[J. Ross] In Due Time

[Cynical Romantic]

IMO, this story can't stand against the one it's being compared to (which is why I definitely would have cut these things had I seen them).

 

At risk of getting my Domaholics membership card yanked, I need to respectfully disagree. Your stories are different, but I would contend that IDT is every bit as good - and no, I don't say things like this lightly. In some ways I actually prefer IDT because the characters aren't so infuriating if you know what I mean. In other words, I'd actually enjoy going out for a cup of coffee with Jake, probably not so much with Quinn. But I digress. Both are excellent stories in their own ways, but I can most assuredly say that IDT can stand against pretty much any story published online, and a great deal of those published offline, and hold its own and come out favourably.

 

As for the unconscious similarities, I think they'd only be apparent to someone who went looking for them, and really, you can do that with just about any story.

[NaperVic]

As for the unconscious similarities, I think they'd only be apparent to someone who went looking for them, and really, you can do that with just about any story.

That was not the case for the examples I pointed out.

 

For me, there are certain scenes/lines that I remember from all the stories I've really enjoyed. For example, if I read a story and one of the characters had written his phone number in the dirt to pass on to someone he was interested in, I'd have that similar twitch in the back of my head.

 

And Jordan, thanks for your replies in the thread .

 

Take Care,

 

Vic

[Daisy]

Ignore me. I'm not really here.

 

But, I feel like y'all may have gotten the wrong idea which is typical because I never really say anything the 'right' way...*ahem* I'm NOT going to stop writing this. I love it, all of it. I can even appreciate the 'bad' bits once I'm past them. I'd never just leave this, and not just because I'd feel terribly guilty because I know there are some that are waiting for it. It would drive me crazy to leave this story unfinished, I'd say probably just as much as it would bother anyone else waiting for it. I'd keep writing it even if I weren't posting it...and I'm going to continue to do that as well, promise. It's been taking me around two weeks to finish a chapter... partly because they've gotten longer and partly because they've gotten more difficult, but I'll never just leave a story unfinished. Even now, that story that I started that's sitting there with one chapter...is driving me insane. So much that, while I've started another novel that I'm REALLY excited about, I refuse to post it until both this and that one are complete. And they will be, eventually. Sorry if I gave anyone the wrong idea.

 

Sorry if that was directed at me. I re-read my post, and realised spell-checker had made my miss-spelt empathise into emphasis . changed the sentence quite a bit. i was just rambling about how hard I'm finding my writing uni work (the subject I love).

 

Also, just to clarify, it's not how similar the themes/overall storyline are that bothers me. It is a coming out story and there are tons. I'm fairly comfortable with that part. It's the individual lines 'the talking thing' and the arm pulling thing that are bothering me. I don't know how to fix something that's done unintentionally and this is probably going to be something I obsess about because there's no way I'm going to be able to remember every line I've ever read and avoid it. I just wish I could. IMO, this story can't stand against the one it's being compared to (which is why I definitely would have cut these things had I seen them). I wish those smaller things weren't so similar so that this story might possibly stay in another... category, on it's own, or at least away from the...shinier ones that make this one look like crap in comparison. So, I guess, my reasons for being upset are slightly selfish. Lol.

 

And I promise I won't show up again until thirteen is done. Uhm... it's about three thousand words in. Hopefully, I can get this one out before two more weeks pass. And thank you all, for your support and encouragement. This is part of why I love it here at GA so much. Seriously, thanks...

 

and that's the other reason I posted because I thought after all the criticism (including the email) you needed to be shown support. From my experience with criticism as constructive as it maybe, it still hits me hard and can affect me the next time I have to do something similar. About the specific similarities Vic pointed out, I personally think that because of how you explained how they came about - their part in the plot, or in their characters, which is part of what makes them them, I think it's OK. you didn't intend for them to appear so similar in those incidents, they just did out of what sounds like was appropriate for the characters/story. and as cynical romantic said you're story IS good. don't knock yourself. as you said, you can't see what others see .

 

celia

Edited January 18, 2009 by Smarties

[Conner]

Jordan, give yourself a break! :2hands:

 

So now I have this picture of you in my mind...you're on your knees, naked upper body (I like that part ) and you're flailing yourself with a cat-of-nine-tails.

 

The only worry that I have about you not finishing this story is that you're going to implode first.

 

If Ryan were to read some of your recent posts, he would say, "Stop being such a fag!"

 

enuf said.

 

Conner

[TalonRider]

Actually, I think Ryan would have said this, "Stop being such a drama queen."

[J_Ross]

It's about time. Replies.

