of what is wrong with 'regular' society not really accepting gays, except on TV and from a distance.

I really like the way you are approaching this. My impression is that you are taking regular Joe's (Ryan and Jake) as well as the 'smarter' people (Chloe, Caydence and Shane) and really probing at their thought processes. Caydence is the pure one who might never have even thought being gay is really 'different' at all. Chloe is the smart one who logically deduced that being gay is perfectly fine when she was in the heat of the moment. Shane is the gay one that came to terms with it rationally and probably quickly. Jake is the regular gay one that had to accept it kicking and screaming, because he himself would be just as moronic about gays as Ryan is if he wasn't gay... and Ryan, Ryan is the regular straight guy. He is the most interesting one of all, because he isn't logically deducing anything at all. He has feelings and guts and moves on them, just like most people who don't really rationalize their thought processes. We, as the readers, know that he really wants to and is probably going to reach this point of acceptance. But what that acceptance is going to look like, how long it takes and the depth of changes he has to go through as a person really show the extent of the problem we have in the 'regular' straight society...

You've handled Ryan's trials and tribulations really well so far.... for such a simple character, the extent of his turmoil is quite terrifying and completely believable. It's kinda like you can see him trying to force what little rational brain power he has to change his emotions, because he really needs Jake. Maybe it's like reading about someone who has mental constipation.... but in a really powerfully dramatic way!

 

Love it!

 

fyi... I check gayauthors.org every day just for you and i have like no time whatsoever with grad school... I am reading only your story right now.

 

JD

[KJames]

Jordan,

 

Just read all 12 chapters, as a whole, this morning...although I've read one or two as separates before. I think you've managed to capture the teen angst thing really, really well, and it shows in the thought processes you write about--what J' goes through thought-wise are some of the same things I had going on...but without anyone to talk to. And Ryan? I can only imagine that his situation, thoughts and angst are what a "straight" (I hate labels) friend might actually go through when they find out their lifelong best-friend is gay, and has been for several years.

 

Keep up the good work. Yours is one of only a half-dozen story lines I'm following right now...

[Conner]

lovely. just... lovely.

 

I am very impressed with the overall character development. Especially around Ryan and Caydence. I think that Ryan has been built up into a very complicated character to deal with and in order to understand or 'unravel' him for the readers you really have to give a lot more insight into why he is so angry. I think that is the main theme at this point. It is a very powerful question, because it is at the heart of what is wrong with 'regular' society not really accepting gays, except on TV and from a distance.

I really like the way you are approaching this. My impression is that you are taking regular Joe's (Ryan and Jake) as well as the 'smarter' people (Chloe, Caydence and Shane) and really probing at their thought processes. Caydence is the pure one who might never have even thought being gay is really 'different' at all. Chloe is the smart one who logically deduced that being gay is perfectly fine when she was in the heat of the moment. Shane is the gay one that came to terms with it rationally and probably quickly. Jake is the regular gay one that had to accept it kicking and screaming, because he himself would be just as moronic about gays as Ryan is if he wasn't gay... and Ryan, Ryan is the regular straight guy. He is the most interesting one of all, because he isn't logically deducing anything at all. He has feelings and guts and moves on them, just like most people who don't really rationalize their thought processes. We, as the readers, know that he really wants to and is probably going to reach this point of acceptance. But what that acceptance is going to look like, how long it takes and the depth of changes he has to go through as a person really show the extent of the problem we have in the 'regular' straight society...

You've handled Ryan's trials and tribulations really well so far.... for such a simple character, the extent of his turmoil is quite terrifying and completely believable. It's kinda like you can see him trying to force what little rational brain power he has to change his emotions, because he really needs Jake. Maybe it's like reading about someone who has mental constipation.... but in a really powerfully dramatic way!

Love it!

 

fyi... I check gayauthors.org every day just for you and i have like no time whatsoever with grad school... I am reading only your story right now.

 

JD

 

 

Thanks for your analysis, John. I really enjoyed it...especially the line about Ry expressing his mental constipation in a "really powerful dramatic way". I loved it.

 

A thanks to you too, Jordan, for all your comments above (post #108). That gave me a much better insight as to how you, as the author, are trying to take the story. Not too many authors do that.

 

Chapter 12 was excellent! I totally appreciate the angst you went through in writing it, so thanks for that. The dialogue scene with Jake and Ry at the swim meet was just superb. I can say without a doubt that I (finally ) understand Ryan. Maybe I'll post more on that later.