 

John Dorian, I have no idea what to say. I'm flattered...obviously but just saying that feels a little weak. I'm thrilled you like the story enough to continue to check for updates daily even with everything else you have to do. I could just offer to send you notice when I've updated...if that'll help at all. I've never had someone tell me they'd have sex with one of my stories before, I feel like I should be doing...more. Lol. Your comments on my characters were...better than anything I could have ever come up with. *shrug* I love reading comments like these and finding out how everyone is seeing the crap I put out. It's hard for me, to take a step back and really look at it and it's refreshing and intriguing to see someone explain it the way that you did. I wouldn't have said I'm doing anything as interesting as probing at thought processes...mostly I'm just trying to make believable characters (they were supposed to be likeable and relatable, but that parts not working out so well. Lol) but I like your explanation better. Also, it's been said already but, I've gotta say it again. Mental constipation? That's perfect. Lmfao.

 

kjames, Thank you so much! It's my first shot at teen angst (and it's way harder than I thought it would be) so, it's always really great to hear that it's working out on some level. I'm glad you like it and that you think it's realistic and I feel like I'm getting redundant here and it's still early, but, really...thanks.

 

Conner, I'm never sure if I should be part of the discussion here, or if I should just smile and say thanks, but I'm glad you appreciated it. I love this thread. I said earlier, but it's hard, for me as the writer, to really look at this story and see what's...already there. I've a clear vision of what's going to happen, but I can never be sure of how it translates or of how it looks overall, if that makes any sense. This thread really helps with that.

 

Can I just say...cat of nine tails? Uhm...Ouch. O.o Lol, I wouldn't and I'm not that upset. Just a little worried about how I can avoid issues like that in the future. Also, I'm shit with communication. I try to be clear, but I'm just not really great with getting a point across...ever. But...I hope I made the one I was trying to make...which is that I'll not be dropping any stories. I don't think I'm actually capable of that.

 

PluginMatty, I think the most interesting thing about this thread is hearing y'alls reactions. I mean, I can't really tell how something has translated but your comment here was really...intriguing because I had the same issue writing it, that you had reading it. A lot of times, I have to take a step back, because I'd like for all of my characters to be likeable, and for everything to 'work out' but it doesn't work with their characters sometimes (most of the time) and the result is a chapter full of angst and...bad feelings that I didn't really want there. I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but I'm going to go on anyway. I thought this chapter sucked and it was literally draining to write it. I LOVELOVELOVE Ryan's character, and I'd love for everyone else to love him as well, but he's been bashed by quite a bit of people recently. I would have loved to write him as the perfectly accepting best friend, but... I just couldn't. After I posted the chapter wherein he found out about Jake and his reaction... I wrote another (never posted) with a different reaction and it was just... really horrible. It didn't work and I didn't recognize his character at all. I'm rambling now. I got a little...excited. Lol. My point was, that it's interest that, though I thought that the chapter sucked (and you didnt) our 'reactions' to reading/writing it were almost identical. It was...hard. Ugh, anyway, I'm glad you liked it! Thanks so much for taking the time out to let me know what you thought.

 

Benji, Lol, I loved the comparison to finding out Santa's not real. And yeah, totally everyone's problem now. Misery loves company. And Ryan'll come around, sooner than you think and hopefully I'll be able to get a couple secrets of our chests. *sigh* I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. More as soon as I get it back, assuming it's not crap. Thanks for reading.

 

Verm, Thanks for reading!! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

 

NaperVic, I've already replied to you, for the most part, but I'm going in order here, so, once more, thank you for the help and for reading! I'm glad you're enjoying it.

 

Alex, I really expected more Caydence hate after this chapter... apparently, it's just not going to happen. Lol. I'm glad you liked her and that line. I thought it was a little dramatic, but I'm a sucker for dramatic. AND THANK YOU. It's strange how I can come here to GA and get a completely different reaction than I get from readers elsewhere. I've gotten a lot of comments about what a jerk Shane's been being. I think he's been being a SAINT, dealing with Jake the way he has been. *shrug* Thanks for reading and for the awesome comment! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

 

Celia, I'm glad you like the extra insight. I'm never sure whether or not I should give it, it's good to know that some appreciate it. And the email was a little...baffling. It's really hard for me to understand how I'm supposed to reply to someone that hasn't technically said anything first *shrug* There was a lot in the email about how unappreciative I am, and I hope that, at least isn't true. That was the bit that bothered me. I'm definitely not arrogant, or unappreciative and it was just...totally out of left field. It sort of threw me for a loop. And I've read and loved the stories too. And I know that my storyline/characters are different. It's those pesky 'moments' and individual 'lines' that are bugging me. *shrug* There isn't much else I can do, but keep writing and hope for the best. I can't really fix something I wasn't aware of, so for now, I'm just going to forget it and try and read through the chapters a bit more carefully before posting them. Oh, and no need to apologize. It wasn't really directed at anyone individually, I just didn't want anyone to worry that I'd be throwing in any towels. I hope I wasn't rude. Thank you, though, for the encouragement. I'm not likely to give up, even if I desperately want to at times, but the encouragement and support really does help. It does wonders for keeping me motivated and I've heard that people write better when they're feeling confident. Lol. Seriously, thank you, I definitely appreciated it. And Good LUCK with your essays (if you haven't finished them already).

 

Cyn, Thank you. Y'all always help with the anxiety. And you were the first person to point it out, I think. o.O Not sure, one of the first two, I'm pretty sure. I can't read anything when I'm supposed to be writing. I've tried. Every time I start, I can't go through with it because I feel...guilty for not working on what I should be because I'm silly like that. And I'm thrilled that the characterizations work. I think I mentioned ealier, but I would like for everyone to LOVE Ryan, the way I do, and I can see why they don't...but I couldn't bring myself to write him differently here. It doesn't work and it's...just really awesome that some of you (most here at GA, I think) are trying to understand him. He's such a fun character. And, thank you, so much. I'm...there's a lot in the responses to this last chapter that kind of makes me blush. I really don't deserve most of it, but thank you. I'm glad you think so highly of the story and that you'd be more likely to go for a cup with Jake than, you know, pour one over his head.

 

TalonRider, Lol...uhm...I'd deny it, but...*shrug* you're probably right.

 

 

So, more soon (hopefull) if the chapter isn't completely worthless. Hope you all enjoy. Much love.

[myself_i_must_remake]

you have a good voice and sense of tension.

 

i didn't get to read much, but what i did kept my attention and made me want to skim around to see what happens.

 

considering i have no time for anything, that's not bad.

[J_Ross]

Thanks muchly, for even taking the time to start it! And for taking even more time to drop by and let me know what you thought. I'm glad that what you did read kept your attention.

 

Cheers.

[bmcraz]

I just want to say thank you for writing! This story is quickly approaching one of my all time favs and as soon as I saw the story update for chapter 13 I just had to read the entire thing!!

 

Another great chapter and can't wait for the next .

 

-Josh

[Cynical Romantic]

Did I say I don't find Jake infuriating? Okay, I take it back. Somebody give me a 2x4 so I can hit Jake in the head with it and tell him to get his head out of his ass and to start paying attention to his boyfriend for once. Shane takes Jake to a dollar store and tells stories about how he used to go with his mom and drops about a zillion hints that all is not well, and all Jake can do is whine about how it's not fun?

 

Jake was really cool up until this chapter. But he seems to have developed a serious case of centre-of-the-universe-itis. Jake, stop obsessing about your drama with Ryan and start paying attention to Shane as more than just a guy to make out with. Sheesh!

[Conner]

Sweet, sweet chapter, Jordan. On top of that, humour is everywhere. I'm loving it.

 

Yes, Jake was a bit of an ass over the whole dollar store thing.....but, I'm going to cut him some slack. I mean, Ryan has been his best friend, like forever. Was Jake supposed to learn sensitivity being around Ryan all those years? I think not. And, besides, Jake did finally get it and apologized.

 

Shane's a sweetheart. He's so in tune with what Jake is going through - both the gay/boyfriend thing and the Ryan thing. I'm just hoping he'll survive all that.

 

No Chloe.

 

Ok, the closing scene with between Jake and Ryan was superb. I felt a lot of the tension ease...especially in me. It seems I'm totally invested in how that relationship turns out. I mean, the straight friend is usually a jerk. Actually, Ryan is a jerk but he seems redeemable. The other thing is, Jake needs him in his life...he's still an anchor for Jake as he deals with all this.

 

Thanks, Jordon.

 

Conner

[hh5]

Ry needs adam sandler to teach him anger management.

Nice news he finished his community service - maybe - that got him in better spirits. No more smelly place.

 

I think Jake neurotics is contaminating shane

 

hehehe "FAT" thats funny. but on the other hand Ry must be a heavy dude.

 

Jake still needs to be angry - how does the coach expect to win all the meets

 

Good question - are the three going to the same college?

so Jake can take neurotics to a new level in adult physiology

[Conner]

I have this urge (need?) to talk some more about Ryan, specifically what I see as his view of homosexuality and the process he needs to go through to get back on track with Jake.

 

I don't see Ryan as being homophobic, at least I don't anymore. He definitely has his views on what's masculine and what isn't. For Ryan, even acting gay (what he perceives as gay) doesn't fall within his model of masculinity. Ryan has the usual stereotypical perception of gays as have a lot of straight dudes. Gay is first and foremost feminine, definitely not masculine. Males should be masculine, anything less is gay. That seems to be his biggest criticism..."stop acting like a fag."