 

Conner

[PlugInMatty]

PluginMatty, Thank you, Matty. YOU are beyond awesome!

 

Preaching to the choir, honey

 

Now, Chapter Twelve. I find it difficult to sit down and read anything in one sitting, but I usually have little trouble getting through a chapter of IDT. Chapter Twelve, though, was a rather painful exception. In the time it took me to finish chapter twelve, I managed to: read the recaps and check the box scores of three NBA games, check CNN and Yahoo!7 for day's news, fiddle around with a new playlist on iTunes, defrost some meat for dinner and begin to cook said meal.

 

Seems boring, doesn't it?

 

Well, Chapter Twelve was anything but. Rather than struggling to hold my attention, chapter twelve was just so painfully real that I couldn't bring myself to keep reading. It took me three or four sittings to get through the whole thing, because it just kept taking me way, way out of my comfort zone. Some of us have been unfortunate enough to have a Ryan in our lives, but to see you capture the emotions so perfectly...

 

Wow.

 

Just wow.

[Benji]

I do believe Ross has managed to give us realism in this pained chapter, Ryan's pain is not being sugar coated as he faces himself. I doubt he will have an easy time coming to terms with his turmoil, it is almost liking for him to find out Santa Clause is not real. Obviously Ryan needs more time to deal with it, a lot more than I would have thought, but he is not giving up either. Somehow Jake sense's this and although not happy, he is relieved to know Ryan just needs time. It is kinda of funny in a way that it is Ryan's problem now, and not Jake's!!

[Jaydee]

Thanks for your analysis, John. I really enjoyed it...especially the line about Ry expressing his mental constipation in a "really powerful dramatic way". I loved it.

 

A thanks to you too, Jordan, for all your comments above (post #108). That gave me a much better insight as to how you, as the author, are trying to take the story. Not too many authors do that.

 

Chapter 12 was excellent! I totally appreciate the angst you went through in writing it, so thanks for that. The dialogue scene with Jake and Ry at the swim meet was just superb. I can say without a doubt that I (finally ) understand Ryan. Maybe I'll post more on that later.

 

Conner

 

awww... thank you Conner. I try. I suppose I could have said something like "It's kinda like trying to fit a square peg through a round hole" but that is less exact than mental constipation. I know it seems a little counter-intuituve at this point, but I think that when Ryan truly accepts Jake, he'll be properly relaxed about the gay thing. I think he'll be making jokes and saying things like "he's cute" when he's walking with Jake. The reason I think this is because that is the only kind of person he can really be if they are going to go back to being as solid as they were as best friends.

Clearly, Ryan is comfortable in his sexuality. And, if and when he really truly 'accepts' Jake he will be right where Chloe is... and she already made that comment like "How does Shane look naked?" or something like that.. that's what I define as accepted and comfortable. Ryan is going to get there... hence, 'mental constipation'.

 

Call me JD.

[Verm]

I really like the way you are approaching this. My impression is that you are taking regular Joe's (Ryan and Jake) as well as the 'smarter' people (Chloe, Caydence and Shane) and really probing at their thought processes. Caydence is the pure one who might never have even thought being gay is really 'different' at all. Chloe is the smart one who logically deduced that being gay is perfectly fine when she was in the heat of the moment. Shane is the gay one that came to terms with it rationally and probably quickly. Jake is the regular gay one that had to accept it kicking and screaming, because he himself would be just as moronic about gays as Ryan is if he wasn't gay... and Ryan, Ryan is the regular straight guy. He is the most interesting one of all, because he isn't logically deducing anything at all. He has feelings and guts and moves on them, just like most people who don't really rationalize their thought processes. We, as the readers, know that he really wants to and is probably going to reach this point of acceptance. But what that acceptance is going to look like, how long it takes and the depth of changes he has to go through as a person really show the extent of the problem we have in the 'regular' straight society...

 

 

JD

 

My thoughts exactly. JD summed it up real nice.

[NaperVic]

Hey Jordan,

 

Let me start by saying I've really enjoyed reading In Due Time. You have a writing style that captivates and I feel like I'm right there, in the story.

 

You're not the first that's mentioned that this story is reminiscent of TOU and I'm not really sure yet how to feel about that. I hope that this story takes a different route and I hope it ends up being unique, but it almost feels like I don't get to control where it goes. I do, to a certain extent, but if I try to force it in a certain direction, the characters look at me, laugh and ask 'you want me to do WHAT?'. So, I'm waiting with y'all to see where I take things, but, as much as I like Dom's writing (DD, in particular), I really hope, with respect, that this story is nothing like any of his. I definitely don't mind the nitpicking, btw. Nitpicking helps. So, thank you.