 

Ryan hasn't gone down the path, even in his own mind I think, that gays are sick or evil, or whatever. Nor does he wish them physical harm. It seems he has never had to deal with homosexuality directly. It's never been plunked on his doorstep before. He probably thinks about homosexuality as about as often as he thinks about world hunger. It doesn't keep him up at night.

 

Now it's staring him in the face. His best friend is gay, a friend who's been an anchor in his life for a long time. In Ryan's mind, the irresistable force just ran into the unstoppable force. His life went into permanent short-circuit. The first few days, he probably did his best to not think about it. Denial can be a blessing....at least for a while. Of course, we all know that Chole wasn't about to let him linger there for any length of time.

 

Then the anger showed up. I'm sure he started with, "Why is this happening to me?" Other questions might have included, "How am I supposed to react? Why didn't I see this coming? How is this going to affect my life? What does my life look like without Jake in it? How can I fix this?" Somehow he gets to this question, "Jake's a good guy; why did this have to happen to my best friend?" That's when he became redeemable.

 

I'm sure part of his emotional battle is that he feels helpless. There's nothing he can can do to fix Jake. There's no going back. He has to change and he doesn't know how.

 

I loved it when he told Jake that he had just robbed his future wife of the one emotional talk that he (Ryan) had in him.

 

Conner

[Benji]

Great post Conner!! I agree the turmoil Ryan is going thru is not unlike a terminal ill patient facing the impending fate at the end. He is going thru all the steps trying to work it out, yet is fighting all the way in his final analysis.

[rbq4u]

Great post Conner!! I agree the turmoil Ryan is going thru is not unlike a terminal ill patient facing the impending fate at the end. He is going thru all the steps trying to work it out, yet is fighting all the way in his final analysis.

 

Yeah, I'm so glad Ryan's finally coming around. (Reminds me of the song COMING AROUND - Brie Larson, of course they have little to do with each other, shes talking about herself, i'm talking about him....anyways) And I agree with whoever said it before (is obviously to lazy to check), but Jake does have some IT's ALL ABOUT ME-itis (or whatever it was xD).

 

But anyways, I really loved the chapter, as you can tell by my "review" which was basically a rambling version of "it was great". God I sound 12 sometimes (FYI, I'm NOT 12 ;] )

 

Anyways, (I say anyways way to much in casual conversation), I was just wondering (and someone may have asked this before, I'm to lazy to check (im pretty lazy as you can tell)), do you plan out your whole stories or do you just write?

 

OK, I'm done for now (SHUT UP KAI - i'm yelling to myself),

Kai

[Altimexis]

I read Chapter 13 on the road (or in the air in this case), so I'm finally getting a chance to comment. Jordan, it's been such a pleasure watching your writing mature with this story, but part of that has been because the posting has been excruciatingly slow. I know all too well that great writing takes time. There are several "Promising Authors" here who are extremely prolific these days and, don't get me wrong, I think they add a lot to the community, but their writing can't hold a candle to yours. Some good authors, even "Hosted Authors", manage to stick to a weekly schedule and I think that's commendable if one can maintain quality. The only way I will ever stick to a posting schedule is if I've already written a story. I think you've chosen the right course - taking your time and posting your story only as it's ready - and it shows. The writing is superb and the breadth and depth of your characters is truly amazing. You've captured a range of human traits and emotions that is startlingly real.

 

There have been a lot of comparisons between your writing and Dom Luka's and I think that's inevitable. You share a lot of his style, but your writing is also unique. Although you share a common subject matter, the emotions of your characters are more raw, less calculated and more volatile. Both styles are valid perceptions of high school life, but yours shows a few more of the blemishes, unfiltered, and it works very well.

 

You've set in motion some very interesting things in chapter 13 that I imagine are going to come to play in the near future in your story. Sean had an intense desire to regress into his past, hence the trip to the dollar store with Jake. He's obviously worried that the doctors are always finding things with his mom and I get the impression that his mom isn't exactly telling him everything, either. He's worried about his mother's health, and probably for good reason, there's probably something in his mother's history that leaves him good reason to worry - probably some form of cancer, and Jake, being a typical self-centered teenager is totally oblivious to the whole thing. In the meantime Ryan is finally coming around in a way, but the relationship is still fragile. I'm wondering if it will be Ryan who recognizes the stress in Sean's life before Jake does.

 

Great writing, Jordan. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

[Daisy]

I read Chapter 13 on the road (or in the air in this case), so I'm finally getting a chance to comment. Jordan, it's been such a pleasure watching your writing mature with this story, but part of that has been because the posting has been excruciatingly slow. I know all too well that great writing takes time. There are several "Promising Authors" here who are extremely prolific these days and, don't get me wrong, I think they add a lot to the community, but their writing can't hold a candle to yours. Some good authors, even "Hosted Authors", manage to stick to a weekly schedule and I think that's commendable if one can maintain quality. The only way I will ever stick to a posting schedule is if I've already written a story. I think you've chosen the right course - taking your time and posting your story only as it's ready - and it shows. The writing is superb and the breadth and depth of your characters is truly amazing. You've captured a range of human traits and emotions that is startlingly real.

 

There have been a lot of comparisons between your writing and Dom Luka's and I think that's inevitable. You share a lot of his style, but your writing is also unique. Although you share a common subject matter, the emotions of your characters are more raw, less calculated and more volatile. Both styles are valid perceptions of high school life, but yours shows a few more of the blemishes, unfiltered, and it works very well.

 

I agree with you I think. I couldn't work out what was distinct or different to Domluka though I could feel it reading, apart from it being a unique story. I think though that's what I have enjoyed about reading Domluka's ITFB because it does feel more er, raw, volatile and less prescriptive of who/what the characters are and whats going to happen, or unfiltered as you said. it does seem to have matured distinctly (although of course I enjoyed reading the others). but again its different to this story, I'm just trying to get my thoughts together I suppose over what is good writing.

 

Celia

[PlugInMatty]

PluginMatty, I think the most interesting thing about this thread is hearing y'alls reactions. I mean, I can't really tell how something has translated but your comment here was really...intriguing because I had the same issue writing it, that you had reading it. A lot of times, I have to take a step back, because I'd like for all of my characters to be likeable, and for everything to 'work out' but it doesn't work with their characters sometimes (most of the time) and the result is a chapter full of angst and...bad feelings that I didn't really want there. I'm not sure if I'm making sense, but I'm going to go on anyway. I thought this chapter sucked and it was literally draining to write it. I LOVELOVELOVE Ryan's character, and I'd love for everyone else to love him as well, but he's been bashed by quite a bit of people recently. I would have loved to write him as the perfectly accepting best friend, but... I just couldn't. After I posted the chapter wherein he found out about Jake and his reaction... I wrote another (never posted) with a different reaction and it was just... really horrible. It didn't work and I didn't recognize his character at all. I'm rambling now. I got a little...excited. Lol. My point was, that it's interest that, though I thought that the chapter sucked (and you didnt) our 'reactions' to reading/writing it were almost identical. It was...hard. Ugh, anyway, I'm glad you liked it! Thanks so much for taking the time out to let me know what you thought.

 

Hey Jordan,

 

First of all, thanks for taking the time to reply. It's always cool to read a great story like yours, but to engage with the author as well is cool on a whole other level. I'm sure other people feel the same.

 

Anyway, I really, really think chapter twelve was some of your finest work. Obviously, it's fascinating to read the reactions/experiences you had while writing this, and I think it's a hallmark of your ability that you can draw these emotions out of the reader as well. As authors, we spend hours trying to convey these sorts of emotions to the reader - to make them laugh when something's funny, to make them cry when something's sad, to make them feel discomfort when somebody is in an uncomfortable situation. If the reader feels as uncomfortable reading chapter twelve as you did writing it, then you've done a brilliant job.

 

Remember, you don't have to make readers happy to be a great author. Happiness is just one of the millions of emotions we try to convey. If somebody feels strongly enough to 'bash' a character of yours, or if you've taken a reader a long way out of their comfort zone, then you've achieved something amazing. You've taken a line of text on a computer screen and brought it to life in the most incredible of ways.

 

In reality, making a reader smile is probably the easiest of tasks as a writer. It's easy to make someone smile, but it's harder again to make someone cry, and what you did with chapter twelve was probably the hardest thing of all. If you can take a reader and make them so uncomfortable that they struggle to read on (no matter how badly they want to), then you've achieved something brilliant.

 

I really hope that isn't lost on you.

 

Cheers,

Matt

[J_Ross]

I'm not replying yet, though chapter fourteen is coming quicker than usual so far *knocks wood*.

 

It's just...

 

I really don't deserve you guys...

[rbq4u]

I'd like to say we don't deserve you - ah, but who am I kidding, we totally deserve you - I mean, what else would I do with the time I spend stalking my "favorites" page to see if you update?

 

[J_Ross]

I just want to say thank you for writing! This story is quickly approaching one of my all time favs and as soon as I saw the story update for chapter 13 I just had to read the entire thing!!