 

While being engrossed in the world you've built in Chapter 12, I couldn't help but pause (or fall out of it a couple times) when my mind found comparisons to things I've read in other stories (The Ordinary Us & The Log Way).

 

In the beginning scene where Caydence was keeping Jake company, it felt similar to the scene in The Ordinary Us where Trina was keeping Quinn company at his house (Ch9-Ch10). While reading it, I thought "hmmm, I wonder if Chloe & Ryan are going to show up (just like Marissa & Brad showed up in TOU - where a heated discussion ensued with Marissa making disparaging comments about Trina)." Then Chloe did show up and had some unpleasantries with Jake & Caydence. I thought "well, it's not the same, only Chloe showed up", but then again, Ryan was there waiting in the car.

 

And then in this scene:

"Come on," she said, grabbing my arm and pulling me through the front door without answering my question. I wondered if she got the dragging thing from Shane or if he got if from her. I guessed the latter. She was much better at it and I was actually trying to resist following her.

 

When reading that, my first thought was that Owen had that same observation about Aiden in TLW. Here's the actual scene in TLW Ch 4:

"That's how long the movie is." Janie replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Now come on!" I don't think Adam or I could wipe the amused looks off our faces as Janie dragged a complaining Aiden away by the arm. I wondered if that was where he got the arm-grabbing thing from. I was still watching after him when he looked back at me, smiled, and waved as he followed the rest of the group into the theater.

 

And then this...

"Jake," Ry snapped, standing up, staring at me, determined. "Stop being such a f**king girl, okay? We don't do this. This

[Jaydee]

Thanks Verm!!

 

hmm... I haven't read those other stories, but I did have a quick skim of Ch1 of The Ordinary Us and I agree there are strong similarities in content. But I really don't think there is anything wrong with taking a concept for a story and putting your own spin on it. I've read these same scenarios in loads and loads of other stories, but handled in different ways. So it doesn't bother me to see Jordan's take on the whole thing. That's why writing is more of an art than a science. The style is definitely very distinct and it is the style of the story more than the content that is enthralling me.

Edited January 17, 2009 by John Dorian

[J_Ross]

I don't normally do replies until I've finished the next chapter and shipped it off, but I do want to say this...

 

I was hesitant at first to let you know about this (I don't want you second guessing your own writing), but I do hope you find this feedback helpful.

I do find it helpful, very much so. Don't hold back, I've got a fairly thick skin. Also, while I've been writing for quite awhile, this would be my first novel-length original. It's not the first I've written, but it's the first I've posted because I'd been terrified out of my wits. I know I'm not the greatest with quite a few things (plot developement, characterizations, etc) so I wrote this one to...learn. To try my hand at new things instead of falling back on what I know I'm good at. All of my other writing stayed firmly in my comfort zone and I wanted to try something new, and see if I could...get better.

 

I do have a point. I'm finding it. I think it's that hearing what y'all have had to say (everywhere, not just here) helps me learn. Even if it's hard to hear... I'd like to. There is a lot, with my own writing, that I don't see. To have it brought up by you guys, gets me to take a look at it. There have been a lot of things people haven't liked about the story. And aside from my very first and so far only flame *knocks wood* knowing about them is really helpful. I can take it, and hopefully learn from it for my next shot. Even if it is hard to hear. I'll always be grateful for it. So thank you. Honestly.

 

And...the only reason that this was hard to 'hear' was because of how long and hard I worked on this chapter. It was definitely exhausting and frustrating and more than once I just wanted to shove it away or cop out with a very heartfelt "I can't do this..." But I went on anyway, and while I wasn't sure the chapter was worth much more than...waste basket lining or something, I was proud of myself for getting through it.