 

Another great chapter and can't wait for the next .

 

-Josh

Thanks so much, Josh, I'm thrilled you're enjoying it! The next chapter, should be up soon and I'm really sorry about the wait.

 

Did I say I don't find Jake infuriating? Okay, I take it back. Somebody give me a 2x4 so I can hit Jake in the head with it and tell him to get his head out of his ass and to start paying attention to his boyfriend for once. Shane takes Jake to a dollar store and tells stories about how he used to go with his mom and drops about a zillion hints that all is not well, and all Jake can do is whine about how it's not fun?

 

Jake was really cool up until this chapter. But he seems to have developed a serious case of centre-of-the-universe-itis. Jake, stop obsessing about your drama with Ryan and start paying attention to Shane as more than just a guy to make out with. Sheesh!

Lol, I knew it was too good to last. *hands you a 2x4* Have at it. He might deserve a bit. Actually, I've thought he deserved it for awhile now, and I wanted to make his 'neglect' just a bit more obvious. He's got a lot, imo, to work out, but here's hoping he gets his shit together.

 

Sweet, sweet chapter, Jordan. On top of that, humour is everywhere. I'm loving it.

 

Yes, Jake was a bit of an ass over the whole dollar store thing.....but, I'm going to cut him some slack. I mean, Ryan has been his best friend, like forever. Was Jake supposed to learn sensitivity being around Ryan all those years? I think not. And, besides, Jake did finally get it and apologized.

 

Shane's a sweetheart. He's so in tune with what Jake is going through - both the gay/boyfriend thing and the Ryan thing. I'm just hoping he'll survive all that.

 

No Chloe.

 

Ok, the closing scene with between Jake and Ryan was superb. I felt a lot of the tension ease...especially in me. It seems I'm totally invested in how that relationship turns out. I mean, the straight friend is usually a jerk. Actually, Ryan is a jerk but he seems redeemable. The other thing is, Jake needs him in his life...he's still an anchor for Jake as he deals with all this.

 

Thanks, Jordon.

 

Conner

I would have sworn you hated Ryan. Lol. And I'm glad you caught the apology. I was pretty sure I could have made that bit clearer. Chloe'll be back...and you rock for catching her absense. *nods*

 

Ry needs adam sandler to teach him anger management.

Nice news he finished his community service - maybe - that got him in better spirits. No more smelly place.

 

I think Jake neurotics is contaminating shane

 

hehehe "FAT" thats funny. but on the other hand Ry must be a heavy dude.

 

Jake still needs to be angry - how does the coach expect to win all the meets

 

Good question - are the three going to the same college?

so Jake can take neurotics to a new level in adult physiology

Lol, they all need therapy of some sort. And, who knows, a happy Jake could do as well as an angry Jake. He hasn't, so far, been completely happy in the story so far. Not during a meet anyway. *shrug* And as for your question... I have no idea. This story ends before graduation Uhm... but if it went on... I'd say no. They'd keep in touch, but it's unlikely, I think, that all three would end up at the same college.

 

I have this urge (need?) to talk some more about Ryan, specifically what I see as his view of homosexuality and the process he needs to go through to get back on track with Jake.

 

I don't see Ryan as being homophobic, at least I don't anymore. He definitely has his views on what's masculine and what isn't. For Ryan, even acting gay (what he perceives as gay) doesn't fall within his model of masculinity. Ryan has the usual stereotypical perception of gays as have a lot of straight dudes. Gay is first and foremost feminine, definitely not masculine. Males should be masculine, anything less is gay. That seems to be his biggest criticism..."stop acting like a fag."

 

Ryan hasn't gone down the path, even in his own mind I think, that gays are sick or evil, or whatever. Nor does he wish them physical harm. It seems he has never had to deal with homosexuality directly. It's never been plunked on his doorstep before. He probably thinks about homosexuality as about as often as he thinks about world hunger. It doesn't keep him up at night.

 

Now it's staring him in the face. His best friend is gay, a friend who's been an anchor in his life for a long time. In Ryan's mind, the irresistable force just ran into the unstoppable force. His life went into permanent short-circuit. The first few days, he probably did his best to not think about it. Denial can be a blessing....at least for a while. Of course, we all know that Chole wasn't about to let him linger there for any length of time.

 

Then the anger showed up. I'm sure he started with, "Why is this happening to me?" Other questions might have included, "How am I supposed to react? Why didn't I see this coming? How is this going to affect my life? What does my life look like without Jake in it? How can I fix this?" Somehow he gets to this question, "Jake's a good guy; why did this have to happen to my best friend?" That's when he became redeemable.

 

I'm sure part of his emotional battle is that he feels helpless. There's nothing he can can do to fix Jake. There's no going back. He has to change and he doesn't know how.

 

I loved it when he told Jake that he had just robbed his future wife of the one emotional talk that he (Ryan) had in him.

 

Conner

I love random urges, especially when this is the result *content* I'm giddy right now, because Ryan's NOT homophobic and I wasn't sure how to make that translate, but you've hit the nail on the head as far as what I was going for with him. I've been struggling with letting y'all see what he's thinking because he's not the type of character to SAY it and Jake isn't a mind reader. That's the trouble with these characters, for me. No one ever says what they mean. *headdesk* I'm working on it. This... comments like this... are really rewarding. All of them are, but it's really just awesome when you get what I was going for and I breathe a sigh of relief when I see these. You're full of win.

 

And I'm glad you liked that line. I wasn't sure it worked. Lol.

 

Great post Conner!! I agree the turmoil Ryan is going thru is not unlike a terminal ill patient facing the impending fate at the end. He is going thru all the steps trying to work it out, yet is fighting all the way in his final analysis.

He IS fighting. That's what I love about his character and his friendship with Jake. I think it's... pretty big of him to shove all of his preconceptions aside and actually work to get past it because he's not willing to give up his friendship with Jake. Ryan is...quite clearly, one of my favorites and I'm glad some of you all like him. *skips*

 

Yeah, I'm so glad Ryan's finally coming around. (Reminds me of the song COMING AROUND - Brie Larson, of course they have little to do with each other, shes talking about herself, i'm talking about him....anyways) And I agree with whoever said it before (is obviously to lazy to check), but Jake does have some IT's ALL ABOUT ME-itis (or whatever it was xD).

 

But anyways, I really loved the chapter, as you can tell by my "review" which was basically a rambling version of "it was great". God I sound 12 sometimes (FYI, I'm NOT 12 ;] )

 

Anyways, (I say anyways way to much in casual conversation), I was just wondering (and someone may have asked this before, I'm to lazy to check (im pretty lazy as you can tell)), do you plan out your whole stories or do you just write?

 

OK, I'm done for now (SHUT UP KAI - i'm yelling to myself),

Kai

Lol, I like rambling, so feel free. Jake is a little self-centered. I wasn't sure that was clear before, so I tried to make it so in that chapter. But, as Conner said, he did apologize. He's an imperfect little brat but he's figuring it out. I think... 0.o Anyways (I say anyways far too much too) I'm glad you liked it. And as for your question... I just write. If I plan a story out start to finish, I no longer feel the need to write it, because I feel the story has already more or less been told. Even if I've only 'told' it to myself. I hope that makes sense. Lol. Writing after I've planned it all out, feels stale for me and I never finish. What I DO do, is outline after the fact. After each chapter, I write a quick outline for myself so I can keep track of everything that has happened so far, conflict and such. Hope that answers your question! Thanks again for reading!

[J_Ross]

I read Chapter 13 on the road (or in the air in this case), so I'm finally getting a chance to comment. Jordan, it's been such a pleasure watching your writing mature with this story, but part of that has been because the posting has been excruciatingly slow. I know all too well that great writing takes time. There are several "Promising Authors" here who are extremely prolific these days and, don't get me wrong, I think they add a lot to the community, but their writing can't hold a candle to yours. Some good authors, even "Hosted Authors", manage to stick to a weekly schedule and I think that's commendable if one can maintain quality. The only way I will ever stick to a posting schedule is if I've already written a story. I think you've chosen the right course - taking your time and posting your story only as it's ready - and it shows. The writing is superb and the breadth and depth of your characters is truly amazing. You've captured a range of human traits and emotions that is startlingly real.

 

There have been a lot of comparisons between your writing and Dom Luka's and I think that's inevitable. You share a lot of his style, but your writing is also unique. Although you share a common subject matter, the emotions of your characters are more raw, less calculated and more volatile. Both styles are valid perceptions of high school life, but yours shows a few more of the blemishes, unfiltered, and it works very well.

 

You've set in motion some very interesting things in chapter 13 that I imagine are going to come to play in the near future in your story. Sean had an intense desire to regress into his past, hence the trip to the dollar store with Jake. He's obviously worried that the doctors are always finding things with his mom and I get the impression that his mom isn't exactly telling him everything, either. He's worried about his mother's health, and probably for good reason, there's probably something in his mother's history that leaves him good reason to worry - probably some form of cancer, and Jake, being a typical self-centered teenager is totally oblivious to the whole thing. In the meantime Ryan is finally coming around in a way, but the relationship is still fragile. I'm wondering if it will be Ryan who recognizes the stress in Sean's life before Jake does.