 

Now, though, I find myself stepping back...quite a few steps. I'm not second guessing my writing any more than I normally do, but this really does make me want to kick myself. I cringe thinking about it, honestly. All I can really say is that I noticed none of these things while writing. I never really think about much of anything outside of the characters and what they would/wouldn't do/say and getting to the conclusion while (hopefully) making the ride there entertaining. I don't reference any other work. The way this chapter went in the beginning felt...natural. The characters involved were there more out of a way to keep the plot going than anything else. Caydence was really the only character that could have been there for Jake because she was the only one of the characters I have that witnessed the altercation between Jake and Ryan. Chloe was always going to show up later because...she just always was. I think that I wanted her there to set the... stage, I guess, for the next scene with Ryan and her conversation with Jake was only heated at first and because I felt Jake would feel a certain way after everything that he'd gone through that day and having Chloe say things that she did, would have made him feel attacked. The other lines were 'character' lines, especially the last one. I was thinking about something else when I wrote the quoted line by Ryan. Earlier in the story he said something like 'the talking thing...is for fags. I don't want to do it anymore.' Something like that. I was trying to make it clear that Ryan isn't a vocal person. And that part of the reason he values his friendship with Jake is because Jake never makes him say things like this... usually Jake just 'gets it'. I can't, however, say things like this out-right, because my characters wouldn't.

 

*sigh* So, I've got some thinking to do, but I hope this helps with understanding the events/lines and why they are there. I definitely don't mind criticism, I appreciate it. Thank you, for letting me know (and for bringing examples so that I can understand). This is all so very disturbing because I have no idea how to 'fix' something I'm not aware of...

 

And thanks to the rest of you reading and giving me feed back. Will reply just as soon as I've gotten the next chapter ready...I'm trying to hold back at least. I'm replying to this because I wanted y'all to know, I really don't mind the criticism. A lot of people say that and from my end, I never really believed it until I started posting something of my own. You all really are helping. This, so far, has been quite a learning experience and I'm extremely grateful to all of you that take the time out to tell me your likes/dislikes/concerns. It's definitely appreciated.

 

Oh! And (don't worry, I'll make this quick, I've talked long enough) because I got a rather heated email about this yesterday, which I replied to... but just in case anyone else was having trouble with it... I'm not putting silent readers down when I thank those that speak up here for reading and for helping me out with feedback. In fact, I think I've thanked the silent ones in the notes before. I am 'just grateful' that you're reading and don't demand anything. I'm also not saying that anyone else is better than you. I'm sorry if anything I said could have been taken that way. The feedback I get is invaluable, but I am grateful that anyone reads this continually. I'm just not sure how I'm supposed to respond to someone that hasn't said anything. Thanks just the same for reading.

 

Now, I'm exhausted. More as soon as I can. Of the story I mean, I've had quite enough of my voice...typing voice.

Edited January 17, 2009 by J.Ross

[Jaydee]

I love the story.. I'd have sex with the story if I could. So... don't stop and reflect on anything just yet. Keep doing what you're doing here. Stop and reflect when you finish this one and move onto the next story. Even though there are similarities to other stories, you are filtering a series of events through your own outlook and that is how the characters are developing in their own way. If events made the story, I would just flowchart the 3 or 4 themes that are ever present throughout nifty and gayauthors. You may take bathroom breaks if you wish. I have a big assignment I have to start next week... so you may sleep then for a few hours if you wish.

 

**tapes Jordan's wrists to keyboard**

[Guest aquillo]

Bahhha Caydence had me cracking up the whole time, "'I didn

[Daisy]

Thanks for explaining your thoughts, I quite like the extra insights into the story.

 

About silent readers, I would just ignore that, I don't see how they have any right to send you an angry email, you haven't done anything wrong, at all. You are writing a story, in your voluntary time and posting it for their reading pleasure for free. You have been very courteous all the way through, and very appreciative of every aspect, its certainly been the dominant thing in your tone, its shone through to me every time you wrote something!!! And it's your right as the author to comment how you like and to communicate with people who do discuss your story, it's what this thread is for, what this site is for.

 

I would also say about the similar themes/lines I for now wouldn't worry as already said, just write the story as it comes out. and you sound like everything has a purpose and is thought through. I have read Domluka's work as well, and although I can see similarities when they are pointed out, to me if feels like a different story, because they are different characters, they have different nuanced personalities. Later at the end then you can think through everything and see if there was a reason that it had such similarities by accident, coincidence, or the story lines had infiltrated your sub-concious, or just happened to pick basic characters that as you say developed on their own as you went so you had no choice, or whatever. I am enjoying the story as it is, and you can tell, especially with your responses, how much is going into these chapters. If you feel like it though you could always PM Dom if you can't get it out of your mind for now.