 

Great writing, Jordan. Can't wait to read the next chapter!

I'm so sorry about the wait between chapters. I tell myself every time that I'm gonna shave off a few days and really buckle down... but even when I follow through on the buckling down bit, it never quite works out like I planned. Recently, the reason for the wait has been my tendency to try and read the chapters before sending them off... and I always end up deleting and starting over. I'm going to keep trying and I THINK (can't promise anything) that the rest of this should go by a little quicker. Rest assured though, that I won't send anything that doesn't feel 'right' to Sharon. I'm incapable of doing it. *shrug* Anyway, I'm really glad that you think it pays off. The wait is something I think about a bit.

 

Unfiltered? I've worried about that as well. A lot of the times, some of the things that Ryan or Jake do... feel a little insensitive/rude/cruel and I know I'm going to get at least one email each time from someone that now hates my characters. Lol. I could NEVER write a Mr. Perfect. It'd be boring, for me and those reading and I know I'd never be able to pull it off. I like the flaws. I like it when, even if it means Ryan comes off as an ass, a scene feels realistic and it's rewarding, really, to hear that you all think it IS realistic.

 

And you're getting a little bit ahead of me with that last paragraph, and there are others who did the same. I'm seriously beginning to think I'm predictable...Lol

 

I agree with you I think. I couldn't work out what was distinct or different to Domluka though I could feel it reading, apart from it being a unique story. I think though that's what I have enjoyed about reading Domluka's ITFB because it does feel more er, raw, volatile and less prescriptive of who/what the characters are and whats going to happen, or unfiltered as you said. it does seem to have matured distinctly (although of course I enjoyed reading the others). but again its different to this story, I'm just trying to get my thoughts together I suppose over what is good writing.

 

Celia

Lol, thank you. I'm glad that it's at least a little bit different. Lol, and here I thought I was UNIQUE. So much for that. Not really. I'm kidding. This is actually really comforting to hear, so thank you!

 

 

Hey Jordan,

 

First of all, thanks for taking the time to reply. It's always cool to read a great story like yours, but to engage with the author as well is cool on a whole other level. I'm sure other people feel the same.

 

Anyway, I really, really think chapter twelve was some of your finest work. Obviously, it's fascinating to read the reactions/experiences you had while writing this, and I think it's a hallmark of your ability that you can draw these emotions out of the reader as well. As authors, we spend hours trying to convey these sorts of emotions to the reader - to make them laugh when something's funny, to make them cry when something's sad, to make them feel discomfort when somebody is in an uncomfortable situation. If the reader feels as uncomfortable reading chapter twelve as you did writing it, then you've done a brilliant job.

 

Remember, you don't have to make readers happy to be a great author. Happiness is just one of the millions of emotions we try to convey. If somebody feels strongly enough to 'bash' a character of yours, or if you've taken a reader a long way out of their comfort zone, then you've achieved something amazing. You've taken a line of text on a computer screen and brought it to life in the most incredible of ways.

 

In reality, making a reader smile is probably the easiest of tasks as a writer. It's easy to make someone smile, but it's harder again to make someone cry, and what you did with chapter twelve was probably the hardest thing of all. If you can take a reader and make them so uncomfortable that they struggle to read on (no matter how badly they want to), then you've achieved something brilliant.

 

I really hope that isn't lost on you.

 

Cheers,

Matt

Okay, so first... this comment had me smiling fondly for quite a while. And I that was totally lost on me until I read this. Before most of these recent chapters, I work myself up into a panic, because I generally think it's all crap. But... there's also the fact that I struggle a lot with whether to make something realistic or... happy (apparently 'happy' is the opposite of 'realistic' for me). There's a lot of pressure, not to disappoint, especially after comments like these, Lol, but I really do appreciate them. It's baffling for me that some of you hold such a high opinion of my writing and... I don't see that I deserve any of it, but it really is awesome. The support and encouragement... I'll always write, but things like this, make it easier to post what I've written. I'm a worrier. Anyway, thanks. Seriously, this comment made my day.

 

 

I'd like to say we don't deserve you - ah, but who am I kidding, we totally deserve you - I mean, what else would I do with the time I spend stalking my "favorites" page to see if you update?

 

 

No way, dude, you all deserve much better. But hey, if you don't know it, I'm not about to argue too much. Lol

Edited February 24, 2009 by J.Ross

[NaperVic]

Congrats Jordan on winning Best eFiction Story by a New Author for In Due Time!

[Cynical Romantic]

Yeah, seriously, congratulations!!!

 

Now, about that hosted author status...

[J_Ross]

Thanks muchly guys! And thanks to everyone that voted for me. I feel honored and stuff to have been included.