 

But I would encourage you to keep going. I can certainly [empathise] about the pushing through the give up factor. I am doing numerous essays due in next week for my masters degree, and I so want to walk away, it's killing me. And I could too, if I wanted, that's what's frightening. But I'm getting back my confidence, so I'm going to push on.

 

Celia

Edited January 18, 2009 by Smarties

[Benji]

I have to very much agree, a reader that sends out an angry response to your writing bite their tongue. As for any similarities coincidence does play into it! Write on, Ross, you have written an excellent story!!

[Cynical Romantic]

Just wanted to say, keep writing, Jordan. You have a unique voice and well-drawn characters with a lot of depth.

 

As for the similarities to DomLuka, well, I don't think it really matters. I think I mentioned the resemblance to TOU as early as Chapter 1, as did a few other people. Yes, there's a certain resemblance in the story, but really, there are only so many storylines out there - just look at Hollywood movies for evidence. Here, you're writing a pretty classic coming-out tale, and there are as many variations on that theme as there are gay people who've come out. It's not about the story, it's about how it's told. And your voice is very different from DomLuka's and I enjoy both your writing immensely.

 

Another writer friend was saying just the other day how he never reads fiction while he's writing, for fear that he'll be subconsciously influenced. I countered that I disagreed with that; the best thing is to read lots and lots of fiction and hope that you'll learn something or be inspired or just fuse the best of all of it together into your own style.

[Cynical Romantic]

By the way, in case I was too vague or unclear about it in my last post. I loved Chapter 12. I think it was one of the most realistic portrayals I've read in fiction of what it's like for a straight best friend to come to terms with his gay best friend coming out to him. Too many writers tend to overgeneralize or politicize it, like, writing the character with psychotic irrational hatred, or having them come back spouting a bunch of religious quotes. Unlike them, Ry seems real. He's not homophobic, really - I mean, yeah, a little, but that's not why he's having such a hard time dealing with this. He's just upset because he thought he knew his best friend really well, and then he finds out he didn't know something really big about his best friend, and he realises that things have changed between them and in his own way, he's mourning the friendship that was, because now it has to change. They were always an easy, casual threesome - Jake, Chloe and Ryan. Now Jake has Shane, and Ryan and Chloe appear to be shifting the terms of their friendship into perhaps something more, and everything's changing and Ry's just wishing it didn't have to change. Yours are some of the most realistic, multi-layered characters in teen-oriented fiction, and kudos to you for writing them so convincingly.

[J_Ross]

Ignore me. I'm not really here.

 

But, I feel like y'all may have gotten the wrong idea which is typical because I never really say anything the 'right' way...*ahem* I'm NOT going to stop writing this. I love it, all of it. I can even appreciate the 'bad' bits once I'm past them. I'd never just leave this, and not just because I'd feel terribly guilty because I know there are some that are waiting for it. It would drive me crazy to leave this story unfinished, I'd say probably just as much as it would bother anyone else waiting for it. I'd keep writing it even if I weren't posting it...and I'm going to continue to do that as well, promise. It's been taking me around two weeks to finish a chapter... partly because they've gotten longer and partly because they've gotten more difficult, but I'll never just leave a story unfinished. Even now, that story that I started that's sitting there with one chapter...is driving me insane. So much that, while I've started another novel that I'm REALLY excited about, I refuse to post it until both this and that one are complete. And they will be, eventually. Sorry if I gave anyone the wrong idea.

 

Also, just to clarify, it's not how similar the themes/overall storyline are that bothers me. It is a coming out story and there are tons. I'm fairly comfortable with that part. It's the individual lines 'the talking thing' and the arm pulling thing that are bothering me. I don't know how to fix something that's done unintentionally and this is probably going to be something I obsess about because there's no way I'm going to be able to remember every line I've ever read and avoid it. I just wish I could. IMO, this story can't stand against the one it's being compared to (which is why I definitely would have cut these things had I seen them). I wish those smaller things weren't so similar so that this story might possibly stay in another... category, on it's own, or at least away from the...shinier ones that make this one look like crap in comparison. So, I guess, my reasons for being upset are slightly selfish. Lol.

 

*ahem* I'm still not here. Just thought I'd let you all know I'm NOT going to stop writing this until I've finished it. I'm not sure how much my word is worth, but I give it to you.

 

And I promise I won't show up again until thirteen is done. Uhm... it's about three thousand words in. Hopefully, I can get this one out before two more weeks pass. And thank you all, for your support and encouragement. This is part of why I love it here at GA so much. Seriously, thanks...